Capricorn Men?

Hi, I'm new to this site and a capricorn male has caught my eye. He seems to like me, but I want to know what capricorn men want in a women and what keeps them there, oh, and how can I be sure if he is really interested?

Well breathingSOUL you are in for a ride...I would read around on the posts and that should give you a lot of insight on others experiences and on how your cappy acts. They are one 'interesting' male species!!

First of all, how long have you been with ur Cappy?

I've only known him for a few weeks. He's damn sexy too! Why are they so interesting? I'll look around. Are they pretty serious people or into games or? what?

RUN!!!! LOL

Just kidding, but yes you are in for the ride of your life and they will suck you in with their sexiness!! And unless you had an amazing connection with this beast when you met or you have ALOT of patience this man....well he's just not the one! This man is about PATIENCE and its all at his own pace.. my sugestion to you would be sllllloooooooooooowwwwwwwww! But its oooohhh so hard! Good luck!!I LOVE MY BABY GOAT!!

You are right on the money greeneyedgemini, these are tough goats!

PATIENCE, if ever needed in your life, would be needed greatly with these men!

They do only go at their own pace, they will have it no other way but their own...

Good luck breathingSOUL!!

Shot I wish I saw this earlier...run girl, run! LOL
Ok I actually have a positive capricorn story but let me tell you it was tough to get here! If you are interested in a one night stand go for it, if not........take along time to think about getting involved with one. I suffered in silence for the first three months, things have just gotten good, ok better, but that was mainly due to a strange set of consequences, my incredible patience, and excellent and clear communication. Believe me, there are just as good men out there that are a lot less work. good luck!

Wow, you guys really make them sound difficult. He is giving me really positive signs. He said during Christmas he was talking to his mom & sisters about me and I was kind of surprised. In a good way. In what way would you say you need patience with them? God, I needed more patience with my aries ex so far! Maybe I do have a little patience. I don't like rushing things when I really like someone, maybe he feels the same way. So I want to hear your good & bad stories.

Well you need patience because they take things really slow. They have good days and they have bad days. Sometimes they can go long periods of time without contacting you, for no reasons that have to do with you, but just with them. There are just a lot of scenarios you go thru with these men, and you can't figure out what they are doing, what they mean, etc. You will see if u stick with this guy. It will have you analyzing and thinking a lot, while they are just doing their own thing stress free!!

oooo.... i always hated that. me over-analyzing his every comment and behavior at the beginning of our relationship and he'd just be all relaxed, kickin it, having a good ol time, not meaning anything negative by it. sometimes it's just so hard to tell!

one thing i hate about my cap (and i'm not sure if others are like this): he will say something really blunt- something everyone is thinking but doesn't dare say, or something totally off the wall and he says it like he could be joking or be completely serious. after knowing him for sooo long, i still can't tell the difference! it drives me crazy! friends just assume he's joking... but i know that sometimes he'll say something- and i know he's dead serious. it's like... depending on others' reactions, he's either joking or serious. oh geezus it makes me insane.

you people would not know a cap if one bit you on the ass, WE LOV WOMEN we just don't like being around them unless we have to. you know if we are hungery or horney. That about sum it up.

Old Jake, you couldn't have said it better!! That's the honest truth! That's how mine is at least.

Hey guys, well things are going really good with the cap. He was in the city for a few weeks over the holidays and we spent a lot of time together. We can talk and talk and I forget about time, oh, and he seems to be such a passionate creature. I respect him a lot. He does have quite a pessimistic side to him though, I've noticed. Although it's not hard to make him laugh and get past things. 🙂 He left the city a few days ago on business and has called me a few times. He seems quite a serious man of love, which throws me off guard a bit. Wish me luck!

Oh, and for the record, "hungery & horney" go verrrrrrry well together!

old jake, whatever, hungry or horny, my cappy likes being around me for company and laughs, lets no scare off all the ladies from these men! They are just scared of being hurt, more than anyother sign

I'm glad you're back, Wheretomylady! You seem to know these guys well. I agree with what you said about trying to turn their women into playtoys. My motto has been 'no sex until he gets real and serious.' I've given him a taste, once, but he hasn't proven himself worthy of more. Don't give them what they want every time.

