How to lose a Cancer in 6 days

No one ever responds to my posts.. I know rhat people aren't psychic on here but a little feedback would be nice.

To get over the pain of of the ghosting of the Taurus, I went back on okcupid. I looked through matches and a guy caught my eye. he is a few years older than me. Im.early 30s, he's late 30s. I love rhat he is also an artist too and geeky. and he finally responded to me. We didn't even chat very long before he gave me his number.

We just.. from the minute that I wrote him until our date, he would talk to me non stop. It seemed as though he wanted to meet the day we started to chat but he was hanging wirh a guy friend. he is in the process of moving down here. Somerhing rubs me the wrong way about his friend. His friend is very childish. His friend is against relationships due to his mother's messy divorces. The Cancer rold.me rhey were at a bar and I said oh, well, the manager and I had a thing, rhat would be awkward. his friend caught wind of rhis. at 8l9 o clock he said they were heading in. when they got to the house he called. his friend called my ex.. that bartender and then played his musoc.. music that the guy had made from the bar. I really should have hung up then. I was mad as a honet. How dare him let his friend act that way.. to call.my ex and then play his music. the cancer went into another room alone and talked to me. his friend kind of had a tantrum. we decided that we woulf.meet the next night after my plans. he had a birthday to attend. I had xlass. I was a. it was about not only what his friend did.. but it seemed the questions he asked me were money related. I'm broke right now and am super sensitive about it. I probably could have answers thoughtfully. such rhat he told me an ex had cheated on him.and he still.met up with her to get closure. he refused to buy her breakfast. I don't think that he should have had to but when he said that he always had to buy her stuff.. I got mad.. there is a difference between being a gold digger and a man investing in a girl, picking up the tab. our bras are like 60 a pop.. hair, birth control.. I did push him away and I didn't hear from his by midnight. I think it's butterty and I let him have it because as a single mom, I only get 4 days a months where I am free I don't have my son. I was upset that he's stand me up. btw, in this time I learned that he had a gf of five years but she committed suicide. his mom had also died of cancer in 2014. he said after her death he didn't date for 5 years. we began to talk again. we had planned to try again on Friday the 13th since we both love horror. e spoke on the phone for 6 hours each night on sunday and monday. I suggested that we meet on Wed for a bit. So Weds rolls arou d when he was comung back from Chicago to downstate where i live. he kept giving me updates. the last that i hewrd from him was 4:30. then nothing. I text him to tell him that I was at a bar til 8.. to take the guesswork out of selecting a place. I got a text saying that he wasn't going to make it. I called him crying. he couldn't believe that I was at a bar by myself. we didn't have concrete plans bit it was understood that we wouod.mewt. I understand that he got busy but being blown off again wasn't going to fly. he showed up. he hadn't showered and complained about his stained shirt. he spoke the entire night. mostly about his life in LA and all the celebrities he met as he lived with someone in a famous band. when 8 hit, time I had to go, he gave me a fake hug. outside we stood looking at the river. I wrapped my arms around his. he didn't really.. he didn't try to touch me or kiss me. I was 45 mins later getting my kid than I wanted. I didn't let him walk me to my car cuz I was embatassed. he's got a new prius and.my car is 13 years old. never not had a guy not kiss me.
you'd think at 8 he would have bolted if he hated me.
by 4 pm I hadn't heard from him. atypical.. he's text all day. I got buzzed rhat night and forgot his present. I had bought him a book and a card. the card wasn't too gushy.. it said.. in Breakfast at tiffanys, Paul gave Holly a book. Let's be weird together. the book was caled "weird Illinois." I dropped it off at his friends buisness. he is an insurwnce agent. the same friend who called my ez. i wasnt rude. i just said could ypu please give it to him.
I also promised that is neber disturb him at his work again.
he still won't talk to me.. I had text him to let him know I enjoyed meeting him and apologized for being crabby. he has completely ghosted me. I wasn't rude on our date. I don't get it

Posted by lightupflipflops
No one ever responds to my posts..

Probably cuz you have a big block of text.

his text the first time he stood me up:
I'm sorry, I was honestly excited to meet you tonight. I had a busy and stressful morning. When I finally had a chance to read your messages I found out about all these assumptions and accusations you were making about me. It was honestly pretty off putting. Then I was having lunch with my friends family and celebrating his brothers birthday. I thought you were busy until after 5 and that is why I told them that is when I needed to leave because I was meeting you. I come back to my phone to find a whole new slew of txts that were again not what I expected. I was not trying to have you come out with my friend and I last night. I was under the impression you did not want to come out. I would have met you on my own but I didn't get the impression that you wanted to come out last night. That is why I went out with him. Then I spent the whole night talking to you because I would have rather have gone out to meet you than sitting at a boring bar while my friend got drunk and chatted with an old friend. I did have an unexpected phone conference tonight. I told you that I am trying to get a job and my friend was trying to connect me with people that can help me get work in my field. The conversation went rather well. At that point I was still planning on coming out to meet you. I was just at a loss of what to say after everything else you had unloaded on me today. I was unable to focus on this phone conference and wrap my head around everything else at the same time. Yes I should have written you sooner but I was honestly at a loss as to what to say at that point. I felt that you had already made your mind up about me and trying to fit me into a narrative you you had laid out. I am not trying to make excuses here, I know it may sound like that, but you really did kind of scare me off. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but the more I thought about the situation, the more I became to understand that we are a lot more alike than you may real

