URGENT: Need Aid from CANCER Men

FACT BACKGROUN😱
He lives in Ireland, I live in Canada. We met here while he was on his work Visa.
He's my best friend's boyfriend's friend.
We met when I had a BF, we broke up, we met again at his going away party. (Balls.)
We made out, we kept in touch since June of this year. Messaging on FB, Skyping, etc.

I was presented with a biz opportunity in Switzerland for a weekend. So i added a trip to Dublin afterwards, since I was already going to be across the pond.
Long story short, everything changed so fast. I was accepted to a Masters program in Dublin, classes begin in Jan, I cancelled my trip to Switz, am going just to Dublin for a week in Dec, and then moving there to do my Masters in Jan.

RELATIONSHIP BACKGROUN😱
He always sends me lovely messages, postcards, tells his friends about me and how hes excited that im going there. He's planning a trip to some castle (its a surprise).
Anyway, point is,.. hes all romantically up in my grill. He doesnt pressure me to do sexy things on skype, rather im way more the horny one telling him to strip! Hahaha.
He sends me songs when i have a bad day, and he messages me even after going to the bar with his buddies.. and once he even called me from the bar and passed the phone around while all his friends took turns saying theyre excited to meet me and how much my Cancer man loves me. lol.

THE PROBLEM:
I'm damnnn organized. I want everything in perfect order so going on this trip to see this guy on the other side of the world is already giving me a heart attack, NOT to mention I am MOVING and UPROOTING my life to MOVE there & he will be the ONLY person I know in Dublin. Also, I'm extremely good at separating sex and emotion with guys... but i feel a lot for him, im not sure ill be able too

He has been distant the last few days, and he sometimes forgets to call or is weird. He'll tell me hell skype me, then he wont... or hell forget becayse Champion's League is on, or whatever. Also, once we skyped and he was so distant. after we got off the comp, he sent me a Facebook message apologizing for his behaviour and that hell be in better form next time.

Next, he has kind of a f*cked of fam situation. he hates his Mom & had to meet with her yesterday, we had plans to skype... no call, no msg, nothing.
WTF ——— HELP.

LLL -

I just found $ .02 in the couch so I thought I'd give them to you:

The fantasy is soon to become a REALITY and now he's in panic mode. Btw, there will be nothing you can do to stop it 😢 If you want him, you have to be consistent and there even when he's not. Don't stir up anything, or that will cause panic overload. Just keep on truckin' and act as if everything is cool. He will need that strength of yours to shine through.

hmmm... 20 something Irish man (i'm assuming), I know a thing or two about those young bloods 🙂

let me start anyway by saying, don't worry about him being the only one you know - as a student in Ireland and especially Dublin, you will very very quickly know too many people, it's party town and the culture is indeed one of work hard play hard, friends are very easily made, at your age large groups heading out on the town 3/4 times a week, hope you have the energy . You will be instantly introduced to and accepted by his group of friends, you already are and don't even know it. Irish men, and women, enter into relationships very easily and they tend not to be short term ones, we don't really operate from fear in this respect, I never understand when I read you guys from US and Canada talking about making your relationship official, or exclusive, or monogamous dating - its a given here (not saying cheating doesn't happen though), so he's not exactly afraid of the fact you are coming over, we are a very laid back people, so the fact you are coming from Canada probably isn't fazing him at all, though I could be wrong.

something to be aware of, and you have already had a taste of this - champions league 😉 or indeed any sporting fixture that involves group gatherings, preferably in the pub, will have your man in its grips. Either join in or don't complain, they WILL follow the league, with their mates, down the pub, you do not have an option or say in this. Your best bet is to join in, its a great day and night out. Calling from the bar with all their mates, that's just what they do - it's normal behaviour and you'll get used to it, eye rolling really, a few pints before/during/after the match and everyone's girl is up for a phonecall if he isn't going to be seeing her later (later could be after pub closing and meeting up in the nightclub), if she's not there and not a pain in the ass in general.

The romantic stuff he does, well these Irish men are good in relationships, they also find it very easy to talk to women, watch this if you are a jealous sort, we are brought up in Ireland, as its a very small country, having friends of both sexes and he probably has a lot of women friends. They can be smooth operators - with that comes all the risks and delights of charm and smoothness, Irish guy style , its good and bad!

Can I ask, what college are you going to be studying at and what town is your man from?

One thing a Cancer man appreciates is steadfast and tenderness. If he is being weird, just work through it, Cancers are super introverted. Libra and Cancer can have incredible moments, but outgoing Libra will always be frustrated by the unrelentingly shy Cancer moods. It wont just stop, this is how it is, however it will get way easier for him after his many moods and settle around trusting that you will be there when they have passed. Just stay the course and be patient. Nothing holds on stronger than a Cancer ONCE THEY SETTLE IN. Your good, just be cool and don't get all weird girly on him. And don't be a bitch when he is having a hard time expressing, it is harder than you will ever understand to get through a moment of emotionality for a cancer. There is a cost for all of that incredibleness he makes you feel.

