Capricorn - Ever had "The one that got away"?

Hi Cappies -

Its been known that Caps like their distance/space and aren't the best at responding or texting. They are highly consumed by work as well.

Question for you all - Have you ever had someone you were interested in or early on in dating stages that you lost due to your lack of communication/texting or commitments to work? Did you ever wish you could have given them the time they wanted and deserved?

My situation: I've been talking to a Cap guy for about a month now. At the beginning weeks, we went on several dates, constantly chatted by text and saw each other about 2 times a week. Now our chats are almost non-existent and when I would ask or try to make plans, he always has an excuse for it not to happen. I've talked to him about the lack of communication and how it hurts me that he doesn't respond to my texts. The worst feeling ever is sending someone you miss a text and they done respond back...

Other members here have given me awesome advice on how to be patient with a Caps. I will have to say, I have never been so patient with someone before in my life! However, my patients is running really thin.

I've told him twice before that he is losing me due to his lack of communication and that I was ready to walk, but he always pulled out his charm to keep me. By doing this, it did show that he cared and was interested in me... However, his actions do not show it.

I'm at my wits end with him and ready to end things for good.

Let me reword my original opener. But you should take heed to the signs.

This guy isn't interested. It has nothing to do with his star sign.

You said yourself in the beginning he was attentive and that you hung out and he was responsive. Once that stopped, that is a sign of disinterest.

It doesn't get more blatant than ignoring your text and invites. What else does he have to do to signal disinterest. I guaranteed if you stop reaching out he will too and you will have your final answer.

It's all so simple. Interested people act interested no matter the sign.

There is one that got away but not because of my busy schedule.

There is one who might have some feelings for me and she is a Taurus. Very emotional and gets hurt easily. But I have no interest currently. I might like friendship but if she tries to come on too soon I'll have to withdraw. Also I have other things to do which require most of my time so investing time in a relationship will only disappoint the other person. You see love is like a long road where two people meet. Both have to come out of their houses and both need to make an effort and cover the distance themselves. And you cannot cover someone else's distance just because you have strong feelings. That is not fair. You wait till they reach the point where you both can meet comfortably. It can be either in the middle or a bit towards him or a bit towards you but never entirely towards anyone's. Otherwise you will always doubt the other person. So don't panic. With Capricorn it is a long drive a little bit of patience is recommended.

And you first paragraph is you tricking yourself into accepting this behavior. The caps I know were on their partners like white on rice, my brother dated one and he had to beat her off with a stick damn near. So this isn't a Capricorn thing.

Thanks all.

I'm moving on - However, should I let him know this or just completely delete him out of my phone so I cant contact him?

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Thanks for the reply! It was a great read! Yes I have found from this experience that I do not have the patience for the slowness and also for me, the lack of communication.

Capricorns always send mixed signals...

You've only been dating a month. That's not very long. He might be afraid of the feelings he has for you and that's why he becomes distant. Give it a little more time.

You seem to come on very strong with your emotions. But maybe it's just how I'm perceiving it. I say delete him as well, with no explanation.

If he is interested. He will wonder what happen to all the I miss you's and he will peek his head around the corner to see what you've been up to. If this happens just be friendly and move forward without bringing up hurt feelings from the past.

Sometimes all the nagging emotional stuff can be draining.

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

click to expand

What? Still having problems?? 😢

girl, if he was truly interested he would be chasing you... trust me... CAPS girl here... lol

Yeah I ended up deleting him and moving on.

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

What? Still having problems?? 😢

Yes.. he's not talking again after telling me he didn't want to break up & we were going to talk about his issues in more detail... I can't do it for him. He has to be willing to let me help him unpack ya know?

click to expand

Yea. He keeps repeating this cycle. Is that guy friend still living there with him or did he finally leave?

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

What? Still having problems?? 😢

Yes.. he's not talking again after telling me he didn't want to break up & we were going to talk about his issues in more detail... I can't do it for him. He has to be willing to let me help him unpack ya know?

Yea. He keeps repeating this cycle. Is that guy friend still living there with him or did he finally leave?

He left. Just like a week ago. Instead of getting better, it got worse. I think everything he told me about less times was excuses. Real reason is he's petrified to get hurt again. Seems like that fear is winning over the possibility of great love.

