The Dance of the Cancer/Taurus (Page 5)

I'll stick with my whiskey thank you very much -0 I just went out for drinks with a coworker and the bartender told her REAL WOMEN drink whiskey HA!

lol I've never drank whiskey and for some reason I've been on this "must drink water" thing, if I went to a bar I'd probably order a water with lemon then some pineapple juice...which is funny because MY Cancer (just gotta put that out into the universe and make it so) drinks beer with breakfast.

Are Cancers usually nervous, shifty eyed folks? I still can't get over how nervous the man seems around me.

Hi SF! Yes we get a bit nervous around people we really like. We can't look you in the eye really. We'll give you a quick eye and when you make solid contact we'll look away or look down.

Oh and I'm a Wine drinker myself.

lol thank you CL, I didnt know what to make of it. Its kinda cute because this guy sometimes very confident...but when I'm looking at him he's so shy/restless/nervous. Sometimes it makes me wonder if he's being sincere. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm being too assertive and I back down a bit. But it seems like he's more comfortable approaching touchy subjects if I get firm and really let him know I want to discuss it.

Yes we lean on you bull for the directness. We can't do it.

Thanks, that gives me some clarification.

Gotta love having a cancer to share with *tossing lovies* yayyyyyyyyy

*Tosses love* Too

yeah u see told ya to be firm,back to u xangelfish cum look a big hug wooo u smell ike roses. GUess u um geared up to seduce me huh huh.lol. Yah but glad things starting to look on the up and up .ANd if u wanna hear music from my country look no further than torontolime.com and listen to the new soca. IS carnival time time is time to wine wine.lol CUm xangelfish would u wine fuh me.

awww..... I missed all the lovies :0(

lol - BK you are such a flirt....it's okay though - I need some love ;0)

where are you from again BK ? I have some friends from trinidad - rum punch mmmmm.....

Hay Yall, these crazy storms knocked my connection out, but the day was wonderful. I asked Mr.C on a date and he said yes, he also said he would give me some time and a chance to go for what I want (HIM). Im glad that things are finally moving forward and I'm glad that I have this new understanding that I HAVE to step up to let him know I want him and that he wont take advantage of me feeling that way, its just hard for him to move forward with me without being sure I feel that way. lol I've also learned not to complain about when things happen because they obviously arent happening in my time and there is nothing I can do to change the time in which they happen. I do like rum cake and rice n peas, some curry goat and pineapple juice....BK hook me up Bebe!!

Wow thats great SF!! Glad to hear that the dance is going smoothly. Have fun on your date and don't hold back emotionally. Thats what he wants from you and when he gets it you'll get it right back remember that.

Im definitely ready to put it out there, now that I know he's receptive to it. Im so satisfied right now.

Feels good doesn't it?! I remember when I was finally at peace with knowing how my bull felt about me, it wasn't no other feeling better at that time. This is only the begining, its going to get even better, just continue to be open so you can receive it. The universe will handle everything for you, don't you worry. Relax and enjoy the music as you dance.

Thats exactly how i feel. its obvious things arent happening in my time so I'm not even going to worry about what happens when. I have a good feeling it will happen.

Thats good stay positive.

I might have posted this question on the board before, but there are a couple new Cancers so Im going to ask again. If it seems like this Cancer guy is trying to throw out points of conversation to get a reaction of jealousy, argument, or possessiveness out of me...is that most likely what he's doing? I wont lie, most of the time I catch it in retrospect and realize the reason he goes cold on me is because I didnt get emotionally stirred by some small detail he "let slip". For example I called him the other day and it was obvious that he was sleep. So I skipped asking what he's doing and asked how he's doing and he said "laying here sleep...with my homegirl". Now I know I could have gotten jealous, he probably wanted me to, but instead I was just like "oh ok, well go back to sleep and call me when you get up". Its not that I dont care about him being sleep with some girl (home or otherwise), but I have male friends at whos places I crash myself. I trust him so I dont feel there's any need to be jealous, but I think he wants me to get crazy jealous to make him feel wanted. Then its the calling thing, sometimes I think he doesnt call me just so I will go off on him about not calling me and when I dont go off he concludes that I never really wanted him to call. I dont want him to think these things so I make a point ,after I come to the realization, to let him know I did want him to call or I dont like what he's doing, but its still more talk than emotion....is this the ultimate reason he thinks Im uninterested?

