Cappies.. Breaking off all Contact suddenly?

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MariatheCappy36
@KrissyTheCappy36
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 85 · Topics: 16
Am I the only one who when once betrayed past the point of no return will just cut that person off— I'll just stop responding and it's like that person is just talking to themselves because I don't respond I don't answer texts or calls I just vanish.... Do you other cappies do this?? Do you think it's harsh? I think when I get pushed to that point...that person deserves it. Yes it's cruel and kind of harsh but I feel like I have been betrayed or hurt in the worst way so its justified. However, I never get real closure by doing this and am left struggling on the inside to get over it..but I will never return back to that person no matter how bad I miss them or how bad it hurts. Do you know what I'm talking about caps?
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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Yes. When I was younger especially. As I got older I learned to be more direct about why I'm cutting them off.

Sometimes, depending on who they are (family, old friends) if they leave me alone, I'll come around and at least be civil, even friendly maybe, though I won't trust them anymore.
If they push enough, I'll get pissed off and firmly, coldly tell them exactly why I'm done. That's when I'm really done.



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truecap
@truecap
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Posted by LibraLovesHim
I dont find it cruel or harsh. Its straight forward. Black and white. At least theres no guessing. Ya gone, ya gone! I do however find mind games, coming and going cruel and harsh.
I don't understand why women tolerate the mind games and the coming and going behavior. I feel like if someone does that, they're really not into you.
If someone comes and goes, then they just might as well go because I'm not playing that game.
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StingTailedLibra
@LibraLovesHim
9 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by truecap
Posted by LibraLovesHim
I dont find it cruel or harsh. Its straight forward. Black and white. At least theres no guessing. Ya gone, ya gone! I do however find mind games, coming and going cruel and harsh.
I don't understand why women tolerate the mind games and the coming and going behavior. I feel like if someone does that, they're really not into you.
If someone comes and goes, then they just might as well go because I'm not playing that game.
click to expand

Exactly
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underwaterthing
@underwaterthing
10 Years

Comments: 51 · Posts: 446 · Topics: 27
It's super immature and weak imo.
I've had him leave come back and loop back again after this. So I saw what was hiding behind that action...
And it was someone who was very afraid with very misdirected anger parading around as if they had no feelings when really...they were as scared as they come.

I don't care what sign you are, if you can't communicate you're silly. It's basic respect. Granted there are a few situations that warrant a cold drop out but Capricorns are overdramatic in this area.

It's rarely discussed, but it's also a power play and a need to be in control. I see that in Green Teas response so clearly.
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@_
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Posted by starwars
Posted by _
Posted by starwars
Posted by _
Posted by starwars
Posted by _
I dont understand the point to use saliva to someone who doesent worth it. just go die. and if you dont understand why we erased you, go die twice because you are stupid.
.
SO DAARKKKKK

IM JUST GONNA HURT YOU REALLLLYYYYYYYY BADDDDD WRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
lols you cant 😏

can i hug you at least ?
peu
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
To all the naysayers:

The question was if someone BETRAYED us. Trust is very, very high on the priority list for capricorns. Betrayal is the absolute worse thing you can do to a cap and if you betray us, you're no longer important to us. You're no longer in our inner circle.

Why should we feel bad about cutting someone out who's betrayed us? That person can no longer be trusted, therefore what's the point in continuing on with them. People don't change. If they betray you once, they'll do it again. Once the trust is broken, it can't be repaired. Sure with time, it might heal, but things will NEVER be the same.

A question for the naysayers:
Why would YOU keep someone around who's betrayed you?
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tcta
@tcta
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 3706 · Posts: 7112 · Topics: 18
Capricorn and Taurus both do this so I have a lot of that going on - sure, it's easy to say we are cowards but truly we don't give a rats ass what anyone else thinks - we know who we are, we know what we want, and we also know what we don't want. When we are done with someone that is it, it's just not in us to waste anymore time, breath, space, or thought on that person. Listing to someone trying to defend their awful behavior is like nails on a chalkboard to us. We don't care. We don't want to be associated with someone who would do this awful thing to begin with - there is no reason on this planet to do awful things. It means you just ain't right and we want to be surrounded by people like us who do the right things not the wrong things. Maybe it just comes down to tolerance and lack thereof for stupid shit.
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NostalgicCappy
@NostalgicCappy
10 Years1,000+ Posts

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Yes 100 % .