"Don't give them what they want every time."

Ur right CapGirl. Last nite my cap wanted to have sex with me. I said no. I didn't come over here to just have sex, if that's all u wanted from me then tell me now and Im leaving. (Like he would have told me that if it was true). But I wasnt about to be used. And he didn't get mad that i didnt have sex. He acted the same towards me, still wanted to talk, cuddle, it was a very great evening. Wheretomylady was right, these guys are just scared of getting hurt. I can tell mine cares a lot about me with his actions, but it's like he just doesn't want to get himself all out of control in love. In my opinion, i think he should just take the risk....lol...but I guess if you've been hurt a couple of times, it really is hard to open up again. So I have to be understanding about that

Like I said you would not know a real cap if he bit you on the ass.

that sounds like fun!!!he he he!!

I have a friend who dated a cap for 3.5 years, her advice was to be on top of them all the time and that they are a lot of work. Great! I have learned to call them on all their crap and don't let them get away with anything. Mine, mr.wonderful is being a bum today....ahhhhh....as my sister says, "you can't expect people to change". Great, he was behaving so well. I saw him this morning and he gave me the worst half-hug. Yes ladies a half-hug, what the hell is that?

I need your advice, I am thinking about asking the cappy how/what he feels towards me....I shouldn't be so freaked out but I am. I kind of feel this is not the right thing to do because he shows me what he feels, and the fact that he has told his whole family is HUGE, QUESTION? Do I really need more? We have been seeing each other for 4 months, do I need him to tell me he likes me? That he loves me? Why do I need this when its obvious he does like me alot.....why are woman so verbal? Why do we need verbal confirmation?


help!

Dear 1 fine

What with the name onefineaquaius how do I know your fine? Also whats with the repeating everything everyone writes? You heard me you would not know a cap if he or she bit you on the ass or aris. Or in the U.K. you being female on the fannie.


lov jake

Wheretomylady-- my advice would be: DON'T do it! You're just feeling insecure and uncertain at the moment because of the half-hug and road trip thing. It will pass. He's probably just in a temporary mood of his own which is causing this. If you force him to discuss feelings, you'll likely walk away empty-handed and more upset... At least that's what I've found and kind of what "MyCap" experienced it seems. If you feel you need to do it though, do it face-tp-face as you've told us yourself, bc. those emails get you nowhere!!

DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He WILL hide!!! Go with the flow....

Wheretomylady:

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with finding out what stage EXACTLY is your relationship in with him. That goes for with any man. If you want to know something, ASK HIM. Since you see your cap on a regular basis, Talk to him in person (I won't tell you when) and find out if you and him are on the same page.

Hmmm wheretomylady, that's a tough call. I did it once after a couple of mos of dating and it was fine. He talked to me about it and we went on with 'us'...but then a couple of months after that I got insecure again and asked, that was a mistake. Well maybe it was because it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

But in all reality I think they are fine showing us they like us in other ways besides words, because when it comes to them telling us in words, they freak out and cave. Then it gets them all thinking about it, etc.

Go with what u think u should do, but I don't really think u need to be discussing it with him now, I'd wait a little bit longer.

And the half hug thing...I don't get it, mine does that a lot when I'm leaving.

Dear 1

As you know there are caps and those who want to be caps. How do you know the 40% are real caps they may be want to be caps just tring to pass for the real thing.

yours
Jake (the goat boy)

P.S. Lov
At this point in our relationship( being a cap) I feel I need to be a bit formal.

Ladies, thanks for your advice and sharing your past experiences, very, very helpful! Ok, so I saw mr cappy last night and he was fine. Very loving and touchy, so I guess the half-hug was just cause he was tired or I was being overly sensitive...I was in kind of a bitchy, bossy mood...I'm a taurus..hehehe. I didn't say anything to him about how I feel, that mood passed me by, sometimes I love him and sometimes I want to strangle him, he is like my child or something!lol Anyone else feel this why?

old Jake? are you some kind of perv? I know you are a cap and everything but add something useful to our site besides making fun of us! Gosh!