Yes! We go by actions and not words. Depending on what you did and how we emotionally felt about your actions is how we will responce. We think the worse before we think the positive. So if aren't calling we assume you are spending your time with someone else or just don't want to talk to us. If we give you bate, like he did with the homegirl thing its to see your reaction and see if you will or won't care. Cancer like to be pursued and feel like we're the most important person to you. We love attention from our S.O. Too much is never enough we love it always. Usually when we start giving out bate its because we think there could be someone else and in that case we want to let you know that if you are involved with someone else also we are too when we probably are not, we don't want you to feel you are the only one if we don't feel like we are. The way we feel is the way we will try and make you feel. So if he's talking about him having homegirls he's really thinking she must have other guys so let me let her know that I have other girls as well. With regards to calling if he feels you aren't calling him enough then he's not going to call you and if its been to long he'll call because he's still interested but he'll try and nitpick to see why haven't you called then decides how he feels about whatever your excuse was and react from there.

Im not saying this is a bad thing. People feel wanted and needed in different ways, and being so emotional I imagine he would want me to be emotional for him...just in past relationships I was told to be less emotional so gradually that's what I became. He's worth it for me to give him my emotions, I trust him so I know he wont take advantage of it, its just that it would be a change for me and its going to be a slow conscious effort at first. Of course he hasn't said directly "I need an emotional response from you" but would it be ok for me to let him know that I understand what he is asking me for and explain to him why Im not so good at it and how I feel about it?

No I wouldn't. Thats a bit too direct and we're not good talking about how we're feeling emotionally. We don't ever want to TELL you if we don't have too. We feel like thats giving you to much power. We leave it up to our actions and you just have to pay attention to them and what their saying. Just start doing more. Calling, being sweet, giving compliments, things like that but leave the emotional talk out of it. When he's ready to express himself emotionally he will and you have to SHOW him that you understand not tell him.

I do all those things, but I really think he thinks they're just me running game because he cant gauge my tone or even when he can gauge the tone but Im not emotionally responsive he doesnt believe Im sincere. I just want to clear the air and let him know "I KNOW you want my emotions and I will give them to you, but I've gotten used to keeping my emotions to myself so it might be a little slow at first for me to really put it out there, but its there, dont ever feel its not there. Sometimes its easier for me to play cool, calm, and collected when that isnt anywhere near how Im feeling, Im just kinda scared he's going to see me as too emotional and dramatic (must be the Capricorn moon)

The bull playing cool, calm, and collected when that isn't how you'll are feeling I know all too well lol. But if you want to tell him wait until you'll are together face to face, that way he can look at you and see if he feels you are sincere and read your body language, but don't say anything over the phone and don't say too much in person just a little bit. You don't want to back him into a corner thinking he has to poor out his emotions when I'm sure he isn't ready to do that.

Ok, that is good advice. I did ask him to come see me and I already was thinking it would be a better face to face convo. I can do that, maybe I'll just say "I know you want my emotions,you already have them. Ill stop holding them in"

Sounds good to me.

I'm sooooo in love with my Taurus! Just wanted to say that.

lol nothing wrong with professing it. I hope you let him know that too. We like to know we are wanted, oh and dont feel bad to let him know he's yours...we like titles and being possessed (not controlling, but just to be claimed and held on to).

I took your advice and instead of offering an explanation about how I felt about the things he did (sleeping at the friend's and not calling) I showed him how I was feeling, I was emotional but non confrontational and I got more convo out of him than I have in a long time.

