Needing some light shed....

I need your help to understand. My mate of 2 year had a back injury that required surgery. He has been through alot of stress with WCB's procedures and accepting his health situation. I understand his medication for deperssion can give ED, as well as stress and depression and I can cope with the fact that the act of penetration hurts him still 6 months after surgery and now possibly has a new protusion.
I dont understand his lack of desire or interest to be with me sexually. When he is lucky enough to get an erection he runs for his computer or turns over his belly. He has no problem looking at women on the net, If I masturbate to try and keep my sanity I am told I have a good sex life and don't need him. I tried not wanting him, but it is making me miserable, I am feeling unwanted, unloved, unattractive. I am feeling pushed away although he states he loves me, I feel like cuddling is forced I have to ask for it.
I am doing my best to show him I love him and try to take careof him and help him with his paper work to try and releive his stress. His situaiton isnt that bleek. He gets overwhelmed and has a hard time seeing the next step.
I did get so frustrated, I did his paperwork for him to try and releive his stress. And I was tough on him to get job done. I apologized if I hurt his feelings. And tried to tell him I am only interested in his well being and health. I feel I crossed the line in his businessbut he thanked me over and over, he never would have got it done it and would have dug a deep hole to fix his situation.
He apologized for not being such a good boyfrriend lately and told me he was tempted but didnt bite,
I am scrard I did something to offend him to cut me off, I am trying so hard to be here for him I love him with allmy might and i want to want him forever. I am scared he is pushing me away. We have a hard time talking about this, he feels i am pushing him and that is not my intention just to understand. Maybe he doesnt want me anymore and he is just waiting for me to get so frustrated. I dont want to give up. I need to understand. Sometimes I think he has to much going on in his head to have me here.
My worry is interfering with my ability to concentrate?. Can you offer any help?

I want to be supportive and loving and caring. I love him oh so much and really do wish to be with him until the end of time.I dont want to fall into depression I wont be any good for him or myself if I cant understand this.

I need to be able to communicate this without hurting his feelings. I want us to get stronger. How do I get him to open up to me. I feel he is distant and uncommunicative in these matters. I know asking and asking will only push him away this I have learned. I dont know if he really wants me anymore. And I dont know how to feel differently.

I do have a counselling appointment but would appreciate any insight any could offer.

He is on meds for depression. I'm ok with the back surgery 6 months ago and it still hurts to treat me like a rag doll " we really had the sex life, our friends died to have" i definately dont want him to hurt himself, i 'm great at doing all the work, sometimes i do like it the other way around but not to often, I need my exercise. And I love giving him BJ til he blows TMI sry, but he is turning that down too.

What is killing me is the lack of affection, i tell him what really made me fall for you was I love the way you cuddle me all night, so he stops,

I really fear I have wounded him but not sure what I did....

He is talking of the future, and making plans, I'm trying to get him to pay for course so he can keep his brain focused on positive and not wait for WCB retraining when that come due he can ask for next step in his new career path, cant hurt to take initiative himself, he has ordered books from library and is hoping to challenge the exam, I think that is great but the study tool from the course may prove valuable also..We live in a remote area and convieniences are not readily available.

Trust every drop of blood in my body, I dont want to make this a me issue, but I need to understand why he is pulling away, but saying all is good. Tonight, I was told he wants me wait until he is asleep to cuddle, he cant get confortable.

He goes back to doctor next week to see if it is the medication he is on, stress that is taking his desire away.

And my adventurous lover has decided he only likes traditional sex now?
I see self destruct, i try over and over to enphasize the positve and try to keep his goals one step at a time so he does not get to overwhelmed, WCB is a hassle especially when they did wrong, same for any bureau but he has to see that he started the bad but speaking up he still had to much pain to return to old job but not to doctor but a counsellor, I tried to keep my nose out of it, he wanted to be independant in his health issue. But I had to try and dig him out, we went to doctors He thanks me over and over again he never would have done it and would have been resentful of his situation a long time. We are awaiting word after the CT scan, see whats up, he isn't as hurt as the last time but he was forced to work after a double protusion in his lower back. I know my baby is stressed i just dont know how to deal with his pulling away, lack of desire to have sexual contact with me.

I am wondering if I should go visit family for a bit give him some space not need to feel like a boyfriend and he can tell me when to come home, but I know he'll take that as I want to leave him, He doesnt even want me out with my friends, he wants me home with him after work and he is trying to come back i know i must be patient but i dont get rolling on belly cause u acheived a hard on, or going to the net without so much as a kiss, and he definately doesnt like it when i look at even oliver queen chronicles on the net, he is insecure and it is only him i want a stand in wouldnt please me i want him, and to let go of him would be my worse regret, I WANT THIS MAN FOREVER
I need him to know I am safe and my actions are always cause I love him, even if it isnt what he wants to hear.

my big goof what saying that "he was on another planet" the day I made him see doctor and explain his rampage he had created and was given meds for anxiety and depression i did mean it in a good way , thought i was sugar coating he said i needmore sugar, but it stung him and i am sorry I was brutal it was in the heat of a conversation, he is still seeing what impact this has had on me. I lost my job because I could not handle him thinking about dying or moving into the woods with a broken back, he worried me senseless, so glad we got the meds, I have been here for the ugly, the bad and the awesome.

I want to thank you so much I needed to let this out, he doesnt want the town talking of our problems," he is mad I shared with a girlfriend for support... he is the mighty man and we have a perfectlife, he has what every mans dreams of as he is often told.

I am scared I have the perfect man and I dont want to loose him. This is the first man I want to fight for.