Cappies.. Breaking off all Contact suddenly? (Page 2)

amputation is necessary to stop the cancer from spreading. i couldn't breath normally for 2 days so on the 3rd day i cut it off. the heartache transferred physically for real and i felt numb when i heard which was apathy made me felt bad. anyway, i'm leaving it be for now until it's time to revisit.

Posted by sultrykitty
Cold shoulder is different than cutting off. Cold shoulder/silent treatment implies that the person still wants communication (or something similar), but on their terms. That's manipulative.

Amputation means that the person wants nothing more from that person but to never speak again.

Exactly.

well I think we're done here LOL !

Posted by Capri_unicorn

Posted by tcta

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Ugh. None of the Caps here are talking about pulling a slow fade. They're talking amputation. It's what we do when communication has FAILED.

lol - they are not listening - lol - that is why we cut the cord instead of banging our head against the wall

Seriously lol...nobody is doing it because they have low self esteem or are incapable of expressing themselves. There's a major difference between manipulation and I just don't care to speak to you or hear your excuses. Even if we listened it literally wouldn't make a difference. It would only provide closure for the receiver as we have already received closure when we decided to detach.

click to expand

Exactly!! The moment I decide to detach is my closure! It is not manipulation it is just being done...

Posted by unknown2u
@iCloud9 “It's not a.manipulative tactic when you're done..bring me facts. Maybe it is for people who are playing games”

Below are the facts you requested. When I post on DXP I always make an effort to give an educated opinion. Below are the articles I’ve read on this topic.
And It doesn’t matter if you add a variable factor to the equation, the final product=ostracism. And ostracism is not healthy.
Ostracism has been analyzed since the beginning of mankind by anthropologist, and psychiatrist for decades. Below is a couple of references from reputable journals, and articles for your enjoyment.

1. Ostracism
Annual Review of Psychology
Vol. 58: 425-452 (Volume publication date January 2007)
First published online as a Review in Advance on August 25, 2006
DOI: 10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085641
Kipling D. Williams
Department of Psychological Sciences, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana 47907; email: kip@psych.purdue.edu


2.Cold shoulder, silent treatment do more harm than good

The Australian Research Council provided funding for Williams' work for the book and journal article.
Writer: Amy Patterson Neubert, (765) 494-9723 apatterson@purdue.edu
Source: Kipling Williams, (765) 494-0845 kip@psych.purdue.edu
Purdue News Service: (765) 494-2096 purduenews@purdue.edu

3. Ostracism
Author: Sally Singer Horwatt, Ph. D.
Clinical Psychologist 1999

The American Psychiatric Association APA, JAMA, NEJM, Journal of psychiatric practice etc. have multiple articles on Ostracism. If you’re interested in any specific journal PM me, and we can debate about ostracism over evidence based articles. Hope this helps.

I believe in not.playing games. When I'm done, and I cut you off...what does that mean?... that I don't want to deal with that person anymore. I don't want to entertain you emotionally, I have nothing more to give and don't want to give anymore. It's usually the other person who doesn't want to be heard that feels hurt aboit it.. but all along we've been giving them chances after communicating how we feel or think. No one plays the victim but the one who won't be given anymore chances. I'm usually ok after I cut that person off. Of course we go through the grieving process just like everyone else, but like I said when we decide to cut it off, thats it, we learn to make peace with it ourselves.

Posted by unknown2u
"Amputation means that the person wants nothing more from that person but to never speak again."
A colloquialism, just a simple observation, not being malicious at all.

What—

That made no sense.

@unknown2u

As always, insightful commentary. As an MD yourself, you are definitely well placed to know the detrimental effects of this kind of behavior. People on dxp are quick to comment based on opinion or personal behavior, not necessarily based on fact.

@impulsiv

Totally agree.

Posted by unknown2u
Please don’t take offense, but colloquialism only create assumptive statements. Basically what I’m trying to say is that there is no such a thing as amputating people. At least not in formal writing. As I stated earlier it was just a harmless observation. And no, I’m not the grammar police I just found it interesting. This is a public forum. Very one can write as they wish, and I’m not censoring anyone from expressing themselves…that’s all.

No, now that I see you're an MD it makes sense now. It would be a bit more obvious to you than a layman (re:colloquialism). No offense taken, I honestly didn't get it.

Regardless it's a good descriptor for cutting one out of your life (also a colloquialism, if you want to get technical).

🙂

I do that too - when betrayed to the point that they can't be forgiven anymore - and I forgive a lot and give them chance to reform. I do it immediately after they show that behaviour, so I don't have to give them closure. They know why I cut them off.

I also do it when someone tries to show disrespect to me beyond a point of forgiveness. Again, I cut them off immediately, so they know why I have cut them off. I don't take disrespect or being taken for granted from anyone.

But usually I forgive a few times and hope the person will reform. I cut them off only if they exceed a limit and show no signs of reforming.

I am a Capricorn Moon.