I've stopped texting because it wasn't helping. And I was far too upset. He wouldn't respond to questions about breaking up or if we were going to have that talk. Not sure where that leaves me..

just starting to hang out with friends again. Get a little social time. Wouldn't he tell me if he'd made a decision? Or is he afraid to face me because he knows I'm confused because I texted him & told him.

click to expand

From my experience with Cap #1, I think he did things to annoy me enough to want to break up with him so he didn't have to break up with me. That's what it seems like is happening right now. He just doesn't seem that interested. Set him free and if he comes back, it was meant to be.

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

What? Still having problems?? 😢

Yes.. he's not talking again after telling me he didn't want to break up & we were going to talk about his issues in more detail... I can't do it for him. He has to be willing to let me help him unpack ya know?

Yea. He keeps repeating this cycle. Is that guy friend still living there with him or did he finally leave?

He left. Just like a week ago. Instead of getting better, it got worse. I think everything he told me about less times was excuses. Real reason is he's petrified to get hurt again. Seems like that fear is winning over the possibility of great love.

I've stopped texting because it wasn't helping. And I was far too upset. He wouldn't respond to questions about breaking up or if we were going to have that talk. Not sure where that leaves me..

just starting to hang out with friends again. Get a little social time. Wouldn't he tell me if he'd made a decision? Or is he afraid to face me because he knows I'm confused because I texted him & told him.

From my experience with Cap #1, I think he did things to annoy me enough to want to break up with him so he didn't have to break up with me. That's what it seems like is happening right now. He just doesn't seem that interested. Set him free and if he comes back, it was meant to be.

It's what's been happening for a couple of months... I have tried to be supportive instead of dumping him. He has this big over the moon happy to see me moment and swearing he doesn't want to break up. Than 3 days later goes silent. Idk maybe I want to see if he can deal with this. Or just tell me he can't do this. So I'm just giving space but fully aware this might be it.

A friend of mine told me they need a notarized statement from both of us that we broke up.. doesn't believe it til they see it lol. I'm not ready to let go obviously..

click to expand

I know a thing or two about not wanting to let go! It is very hard. A couple of months is a long time though... seems suspicious. Are u sure there's no other woman significantly in the picture?

Posted by youngali

Posted by MilaniKisses
Thanks all.

I'm moving on - However, should I let him know this or just completely delete him out of my phone so I cant contact him?

delete.



...conclusion, he has other bitches.

click to expand

This too!

It's normally the one they took for granted during a time when they were short of settling for comfort, but fear drove them to rock the boat. They tend to realize it shortly after the next one hurt them pretty badly 😆

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

What? Still having problems?? 😢

Yes.. he's not talking again after telling me he didn't want to break up & we were going to talk about his issues in more detail... I can't do it for him. He has to be willing to let me help him unpack ya know?

Yea. He keeps repeating this cycle. Is that guy friend still living there with him or did he finally leave?

He left. Just like a week ago. Instead of getting better, it got worse. I think everything he told me about less times was excuses. Real reason is he's petrified to get hurt again. Seems like that fear is winning over the possibility of great love.

I've stopped texting because it wasn't helping. And I was far too upset. He wouldn't respond to questions about breaking up or if we were going to have that talk. Not sure where that leaves me..

just starting to hang out with friends again. Get a little social time. Wouldn't he tell me if he'd made a decision? Or is he afraid to face me because he knows I'm confused because I texted him & told him.

From my experience with Cap #1, I think he did things to annoy me enough to want to break up with him so he didn't have to break up with me. That's what it seems like is happening right now. He just doesn't seem that interested. Set him free and if he comes back, it was meant to be.

It's what's been happening for a couple of months... I have tried to be supportive instead of dumping him. He has this big over the moon happy to see me moment and swearing he doesn't want to break up. Than 3 days later goes silent. Idk maybe I want to see if he can deal with this. Or just tell me he can't do this. So I'm just giving space but fully aware this might be it.

A friend of mine told me they need a notarized statement from both of us that we broke up.. doesn't believe it til they see it lol. I'm not ready to let go obviously..

I know a thing or two about not wanting to let go! It is very hard. A couple of months is a long time though... seems suspicious. Are u sure there's no other woman significantly in the picture?