I learned at a very young age torely on myself Only, so I don’t take shit on any level from anyone. I’m a sweet person and I will give and give, but if you screw me over I will start to look at you completely different (literally and figuratively) and it kind of goes in stages. However, if you continuously upset or disappoint me and I reach the point where I’m done, then you’re done. It takes A LOT to get me to that point, but I have an ice heart in that instance, and you will be dust to me. Believe me when I say, that if it does reach that point then the person deserves it without a doubt.

I will say though, that when I feel that point approaching I will give you one more chance that is basically a test. Not an underhanded type of test but one that just hints to you that I know what’s up, all the while with my sweet innocent smile (now, make your move) then I sit back and wait, if you fail then that’s it. C-YA! I don't get attached to people or close enough to ever let emotions try to interfere.

I know I sound bad, and like a total bitch. It’s true I can be stuck-up and a mega bitch, but my genuine nature is one of a very sweet and warm woman who likes to lift others up and bring positiveness in your life. If you give me that respect back then you will never question how I feel about you because you’ll just know you’re in as my true friend, and if you are my special one then you’re my everything and I will give you everything.
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tcta
@tcta
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Posted by Cupid
You all talking about betrayal but could you give me your opinions whenever someone says pretty hurtful things to you! are you going to cut them off forever as well?

What if that person did it because they couldn't stand longer the imposed Radio silence (that you CAPs love to do)and wanted to get your attention or some kind of reaction to break the silence?

This is my case and I told my Cap terrible things, for him to be hurt as much as he is hurting me by constantly going and coming back or ignoring me for days then popping back ! He was furious , he said "delete my number, leave me alone" so I explained why I did it! He then said that this wasn't a good way of doing things and that he couldn't talk because he was working.

Would you cut off forever the person in that case? I have sent a long apology message, he read it which is good at least, well I think?

SO CAP are you only cutting off for betrayal or even also being hurt by words?


it's not the words, it's the action or lack of action or stupid stuff behind the words ... the words come after - trying to justify/explain the stupidity of the action which was the problem in the first place
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MariatheCappy36
@KrissyTheCappy36
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 85 · Topics: 16
Usually when I cut someone off like mentioned above already it has taken a LONG time to reach that point but when I do poof I'm gone and yeah..your dust. lol .

I only do this is if I feel you have betrayed me in the worst way and broken my trust and/or heart . If I feel I've been giving and giving and giving and you are just using me or taking advantage of me etc. then poof I will disappear. I value myself too much at that point to keep going any further and I feel comfortable doing it because like mentioned I've given my ALL to make it work already.
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MariatheCappy36
@KrissyTheCappy36
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 85 · Topics: 16
Posted by tcta
Posted by Cupid
You all talking about betrayal but could you give me your opinions whenever someone says pretty hurtful things to you! are you going to cut them off forever as well?

What if that person did it because they couldn't stand longer the imposed Radio silence (that you CAPs love to do)and wanted to get your attention or some kind of reaction to break the silence?

This is my case and I told my Cap terrible things, for him to be hurt as much as he is hurting me by constantly going and coming back or ignoring me for days then popping back ! He was furious , he said "delete my number, leave me alone" so I explained why I did it! He then said that this wasn't a good way of doing things and that he couldn't talk because he was working.

Would you cut off forever the person in that case? I have sent a long apology message, he read it which is good at least, well I think?

SO CAP are you only cutting off for betrayal or even also being hurt by words?


it's not the words, it's the action or lack of action or stupid stuff behind the words ... the words come after - trying to justify/explain the stupidity of the action which was the problem in the first place
click to expand

Yep !!
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NostalgicCappy
@NostalgicCappy
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 5 · Posts: 1384 · Topics: 18
Posted by KrissyTheCappy36
Usually when I cut someone off like mentioned above already it has taken a LONG time to reach that point but when I do poof I'm gone and yeah..your dust. lol .