It's crazy because I really thought about it and we both have the tendency to act robotic about things and when I look at it we both respond to a robotic response WITH a robotic response. So I guess it goes to say that when if the Taurus or Cancer wants a free, lively, passionate uninhibited dance that is how they must dance...now who the lead will be depends on who has the most heart. I'd like to say its going to be the Taurus, but I can't speak for everyone.

Hi SF! Exactly you got it! Well when it comes to having the most heart I think it will be pretty much a tie between Taurus and Cancer. Once Cancer lets their guard down the love flows like a river with waves of an ocean and when the Taurus guard is down you capture your mate and isn't willing to let them go for anything or anyone. So it measures up about the same just from different aproaches

"the love flows like a river with waves of an ocean"

I WANT that kind of love!!

You'll get it just continue to be patient, its coming.

*sitting patiently waiting for the dam to break*

He is neither scared nor oblivious. Those are excuses *you* have made for him.

If a person wants to call you, s/he will. If a man wants to see you, he will find a way to do just that. It isn't an unsolved mystery. No codes to be cracked.

Ummm not everyone operates like a scorp!

lol Superior (self appointed no doubt)I appreciate your insight, but the last person I would take advice from concerning relationships is a Scorpio. Although yall might be very direct, up and at'em ya'll arent shall I say...very empathetic, sympathetic, or flexible in thought. I do appreciate the differences between a Scorpio mind and a Cancer mind tho.

And those aren't excuses, those things are the outcome of the chemistry that we have as individuals trying to work together not knowing where the other is coming from. And to insinuate that I "made" these excuses for him is a product of your own assumption. Just because you would "make" excuses for someone in this situation doesnt meant everyone else would.

I know reading through 276 messages can be tedious, but reading at least the first page can be helpful when responding to a topic.

Hey, I just tell it like it is, lovelies.

But, I understand that preservation of ego is a fundamental human motivation. However it is you achieve that- more powah to ya! 😉

Cheers

Hi SF! How have things been?

what does ego have to do with it, though I can understand how a Scorpio would find some way to interject it into the conversation. If this was about ego I would have since moved on to settling for easy come easy go.

Things are going as they usually go CL, slowly and deliberately. I still feel very patient tho trying to keep the balance between letting him know I do want him but not smothering him (in my opinion). Its funny because if I ask him he'd probably say Im still too distant lol.

lol Yes he probably would. Any dates to look forward too or will he be busy for a lil while?

I dont know, our schedules kind of clash. He works heavy over the weekend and I work heavy during the week nights, he gets up at the crack of dawn and I go to sleep at the crack of dawn. Our time together is always kind of spontaneous like "oh I have a moment do you" "yes I have a moment lets make it happen" lol. I know he's looking for a moment to make it happen because he gave his word and he always keeps it or gives me double for the trouble.

Yes we mean what we say and if we plan something we'll do whatever we have to do to make it happen. Well seem like all is well. How long have you'll been having this dance?

we met back in December 06, but we were just friend until June when I finally got sick and tired of my ex, so since then its been about 4, almost 5 months

Oh ok very fresh then.

Yeah, thats the main reason in my opinion that his apprehension is completely understandable. He doesnt know me nearly as well as I know myself and 1. he's going to need time to get to know me and 2.he has to decide he's ready to change his life for a relationship

lol Superior (self appointed no doubt)I appreciate your insight, but the last person I would take advice from concerning relationships is a Scorpio.

The worst type of people to take relationship advice from:

1. Black/white thinkers. (It's either this or that and nothing else)
2. People who've never been in a relationship before.
3. Someone who has more failed relationships than successful ones. (This type gives the worst advice)

I have been in relationships with Scorpio(s) before whether platonic or more and it doesn't seem like they know a whole lot about actual relationships, seems to me they just know about doing whatever it takes to get what they want and playing the victim when they don't get it. If I was trying to get with a Scorpio Superiors advice would be right on point so its not all bad, it just doesnt fit in this situation. 🙂