Life sucks

okay I guess the ill-communication thing with my girlfriend was because she was having doubts about our relationship, which means she couldn't decide whether she wants to leave me or stay, she said, "part of me wants to break up but the other part wants to stay with you" and she was all saying that she doesn't know what she wants anymore. So me and her are "taking a break" even though its practically obvious she still likes me... needless to say I'm crushed.... this is the worst I've ever felt in my life. any idea what the hell is happening?

What is happening to you is totally normal, do not for a second think that anybody else has gone through life (especially young life) without going through the exact same thing, sometimes worse. You will be okay no matter what happens. Just give her some time; she will make her decision and whatever it is, is the right one, even if it's upsetting. You don't want to be with someone who isn't 100 percent sure, anyway, right? Don't worry, you will be alright. Keep your head up. If you have any further questions I'd be glad to help you out. If anything, just remember you're not alone.

🙂

Sorry to hear that the reason for the lack of adequate communication was second-thoughts. I hope she comes around...it sounds like she still cares...but, peer pressure can be a problem.. ??think that could be it??

Here's exactly what happened last night...
Okay me, her, her best friend, and my best friend all went to see this concert with authority zero and some other bands, we were in line for about an hour, me and my girlfriend didn't really even talk to each other for a good 20 minutes, it was like she didn't even know me, then I started to get very concerned and I asked her "whats wrong?" and she said "nothing" and I gave off some depressing sigh, and she was like "the night will be ruined if I dont talk to you huh?" and I was like "well, its like you dont even know me anymore..." then she said "i'm sorry and then pulled up her sleeves and showed me some cut marks.... (i was completely shocked and scared for her) and I was like "when did you do that??" and she was like "this morning..." and then I told her that she could ALWAYS talk to me whenever she felt like that, that I was just a phone call away and I'd drop anything to listen to her because I know this has been a very tough year for her and her past wasn't that great either and I let her know I'd always be there for her when she needed me, and then she told me she needs me to be more serious in our relationship, maturity-wise, and I agreed, and then I told her what had been bothering me, the fact she pushed me away everytime I tried to be serious and help her out when she's down, and she said she's trying to work on that. so i thought things were going a little smoother.. until she began saying how she wasn't sure if this is what she wanted anymore and that part of her wanted to stay together and the other wanted to break up, then we started to REALLY talk about it, then we eventually came to the conclusion that we should take a break to give her (and me I guess) some time to think about what she wants and all that. and then since i was really hurt i said something totally out of sadness, like when she said it wasn't my fault and that its all her, and she asked me if I was mad, and I said, "at myself, for getting too attached to you especially since I knew this day would come eventually, because good things just dont work out for me.." and then she said "oh shut up.." then she kissed me. and then I said to her "even though this is not the right place or the right time.. I really love you" and then she said, "this might be a little akward, but I love you too." but we still agreed to take a break. now keep in mind this was all BEFORE the show. so we walked into the place hand in hand, and while we were waiting for the first band to play, we just held each other and she would look back at me and smile and since there was a lot of noise in there it was kinda hard to hear what she was saying, but what I heard was "i think this is meant to be....." or something along those lines and i didn't hear the rest, and then during the show it was like everything was all better, she was all happy and smiling and really getting into the bands and we held hands most of the time everything seemed like it was better, and on the ride back she had to sit on my lap to make room for my best friend in the car, and she just had her arm around me and she hugged me before I got out, and were still taking a break for her to think.... I am wayyyy to confused to come up with a conclusion on my own, sorry its so long

she also had said that she didn't know if she was ready for this... maybe she feels like she wants it but doesn't know if she's ready?? i dunno....

My take on all this, is that if you two are really meant to be, you will be. Just relax, I know it's hard, but just chill, and let her have some time. You might also suggest that she talk to someone professional about her problems, even though she likely won't, at least you put it out there that you are worried, and that might be enough to get her to think about what she's doing to herself and stop. Take the whole thing one day at a time. I hope you're doing okay...

Heather