I only do this is if I feel you have betrayed me in the worst way and broken my trust and/or heart . If I feel I've been giving and giving and giving and you are just using me or taking advantage of me etc. then poof I will disappear. I value myself too much at that point to keep going any further and I feel comfortable doing it because like mentioned I've given my ALL to make it work already.



Well said.
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truecap
@truecap
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Posted by Cupid
You all talking about betrayal but could you give me your opinions whenever someone says pretty hurtful things to you! are you going to cut them off forever as well?

The original question was about betrayal. That's what we're responding to.

Saying hurtful things is different. Though it hurts at the time, I'll go back and look at what they said. If there were truth to it, then I've learned what I need to learn, can do better and learn from it. We're good. If the things they say are not truthful, I just blow it off though I may be mad for a while, but we're still good.
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truecap
@truecap
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Posted by starwars
Posted by KrissyTheCappy36
Usually when I cut someone off like mentioned above already it has taken a LONG time to reach that point but when I do poof I'm gone and yeah..your dust. lol .
.
why do you bottle it up until you reach that point? why dont you be direct and get it out right away?
click to expand

I can't answer for Krissy, but I'll answer from my own experience. Usually, I say what I don't like and observe to see if the other person makes an effort. Yes, it takes a long time to reach that point. It's just if I mentioned something several times and nothing changes...well...they get chances. I'll only tolerate so much. So when I poof, it's not because it's sudden. It's thought out and only when I realize the other person isn't making an effort.
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truecap
@truecap
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Posted by Cupid
Posted by starwars
Posted by KrissyTheCappy36
Usually when I cut someone off like mentioned above already it has taken a LONG time to reach that point but when I do poof I'm gone and yeah..your dust. lol .
.
why do you bottle it up until you reach that point? why dont you be direct and get it out right away?
Exactly !!!

Well said Starwars!

Why don't you communicate with the other person and explain what they have done wrong instead of bottling it up? Communication is the key word for friendship and relationship!
click to expand

Because the other person ignores the communication and doesn't take it seriously.
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SofiaV87
@SofiaV87
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 3859 · Topics: 121
Posted by KrissyTheCappy36
Am I the only one who when once betrayed past the point of no return will just cut that person off— I'll just stop responding and it's like that person is just talking to themselves because I don't respond I don't answer texts or calls I just vanish.... Do you other cappies do this?? Do you think it's harsh? I think when I get pushed to that point...that person deserves it. Yes it's cruel and kind of harsh but I feel like I have been betrayed or hurt in the worst way so its justified. However, I never get real closure by doing this and am left struggling on the inside to get over it..but I will never return back to that person no matter how bad I miss them or how bad it hurts. Do you know what I'm talking about caps?
The Caps in my life or have been in my life are notorious for this. Not a Cap but I do cut people off past the point of no return. I have already expressed my feelings on whatever was going on. I'm not going to be a broken record. They can talk to themselves.
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truecap
@truecap
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by truecap
Posted by starwars
Posted by KrissyTheCappy36
Usually when I cut someone off like mentioned above already it has taken a LONG time to reach that point but when I do poof I'm gone and yeah..your dust. lol .
.
why do you bottle it up until you reach that point? why dont you be direct and get it out right away?
I can't answer for Krissy, but I'll answer from my own experience. Usually, I say what I don't like and observe to see if the other person makes an effort. Yes, it takes a long time to reach that point. It's just if I mentioned something several times and nothing changes...well...they get chances. I'll only tolerate so much. So when I poof, it's not because it's sudden. It's thought out and only when I realize the other person isn't making an effort.
You explained it way better than I did. Feel like we're all basically saying different versions of the same thing, but it's getting twisted to fit their narrative.
click to expand

