Light555
@Light555
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 19 · Topics: 1
I think my Cancer friend is afraid of me being "cooler" than he is
Show him this thread of yours.
Problem solved.
Problem solved.
Gurl why u even wasting time on this young whippersnapper.
Hes trying to sow his oats and your being a wet blanlet.
Hes trying to sow his oats and your being a wet blanlet.
Posted by SensitiveBluesI thought about this from the beginning, as soon as we met. I didn't want him to see me as gf. We just talked, hung out from time to time and had fun. Like friends. Am I naive? But then he started the attempts to kiss me, hug me more than usual. And I confess I liked it, I accepted this. This is where my fault was.
You're old
Next
I think at some stage he started to realize that it was wrong and was going nowhere. But didn't know how to stop this without hurting me. He's a really nice guy.
And that's why he might have decided to show me his worse part. So I would get disappointed in him and drop him.
But it's so hard. I really got used to him. He's like one of my relatives to me. I worry about him, care for him and don't want to let him go just like that.
I guess this is what I should tell him about. Maybe this will make him feel better. I really want to stay friends
Posted by DMVI really like him. And he helped me a lot. I don't want to leave him just because he has a gf now. This is his choice.
Gurl why u even wasting time on this young whippersnapper.
Hes trying to sow his oats and your being a wet blanlet.
You know, I realize now that all this time I've been hesitating myself about who I'd like to be for him - a gf or just a friend. And maybe he got confused because of that. But now I want just friendship. And I think I should tell him about that so he could calm down and stop running away from me.
Thank you, Dxpnet)) To solve my problem and realize everything, I should have posted my story here long ago)
Posted by thinktoomuchYeah, I'm beginning to think this way myself. Having read back everything I wrote, I found out my mistake. I should be more smart next time. Gotta use my brain before getting involved in the situation like this
this topic is so weird......
Posted by Arielle83Arielle83, you're so right. I don't know what I was thinking with. But what's done is done. I'm not going to look for the meeting with him again. I let myself stoop so low. I learnt a lesson. Time to move on
You sound extremely shallow.
And petty.
Wanting to be "cooler"?
Wtf? Do 29 year olds talk like this?
I stopped caring about my flare back in junior high.
Posted by ElTigre25Sorry about that) English is not my native language. But right now this is not the worst thing about me. I'm so messed up. Phhhhh
For starters, your title is worded oddly. "Afraid of you being cooler" I don't think that is how you meant it. Lol
I hope no one else would do the same mistake
I think you mean "more successful" right?
I could see that happening, maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe he really is jealous. Only he knows, and it's not worth the mind games.
I could see that happening, maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe he really is jealous. Only he knows, and it's not worth the mind games.
Posted by CruellaWhiteCruellaWhite, I wish I had you near when I got myself in this weird relationship.
Why do you want to waste time on a guy that doesn't value your time and you etc? You deserve more.
From his point
You lack intimacy.
It could be you are way cooler. But I think from his point of view you have less connection. It sounds like he is going through stuff you might not relate to.
He wants to date girls etc. And yes you could be 'in the way' of that.
But don't wait around for a guy who is not a real friend to you.
And don't make assumptions and then put yourself above him. He probably SENSES that ad doesn't like it. Friends are equals.
And yeah cancers go through stuff. He is probably taking time to deal etc.
Honestly I don' think that he got away because of me being bad. I'm very confident about myself. And quite opposite, he constantly compared me to his previous gfs and said how great I was, kind, caring, good at cooking, capable of doing things on my own. And even when he told me that he started dating another girl, he stressed one more time that she wasn't so kind as I was, that she never complimented him on little things as I did. That's what I couldn't figure out. How could he leave me if I was so great? But after your comment it got clear for me. He needed intimacy but our age difference, our social positions and me myself held him back. He may have felt so lousy because of that.
As I said before, at some point I got stupid and let him a little more. It was my mistake. I got confused myself and made him get confused too. And now it's soooo hard. It's like I've lost my right arm. I need time to let it go. Because I can't be so possessive about him
Posted by AriesIntrovert16Yeah, I meant "more successful". Thank you)
I think you mean "more successful" right?
I could see that happening, maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe he really is jealous. Only he knows, and it's not worth the mind games.
And you're right. Only he knows...
Posted by HarukaaThese were his last words to me) That I need a 34-year old, to be exact) I don't know why this age. Maybe there is something about it) Gotta look for someone to check)
You need man not boy.
Posted by Light555The age difference became uncomfortable for him--Posted by ElTigre25Sorry about that) English is not my native language. But right now this is not the worst thing about me. I'm so messed up. Phhhhh
For starters, your title is worded oddly. "Afraid of you being cooler" I don't think that is how you meant it. Lol
I hope no one else would do the same mistakeclick to expand
he isn't at the same place in life that you are,
nor should he be.
Not his fault, and not your fault.
You didn't screw up, it just sucks that it happened
like that... you may do well with someone a bit older.
But
Time usually fixes these things... let some time pass
before approaching him regarding friendship and quit
being so hard on yourself ffs.
Oh, Gosh. I feel soooo much better right now. Thank you all for your comments.
