Me and my boyfriend broke up and i feel horrible about it

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by leo48 on Wednesday, March 23, 2016 and has 53 replies.

How to Cope After a Breakup and Heal Your Heart

Feeling horrible after a breakup is common. Focus on self-care, give yourself time to grieve, and seek support from friends or a counselor. Understanding the emotional impact can help you move forward and find peace again.

You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Me and my boyfriend broke up and i feel horrible about it

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

im such a bad person im hurting but yes its my fault.i think its best I stay away from him forever

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

im not even going to approach him or let him approach me

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by Koniucha
Why did you two break up?

I was sending messages to two other guys he didn't like what I said. he broke up with me. im all sad now but im gonna avoid him and avoid being in the same room with him.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

I called one of them daddy and he called me baby and I told him I like when he says that. then another dude was telling me how me and him cant talk anymore like friends because he has a gf and he doesn't want to end up having sex with me. and the last one says he is in love with me and said would I have his kids. I said sure if things don't work out between me and my guy. but I lied to him I didn't mean it. im just a bad person all around. now my ex will expose me and probably try to make me jealous. I just don't want to be confronted full on. I hate being confronted. he probably thinks im a whore now. 😢but that's what I get for trying to have sides. or to have a lil fun. I feel bad but I just cant face him or be in the same room with him. I feel like crying my eyes out

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

I cant face him...I mean I already did but I cant

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by Harukaa

Why you did this ?

You are not bad person, maybe you feel unloved .. or it just mistake .. don't be harsh to ur self.

Just tell me why u did it?

the first guy was already a boyfriend but Ii wanted mt ex...I didn't really care much for the other one. but I didn't want to hurt him I like him. I dated him last summer. I don't know I guess because I think I can have it all. my ex he wasn't good at communicating except when we txt each other or when I have to force it out of him. I knew we weren't going to last because I knew I was gonna mess up somewhere down the line. I always do. I don't even deserve a good relationship. I don't even belong in this life

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by blackphase

Posted by leo48

Posted by Harukaa

Why you did this ?

You are not bad person, maybe you feel unloved .. or it just mistake .. don't be harsh to ur self.

Just tell me why u did it?

the first guy was already a boyfriend but Ii wanted mt ex...I didn't really care much for the other one. but I didn't want to hurt him I like him. I dated him last summer. I don't know I guess because I think I can have it all. my ex he wasn't good at communicating except when we txt each other or when I have to force it out of him. I knew we weren't going to last because I knew I was gonna mess up somewhere down the line. I always do. I don't even deserve a good relationship. I don't even belong in this life

We all make mistakes dear. Everything that happens, good or bad is an opportunity to learn and grow. Just think about how you feel now and make a conscious effort to change it. Maybe don't jump into another relationship if you still feel the need to explore and see what your options are. There is nothing wrong with doing that, many people do. Just don't invest yourself in someone if you are not in a place to do so, then you will avoid feeling this way about yourself. Get in touch with yourself and find the real you, find what you really want and need in life and build from there.

click to expand

thank you for saying that....I will

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

so since he is a cancer will he still talk to me

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

does he want me to feel bad because I know If I don't show any emotion he will think I don't care I just don't know

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by Montgomery
This is an EX making you feel bad for talking

to a boyfriend. .. right?

he was my boyfriend not anymore though. but no he is an ex that got mad at me for txtn other guys

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by TheLibraMudra
If he tries to talk to you, you should talk to him. He deserves that.

what if he tries to touch me or u know act like nothing ever happened between us. I will be so confused whether he still likes me or not. I will be confused to what he wants.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

he said I lied. this guy I know wanted me to txt him last night. so my ex hugged me in front of him I guess to show him that I was his. I went home and txtd my ex and he asked me if that guy that asked me to txt him he said did I fuck him and I said no and then he said did u give him head and I said no. he asked if I was going to txt him. and I said no. well I think he was mistaken about who I was talking to. he thought I was talking to the guy that wanted me to txt him. but I didn't. so he doesn't know that so he said I lied.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by leow31

Your ex got mad at you for talking to other guys.

Fck him.

You don't owe him squat.

So he's gonna tell your bf that you're texting other dudes? Correct?

Tell your bf before your ex does.

And hopefully he forgives you.

I think he will do that. I just cant face him.

Profile picture of kissmygrits
@kissmygrits
15 Years5,000+ PostsCancer

How about this... don't text other guys while you're with someone. Any business interactions (school stuff etc ) should be handled by email or face to face.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by kissmygrits
How about this... don't text other guys while you're with someone. Any business interactions (school stuff etc ) should be handled by email or face to face.