I don't think so based on what happened two weeks ago. But, now who knows? If he decided something and didn't tell me.

I think it was more his friends pressuring him to want to go out with others, because he's having so much trouble. That maybe he can't handle a relationship still even though they like me a lot. I heard them make a couple of comments that make me think that. He was so devastated by his divorce, they are just trying to take care of him.

I'm not in a big rush to find someone else, in fact if it's not him I probably won't date for awhile. Just hang with friends. So it's alright to give him space. It helps me too. Because perhaps if he comes back, I won't be so interested to start again.

Just trying to focus on me right now ?

click to expand

I know, but how long have you been dating?? A serious relationship should not be like that. I wouldn't accept that. If it was only casual, then I could understand because all I date are casual men unfortunately.

Telling him a few weeks into dating that his lack of communication 'hurts' you was a mistake.

Your not official, not bf/gf so making demands and guilt tripping is only gonna drive him away. As evidenced by him going ghost.

Next time continue to talk to other guys. Don't be too available, i.e let him take the lead in planning dates, let him come to you-don't travel to him, and never cancel plans to meet his schedule.

He should be concerned about wooing you and locking you down before someone else swoops you up.

The power is all in your hands at the beginning of the dating process. Unfortunately you overplayed your hand.

Posted by MilaniKisses
Thanks all.

I'm moving on - However, should I let him know this or just completely delete him out of my phone so I cant contact him?

Nope do you and let him wonder.

You don't owe him an explanation.

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

What? Still having problems?? 😢

Yes.. he's not talking again after telling me he didn't want to break up & we were going to talk about his issues in more detail... I can't do it for him. He has to be willing to let me help him unpack ya know?

Yea. He keeps repeating this cycle. Is that guy friend still living there with him or did he finally leave?

He left. Just like a week ago. Instead of getting better, it got worse. I think everything he told me about less times was excuses. Real reason is he's petrified to get hurt again. Seems like that fear is winning over the possibility of great love.

I've stopped texting because it wasn't helping. And I was far too upset. He wouldn't respond to questions about breaking up or if we were going to have that talk. Not sure where that leaves me..

just starting to hang out with friends again. Get a little social time. Wouldn't he tell me if he'd made a decision? Or is he afraid to face me because he knows I'm confused because I texted him & told him.

From my experience with Cap #1, I think he did things to annoy me enough to want to break up with him so he didn't have to break up with me. That's what it seems like is happening right now. He just doesn't seem that interested. Set him free and if he comes back, it was meant to be.

It's what's been happening for a couple of months... I have tried to be supportive instead of dumping him. He has this big over the moon happy to see me moment and swearing he doesn't want to break up. Than 3 days later goes silent. Idk maybe I want to see if he can deal with this. Or just tell me he can't do this. So I'm just giving space but fully aware this might be it.

A friend of mine told me they need a notarized statement from both of us that we broke up.. doesn't believe it til they see it lol. I'm not ready to let go obviously..

I know a thing or two about not wanting to let go! It is very hard. A couple of months is a long time though... seems suspicious. Are u sure there's no other woman significantly in the picture?

I don't think so based on what happened two weeks ago. But, now who knows? If he decided something and didn't tell me.

I think it was more his friends pressuring him to want to go out with others, because he's having so much trouble. That maybe he can't handle a relationship still even though they like me a lot. I heard them make a couple of comments that make me think that. He was so devastated by his divorce, they are just trying to take care of him.

I'm not in a big rush to find someone else, in fact if it's not him I probably won't date for awhile. Just hang with friends. So it's alright to give him space. It helps me too. Because perhaps if he comes back, I won't be so interested to start again.

Just trying to focus on me right now ?

I know, but how long have you been dating?? A serious relationship should not be like that. I wouldn't accept that. If it was only casual, then I could understand because all I date are casual men unfortunately.

8 months as bf/gf. We were talking about a possible future. He has been struggling due to his past. He's been silent for a week, and yes it's a pattern. But this is by far the longest. He was about to start dealing with it with me, so I'm not just going to cut him off at this point. I'm looking to see what he's going to do - not his friends.