Posted by MontgomeryI will. Promise) Thank you. I just need a break. I should stop rushing thingsPosted by Light555The age difference became uncomfortable for him--Posted by ElTigre25Sorry about that) English is not my native language. But right now this is not the worst thing about me. I'm so messed up. Phhhhh
For starters, your title is worded oddly. "Afraid of you being cooler" I don't think that is how you meant it. Lol
I hope no one else would do the same mistake
he isn't at the same place in life that you are,
nor should he be.
Not his fault, and not your fault.
You didn't screw up, it just sucks that it happened
like that... you may do well with someone a bit older.
But
Time usually fixes these things... let some time pass
before approaching him regarding friendship and quit
being so hard on yourself ffs.
click to expand
Posted by Light555I actually know what you meant by the topic title.Posted by ElTigre25Sorry about that) English is not my native language. But right now this is not the worst thing about me. I'm so messed up. Phhhhh
For starters, your title is worded oddly. "Afraid of you being cooler" I don't think that is how you meant it. Lol
I hope no one else would do the same mistakeclick to expand
Cancers love success and want to be seen as successful. So it may be hard to see someone else achievingn and theyre not.
However its not your problem to save him
Posted by thinktoomuchRight. That's what I thought in the beginning of our friendship. That's why I didn't want to give him any chance. Next time I'm gonna be more cautious and guarded. I think it's better to know each other's goals in advance to behave in a right way and stick to it. Mistakes are worth a lot.Posted by Light555If you would have had sex with him, then that would have made the "relationship" last for what? A year? He´s still young and probably not ready to settle down anyways.Posted by CruellaWhiteCruellaWhite, I wish I had you near when I got myself in this weird relationship.
Why do you want to waste time on a guy that doesn't value your time and you etc? You deserve more.
From his point
You lack intimacy.
It could be you are way cooler. But I think from his point of view you have less connection. It sounds like he is going through stuff you might not relate to.
He wants to date girls etc. And yes you could be 'in the way' of that.
But don't wait around for a guy who is not a real friend to you.
And don't make assumptions and then put yourself above him. He probably SENSES that ad doesn't like it. Friends are equals.
And yeah cancers go through stuff. He is probably taking time to deal etc.
Honestly I don' think that he got away because of me being bad. I'm very confident about myself. And quite opposite, he constantly compared me to his previous gfs and said how great I was, kind, caring, good at cooking, capable of doing things on my own. And even when he told me that he started dating another girl, he stressed one more time that she wasn't so kind as I was, that she never complimented him on little things as I did. That's what I couldn't figure out. How could he leave me if I was so great? But after your comment it got clear for me. He needed intimacy but our age difference, our social positions and me myself held him back. He may have felt so lousy because of that.
As I said before, at some point I got stupid and let him a little more. It was my mistake. I got confused myself and made him get confused too. And now it's soooo hard. It's like I've lost my right arm. I need time to let it go. Because I can't be so possessive about him
click to expand
Posted by DMVThe problem is that I can't get rid of the habit of feeling sorry for everyone who's suffering. That's how I was brought up: to help anyone who's in trouble.Posted by Light555I actually know what you meant by the topic title.Posted by ElTigre25Sorry about that) English is not my native language. But right now this is not the worst thing about me. I'm so messed up. Phhhhh
For starters, your title is worded oddly. "Afraid of you being cooler" I don't think that is how you meant it. Lol
I hope no one else would do the same mistake
Cancers love success and want to be seen as successful. So it may be hard to see someone else achievingn and theyre not.
However its not your problem to save himclick to expand
Just recall your childhood: we were always being taught to be kind, caring. And when we grow up, it's very hard (personally for me) to transform ourselves into a little more strict and selfish person. The point is that I need to learn how to be a little more aggressive, to think about myself in the first place and always stick to my goals in life. Amen)
He's definitely a nice guy. He made me learn a lot of things)
I also thinks, he doesn't want take advantage of you. He's probably protecting your feelings, a (most likely) Leo would handle this differently and you'd be more hurt afterwards. Don't force it.
Posted by HarukaaI try to keep him in my life. Just to have a chance to see him from time to time and share news. I think it's normal to know how your friends are doing.Posted by Light555Woman need man who older than her tbhPosted by HarukaaThese were his last words to me) That I need a 34-year old, to be exact) I don't know why this age. Maybe there is something about it) Gotta look for someone to check)
You need man not boy.
Men are childish more than womem, we can't handle that if u ask me about that .
There was a man who love me and he was younger than me .. ugh .. it was such a really bad friendship lol I see him as my brother and nothing more cuz he is so young
Women need men older than them cuz they need someone who take care of them, look at what happen to you ... you trying to save this boy .
Good luck honeyclick to expand
But you're right. I try to save him as well. Because it seemed to me that he started dating the first random girl who turned out to be close to him.
I know you're gonna say it's not my problem. This is his life and his choice. And I'm not his mom. But I can't stop worrying about him. At least right now. We were so close.
I guess I'd better get myself busy with something. Just to distract myself from him. Time to hit the gym) The summer is coming)
Or I'd better worry and care about my family. He maybe doesn't even think about me right now
Posted by NamyI thought about this too. But it was very hard for me to put up with his disappearance for a month without even saying good bye. I just couldn't get it. So that's why I came to him and had to face the ugly truth eventually
I also thinks, he doesn't want take advantage of you. He's probably protecting your feelings, a (most likely) Leo would handle this differently and you'd be more hurt afterwards. Don't force it.
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