SelenaKyle
@justagirl
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Cap has cheated, fuming, really need some advice!! (Page 2)
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Posted by champrangerIf he was gone for a month, than it is perfectly possible he went to germany and to greece as well. Lots of low fair airlines flights from germany, he could do a day-trip even🙂 depending where his family lives in germany and where the ex is living in greecePosted by Pandora101He's going to likely able to anticipate this question. This is what he told OP. He's gone for a month. It's only natural that she would ask about his trip out of care and curiosity, no?Posted by champrangerI think I would ask questions about his trip to Germany and his family and asking for particulars, like how was the flight or what cost is the ticket or where there went....... and closely watch his reactions and the ease how he is reacting..... I would not tell that I know about Greece and the ex..... or is it possible he went to Germany and Greece, so not lying per se, just not telling the whole truth?
The point is ... although the Cap is likely guilty, if OP isn't careful and have all of her arguments backed with support, she might end up shooting herself in the foot because of how she found out. Aries (unless they have a lot of earth or water) tends wants to confront and find the truth so it's likely she will want to bring it up to him somehow.
IMO
click to expand
And yes, maybe he was just doing a last "farewell" meeting up, before he would take his relationship with the OP on the next level? From his behaviour now the OP can deduct, if the trip was "love is still there" or if it was "I finally come to terms with my ex)
Posted by justagirlyou ask: what is so hard to understand that a lie is a lie periodPosted by Pandora101partial lie is still a lie, lie by omission is still a lie...Posted by champrangerI think I would ask questions about his trip to Germany and his family and asking for particulars, like how was the flight or what cost is the ticket or where there went....... and closely watch his reactions and the ease how he is reacting..... I would not tell that I know about Greece and the ex..... or is it possible he went to Germany and Greece, so not lying per se, just not telling the whole truth?
The point is ... although the Cap is likely guilty, if OP isn't careful and have all of her arguments backed with support, she might end up shooting herself in the foot because of how she found out. Aries (unless they have a lot of earth or water) tends wants to confront and find the truth so it's likely she will want to bring it up to him somehow.
IMO
what is so hard to understand that a lie is a lie period.
Also would like to add Not telling someone something to "spare them" is a bunch of bs we tell ourself so WE (figurative we) do not feel bad, has nothing to do with the other person.
I get what some of you are saying about she needs to find out facts.. but why are so many willing to overlook that fact that he is being deceitful just as the OP is.. there is NO trust within this relationship... who wants that type of relationship?
click to expand
For you, others may have different tolerance level.......
Posted by champrangeryou know, its funny, I just wrote to somebody that evryone has a different level of tolerance.... My tolerance would end at not beeing able to know details about his time with family.... if he would claim he is not ready to open up that much about himself (about his family and germany trip) after 8 months together, this would be worst for me, then this "lying or not lying" thingPosted by Pandora101Also, I don't think you'll be able to ask too much in particular without running into a privacy issue (since this is about his time with his family), and he may claim that he's not ready to open that much about himself, yet.Posted by champrangerI think I would ask questions about his trip to Germany and his family and asking for particulars, like how was the flight or what cost is the ticket or where there went....... and closely watch his reactions and the ease how he is reacting..... I would not tell that I know about Greece and the ex..... or is it possible he went to Germany and Greece, so not lying per se, just not telling the whole truth?
The point is ... although the Cap is likely guilty, if OP isn't careful and have all of her arguments backed with support, she might end up shooting herself in the foot because of how she found out. Aries (unless they have a lot of earth or water) tends wants to confront and find the truth so it's likely she will want to bring it up to him somehow.
IMO
click to expand
Posted by Pandora101To steal Tiz's line.. Fair enough!Posted by justagirlyou ask: what is so hard to understand that a lie is a lie periodPosted by Pandora101partial lie is still a lie, lie by omission is still a lie...Posted by champrangerI think I would ask questions about his trip to Germany and his family and asking for particulars, like how was the flight or what cost is the ticket or where there went....... and closely watch his reactions and the ease how he is reacting..... I would not tell that I know about Greece and the ex..... or is it possible he went to Germany and Greece, so not lying per se, just not telling the whole truth?
The point is ... although the Cap is likely guilty, if OP isn't careful and have all of her arguments backed with support, she might end up shooting herself in the foot because of how she found out. Aries (unless they have a lot of earth or water) tends wants to confront and find the truth so it's likely she will want to bring it up to him somehow.
IMO
what is so hard to understand that a lie is a lie period.
Also would like to add Not telling someone something to "spare them" is a bunch of bs we tell ourself so WE (figurative we) do not feel bad, has nothing to do with the other person.
I get what some of you are saying about she needs to find out facts.. but why are so many willing to overlook that fact that he is being deceitful just as the OP is.. there is NO trust within this relationship... who wants that type of relationship?