It's long but I'm trying to understand this situation. I don't know what to do.

he has gone ghost

So let him go if he's ghosted.

Yeah, I think the fact that we are clingy is a lie. We have to feel something for you first. When you are establishing a relationship and everything is new and fun, you really don't want to have too many expectations of the other person. It really kills the mood. I get really turned off by this as a Cancer woman. I'd rather just go have a fun time and if we keep it going, then great. If not, I don't spend too much time thinking about it and I move on. If someone did this to me, it would feel overwhelming. Honestly, he could have stood you up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I am not in the mood to socialize, and I need "me time" - anyone who doesn't understand that, doesn't need to be in my life. I hate drama, I have too much going on, and if you bring it into my life, I will cut you out so fast. It sounds like this is what happened with you two. You overwhelmed him, he was being honest when he said you scared him off. His response is not so hard to navigate, he basically told you exactly how he is feeling.

Posted by Luxhc
Yeah, I think the fact that we are clingy is a lie. We have to feel something for you first. When you are establishing a relationship and everything is new and fun, you really don't want to have too many expectations of the other person. It really kills the mood. I get really turned off by this as a Cancer woman. I'd rather just go have a fun time and if we keep it great, awesome. If not, oh well and I move on. If someone did this to be it would feel overwhelming. Honestly, he could have stood you up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, I am not in the mood to socialize, and I need me time - anyone who doesn't understand that, doesn't need to be in my life. I hate drama, I have too much going on, and if you bring it into my life, I will cut you out so fast. It sounds like this is what happened with you two. You overwhelmed him, he was being honest when he said you scared him off. His response is not so hard to navigate, he basically told you exactly how he is feeling.

Amen and spot on..

Posted by lightupflipflops
No one ever responds to my posts.. I know rhat people aren't psychic on here but a little feedback would be nice.

To get over the pain of of the ghosting of the Taurus, I went back on okcupid. I looked through matches and a guy caught my eye. he is a few years older than me. Im.early 30s, he's late 30s. I love rhat he is also an artist too and geeky. and he finally responded to me. We didn't even chat very long before he gave me his number.

We just.. from the minute that I wrote him until our date, he would talk to me non stop. It seemed as though he wanted to meet the day we started to chat but he was hanging wirh a guy friend. he is in the process of moving down here. Somerhing rubs me the wrong way about his friend. His friend is very childish. His friend is against relationships due to his mother's messy divorces. The Cancer rold.me rhey were at a bar and I said oh, well, the manager and I had a thing, rhat would be awkward. his friend caught wind of rhis. at 8l9 o clock he said they were heading in. when they got to the house he called. his friend called my ex.. that bartender and then played his musoc.. music that the guy had made from the bar. I really should have hung up then. I was mad as a honet. How dare him let his friend act that way.. to call.my ex and then play his music. the cancer went into another room alone and talked to me. his friend kind of had a tantrum. we decided that we woulf.meet the next night after my plans. he had a birthday to attend. I had xlass. I was a. it was about not only what his friend did.. but it seemed the questions he asked me were money related. I'm broke right now and am super sensitive about it. I probably could have answers thoughtfully. such rhat he told me an ex had cheated on him.and he still.met up with her to get closure. he refused to buy her breakfast. I don't think that he should have had to but when he said that he always had to buy her stuff.. I got mad.. there is a difference between being a gold digger and a man investing in a girl, picking up the tab. our bras are like 60 a pop.. hair, birth control.. I did push him away and I didn't hear from his by midnight. I think it's butterty and I let him have it because as a single mom, I only get 4 days a months where I am free I don't have my son. I was upset that he's stand me up. btw, in this time I learned that he had a gf of five years but she committed suicide. his mom had also died of cancer in 2014. he said after her death he didn't date for 5 years. we began to talk again. we had planned to try again on Friday the 13th since we both love horror. e spoke on the phone for 6 hours each night on sunday and monday. I suggested that we meet on Wed for a bit. So Weds rolls arou d when he was comung back from Chicago to downstate where i live. he kept giving me updates. the last that i hewrd from him was 4:30. then nothing. I text him to tell him that I was at a bar til 8.. to take the guesswork out of selecting a place. I got a text saying that he wasn't going to make it. I called him crying. he couldn't believe that I was at a bar by myself. we didn't have concrete plans bit it was understood that we wouod.mewt. I understand that he got busy but being blown off again wasn't going to fly. he showed up. he hadn't showered and complained about his stained shirt. he spoke the entire night. mostly about his life in LA and all the celebrities he met as he lived with someone in a famous band. when 8 hit, time I had to go, he gave me a fake hug. outside we stood looking at the river. I wrapped my arms around his. he didn't really.. he didn't try to touch me or kiss me. I was 45 mins later getting my kid than I wanted. I didn't let him walk me to my car cuz I was embatassed. he's got a new prius and.my car is 13 years old. never not had a guy not kiss me.
you'd think at 8 he would have bolted if he hated me.
by 4 pm I hadn't heard from him. atypical.. he's text all day. I got buzzed rhat night and forgot his present. I had bought him a book and a card. the card wasn't too gushy.. it said.. in Breakfast at tiffanys, Paul gave Holly a book. Let's be weird together. the book was caled "weird Illinois." I dropped it off at his friends buisness. he is an insurwnce agent. the same friend who called my ez. i wasnt rude. i just said could ypu please give it to him.
I also promised that is neber disturb him at his work again.
he still won't talk to me.. I had text him to let him know I enjoyed meeting him and apologized for being crabby. he has completely ghosted me. I wasn't rude on our date. I don't get it