Yes, we are all saying the same thing. And none of them came back to my question to them to explain why they wouldn't cut someone off who betrayed them.
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MariatheCappy36
@KrissyTheCappy36
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 85 · Topics: 16
Posted by truecap
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by truecap
Posted by starwars
Posted by KrissyTheCappy36
Usually when I cut someone off like mentioned above already it has taken a LONG time to reach that point but when I do poof I'm gone and yeah..your dust. lol .
.
why do you bottle it up until you reach that point? why dont you be direct and get it out right away?
I can't answer for Krissy, but I'll answer from my own experience. Usually, I say what I don't like and observe to see if the other person makes an effort. Yes, it takes a long time to reach that point. It's just if I mentioned something several times and nothing changes...well...they get chances. I'll only tolerate so much. So when I poof, it's not because it's sudden. It's thought out and only when I realize the other person isn't making an effort.
You explained it way better than I did. Feel like we're all basically saying different versions of the same thing, but it's getting twisted to fit their narrative.
Yes, we are all saying the same thing. And none of them came back to my question to them to explain why they wouldn't cut someone off who betrayed them.
click to expand

lol exactly because I feel like if someone betrayed them they would cut them off as well...it makes sense.
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Greentea
@Greentea
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Comments: 1 · Posts: 3848 · Topics: 46
Posted by underwaterthing
It's super immature and weak imo.
I've had him leave come back and loop back again after this. So I saw what was hiding behind that action...
And it was someone who was very afraid with very misdirected anger parading around as if they had no feelings when really...they were as scared as they come.

I don't care what sign you are, if you can't communicate you're silly. It's basic respect. Granted there are a few situations that warrant a cold drop out but Capricorns are overdramatic in this area.

It's rarely discussed, but it's also a power play and a need to be in control. I see that in Green Teas response so clearly.
It's not about control or a power play, it's the decision that they're not getting another ounce of anything from me amd sticking to it.. Done and done.
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iCloud9
@iCloud9
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on the contrary, i usually see capricorns staying too long when they should have been long gone. my bff and mom are not the types to cut people off. i did swim away suddenly (well, from another's perspective) a few times and i blame the water placements. pisces and scorpio placements especially. it would start as a self preservation act, and then apathy. i'd fundamentally change the way i feel about the person and it would be meaningless to stay connected.

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Elle77
@Elle77
9 Years

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I'm concerned about my cappy friend right now because they are not responding to texts or calls. They always say don't worry about me, but I can't help it if I care about people...I didn't do anything to him, except fall asleep. His hours of sleep and mine do not sync. Sometimes he wants to talk and I'm about done.

I've know for 10 years and talk to regularly smh

I'll give him time to come out hiding. He's having a really rough time right now and has nothing to do with me. I have faith he's okay just needs to be alone. I have not seen him to be the type to cut off anyone completely even someone I know said some heinous words to him.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by Elle77
I'm concerned about my cappy friend right now because they are not responding to texts or calls. They always say don't worry about me, but I can't help it if I care about people...I didn't do anything to him, except fall asleep. His hours of sleep and mine do not sync. Sometimes he wants to talk and I'm about done.

I've know for 10 years and talk to regularly smh

I'll give him time to come out hiding. He's having a really rough time right now and has nothing to do with me. I have faith he's okay just needs to be alone. I have not seen him to be the type to cut off anyone completely even someone I know said some heinous words to him.
Maybe drop by his place and check on him?
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Greentea
@Greentea
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Posted by unknown2u
Just a commentary.
If anyone would like more details PM me, and I will give you the reference.

Ostracism does more harm, than good. This is not an opinion, it’s a fact. Ostracism, like the silent treatment and cold shoulder, are very common for two reasons.
"First, they're powerful,” and “ second, you can get away with them.” As stated by a psychiatrist.
Ostracism is most self-destructive when use as a defense for whatever reason (self-preservation, ending a relationship, etc..)

The ostracizer (cappy or anyone who resorts to ignoring, and giving the silent treatment) do this because they are not adapt at more advanced forms of interpersonal conflict, and a few other reasons.
People with low in self-esteem are more likely to ostracize, and oftentimes they use it as a manipulative tactic rather than proper disengagement. Now here is an interesting fact: people with high self-esteem are more likely than those with low self-esteem to terminate a relationship in a proper way with partners who ostracize them.

