TAKING SHOTS AT MY EGO

why does my cnacer male friend take shots at my ego.. whenever we get intimate, n he will go into hiding for a week or so, nt hen when we tlak again, he acts all kool, but then he comes out syaing for example:
i just have one thing to say... i dont liek the wya u kiss, so i dont want to kiss u ne more, its a turn off.

that freakin killed my ego, after that i got so defensive, ic oudlnt even carry on a normal converstaion, i was bitter.
even after the firts time we kissed he said: wow, that was a hott kiss.
so wtf... i dont knwo man..

eh man, i alreday kno i cant type, doesnt mean i cant spell.

lol, ohh thats harsh but good lol

after we finish our lil battle i always look bak and think.. OMG WE ARE LIKE CHILDREN STILL. lol kinda sad. but honetsly THIS SITE, has helped me to laugh things liek this off.
thnx antibling

ignore him and don't let it affect you. this is a power trip he's on just to see how badly he can affect you. ignore him like you'd ignore any annoying jackass.

If a fella told me he didn't like the way I kissed, I would drop him...

yeh, blingy, on his head (his big head)

God its so hard to ignore, its been repeating in my head all day.
thats the one thing i said was my favourite thing to do, kiss him.

He was mad about something... probably not even having to do with you at all. You shoulda said something equally harsh during the conversation, floor his ego for a second and then pounce on him with psychological bullying lol He'd love you forever I bet. What a jerk. Be a bully, be a bully, be a bully

This is sh1t type behavior. I cannot bear keeping up with this type of warped psychological mind game crap in order to keep a relationshop going. Lil.Ladie.Taurus you should have told him how dare he say something so insulting like that to you.

I know I said that I was not going to contact my crab again but I did in a moment of weakness on saturday night. I called him up, not really with anything in mind to say except what was he doing and that I said hi. He sounded pissed off and told me that yeah he thought I was right, that we should finish up and not see eachother again as he felt I wanted a relationship.

This sparked an anger in me and I started shouting at him that he was a total head fuck.
I then proceeded to text him everything that I felt and thought about him. I told him how dare he hurt my feelings like that/ who did he think he was/ why did he say he loved me and that he wanted to have children with me if didn't want to mislead me/ that he is a pathological lyer/ that I didn't feel even remotely like I was in love with him but that I wanted to be respected/ that he had taken advantage of me and invaded my privacy.

He said he was sorry it had come to this and that I was wrong about him. I said I didn't think I was. He said he wanted to call me to explain how I was wrong and he did. He explained that he doesn't know how long he will remain in Ireland and so he cannot commit to me because he doesn't know what he is going to be doing or where he is going to be living.

I said I felt very insulted about calling him while he was in the pub and that he sounded like he didn't want to speak with me. He apologised for this.

I guess he is sorry for hurting me but I still need to move on and I really really should just stop thinking about him and feeling like I want to touch him again. His words have misled me and hurt me and even though he has apologised they are still words. He is not going to be the kind of guy who will make me feel good about myself.

So anyway from one cancer....and then onto the next! I met up with another guy who's a casual friend of mine and we ended up going for drinks. We kissed last night too. I don't want to leap into something with him on the rebound that might hurt him or mislead him but I have the urge now to be with someone else to re-inforce the fact that my relationship with the other cancerguy is over.

"ignore him and don't let it affect you. this is a power trip he's on just to see how badly he can affect you. ignore him like you'd ignore any annoying jackass."
good god, she'd never get rid of him then...next time you have a chance to talk to him, say this, " you know i have been thinking about the kissing thing, and im glad we can be honest and open with each other. I have been meaning to talk to you about something"...follow this with a personal dig...ie..you could be a little wider, your sack skills are a little lacking...i don't really like when you..whatever.
not only will you feel better, but maybe he will think before he opens his stupid month to speak...
jerk...

i guess i am going to dissapoint most of u for what happened after he said this..becuase i didnt get spiteful.. it was all online.
after he said that i said: lol ok, thats fine by me
cancer: good
me: it didnt have to be said tho
cancer: ofcourse it did..why would i continue kissing u if it turns me off
me: i wasnt planning on ever kissing u again
cancer: well why didnt u say that before i said anything
me: lol i didnt think u were going to insult me
cancer: w/e u say
then he went on syaing how he was bored and home alone and imlike, oh your lucky .. and he slike: except that im alone. ( i kno hes hinting at me)
i say:i would come over but im not on ur favourites list no more.
cancer: not unless u can cheer me up which i doubt
me: lol
cancer: so how would u cheer me up?
me: i dont kno, make soup?
cancer: nothign with food
me: maybe i could just stand there and let u take shots at my ego for your own enjoyment
cancer:riiight...w/e u say
me: a bj?
cancer: maybe a good one
me: lol u kno dman well that i hate sucking u off
cancer:then y did u mention it
me: cuz ur pathetic
cancer: may i ask why u dont liek to
me: i could say something creul n be defensive becuase u pissed me off, but the honest truth...i dont feel comfortbale doing it for u, becuase i kno u are always judging me.( i could've told the truth here, but i didnt wnat to insult anyone, i dont think theres any point..so i said..)
cancer:lol thats becuase i am.. maybe if u would jsut do it rigth the first time we wouldnt have that problem
me: maybe we jsut not able to please eahcother sexually
cancer: your not able to please me, but i can plzu 😉 lol anywayz im off bye

THEN I GOT SOO ANNOYED, i called his cell and said: (lil laugh) Thats BUllshit and You know it.

