how do Cancers prefer to be cared for/comforted...

in times of emotional turmoil? i've read that i should probably "let them be", so as not to make matters worse, but damn it, i'm not gonna sit here and not be there for him. so how should i console him and not make matters worse?

It depends on the situation. If it is related to family issues, I would let him know that you are there for him and let it be.

What is this related to?

Semi Im with a Cancer and it seems like what they say is true. The best thing I can do for him is to let him know its ok to take time to think things through and work them out in his own time and space and that I'll be here for him when he gets back. He needs the time alone but he also wants and needs to know that he will not be punished for taking it. You might be finding it's hard to give him his space because of your own impatience and distrust, I know that was (and sometimes still is) the case for me. But I just trust that he will come back to me refreshed and ready to move forward andI remain (as best I can) patient.

extremely family related; problems with his uncle's side of the family and he has to move in with them soon

the main problem is we don't trust many people. so we try to solve or deal with our poblems on our own. it isn't until we have no solution or we find one that we come out of our shells. so even though we might be dating you that doesn't mean you know everything about us. we will eventually let you in but it will happen with time and patience on your side. so you can't force a cancer to let you in if they don't want to let you in so your efforts might be fruitless. like maianm said let him know you are there for him and that you are not trying to pry into his business and he will move your way slowly but surely. remember we don't move in a straight line so have patience..

thanks SweetestFatale, i'll give it a try... i'm having extreme difficulty though, because the problem is he's gonna be GONE, and i won't be seeing him much for the next few months. so naturally i just want to soak up all the time i can with him...

in times of emotional turmoil? i've read that i should probably "let them be", so as not to make matters worse, but damn it, i'm not gonna sit here and not be there for him. so how should i console him and not make matters worse?

From my experience, I've noticed that men are pretty good at solving their own problems. When a man has a problem, he will distance himself so that he can solve the situation. He will not talk to anyone about it, until the problem is solved. Men like to do what needs to be done, then he will want to talk to you about it later. That's when you'll have a chance to console him.

So maybe you should try letting him know that you're there for him. You could simply say, "I'm here for you". And then back off and give him his space. He'll appreciate you for doing this. The more you try to comfort him and help him solve his problem, the more he will back away from you. Men like to appear "strong" even in times of need. The male ego is fragile.

Yes semi,

You should definitely just allow him to have space to deal with his problems on his own. If he needs you he will come for you. But let him deal with these issues himself. Just give him a little space and time.

i know it is the hardest thing to do but just give him his space and time. i promise the more you push the more he will withdraw..

Dayum,
Cansir, I am glad to see you have your space and come back to the boards. I sure appreciate you!

I don't need to be cared for or comforted.. just give me a brunette scorp!!