Idk we've both been divorced twice. That creates baggage. I'm not ready to abandon him yet. I'm trying to give him a chance to see if he is going to deal or if he is just not. Part of this is due to my past, and an ex who never did deal. I guess I need to wait & see. I don't know that he's talking to any others. He has denied it saying he only wants me over the last couple of months. Including a week & a half ago.

TBH, I'm pissed and hurt that he has done this. I'm not sure if there could be a future now if he's going to behave like this. But I'm still not ready to abandon him. I want to see if he reaches out. I'm giving him the space to choose instead of making demands. I have my own issues too. I guess I would want someone who was there for me like that. So we shall see.

click to expand

You want what you're giving to him. You want the effort to be equal. That's completely understandable. But for him to change his behavior would be drastic at this point. People do not change that easily.

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

What? Still having problems?? 😢

Yes.. he's not talking again after telling me he didn't want to break up & we were going to talk about his issues in more detail... I can't do it for him. He has to be willing to let me help him unpack ya know?

Yea. He keeps repeating this cycle. Is that guy friend still living there with him or did he finally leave?

He left. Just like a week ago. Instead of getting better, it got worse. I think everything he told me about less times was excuses. Real reason is he's petrified to get hurt again. Seems like that fear is winning over the possibility of great love.

I've stopped texting because it wasn't helping. And I was far too upset. He wouldn't respond to questions about breaking up or if we were going to have that talk. Not sure where that leaves me..

just starting to hang out with friends again. Get a little social time. Wouldn't he tell me if he'd made a decision? Or is he afraid to face me because he knows I'm confused because I texted him & told him.

From my experience with Cap #1, I think he did things to annoy me enough to want to break up with him so he didn't have to break up with me. That's what it seems like is happening right now. He just doesn't seem that interested. Set him free and if he comes back, it was meant to be.

It's what's been happening for a couple of months... I have tried to be supportive instead of dumping him. He has this big over the moon happy to see me moment and swearing he doesn't want to break up. Than 3 days later goes silent. Idk maybe I want to see if he can deal with this. Or just tell me he can't do this. So I'm just giving space but fully aware this might be it.

A friend of mine told me they need a notarized statement from both of us that we broke up.. doesn't believe it til they see it lol. I'm not ready to let go obviously..

I know a thing or two about not wanting to let go! It is very hard. A couple of months is a long time though... seems suspicious. Are u sure there's no other woman significantly in the picture?

I don't think so based on what happened two weeks ago. But, now who knows? If he decided something and didn't tell me.

I think it was more his friends pressuring him to want to go out with others, because he's having so much trouble. That maybe he can't handle a relationship still even though they like me a lot. I heard them make a couple of comments that make me think that. He was so devastated by his divorce, they are just trying to take care of him.

I'm not in a big rush to find someone else, in fact if it's not him I probably won't date for awhile. Just hang with friends. So it's alright to give him space. It helps me too. Because perhaps if he comes back, I won't be so interested to start again.

Just trying to focus on me right now ?

I know, but how long have you been dating?? A serious relationship should not be like that. I wouldn't accept that. If it was only casual, then I could understand because all I date are casual men unfortunately.

8 months as bf/gf. We were talking about a possible future. He has been struggling due to his past. He's been silent for a week, and yes it's a pattern. But this is by far the longest. He was about to start dealing with it with me, so I'm not just going to cut him off at this point. I'm looking to see what he's going to do - not his friends.

Idk we've both been divorced twice. That creates baggage. I'm not ready to abandon him yet. I'm trying to give him a chance to see if he is going to deal or if he is just not. Part of this is due to my past, and an ex who never did deal. I guess I need to wait & see. I don't know that he's talking to any others. He has denied it saying he only wants me over the last couple of months. Including a week & a half ago.

TBH, I'm pissed and hurt that he has done this. I'm not sure if there could be a future now if he's going to behave like this. But I'm still not ready to abandon him. I want to see if he reaches out. I'm giving him the space to choose instead of making demands. I have my own issues too. I guess I would want someone who was there for me like that. So we shall see.

You want what you're giving to him. You want the effort to be equal. That's completely understandable. But for him to change his behavior would be drastic at this point. People do not change that easily.

Probably. I agree he has to choose to want to deal with his issues. They are causing a lot of protective behaviors. It's not my fault.