THERE, childish i know.

That guy sounds like a Class A prick if you ask me.

who knows why he said that...people are varying in personalities....from an astrological point of view he either has a virgo ascendant or moon OR as far as cancers go he may be retaliating for some instance where he feels HIS ego was attacked. Has that happened?

not really....
the last time we got together we got intimate, and then afterwrads i was all hyper and tryna kiss him, jus playing around and stuff, and he would push me away and tell me to chill. and then i told him, he could go home... and then he sliek: u sure? and im like yeah.. n then so he left....

later that week, i would call him, i called quite a few times, finally he called me back..
me: r u free, i wnat to see u
cancer: why?
me: just to talk and hang out
cancer: thats it?
me: yeah
cancer: why, wut do u want to tlak about
me: nothing, im just bored and wnat sumone to hang out with
cancer: y would u wnat to see me so bad, what do u need to tlak to me about?
me: NothinG! i just wnat to hang out.
cancer: well im not in the mood. i dont wnat to.
me: may i ask why?
cancer: BECUASE IM NOT IN THE MOOD, IM TIRED, AND IM STILL IN PAIN FORM GETTING MY WISDOM TEETH PULLED OUT.
me: please dont yell at me
cancer: well ur aggravating the fuck outa me
me: oaky, no problem then, i will leave u alone.. i hope u feel better soon
cancer: ... thnx... bye.

then thats when he went online and asked me: what do u wnat.. n we had that convo i told u bout earlier.
soo.. i dont think i hurt his ego..unless im missing sumthing.

BY THE WAY, he had plans that night he came over,when i told him to go home, he wasnt planning on staying long anyway. so i said he could go if he wnated.

Lil.Lade.taurus you deserve MUCH MUCH more than that dick head.

thank-u mellowdee.... and slowly but surely i am relaizing that lol

but im still too thick headed to let it go

"good god, she'd never get rid of him then...next time you have a chance to talk to him, say this, " you know i have been thinking about the kissing thing, and im glad we can be honest and open with each other. I have been meaning to talk to you about something"...follow this with a personal dig...ie..you could be a little wider, your sack skills are a little lacking...i don't really like when you..whatever.
not only will you feel better, but maybe he will think before he opens his stupid month to speak...
jerk..."

you think so? i don't. i really think he's powertripping and if she acknowledges his power over her (i.e., "i've been thinking (obsessing over) about you said... blah blah blah; "it really hurt that..."; "oh you suck in bed", etc) he'll just know that he can illicit that kind of response. just be like "whatever" and don't sweat him.

when i was young and people would pick on me and try to get a rise out of me, i'd just ignore them like i didn't hear anything and virtually every time they'd be embarrassed like when nobody laughs at your joke.

but the bottom line is LLT, you should've cut off contact with this guy ages ago.

UPDATE::: as u all kno, im not droppin this guy just yet. so i called him this morning..

cancer: *sigh.. hello?
me: hey 🙂 how are u feeling? feeling better?
cancer: ( nicer voice) yeah, im alrite, y?
me: nah, i was just calling to see if u were feeling better. 🙂
cancer: really?
me: yup 🙂
cancer: ookk ( confused voice)
me: alrite, ( lil laugh) bye now
cancer: bye

so now i feel better, im not lettin wut he siad affect me. Hopefully i threw him offguard... or maybe... i just fed to his power trip lolwho knows lol. thats my update.

VIRGOFUN thats what i was kind of thinking today... i mean i called him, and i talked ot him liek everything was kool... he was all short answered, but i kept on my happy voice.
then he said: i ahve a question...
me:yah
cancer: is the only reaosn u keep tlaking to me becuz u think that we will end up together again?
me:yes and no
cancer: y yes, y no?

and he kept on asking me a bunch of quetsions why i keep talking to him even tho hes mean to me. or why out of all my firneds i wnat to keep him around the most.
or is he worth it if my bf breaks up with me,and that i shouldnt think like that, and a bunch of stuff, but then he had to go.

he always says: i kno u think we will end up together but that wont happen becuase i dont wnat it to, and he always asks if i think we will end up together, if thats how i feel. and i always say yes, so y does he keep asking me?

i kind of get the feeling that he made up his mind a long time ago that i wasnt "the one" so whenever sumthing is going good between us, he delibritaly destroys it, syaing sumthing dumb to piss me off, so i will fight with him, and then he can say: it will never work with us.

all the signs r telln me to give up, but signs r also telln me to keep trying, that maybe hes just scared.

WHAT signs are telling you to keep trying?!?!?!?!?

gut feeling.
and the fact that whenever sumthing good happens between us, he says all this really nice stuff and will say things like he did miss me, but he doesnt want to seem too vulnerable.
and then like the next day, or some time later he says sumthign so out fo the blue and unclaled for... it feels so forced, liek hes doing that all on purpose.

fiddlesticks...
i know this is gonna sound strange, but my ex cancer guy (14 yrs married to him) would try and pull the mental abuse thing on me from time to time..if i asked nicely for him to stop or ignored it, it only got worse. if i shot back or did something to make a believer out of him, he would stop.
Lil.ladie.taurus.. no one can tell you to leave until you are ready to, but there is a reason everyone here is...think about that.