The ostracized (person being ignored) goes through psychology trauma. The effects of long term ostracism are not purely psychological. When ostracism is chronic many ostracized state that they develop health problems such as migraine, heart palpitations, increased asthma attacks, etc. And the greatest threat occurs when ostracized by a love relationship compared to a relative, friend or stranger. The ostracized for the most part will eventually bounce back, it may take some time, but will learn from this experience.

The ostracizer on the other hand will continue to ostracize until they admit that’s not a proper, and healthy way to end a relationship. They need to work on adapting a better form of interpersonal conflict, and admit that this is a manipulative tactic.

It's not a.manipulative tactic when you're done..bring me facts. Maybe it is for people who are playing games.

When someone's done, it means nothing has to be said anymore, and none of their words or emotional tactics/excuses are going to work and make me feel for them. In most cases, I've given them several chances, there's a point where I need to start thinking about myself and my feelings and not prioritize this persons feelings/views over my own, amd not giving them what they want anymore.

So who is manipulating who here...it's manipulation when I decide I've had enough of the bullshit that's been fed to me. I don't work like that.

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iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
Posted by SensitiveBlues
Posted by iCloud9
that's why i love mature scorpios and their ego death. i learn what love really is from my scoop
EGO is a huge problem for me, so is Pride.
click to expand

i'm prideful too and i think it can be a good thing as long as not going overboard to become vanity or narcissistic. one has to be prideful to want to self improve and strive to be a better person each and every day in all areas of life.

it looks like there are 2 very different things being discussed in this thread - one is to just disappear one day or silent treatment without a word; the other is to let go quickly and completely, inform and terminate the connection without giving a 2nd chance. i personally think the former is abusive and cowardly. it is usually done by those who are emotionally handicapped (imho, these ppl should be avoided at all cost if you want to lead a healthy emotoinal life). it should not be confused with the latter.
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tcta
@tcta
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 3706 · Posts: 7112 · Topics: 18
Posted by Greentea
Posted by unknown2u
Just a commentary.
If anyone would like more details PM me, and I will give you the reference.

Ostracism does more harm, than good. This is not an opinion, it’s a fact. Ostracism, like the silent treatment and cold shoulder, are very common for two reasons.
"First, they're powerful,” and “ second, you can get away with them.” As stated by a psychiatrist.
Ostracism is most self-destructive when use as a defense for whatever reason (self-preservation, ending a relationship, etc..)

The ostracizer (cappy or anyone who resorts to ignoring, and giving the silent treatment) do this because they are not adapt at more advanced forms of interpersonal conflict, and a few other reasons.
People with low in self-esteem are more likely to ostracize, and oftentimes they use it as a manipulative tactic rather than proper disengagement. Now here is an interesting fact: people with high self-esteem are more likely than those with low self-esteem to terminate a relationship in a proper way with partners who ostracize them.

The ostracized (person being ignored) goes through psychology trauma. The effects of long term ostracism are not purely psychological. When ostracism is chronic many ostracized state that they develop health problems such as migraine, heart palpitations, increased asthma attacks, etc. And the greatest threat occurs when ostracized by a love relationship compared to a relative, friend or stranger. The ostracized for the most part will eventually bounce back, it may take some time, but will learn from this experience.

The ostracizer on the other hand will continue to ostracize until they admit that’s not a proper, and healthy way to end a relationship. They need to work on adapting a better form of interpersonal conflict, and admit that this is a manipulative tactic.

It's not a.manipulative tactic when you're done..bring me facts. Maybe it is for people who are playing games.

When someone's done, it means nothing has to be said anymore, and none of their words or emotional tactics/excuses are going to work and make me feel for them. In most cases, I've given them several chances, there's a point where I need to start thinking about myself and my feelings and not prioritize this persons feelings/views over my own, amd not giving them what they want anymore.

So who is manipulating who here...it's manipulation when I decide I've had enough of the bullshit that's been fed to me. I don't work like that.

click to expand

I agree, only someone who enjoys playing the victim will express in this manner. Capricorns do tell people what the problem is. It isn't their fault others d
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