It's a pattern.. like my ex. The communication part & there are some other things. Maybe I'm learning the lesson like getting hit with a brick in the head! Lol. I'm also a 12th house sun & it causes me to be self-sacrificing!!! I really need to pick guys that aren't broken ?

Or maybe they're attracted to me. Idk.

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This is familiar territory right now. Ive been having similar behaviours for over a month with my Capricorn. The last time I posted he near threw in the towel. Since then we have been communicating briefly everyday morning n night and sometimes a call. Since his new job commenced he has been so unpredictable. We are in an LDR and we caught up at the start of June...still snuggley and amazing yet he was quite focused on telling me about his work. I've had roughly 3-4 calls/messages stressing he is so stressed and maxed out and he may leave his job. I'm staying strong and being there, if he doesn't reach out in the morning I reach to him with a light message and usually one of us reaches out at the end of the day. I've pushed every emotion into working out or soaking in the bath with a candle. I'm using my emotions productively and not acting out or lashing out at him insecurely like I've done in the past. I'm not sure if I'm doing things right and we have been 3 years....heck I even messaged him stating I'm not good at this, trying to judgewhen to message and when not too, I'm here and not going anywhere. I reply when I notice his messages etc as I want things to be natural and honest. If he goes too long I send him a joking message to lift him. I need a manual for this guy haha....

Posted by Rindaroo
@miscorpion. - too many quotes I couldn't type any more! Anyway I don't think pulling him back is the right answer right now. I think he needs to decide what he wants to do. Since he's refusing my help. Yours perhaps still might be the right answer.. sounds like he needs support right now with his work stress.

They have too much pride and don't like burdening. The pulling him back answer lies within you, only you can answer that and be happy.

In my instance I'm looking at both angles now not just for my reasons...he so reached out to me thru my dark hours and all I wanted to do was shut away the world and not be an issue to anyone as I worked through my challenges..so thinking now is that my Cap moon shining through? I appreciated him even though I distanced I just hope I can be the same for him now. If not I know I can hold my head high and tried the best way I knew without conflict and I stuck it out. My mechanisms have always been to go and not look back, yet this warm vibe runs through me to be patient, gentle and loving. I hope your cap comes round and doesn't remain stubborn/quiet and reaches out soon because from your previous help and advise to myself and others you sound like such a lovely, warm, bubbly lady that he's letting slip by ?

So around noon I was the last text I sent my Cap asking what time he gets off work. After deleting all of our texts, around 5:30 he texted me his answer saying he just made it home. I didn't respond... deleted it again.

I will have to say, inside I got excited to see his response, but I knew in order for me to move forward, I couldn't reply. Err, hope I'm doing the right thing...?

Posted by MilaniKisses
So around noon I was the last text I sent my Cap asking what time he gets off work. After deleting all of our texts, around 5:30 he texted me his answer saying he just made it home. I didn't respond... deleted it again.

I will have to say, inside I got excited to see his response, but I knew in order for me to move forward, I couldn't reply. Err, hope I'm doing the right thing...?

It's up to you if you want to prolong the situation.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by MilaniKisses
So around noon I was the last text I sent my Cap asking what time he gets off work. After deleting all of our texts, around 5:30 he texted me his answer saying he just made it home. I didn't respond... deleted it again.

I will have to say, inside I got excited to see his response, but I knew in order for me to move forward, I couldn't reply. Err, hope I'm doing the right thing...?

It's up to you if you want to prolong the situation.

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Nope, not going to. Reflecting on it... the fucker never asked me how my day went... he never did. Fuck him

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by Miscorpion

Posted by Rindaroo
@miscorpion. - too many quotes I couldn't type any more! Anyway I don't think pulling him back is the right answer right now. I think he needs to decide what he wants to do. Since he's refusing my help. Yours perhaps still might be the right answer.. sounds like he needs support right now with his work stress.

They have too much pride and don't like burdening. The pulling him back answer lies within you, only you can answer that and be happy.

