Posted by akatsoupbut considering the fact that he still texts everyweekend of his own ? And also at times tries to take the talk further? He acts all formal and completely emotionally closed but why even initiate a contact if there are 0 feelings left?
I'm afraid he means it. I am cancer and I don't personally like playing games so if I still have a feeling, I'll let the person know and try to find a solution. If I don't but there's the rarity that I still want that person in my life, I'd be very clear about it. I'd still have a lot of nostalgia in my heart though, but I would be aware that that person is not meant for me.
Posted by giaSame question??Posted by akatsoupbut considering the fact that he still texts everyweekend of his own ? And also at times tries to take the talk further? He acts all formal and completely emotionally closed but why even initiate a contact if there are 0 feelings left?
I'm afraid he means it. I am cancer and I don't personally like playing games so if I still have a feeling, I'll let the person know and try to find a solution. If I don't but there's the rarity that I still want that person in my life, I'd be very clear about it. I'd still have a lot of nostalgia in my heart though, but I would be aware that that person is not meant for me.
Also,any way possible on how to re-ignite the lost interest and feelings?click to expand
Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?
Posted by akatsoupbut doesn't constant presence lead to being taken for granted?Posted by akatsoupI think that I'd like to give it time and if I see constancy and presence from the other person then I'd be willing to try again. We usually forgive if the person is important to us. But this might be different to him because all cancers kind of have confusion in their head and never know what they want, that's why keeping it constant might work - you may just catch him on that mood swing that wants you back 🙂click to expand
Posted by TaurusMarineYes, this...Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?click to expand
Posted by Cancer061986can you please explain what does checking the "signal distance" mean here?Posted by TaurusMarineYes, this...Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?click to expand
Posted by tizianithe trickiest part about my situation here is that he's hurt because of what I did and he's angry that I did something that led to a breakup of our relationship which was very surreal.
Well that's why you use consistency, to build past the hurt emotions with supportive feelings and trust. But it's not easy and not worth doing the work alone for 2 people.
Posted by giaHe may still be filled with emotions which you made him experience. He's decided to move on but still cherishes that connection you had. Keeping randomly in touch makes it easier for him to move on as he's coming not fron the loving place here but from the selfish one. He's used to certain patterns of communication. But he doesn't want you in his life. So giving less and less portion of attention makes it him easier to back off and finally disappear in the distance. Most men do this.Posted by Cancer061986can you please explain what does checking the "signal distance" mean here?Posted by TaurusMarineYes, this...Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?click to expand
Posted by TaurusMarineI agree with you that most men do this but when it comes to cancer men I have read that when they are hurt(he is profusely hurt I know) they retreat into their shell during which they are cold and emotionally detached(which he is,again). It says that during this phase they want you to be there but not be clingy. The crab sticks his head out little by little once in a while to see if you're there and if you are consistently there then after a long probation,he finally comes out of his shell slowly getting back to normal with you.How true is this?Posted by giaHe may still be filled with emotions which you made him experience. He's decided to move on but still cherishes that connection you had. Keeping randomly in touch makes it easier for him to move on as he's coming not fron the loving place here but from the selfish one. He's used to certain patterns of communication. But he doesn't want you in his life. So giving less and less portion of attention makes it him easier to back off and finally disappear in the distance. Most men do this.Posted by Cancer061986can you please explain what does checking the "signal distance" mean here?Posted by TaurusMarineYes, this...Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?click to expand
Posted by giaIt's true if they still want to be with you.Posted by TaurusMarineI agree with you that most men do this but when it comes to cancer men I have read that when they are hurt(he is profusely hurt I know) they retreat into their shell during which they are cold and emotionally detached(which he is,again). It says that during this phase they want you to be there but not be clingy. The crab sticks his head out little by little once in a while to see if you're there and if you are consistently there then after a long probation,he finally comes out of his shell slowly getting back to normal with you.How true is this?Posted by giaHe may still be filled with emotions which you made him experience. He's decided to move on but still cherishes that connection you had. Keeping randomly in touch makes it easier for him to move on as he's coming not fron the loving place here but from the selfish one. He's used to certain patterns of communication. But he doesn't want you in his life. So giving less and less portion of attention makes it him easier to back off and finally disappear in the distance. Most men do this.Posted by Cancer061986can you please explain what does checking the "signal distance" mean here?Posted by TaurusMarineYes, this...Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?click to expand
