WHY IS LOVE SO HARD— People ask....

NEWSFLASH: Love isn't hard at all.....its just that most people are generally guilty of one or more of the following:

1) Ignoring reality and trying to force relationships that should have never been with people that they are attracted to but not compatible with.

2) Dysfunctional people bringing their frustrating and sabotaging dysfunction adn bad childhood into their relationships

3) Don't really want a relationship (or not ready for it) but refuse to be up front with relationship-oriented people about this because they like the attention.

4) Take who they have for granted feeling that there is something that they are missing when all of the people that they are lusting after and dreaming about are just as ed up as the person they are already with.

Ta-da!!! The problem isn't love at all....its sick, stupid, and damaged people...

number 1.. veryy true

i think i am going to print that up and put it in a frame🙂

hm. i disagree. love is very hard, ESPECIALLY making it last. what you're describing seems to be more aimed at infatuations, lust and shorter-termed relationships that would not qualify as "love" in the traditional sense of connection. ask most married people that have been together for 10+ years and i'll bet every one of them will tell you it's hard, and it's a lot of work.

and in regards to number 2, that's not an easy thing to overcome... you're talking about a huge, integral part of who we are--our personal experiences, and our childhood specifically, shape who we are--we can't simply turn that off and make hunky dory.

i do agree with number 4 though, but that's just a sign of immaturity and inexperience.

That's like saying learning astro physics is easy once you've got an enormous IQ. The fact is most of us don't have a massive IQ and most of us - in fact ALL of us have emotional hang ups and problems stemming from childhood. It's pretty much paar for the course.

very insightful fiddlesticks. I only beg to disagree on one point you made...

"ask most married people that have been together for 10+ years and i'll bet every one of them will tell you it's hard, and it's a lot of work."

is it the LOVE that's hard— Or is it the PEOPLE who make it hard with the things they do (or don't do?? e.g. lacking communication, dishonesty, not activiely listening, having their lover suffer the same thing over and over when they've requested that they stop, etc)

Just because someone has been in a long-term relationship doesn't mean they don't make the same mistakes as anyone else....they've just worked out a way to stay in longer....then some people are just clingy and will stay in a miserable relationship for years or even decades just to not be alone. I'm not impressed with that.

what're you getting at, making a loving relationship work or love itself? love is an abstract idea that we identify in terms of actions. if we're discussing whether it is easy or difficult, we can only use one meaning.. if it's just the "feeling" of love, then love is neither hard nor easy because it is based on ourselves and we don't have to conform to any outside influence--i.e., i could "love" a woman that doesn't know i love her or doesn't feel the same, and that's just as easy as pie. a feeling itself is not going to be (in my opinion) able to be classified as difficult or easy.

but it seems more that we're discussing whether a love relationship is easy or difficult... in which case, communication, childhood experiences, and honesty/dishonesty all combine to whether or not the relationship works, in which case it is not easy. the relationships that work are going to be difficult in the long run, be it money, children, communication, sex, whatever.. the success of the relationship is going to be dependent on so many factors, and on the proactive parts of each partner, and on top of that it's still a crapshoot half the time.

but if we're just saying whether the feeling of love is easy or difficult, i'd say it's subjective and cannot be classified across the board as either or.

well said

Moon,

u have a lot going thru ur mind huh....all the reason for u to go on that medication

LMAO@LS! Theres something wrong with you LS. LOL!!!!

my two cents on this is that love isn't hard.....life is hard and when you love someone nothing is HARD because you're happy just to be shring the good AND the bad times with them.....

I'm talking about anti-pyschotic medication

please Moon...go see a doctor. Tell him to give u Risperdal or Zyprexa

I'm not joking...u cancers need to be medicated

Notso,

I'm hoping she gets them so she can slip me a few pills

lol...i hit a weak spot?

seriously though Moon, I know sometimes u wish u were on medication...with all those thoughts and emotions running thru u

"sometimes they don't even work"

lol the good ones do...the zombie effect