In my instance I'm looking at both angles now not just for my reasons...he so reached out to me thru my dark hours and all I wanted to do was shut away the world and not be an issue to anyone as I worked through my challenges..so thinking now is that my Cap moon shining through? I appreciated him even though I distanced I just hope I can be the same for him now. If not I know I can hold my head high and tried the best way I knew without conflict and I stuck it out. My mechanisms have always been to go and not look back, yet this warm vibe runs through me to be patient, gentle and loving. I hope your cap comes round and doesn't remain stubborn/quiet and reaches out soon because from your previous help and advise to myself and others you sound like such a lovely, warm, bubbly lady that he's letting slip by ?

Thanks 🙂 yeah I just caved & sent him a text. All it said was hi. If he doesn't respond then I just don't know.. he knows what he had in me. I don't think it's about that. He may be mad at me because of what I said or asked about. But I feel like it wasn't nagging but normal questions you'd ask in a relationship. But he has been in a bad place and I suppose that was all he could take. ?

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I totally agree with you. From what I gather they need reassurance especially when times are hard. I'm feeling my way round too. I think your hi message was sweet, keep in mind it's not requiring an answer so that could take pressure off him to not reply. He knows you are thinking of him whether he choses to act on it right now. Wonder if it's a placement influence or share coincidence that a few are unsettled right now. Feel free to private message me if you want to just unload or I can possibly share my experiences. I'm still in murky waters myself with my cap and foresee it for a while as he transitions into his current job it applies for another. For now I'm remaining positive and keeping my thoughts calm ?

Posted by youngali

Posted by MilaniKisses
Thanks all.

I'm moving on - However, should I let him know this or just completely delete him out of my phone so I cant contact him?

delete.



...conclusion, he has other bitches.

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This.

And yeah, they usually have other bitches to cushion that fragile ego, so don't waste time texting because it probably doesn't mean shit to him.

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Posted by nanobyte
I've had one with a scorpio moon tell me this the other day! I was laughing so hard because he was telling me that I "never took him seriously." I was laughing mostly because I am a gemini and he, a capricorn. So a gemini not taking a capricorn seriously 😆

You sound like me, 4 years ago. A different one I chased and repeatedly put myself out there to him, for a year, and he seemed to give 0 fucks. He was my inverse - cap sun/gem moon. I moved on and eventually he would start messaging me again (they always come back way after the fact), but I was ignoring his messages like he did to me constantly because I was just done, and then he came crawling back. Twice. My indifference made him very insecure (inside I was dying to reply but I am stubborn and have too much control when it comes to stuff like that). After weeks of that, he angrily messaged me one day "Why do you hate me now?! What is your problem?? Why don't you ever joke around or respond to me anymore?" and I just smirked and thought "hurts doesn't it, fucker". I was crazy about him!

He couldn't deal a taste of his own behavior for even just a few weeks. And he tried to add me on facebook a few weeks ago. I am engaged now, to someone else.

You have to let caps be the ones to do the chasing, imo. But I don't really have the patience for that slow burning kind of love. They are soooooooooo slow.

Ugh!! Mine won't even talk about whether he wants to break up!! So this is what I have to look forward to... probably whether or not I break up with him. ?

What? Still having problems?? 😢

Yes.. he's not talking again after telling me he didn't want to break up & we were going to talk about his issues in more detail... I can't do it for him. He has to be willing to let me help him unpack ya know?

Yea. He keeps repeating this cycle. Is that guy friend still living there with him or did he finally leave?

He left. Just like a week ago. Instead of getting better, it got worse. I think everything he told me about less times was excuses. Real reason is he's petrified to get hurt again. Seems like that fear is winning over the possibility of great love.

I've stopped texting because it wasn't helping. And I was far too upset. He wouldn't respond to questions about breaking up or if we were going to have that talk. Not sure where that leaves me..

just starting to hang out with friends again. Get a little social time. Wouldn't he tell me if he'd made a decision? Or is he afraid to face me because he knows I'm confused because I texted him & told him.

From my experience with Cap #1, I think he did things to annoy me enough to want to break up with him so he didn't have to break up with me. That's what it seems like is happening right now. He just doesn't seem that interested. Set him free and if he comes back, it was meant to be.

It's what's been happening for a couple of months... I have tried to be supportive instead of dumping him. He has this big over the moon happy to see me moment and swearing he doesn't want to break up. Than 3 days later goes silent. Idk maybe I want to see if he can deal with this. Or just tell me he can't do this. So I'm just giving space but fully aware this might be it.