Posted by TaurusMarineSo is it safe to say that mine still wants to be with me? If not now at least some day? Considering that he has this hugee thick long wall built between us so he makes sure to not let us connect emotionally but he'll text me every weekend asking how am i doing and what am I upto...Posted by giaIt's true if they still want to be with you.Posted by TaurusMarineI agree with you that most men do this but when it comes to cancer men I have read that when they are hurt(he is profusely hurt I know) they retreat into their shell during which they are cold and emotionally detached(which he is,again). It says that during this phase they want you to be there but not be clingy. The crab sticks his head out little by little once in a while to see if you're there and if you are consistently there then after a long probation,he finally comes out of his shell slowly getting back to normal with you.How true is this?Posted by giaHe may still be filled with emotions which you made him experience. He's decided to move on but still cherishes that connection you had. Keeping randomly in touch makes it easier for him to move on as he's coming not fron the loving place here but from the selfish one. He's used to certain patterns of communication. But he doesn't want you in his life. So giving less and less portion of attention makes it him easier to back off and finally disappear in the distance. Most men do this.Posted by Cancer061986can you please explain what does checking the "signal distance" mean here?Posted by TaurusMarineYes, this...Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?click to expand
Posted by Cancer LadyHe didn't delete me from social media. I see some misinterpretations there. He deleted some files we had uploaded on OneDrive when we were in a relationship. He initially said "i also deleted your phone number" and then said "btw,i didn't delete your number.Just said it avoid the onedrive saga ." because he hates confrontation now.
Cancers are ruled by emotions so once we cut that outlet with you, THAT'S IT! We can be nice and cordial and keep you as a friend until you no longer serve a purpose, then we will disappear on you and you will be hurt when we do. So stop hanging around thinking he's going to change his mind about you because he's not. You've been waiting a year and nothing and it's not going to change. If he was going to reconsider it would have been after a couple weeks at most but not a year, also him deleting you out his life from social media etc. is the nail in the coffin.
You are continuing to inflict pain on yourself by hanging on to hope you can make things right with him, you can't. You broke the #1 rule with us and that is trust. There is no coming back from that so your best course of action is to move on before he get a girlfriend and rub their relationship in your face causing you more pain.
Posted by giaIDK.. I wishPosted by TaurusMarineSo is it safe to say that mine still wants to be with me? If not now at least some day? Considering that he has this hugee thick long wall built between us so he makes sure to not let us connect emotionally but he'll text me every weekend asking how am i doing and what am I upto...Posted by giaIt's true if they still want to be with you.Posted by TaurusMarineI agree with you that most men do this but when it comes to cancer men I have read that when they are hurt(he is profusely hurt I know) they retreat into their shell during which they are cold and emotionally detached(which he is,again). It says that during this phase they want you to be there but not be clingy. The crab sticks his head out little by little once in a while to see if you're there and if you are consistently there then after a long probation,he finally comes out of his shell slowly getting back to normal with you.How true is this?Posted by giaHe may still be filled with emotions which you made him experience. He's decided to move on but still cherishes that connection you had. Keeping randomly in touch makes it easier for him to move on as he's coming not fron the loving place here but from the selfish one. He's used to certain patterns of communication. But he doesn't want you in his life. So giving less and less portion of attention makes it him easier to back off and finally disappear in the distance. Most men do this.Posted by Cancer061986can you please explain what does checking the "signal distance" mean here?Posted by TaurusMarineYes, this...Posted by giaJust checking the 'signal distance'. When he steps too far from you and finally feels nothing - you're completely forgotten. Just a safe retreat for him, probably not for you. I wouldn't help him though.
