I NEED HELP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND MY CANCERIAN MAN

I'm a Scorpio and the guy I've been seeing for the past 4 months is a Cancer. When we first met (his best friend was dating my best friend), we instantly clicked. We sat up until 6am in the morning talking on his friend's couch and he even offered to trail me home just to make sure that I didn't fall alseep on the way home. As soon as I made it home, he texted me telling how interested he was in me and he hoped to see me again. He called me all day everyday (he's a route driver for a uniform company) and he always made time for me. Then, about 2 months after we met, he changed. I rarely got to see him and he had these terrible mood swings. He'd get mad and say some hurtful things to me only to apologize moments later. It got to the point where I just threw my hands up and walked away from the situation. Before I left, I told him that his temper was going to get the better of him and because of that he'll lose out on a good thing. I told him that he's so jaded from dating unsavory women (most of the women he's dated have used him for money; I'm the only one who hasn't tried to) that he wouldn't know a good thing (me) if it punched him in the face. I stopped calling him. He didn't call me. I thought that was the end.

During the time that we were apart, I found out that he had a gf the entire time we were dating and they had recently broken up. After that, he attempted to call me but I would ignore his calls. He tried so desperately to get in contact with me that he started using his best friend as a messenger to get through to me. He told his best friend that he knew he was wrong for lying to me and doing the things he did and that he wanted to change in order to make things right with me. I still put up resistance until my best friend told me that he's really trying hard to change and that I should give him a chance (I don't give 2nd chances). So I did and things are the way they were at first. When we talked for the 1st time in about a month, he was quick to explain the gf situation (she was using him for his money and they were on the verge of breaking up) which I listened and yold him that still didn't justify his seeing me while they were together. He told me he wanted to change and honestly he has a great deal.

What perplexes me is is this an act he's putting up or is he serious about being with me?

Hello rox go with the person whom you love but not with the one who doubtedly loves you because believing in oneself is better than others .Try others who is at your level of intellect and emotion.taurus andlibra can male great union inromance and all.

honestly you guys, i really care for this guy deep down and yes i do want this to work. as for the 2nd chance issue, i've been hurt waay too many chances off of giving 2nd chances. i've told him that he has had 1 time to screw it up so that has been made very clear.

btw, i have a prob with using !!!! too. maybe we should form "! users anonymous" lol

I dunno for me I would look at a couple of things and the first would be the fact that he's shown himself to be a cheater and a liar, he has a weak character and make bad choices in women for me that's a red flag, not only did he lie to you but he cheated on and lied to the woman he broke up with, all of that would be a red flag for me to not be serious about him especially if I wanted a long term love situation with an honest devoted man, cheaters tend to change in order to get what they want only to come full circle with cheating again. It all depends on what you want and if the person your choosing can really step up and be that, there's no other way but to slowly find out, as long as you don't look away from any signs that is showing you he's playing games or he's lying or even cheating on you then you should be just fine.

Be careful, take your time....

Moon_eyes thanks for the advice. I will admit for the past almost 3 years it's been hard for me to find love; the last relationship I had lasted 3 year (my heart was severely broken by a cheating Libra) and since we broke up, I have not had a stable relationship. Since then, all of the guys I dated were not so kosher guys and I went my own way eventually building a wall to avoid falling for a guy so that I won't get hurt. With this Cancer, even though things are fine I'm still cautiously observing him to see when this act is going to faulter if it is an act at all. I'm not giving too much of myself away to this guy, because I feel like if he truly wants my trust and my love, he damn sure better prove himself worthy of it if not, I have plenty of other options 😉

In my humble opinion, you guys were just dating. Until your man or any man says to you that he wants to be with you and ONLY you and demonstrates with his actions and words that you are the one for him then don't take him seriously.

He can ONLY cheat on you if you both agreed to a monogamous, committed relationship and both of you were exclusive or married. If you didn't talk about it BEFORE you two were together, then he probably wasn't really that serious with you. Dating is just dating. It doesn't mean that two people immediately click together and get married. You may have intense feelings for this man but that may just be what "you" percieved.

If he had a girlfriend, he had a girlfriend. Why worry about her anyways. Girlfriend is just a label it doesn't mean he was serious with her either esp. if he was seeing the both of you. That is just how men do. You have to be open to seeing other men and dating other men too until this man steps up to a commitment or marriage.

It is nothing wrong with you dating him. If you get attached easily just don't sleep with him.