wheretomylady,

I get in those moods every once in a while too, hence I'm a bull also! I can be in a good mood one second, and in the worst mood the next. They come and go. Yes, I could strangle my Cap all the time! I'm pretty much always in a good mood when I see him but sometimes when I'm on my way to meet him or just there with him, I start thinking about how he really is and it starts to piss me off, so that converts me to a bad mood, where I just don't even want to talk to him. Funny, huh!

i am also very new to this site, just started playing around on the computer trying to make myself feel better about getting semi-involved with ANOTHER capricorn man who is just like another one i had been with for 3 1/2 years. what is it with these guys————? Just had another experience with one that thankfully was way shorter than the other, but same results. Wine you dine you show such care and consideration and then bam! just when they know they have you....do the disappearing, looking for something better thing.
I am not the only one of my friends to deal with these capricorn guys and I swear, everyone of them is the same, it's incredible. and i think the worst part is when they're there with you they are SO there, but then gone like a puff of smoke. I will never never never get involved with one of them again

anotherpisceswoman welcome!!

Yes it seems all these cap men are alike. It doesn't really seem imagineable that they could all be like they are, but sadly it's the truth. Wow, you were with a cap for 3 1/2 years? How did u handle that one. I think if I spent that long with the cap I'm with now and it didn't work out, I would run like lightening the next time I even came into contact with a Cap man. The disappearing thing is confusing and annoying, I just don't understand why they feel the need to do this. But, yes, once they know they 'have' u, they disappear and don't 'try' anymore i.e., wine and dine you....and they just do their own thing. Pretty crazy!

That would be ur best bet never to get involved with one again. AFter I figure out what's going to happen with my current Cap there will be no other caps in my future as a potential. It's just too much to handle!

thanks for your input. when i said 3 1/2 years what it really meant was 3 1/2 years of back and forth back and forth, and everytime i stayed away long enough to be "over" him he'd pull out the old fishing rod and throw the bait out. I swear, they have radar, it's amazing. Just last night i was out on a really nice dinner date with a good good guy, who is open honest and NOT afraid of maybe making a committment, and wouldn't you know, while we were at dinner the capricorn man who's been ignoring me and yes i believe "trolling" for greener pastures, called saying he'd love to come over and make me dinner tonight.
see, part of my experiences with these guys is that no matter how great they think you are, they always think there might be something better around the corner, hence the disappearing and non-committal stuff. and this cap i am getting rid of now actually DID say, if he didn't see it , it didn't happen. and we're not talking about a kid here, this is a grown divorced man with kids etc.
but he obviously still has the cap issues, secrectivness, hiding, lying etc.
I called him this morning when i knew he would not be able to answer his cell, and left a message of thanks but no thanks, i already have plans.
i can continue this game if i choose, but i'm choosing not to, i can't take the uncertainty, the degradation, and the self loathing that comes with being used and abused.
But the radar thing is truly amazing, they JUST KNOW when you've given up on them without you saying a word and then they know they need to do something to reel you back before you get completely away, and once again, once you're back, then they leave....till next time. This is what i went through for the 3+ years and i just can't do it again.
i'm so glad i found this site because I was beginning to think it was just me.

Is that you, "PiscesGirl"? Because this is "Cappie"...

I've got a 7-day countdown to a major fork in the road... this would be the only occasion where I'd ever consider contacting him (the whole bday text msg.) It's like it's then or never, in my mind. It's so darn ridiculous bc. it may bring about nothing, and that's okay with me, I think. So, it's like do I let him know I remembered and am still thinking of him, or do I keep getting over and on with it. It's really that same old dilemma of ... is this a nice, shy, hurt guy, who deserves the benefit of the doubt, or a player who has been messing w/ me? I'm sure we've all struggled with these thoughts.

no I'm a different pisces girl, but from my experience, and i went years with one of these guys, no matter how sweet, kind understanding etc etc you are it doesn't seem to make any difference.
I'm sure there are exceptions but the bad times far outweighed the good. The shame of it is that when he was "there" he was sooooo "there" but when he was gone he was totally gone no matter what. and as I said, there was this invisible radar he had to always throw the bait whenever i felt i had really let go, after a lot of crying screaming and self hate. He even flew out to meet me totally unexpectedly when i was on vacation and we had a torrid couple of days. I took it as SUCH a romantic gesture, BUT two days after being home again, back to the same old routine. AND I don't know about yours but he always seemed to have someone else either on the sly or that he was checking out. He needed his ego fed constantly and one really good person was never enough.
so as to remembering his birthday, go for it if you feel like it, maybe your guy will be different, but i know i spent a lot of time money and emotional hell trying to please this guy, who was pleased of course, but could never be satisfied with that.