..when a cancer ex tells you they don't have any feelings for you anymore ? He breaksup for something you did but still continues to text asking about you but builds a hugeeeeeee long thick tall wall in between you two and makes sure you two don't connect emotionally. What is it all about? Are they lying their feelings internally because they are hurt and angry or they truly mean it?click to expand
Posted by arieswoman27
@gia
I have read some of your posts and first, I want to say how sorry I feel for the way things have happened with your Cancer boyfriend. I do not know what lie you told him and screwed up... now it's pretty irrelevant. Clearly you are hurting a lot and refuse to let go.
Not sure I can give you some insight here - I had a similar situation last year with the Cancer man I was dating. We broke up for stupid reasons but my feelings for him were so intense that at times it felt like I was going insane, totally insane. Thing is, like you, I tried to reason with him, to convince him of my point of view but whatever I said would have no effect on him. Stubborn as hell, he withdrew into his shell and wasn't bothered. I also realised that if I "ran into him" and tried to chat, he would talk to me out of courtesy but not because he would genuinely want to. Do you want this? ...I realised I did not. I was too precious to let myself be treated this way. So I cut it all, I just CUT all contact with this man; I even went as far as to avoid him entirely. Did it hurt? Oh yes, like hell...But I knew I had to regain my sanity and myself. I needed to re-build my self-esteem after it got severely bruised through the breakup. Anyway, fast forward, after about 5.5 months of no contact (obviously I missed him loads during this time, went through a terrible time but never bothered him), our paths crossed again. Flustered, I barely managed to say hello.. Suddenly I heard him suggest drinks and dinner and asked me to confirm for the following week. I was stunned and could not believe my ears. Ever since we have met several times and spent some amazing quality time together. I once again recognize in him the guy I fell for one year ago. The difference this time around is that I do not push him. Yes, things are moving slowly, too slowly for an Aries and at times I wonder whether we will just be friends despite the crazy chemistry in the air. Yet I am not planning to ask him anything relationship-related, I guess I will get answers when the time comes. Now I am just trying to show him that not only I am a fun person to hang out with but I am also more mature and tactful than I once was. This may not be a lot to many people on this forum, as it's pretty common nowadays to insist on getting clarity ASAP by giving ultimatums, but hey, at least with Cancer men, I've found out the hard way that's not how it works. It's incredibly easy to make things worse after a breakup, so I would advise you to think of whether you genuinely want this man back. If your answer is yes, I would immediately put an end to all communication with him and focus on me and my growth without him in the picture. Stop hurting yourself more than you already have. If a relationship with this man is meant to happen, it will. Give him time away to think, process what happened
Posted by thinktoomuchYeah I am going through self healing now. Trying to forgive and restore my old confident strong self.That's why I didn't respond to his "what you upto" text last night even though he knows I read it because I need time off to gather myself.I feel bit ashamed and stupid that I have been this person who would always strictly follow the principle of respect >> love/friendship and I missed out this principle with this person. So I am restoring myself.Will take some time but I'll get there and will annoy you people again when and if I go through my random temporary low phases 😛 🙂
Gia, he´s playing you like a fiddle. He knows it, but pretending to not know it as a part of the play.
You have to accept, that people do really change in their relationship to other people, and he is no longer the guy you fell in love with. Obviously he needs to grow and find out, wht he wants in life other than just juggle people around to feel good about himself, and you need to grow too and realize, that you are chosing to keep yourself in this situation and be unhappy. That´s not something you can blaim him for and it actually has got nothing to do with him.
Posted by MoonArtist
I'd believe him. He's hurt, and he's done with you, but he wants to make you hurt, too. That's the only reason I've ever let someone stay in contact after I ended something: to get those extra jabs in when their guard is down, and they think I've played nice so I must be tame, that all is forgiven/forgotten. Surprise! ~cat ate the canary grin~
Once the game of hurting you is out of his system you won't hear from him again.
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