Cancerian men are shit 🙂

he definitely likes you...but may not be sure of it! wait..i m being indecisive now..just like him! lol

actually speaking hes playing mind games with you..dont worry we cancer men do that to test our potential partners whether they are possessive or how much they love us...we like giving a bit of pain to someone to flatter ourselves with attention. a bit of sadistic behaviour but inside us there is only love! he likes you a lot..and you are a lucky girl!

Posted by Sola
Cancerian men are shit 🙂

hahaha

Posted by krebbsmann
actually speaking hes playing mind games with you..dont worry we cancer men do that to test our potential partners whether they are possessive or how much they love us...we like giving a bit of pain to someone to flatter ourselves with attention. a bit of sadistic behaviour but inside us there is only love! he likes you a lot..and you are a lucky girl!

I have read your thread with interest. I too am involved with a Cancerian and it boggles the mind. He is, I think the most introverted person I have ever met, his gestures of affection do not translate into words. He will spontaneously hug me, kiss me, kiss my fingers, but he won't say anything that would signal any commitment., except one evening when we had drunk too much wine, he called me ' His Darling, Darling Girl, and that I was so lovely' it confuses the hell out of me. I have read that Cancerian behaviour can sometimes be bipolar and whilst they expect a consistency and steadfastness from us they can blow hot and cold!! So I am concluding that the sadistic mind games are to achieve a constant validation of how serious we are— I don't even know this guy likes me well I think he does but I'm so confused which is very difficult for a Gemini like me as I'm a communicator and I would like to be more open with him but I feel I have to hold back and wait for him to make that move - it's a torment to say the least - as I sometimes wonder if I am being played or just a fwb?? We have great chemistry, he has told me this but when I say something that is affectionate like I will miss him he does'nt respond with anything ————
Q? IS THIS NORMAL KREBBSMANN - or I am being deluded??

@sophiagem

i was involved with a gem girl once...she used to hurt me with her directness and her coldness...(gems arent exactly emotional)..i used to wait for her to apologise which she used to...coz she was intuitive... she used to ask me like "are you angry with me? " then i used to tell her and she used to say sorry.... maybe ur cancer man has been hurt by you maybe accidently about something u said or did..—? because in all earnest if we love someone we are head over heels in love! we will shower u with compliments or gift u with something u like... if hes not replying hes either hurt and waiting for u to apologise or he maynot be that into you...either of the cases. but i feel apart from your emo coldness gems are fantastic people to be around. u should talk to him face to face and sort it out...anyways thats what a gem will do.. lemme know how it goes!goodluck! cheerio!

Posted by krebbsmann
@sophiagem

i was involved with a gem girl once...she used to hurt me with her directness and her coldness...(gems arent exactly emotional)..i used to wait for her to apologise which she used to...coz she was intuitive... she used to ask me like "are you angry with me? " then i used to tell her and she used to say sorry.... maybe ur cancer man has been hurt by you maybe accidently about something u said or did..—? because in all earnest if we love someone we are head over heels in love! we will shower u with compliments or gift u with something u like... if hes not replying hes either hurt and waiting for u to apologise or he maynot be that into you...either of the cases. but i feel apart from your emo coldness gems are fantastic people to be around. u should talk to him face to face and sort it out...anyways thats what a gem will do.. lemme know how it goes!goodluck! cheerio!

Yes well it's a long story, he did that Cancer thing when we first met - he was confused - however he had never felt so drawn to someone or liked someone so much so quickly - then he said we would'nt work - he did'nt want to hurt me (read my thread on Confused over Cancer) then we started just communicating then I lobbed a grenade into the mix by saying I did'nt want to be 'just' his friend !! PLEASE READ THREAD FOR MORE INFORMATION

I think you are maybe right about him 'not being into me' but why the displays of affection ?? I think he is emotionally unavailable to me - however this is slightly contradictory if you say that Cancerians like to play mind games, but if we love you we show you in a big way - which is it ?? BTW I have not been insensitive to him in anyway I believe I have been very supportive and affectionate and responsive towards him - what else does he need ??

Should I just move on and let him 'process' however if I don't contact him he contacts me ?? Am I OK ?? etc., WTF I've got alot of other things I need to deal with in my life right now that I need to focus on so I really do need clarity as I want so much to have someone special in my life and I hoped it was him, but if it is not then I will be very sad but ......

@ sophiagem

hmm...i can understand you. you know maybe hes feeling having a relationship with you will be too much for him right now...maybe hes got too much on his plate...so let him go his way right now( we dont like to be hassled or hurried)..though watch out for the toneof the conversation now.if its getting normal and mundane then thats exit time! if he is flirting then think that you just have to wait for the right moment when hes ready!(if you want that ...that is). gems are busy people right..leave him to his thoughts now and get on with your life! who knows...maybe a little hard to get will do your wish! :p ;p chill! if he loves you ..he will move heaven and earth to be with you! cheerio!