Holy cow-- there's someone just like you, or w/ a real similar story on another board who goes by "PiscesGirl"- she's from Fort Myers, FL.

You're right... when you're with them, you think, "gosh... why was I so worried and uptight? He's so into me!" I mean, you feel like you have all the power and control when they're right there in front of you. Then, when you part, the spell is broken... they don't call... so you call... no response. You try again after several days. Same result. If that's sufficient feeding for the ego, you usually can get a call back by then. But sometimes- not.

I mean, I'm a Capricorn so I can kind of relate and see what's going on here. But I only do this with my mom, sister, and some girl friends, all of whom will involve me in a long phone call and at times I'm just not up for it. I'm wanting solitude, and am not in the mood for catching up, so I avoid the call until I can be upbeat and talkative.

Yet, with men I'm interested in, I don't know that I'd treat them like that...But that's partly because I'm not anticipating some long drawn-out conversation either. I don't chat on the phone like your typical female might, especially to guys!

Who knows-- when the mind's turning things over this hard and this many times, you sometimes just don't want to deal anymore!

Capgirl
thanks for the response, i also have a couple of cap friends who are girls, and ok fine, doesn't bother me, quite frankly, I don't always get back to people right away either, etc, if i'm feeling crummy whatever. I also have a couple guy friends who are capricorns, but they're just friends, and hysterical to be with at dinner or clubs. so much fun. The problem lies in becoming involved with one romantically, entirely different story, and I for one, am not going to do it anymore to myself. As I said, in my experiences and a couple of my girlfriends with cap guys, they all do the same things. "I love you , I need you, I want you....gotta go" except they don't even tell you they're going, they just hide, until as i said, you give up and they sense it and ring ring.... all of a sudden they're calling as if they just called a couple of hours ago instead of a month or so. This one guy I've just gone out with for a very short time, said something last week that set off a gigantic flag in my head, hell! it wasn't a flag, it was humongous banner...he said, " I don't like to make plans, i like to be spontaneous" Now that seems harmless in a sentence but it's the same attitude that this other guy i agonized over for almost 4 years used to have. In my mind it's just another way of saying, "I'm not going to commit to anything in case something better comes up" He actually said, (the old guy) when you make a plan always have a back up plan. This was after he called me on a friday night around 9 said how'd you like to go out to this club in an hour? (This wasn't the first time he'd done this) I said, "if i get up and get all dressed and you flake out on me I'll kill you" he said no, I'll pick you up in one hour. so got all dressed in a hurry, make up on and all set, and he calls 45 minutes later and says "you know I think I'm just too tired"
Unfortunately this didn't stop me from wanting him, i had to go through a few more masochistic trials before i finally finally gave up and just said no and meant it. It just sucks. So this time, with this new guy( and believe me i was skeptical when i realized he was a capricorn) but I don't want to live my life that way, when he started after the wining and dining and then he knew i liked him to start pulling this same stuff i am just saying no no no, I'm not going to go down that road again. If he really wants me, he knows what to do and where I am, I'm so tired of all the game playing and analyzing and torment, it's just so not worth it.

dang anotherpisceswoman, you have been through some hell! I feel ya when u said back/forth for 3 1/2 years. I've only been with my cap for almost 8 mos and we've been back/forth a lot. Now we are sort of back together.

These caps do have a radar I see. Just when I thought mine was really moving on and grazing some other pastures, he unexpectedly called and wanted to see me. Of course I go running back like he didn't even flake on me the first time. How dumb am I? I really needed to stand up for myself, which I did in a way, but I still gave in to seeing him tho.

The kind of attitude I have now, is that if he wants me, he wants me, if he doesn't, then he doesn't. I'm not going to do all the chasing or try and get him to stay around. I will continue keeping my options open and if he loses then he loses. It will be his own fault.