ok i am so sorry, he is such a sweet guy. He actually felt bad that he forgot he even had plans with you, but you still showed up at the bar that night.... without receiving a text from him still confirming him meeting you. Why would you go? I would never do that... I would at least wait to see if he responded and if he didn't i'd have my answer. He ghosted you because he isn't looking for what you are, and the fact he has already been so nice I don't think he actually knows how to let you down in a really nice understanding way. let him go. if it's meant to be it will.... if not. well there are a lot of other people out there.

Posted by lightupflipflops
his text the first time he stood me up:
I'm sorry, I was honestly excited to meet you tonight. I had a busy and stressful morning. When I finally had a chance to read your messages I found out about all these assumptions and accusations you were making about me. It was honestly pretty off putting. Then I was having lunch with my friends family and celebrating his brothers birthday. I thought you were busy until after 5 and that is why I told them that is when I needed to leave because I was meeting you. I come back to my phone to find a whole new slew of txts that were again not what I expected. I was not trying to have you come out with my friend and I last night. I was under the impression you did not want to come out. I would have met you on my own but I didn't get the impression that you wanted to come out last night. That is why I went out with him. Then I spent the whole night talking to you because I would have rather have gone out to meet you than sitting at a boring bar while my friend got drunk and chatted with an old friend. I did have an unexpected phone conference tonight. I told you that I am trying to get a job and my friend was trying to connect me with people that can help me get work in my field. The conversation went rather well. At that point I was still planning on coming out to meet you. I was just at a loss of what to say after everything else you had unloaded on me today. I was unable to focus on this phone conference and wrap my head around everything else at the same time. Yes I should have written you sooner but I was honestly at a loss as to what to say at that point. I felt that you had already made your mind up about me and trying to fit me into a narrative you you had laid out. I am not trying to make excuses here, I know it may sound like that, but you really did kind of scare me off. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but the more I thought about the situation, the more I became to understand that we are a lot more alike than you may real

How does this not answer your own question?

You need to control yourself

Here is my problem with social media and websites like this: I don't understand why people have to be mean. To me it really shows how immature someone is if their life revolves around going online to bring other people down - I would never want to be responsible for bullying someone online, or even just hurting someones feelings in all honesty. People use harmful words, they say harmful things, and they don't think twice about it.. and sometimes they have no idea how much damage they've actually instigated.

I hope you didn't take my reply as mean or rude because that isn't what I am trying to convey. However, LightUpFlipFlops, I do feel it would be better for you to probably look elsewhere for a relationship. I am going to be honest again with you, as a Cancer if I really like someone and I have the opportunity to spend time with that person, I am going to do pretty much everything I can to do so. I definitely have days where I just want to be alone and relax, however, if it's a new thing with a new person and I am seemingly excited about spending time with that person I'm going to find a way to make it work, if we've planned something in advance.

Here is my advice with all men, why would you be crazy about someone who isn't crazy about you? I promise you are worth more than that, and you shouldn't settle or be with someone who treats you this way. Even if he is "super nice" sometimes, if a man is in the right mood and trying to get something from a woman, most (not all) are going to say anything - regardless of if they feel that way ten minutes later. You sound really young, and this is definitely advice I would tell my younger self. Don't waste your time on people who aren't going to waste their time on you, go out there and meet someone else, and forget about this dude. I promise if he wanted you, he'd come after you. Cut your losses and move on!