For you, others may have different tolerance level.......click to expand
Well, I confronted him
Today, and told him I knew he went to Greece, due to seeing pictures on his phone.
My cap has been looking to move abroad for a while ( something he didn't fill me in on until last week tuesday) , he doesn't feel happy living in London, and he wants a change of job/pace of life. He had been feeling to go to either Italy Spain or Greece. So when I confronted him he told me he didn't know how to tell me without me automatically assuming it was her he was going to see, and he was worried about hurting me. (Truecap, some truth in what you said!)
I explained to him that if he had come to me and spoken to me about it ,while I might have had wanted some reassurance it wasn't for her, I would have probably been fine, to find out this way is much much worse.
He didn't see her for the first few days he was there, because she was working, but them and friends did go out on Friday night ( must have been the pictures I saw)
He got quite upset while we were talking. He said he felt like I understood him better than most, even his own family, that I knew how he was feeling and he felt very open with me.
I'm very glad we had the chat and cleared the air... But regardless or anything if he gets the job offer in Greece, he will go.
I don't doubt he doesn't care for me. I understand that if you don't feel happy somewhere you need to make the change, I would never ask him to stay because of me, that would be selfish
Today, and told him I knew he went to Greece, due to seeing pictures on his phone.
My cap has been looking to move abroad for a while ( something he didn't fill me in on until last week tuesday) , he doesn't feel happy living in London, and he wants a change of job/pace of life. He had been feeling to go to either Italy Spain or Greece. So when I confronted him he told me he didn't know how to tell me without me automatically assuming it was her he was going to see, and he was worried about hurting me. (Truecap, some truth in what you said!)
I explained to him that if he had come to me and spoken to me about it ,while I might have had wanted some reassurance it wasn't for her, I would have probably been fine, to find out this way is much much worse.
He didn't see her for the first few days he was there, because she was working, but them and friends did go out on Friday night ( must have been the pictures I saw)
He got quite upset while we were talking. He said he felt like I understood him better than most, even his own family, that I knew how he was feeling and he felt very open with me.
I'm very glad we had the chat and cleared the air... But regardless or anything if he gets the job offer in Greece, he will go.
I don't doubt he doesn't care for me. I understand that if you don't feel happy somewhere you need to make the change, I would never ask him to stay because of me, that would be selfish
And also just to clarify, he went for 6 days to Greece not a month! 🙂
So, how do you feel about the lie now?
Posted by EllentheariesThank you for acknowledging that.
(Truecap, some truth in what you said!)
Posted by truecapDont get me wrong I was so angry he lied and I made that clear to him. But if his reasoning was because he didn't want to upset me, and it was purely to see how he would feel being in Greece, I can understand more. I just wish he had talked to me about it.
So, how do you feel about the lie now?
Posted by EllentheariesTotally understandable. I'm glad you were able to talk to him about it.Posted by truecapDont get me wrong I was so angry he lied and I made that clear to him. But if his reasoning was because he didn't want to upset me, and it was purely to see how he would feel being in Greece, I can understand more. I just wish he had talked to me about it.
So, how do you feel about the lie now?click to expand
Posted by Pandora101+1Posted by champrangerI think I would ask questions about his trip to Germany and his family and asking for particulars, like how was the flight or what cost is the ticket or where there went....... and closely watch his reactions and the ease how he is reacting..... I would not tell that I know about Greece and the ex..... or is it possible he went to Germany and Greece, so not lying per se, just not telling the whole truth?
The point is ... although the Cap is likely guilty, if OP isn't careful and have all of her arguments backed with support, she might end up shooting herself in the foot because of how she found out. Aries (unless they have a lot of earth or water) tends wants to confront and find the truth so it's likely she will want to bring it up to him somehow.
IMO
click to expand
Posted by EllentheariesSo wait are you staying with him? And you believe what he told you?Posted by truecapDont get me wrong I was so angry he lied and I made that clear to him. But if his reasoning was because he didn't want to upset me, and it was purely to see how he would feel being in Greece, I can understand more. I just wish he had talked to me about it.
So, how do you feel about the lie now?click to expand
Then to top it off, he told you that he is unhappy where he is with his new girl (you) but would be happier in Greece where his ex is, and if the opportunity presented itself he would leave.
I'm sorry sis but you deserve better this man doesn't sound like he is serious about u, just a someone to pass the time.
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what is so hard to understand that a lie is a lie period.
Also would like to add Not telling someone something to "spare them" is a bunch of bs we tell ourself so WE (figurative we) do not feel bad, has nothing to do with the other person.
I get what some of you are saying about she needs to find out facts.. but why are so many willing to overlook that fact that he is being deceitful just as the OP is.. there is NO trust within this relationship... who wants that type of relationship?