A friend of mine told me they need a notarized statement from both of us that we broke up.. doesn't believe it til they see it lol. I'm not ready to let go obviously..

I know a thing or two about not wanting to let go! It is very hard. A couple of months is a long time though... seems suspicious. Are u sure there's no other woman significantly in the picture?

I don't think so based on what happened two weeks ago. But, now who knows? If he decided something and didn't tell me.

I think it was more his friends pressuring him to want to go out with others, because he's having so much trouble. That maybe he can't handle a relationship still even though they like me a lot. I heard them make a couple of comments that make me think that. He was so devastated by his divorce, they are just trying to take care of him.

I'm not in a big rush to find someone else, in fact if it's not him I probably won't date for awhile. Just hang with friends. So it's alright to give him space. It helps me too. Because perhaps if he comes back, I won't be so interested to start again.

Just trying to focus on me right now ?

I know, but how long have you been dating?? A serious relationship should not be like that. I wouldn't accept that. If it was only casual, then I could understand because all I date are casual men unfortunately.

8 months as bf/gf. We were talking about a possible future. He has been struggling due to his past. He's been silent for a week, and yes it's a pattern. But this is by far the longest. He was about to start dealing with it with me, so I'm not just going to cut him off at this point. I'm looking to see what he's going to do - not his friends.

Idk we've both been divorced twice. That creates baggage. I'm not ready to abandon him yet. I'm trying to give him a chance to see if he is going to deal or if he is just not. Part of this is due to my past, and an ex who never did deal. I guess I need to wait & see. I don't know that he's talking to any others. He has denied it saying he only wants me over the last couple of months. Including a week & a half ago.

TBH, I'm pissed and hurt that he has done this. I'm not sure if there could be a future now if he's going to behave like this. But I'm still not ready to abandon him. I want to see if he reaches out. I'm giving him the space to choose instead of making demands. I have my own issues too. I guess I would want someone who was there for me like that. So we shall see.

You want what you're giving to him. You want the effort to be equal. That's completely understandable. But for him to change his behavior would be drastic at this point. People do not change that easily.

Probably. I agree he has to choose to want to deal with his issues. They are causing a lot of protective behaviors. It's not my fault.

It's a pattern.. like my ex. The communication part & there are some other things. Maybe I'm learning the lesson like getting hit with a brick in the head! Lol. I'm also a 12th house sun & it causes me to be self-sacrificing!!! I really need to pick guys that aren't broken ?

Or maybe they're attracted to me. Idk.

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I blame myself for picking the wrong guys too! Lol i think maybe he needs to trust you more. Somehow you need to prove that to him so he can see how much you care about him. You have to show him in a way that means the most to him. For example, I did something for cap #2 recently. I didn't think it was that big of a deal because it wasn't for me, but to him it clearly meant a lot. His reactions were, "wow really" "wow thank you that's awesome!" "Awesome!" "Thanks again for doing that!" And now he's been very sweet to me and just different in good ways. Can you think of anything that you could do that would have that same affect? One that also builds trust and shows how much you care.

"Yes he had been pushing me away due to all this & because he loves me."

I never understood the logic in this type of guys. Really. It simply eludes me.

Posted by Rindaroo
I swear such a Cap.. he says this sort of shut down doesn't normally happen often. It has been this big issue between us. Idk maybe we keep going through things as we attempt to work out our issues. And it's a matter of how much you love each other if you're willing to figure it out. Believe it or not, I usually do the Sag thing & run. I have been unable to do that with him. I have wanted to stay and fight. I guess that says a lot.. oh & neither of us has talked to or seen others. We did talk about that too. And established if we did, it would be over (both ways).

@pinkbird03

I'm sure he trusts you with other men, but I mean more of a trust that he feels he can be himself 100% around you because he's holding back right now big time.

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Rindaroo
I swear such a Cap.. he says this sort of shut down doesn't normally happen often. It has been this big issue between us. Idk maybe we keep going through things as we attempt to work out our issues. And it's a matter of how much you love each other if you're willing to figure it out. Believe it or not, I usually do the Sag thing & run. I have been unable to do that with him. I have wanted to stay and fight. I guess that says a lot.. oh & neither of us has talked to or seen others. We did talk about that too. And established if we did, it would be over (both ways).

