Relapsing thoughts

Hey you crabs... You know I've been doing sort of better the past weeks trying to adapt to change (ex best friend not longer work in the same office) is been kind of strange...

Im normally don't have big deal with changes... And ever since she left things have also change around my office... I thought that finally i was going to have a bit of quiet time with one less thing to distract me... And by having physical distance maybe my feelings where going to start fading little by little... True to be told... No they have not fade and inch... Everytime i feel and overwhelming emotion or think about my friend and how much i miss us... I try to let the feeling pass by and breath and go by my life... If feels like under some sort of bad curse...

Anyways... Part of those changes ive mention is that i got at anal retentive new boss, who is on a mission to make my life misserable... So misserable that I've been about quit three times already in the past week... And today when i felt so down and frustrated that all i can thought of was how much I wished her to be there... So i can run to her desk and get one of her awesome and conforting hugs, that always make me feel better almost instantly... I know i sound super needy... I've other friends and so, but she has something that ive not been able to find in anyone else yet...

We've been NC since she left almost two months, I finally accept she is not going to take me back... And agains my will, i respect her wish... There is nothing i can do or say that will change that...

To be honest it sucks... But i just felt to share with bunch of strangers