I just really want us to talk and get a understanding and then some closure so I can go away for good. im scared I might end up crying in front of him

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by Harukaa

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Wait wait ... why you said that

Just cuz you talk and play with guys does not mean you are bad or who*

From what I read this cancer is your ex .. why would you care about his feeling and him at all —

Is he your ex when u talking to them ? Or was your boyfriend then broke up with you cuz you talk to them??

And how old r u?

click to expand

he was my boyfriend he broke up with me and im 24. ugh I hate this 😢 I always fuck up

Profile picture of kissmygrits
@kissmygrits
15 Years5,000+ PostsCancer

Posted by leo48

Posted by kissmygrits
How about this... don't text other guys while you're with someone. Any business interactions (school stuff etc ) should be handled by email or face to face.

I just really want us to talk and get a understanding and then some closure so I can go away for good. im scared I might end up crying in front of him

click to expand

Yes. You must. Hey you're going to cry. You HAVE to shut this down. Are you happy? It doesn't look like it. Think of your happiness.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by leo48

Posted by kissmygrits
How about this... don't text other guys while you're with someone. Any business interactions (school stuff etc ) should be handled by email or face to face.

I just really want us to talk and get a understanding and then some closure so I can go away for good. im scared I might end up crying in front of him

Yes. You must. Hey you're going to cry. You HAVE to shut this down. Are you happy? It doesn't look like it. Think of your happiness.

click to expand

should I approach him first or should I let him approach me first. I don't want do do this over messaging.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

he is probably exposing me to everyone he probably thinks im a whore. my life is over

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

I have to avoid him at all costs. he came to my house this morning and confronted me

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by kissmygrits
You should approach. Start to take control back. You can do this. Think of it as a right of passage.

what if he resists and walks away I will feel powerless and weak

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by Koniucha
This sounds over dramatic.

THIS IS REAL!!!! sorry im over dramatic I do that sometimes when im at a lost but im so serious about all this. I want us to be on good terms or I will just go

Profile picture of kissmygrits
@kissmygrits
15 Years5,000+ PostsCancer

Let him go. Good riddance. Cut off all contact. If he does that he does not care about you. Do you want someone like that in your life?

What if he doesn't and gains respect for you. Kick that fear to the curb.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by kissmygrits
Let him go. Good riddance. Cut off all contact. If he does that he does not care about you. Do you want someone like that in your life?

What if he doesn't and gains respect for you. Kick that fear to the curb.

your right it will be so awkward if my friends find out or if anyone finds out

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

I have to go to work now I don't know if I will be able to message you guys afterwards bye have a great day and thanks for the encouragement and advice you all are kind people🙂

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by leo48

Posted by kissmygrits
Let him go. Good riddance. Cut off all contact. If he does that he does not care about you. Do you want someone like that in your life?

What if he doesn't and gains respect for you. Kick that fear to the curb.

your right it will be so awkward if my friends find out or if anyone finds out

click to expand

Here's the real problem.

And what you don't realize is that you

have more control over this than him.

But you have to TAKE it, like @kissmygrits said.

YOU tell THEM how it happened (not that you

owe them an explanation).

Where is your moon?

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Harukaa

Why you did this ?

You are not bad person, maybe you feel unloved .. or it just mistake .. don't be harsh to ur self.

Just tell me why u did it?

Stop coddling bad behaviour, please and thank you.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by leo48

Posted by kissmygrits
Let him go. Good riddance. Cut off all contact. If he does that he does not care about you. Do you want someone like that in your life?

What if he doesn't and gains respect for you. Kick that fear to the curb.

your right it will be so awkward if my friends find out or if anyone finds out

Here's the real problem.

And what you don't realize is that you

have more control over this than him.

But you have to TAKE it, like @kissmygrits said.

YOU tell THEM how it happened (not that you

owe them an explanation).

Where is your moon?

click to expand

i dont really know but could u find out for me do some investigating. and what is a cusp

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by whatthecrab

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Heartbreak is devastating, it's like dying from the inside out. Throw in a little guilt and you'll feel like you've survived a suicide attempt. What you've done is not worth dying over. The sadness will wear off and soon you'll be on to the next, just to repeat the cycle all over again.

I'm terrible at comforting people. Sorry, I'm suffocating in ennui.

click to expand

its ok i found it a little comforting 🙂

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by blackphase

Posted by leo48
i just want him to know what really happened

You said he came to your house to confront you this morning.. Did you tell him what really happened?

I am not even sure that I really know anymore myself.. A bit confused.

click to expand

i couldnt he wouldnt let me talk

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by blackphase

Posted by leo48

Posted by blackphase

Posted by leo48
i just want him to know what really happened

You said he came to your house to confront you this morning.. Did you tell him what really happened?