@pinkbird03

I'm sure he trusts you with other men, but I mean more of a trust that he feels he can be himself 100% around you because he's holding back right now big time.

Not that he doesn't trust me, but his trust meter broke. He has been having the feeling I was seeing someone else. That is why he holds back. I think part of that is due to my hesitation & part his baggage. TBH I have some big issues too, and I think we have been having trouble because of how we both react. I hold back, he holds back etc. I gave info I hadn't given before & that helped him understand more. Hmmm aqua moon? So we decided to work on it together. I told him I need him to let me know what's going on.. or else I will think he wants to be gone. He told me he's not going anywhere & he will work on it. Yeah he is not the only one with a trust issue.. but different reasons. I will work on believing he's here to stay too.

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If he feels like you've been seeing someone else, he doesn't trust you. What would give him that impression?

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pinkbird03

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Posted by Rindaroo
I swear such a Cap.. he says this sort of shut down doesn't normally happen often. It has been this big issue between us. Idk maybe we keep going through things as we attempt to work out our issues. And it's a matter of how much you love each other if you're willing to figure it out. Believe it or not, I usually do the Sag thing & run. I have been unable to do that with him. I have wanted to stay and fight. I guess that says a lot.. oh & neither of us has talked to or seen others. We did talk about that too. And established if we did, it would be over (both ways).

@pinkbird03

I'm sure he trusts you with other men, but I mean more of a trust that he feels he can be himself 100% around you because he's holding back right now big time.

Not that he doesn't trust me, but his trust meter broke. He has been having the feeling I was seeing someone else. That is why he holds back. I think part of that is due to my hesitation & part his baggage. TBH I have some big issues too, and I think we have been having trouble because of how we both react. I hold back, he holds back etc. I gave info I hadn't given before & that helped him understand more. Hmmm aqua moon? So we decided to work on it together. I told him I need him to let me know what's going on.. or else I will think he wants to be gone. He told me he's not going anywhere & he will work on it. Yeah he is not the only one with a trust issue.. but different reasons. I will work on believing he's here to stay too.

If he feels like you've been seeing someone else, he doesn't trust you. What would give him that impression?

My hesitation maybe. Which was because I thought he wasn't ready for a relationship. He said this happens every time he gets close to someone. It's in his head, but he wants to work on it with me. I guess cuz I'm understanding & supportive and he doesn't want to lose me. So we shall see if he can learn to trust.

His ex did a number on him & cheated.

Seems this is what he was doing in the silent week .. figuring out whether he wanted to work on it with me or walk.

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Well good luck! Hope it works out!

Capricorn politeness can be very confusing.

If you press a Cappie to respond to you more, by asking or telling him you need more communication, they will out of mere politeness. Or perhaps there's an ulterior motivation of just keeping you on a string.

In any case, it doesn't mean a thing. Cappies have many weird ideas about emotions, but one thing they all seem to do is assume that you can turn yours on and off like turning a tap on and off, until they are ready to engage.

It just doesn't work that way.

In the meantime, there's poor old you thinking that he does have interest or he wouldn't keep up the connection, but he's not thinking like the rest of us.

Cappies can be very needy emotionally, and they will friend zone you without telling you. Oh, they're very good and loyal friends, but it doesn't occur to them that you might be hoping for more.

BTW, I would never promise to be exclusive with anyone, talking or otherwise, without knowing them for a long time. I bet he wangled that out of you. That's just insecurity, and a man getting territorial. You need to nip that in the bud. He hasn't earned the right, and you shouldn't give it to him.

I've been talking to a cap for almost 2 months. He actually agreed being exclusive and opened up to me it was great until he slowed down communication between our meetings, seeing we live almost 3 hours away. When I made a comment not sure if this could work without the communication he just pulled away. He said he didn't want to hurt me, which this hurt worse, and said just friends the distant is a problem right now. He said I'm one of the best he's coome acrossed and I'm an awesome woman and likes me. How do I take this? So confused the connection and everything was amazing with us. I thought we could compromise a little on the communication but there was nothing. Just totally crushed.

I thought you had to have someone for them to get away..