I am not even sure that I really know anymore myself.. A bit confused.

i couldnt he wouldnt let me talk

Send it in an email or something if you really want him to know. But please do not expect it to change the current situation. If it will ease some of your troubles to get the truth off your chest, by all means.. do it. But it likely will not change the outcome of the situation and you'll have to accept that. It's best for you to just pick yourself up and look at this as a learning experience. If you care enough about someone that it will cause you feel this low to lose them, don't repeat the same mistakes.

click to expand

i hear you....

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Why don't you change/reform your shitty, narcissistic ways than saying all this suicidal nonsense. Now, if you are saying that you refuse to change your user and incredibly self-centered personality, then it is best you kill yourself because user personalities have nothing to offer others than grief. They are a menace.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Why don't you change/reform your shitty, narcissistic ways than saying all this suicidal nonsense. Now, if you are saying that you refuse to change your user and incredibly self-centered personality, then it is best you kill yourself because user personalities have nothing to offer others than grief. They are a menace.

click to expand

ouch

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by leo48

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Why don't you change/reform your shitty, narcissistic ways than saying all this suicidal nonsense. Now, if you are saying that you refuse to change your user and incredibly self-centered personality, then it is best you kill yourself because user personalities have nothing to offer others than grief. They are a menace.

ouch

click to expand

Did I say anything incorrect though? You need to fix this personality flaw. It's not good to be self-centered and go around hurting people and then feeling bad only when you get caught. Did you feel bad when you were flirting with the other two guys behind your boyfriend's back? The problem is you did that with TWO guys and it was a conscious decision you made. Smarten up.

Profile picture of leo48
@leo48
10 Years

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by leo48

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Why don't you change/reform your shitty, narcissistic ways than saying all this suicidal nonsense. Now, if you are saying that you refuse to change your user and incredibly self-centered personality, then it is best you kill yourself because user personalities have nothing to offer others than grief. They are a menace.

ouch

Did I say anything incorrect though? You need to fix this personality flaw. It's not good to be self-centered and go around hurting people and then feeling bad only when you get caught. Did you feel bad when you were flirting with the other two guys behind your boyfriend's back? The problem is you did that with TWO guys and it was a conscious decision you made. Smarten up.

click to expand

i understand

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by blackphase

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Why don't you change/reform your shitty, narcissistic ways than saying all this suicidal nonsense. Now, if you are saying that you refuse to change your user and incredibly self-centered personality, then it is best you kill yourself because user personalities have nothing to offer others than grief. They are a menace.

People are able to learn from their mistakes, grow and change however. She recognizes that what she did was shitty and awful, she's not trying to hide that. She is the only one who can make the change, but having you guys all telling her how awful she is, is not going to encourage her to change or become a better person. She is already beating herself up about this. All we can do is hope that she sees that what she did was wrong and hurtful and can learn from her mistakes.

click to expand

I'm not telling her to go kill herself and nor do I like suicidal comments. Life is a gift adn people should see it as that, not take it for granted. She did something bad and nobody should be telling her otherwise. I told to her reform herself into a better person and not go kill herself.

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

And by the way, if people are going to cause nothing but grief to others and do nothing to change their narcissistic behaviour, then they are a menace to the society and they should get rid of themselves.

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by blackphase

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by blackphase

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by leo48
I just want to die....you wouldn't believe all the wrong I have done to people. im horrible I told him I wasn't gonna hurt him and I did. I didn't mean to. I have to avoid him.

Why don't you change/reform your shitty, narcissistic ways than saying all this suicidal nonsense. Now, if you are saying that you refuse to change your user and incredibly self-centered personality, then it is best you kill yourself because user personalities have nothing to offer others than grief. They are a menace.

People are able to learn from their mistakes, grow and change however. She recognizes that what she did was shitty and awful, she's not trying to hide that. She is the only one who can make the change, but having you guys all telling her how awful she is, is not going to encourage her to change or become a better person. She is already beating herself up about this. All we can do is hope that she sees that what she did was wrong and hurtful and can learn from her mistakes.

I'm not telling her to go kill herself and nor do I like suicidal comments. Life is a gift adn people should see it as that, not take it for granted. She did something bad and nobody should be telling her otherwise. I told to her reform herself into a better person and not go kill herself.

No.. you said if she won't change then she may as well kill herself becasue people like her offer nothing but grief.

I agree with you.. She is in the wrong. But even if she doesn't take this opportunity to learn and change her ways, we are still in no position to tell her she may as well kill herself if she isn't willing to change. It's her decision and yes, if she doesn't change she will hurt many more people.. but it's not up to us unfortunately.

click to expand

Yes, indeed, I said that and I'm of that opinion that people refuse to change their shitty ways, then they should go kill themselves. What this essentially emphasizes on is change your damn self instead of playing the victim card that you're gonna go kill yoruself.

First
Previous
Next
Last