CapGirl, when u said "It's really that same old dilemma of ... is this a nice, shy, hurt guy, who deserves the benefit of the doubt, or a player who has been messing w/ me? I'm sure we've all struggled with these thoughts." That is totally what I've ran into my head over and over again and still haven't figured it out. Could it really be a combination?

Capgirl, I still suggest that u should just contact him on his bday and see how that goes. If you think u will regret it and be upset if he doesn't answer, reply, etc. then don't do it. But if you will be ok with however it turns out, then by all means go for it. I know it sucks to never get some kind of response from them when u r just trying to be nice.

Capgirl, I have preached this a million times on the capricorn site but when it comes to cappies I really, really feel face-to-face communication is the best. A text implies that people can control responses and reactions, they can communicate by stalling as well. BUT when you see someone and say, "hey, happy birthday" you see their face and eyes, and their reaction. I have been with my cappy for 4 months and I have never, ever told him anything remotely serious via new technology, I sit him down and talk to him. He responds to it.

Can you see him on his birthday? Go for coffee or something?
I am a hopeless fan of communication...it has worked so well for me with my cappy that I just want to tell everyone!

I love sharing all this stuff with similar people with similar experiences, so glad i found this site. That said, I totally agree with the communication thing, and face to face etc, but...that said, my experiences have also given me i guess a very jaded perspective as to these guys. Yes I'm sure there are exceptions to the capricorn guys I've gotten involved with, they can't ALL be exactly the same, but it is truly amazing how similar a lot of their actions are. Whenever i did the communication stuff i either got great responses and felt so wonderful or total shut down which of course made me feel awful. Usually it would be the "what are you talking about? or turn it around...or "yes i know i have this intimacy problem and I'm working on it'...but the outcome no matter what they said was always the same, run away after BEING totally there at the moment and then acting puzzled when you wanted more. They always left me feeling "less than" not good about myself.I'm still sticking to my guns as far as this latest guy and I'll tell you it's really uncomfortable...I feel like I'm doing something wrong, and I'm a bad person, and I really should be more understanding and he's not a total creep, etc. That's the effect they have on me anyway. i start doubting myself. and i really am a nice person who is kind and giving and this is so out of character for me to be the one to break off ties. BUT, i really want to learn from prior experiences, most likely he couldn't care less, and is certainly not thinking about me 1/100th of how much i'm thinking about him. Most likely he's got some other victim. Speaking of birthdays, his was last week, and i did call him the night before and asked him what he was doing and would he like me to take him out for a drink etc. "I'll let you know, i might see my kids" so next day rolls around, sent a Happy birthday email and did not hear from him till saturday, and THAT was through an IM because he saw me online. and just one quick little mention of "thanks for the birthday jingle" So all I can conclude to quote that book, he's just not into me, and I'm not going to chase. but as i said in my previous messages, just when i'm out with another guy who IS really into me, he calls out of nowhere offering to make me dinner...RADAR...it's amazing. but again, i won't go down this road again, trying and trying to get the reserved secrective withholding guy to care, somehow they know just when to turn on the charm when they need to, and then poof! once they have you, they go away. Good luck Capgirl, but if it's been this long a birthday message might reconnect you or it might just be the ego-feeder he thrives on, don't know, but I try to remember that if they really wanted to be connected they know how to reach me, it's not like we live in Zimbabwe or something. we have phones, emails, cell phones, work phones etc.We are reachable and available and if they really cared they'd be acting on it.

I once spent time in Rhodesia, had a friend there her name was Gray she owned a farm. Had to leave many years ago went back to Wales to live wonder how she is doing?

ha ha ha OJ you freaking kill me!

APW~i have a few questions for you ...but i will get back to you later... thank you for all the insite!


thank you

green eyed gemini

any questions would be fine, have nothing to hide, actually i'm laughing a little right now, after reading all these things i keep thinking "wouldn't it be funny if these were some of the same guys?"
and old jake, i don't know you and as you know am new to this, but i guess you're the wise old cynic? who doesn't want to keep hearing all this complaining?

Hello to all. I know some of you know who I am and we have had discussions on the Cappy Issue. Let me say as of today, I have not seen my Cappy since Dec 23, 2005. I have cussed him out in his face, told him how I feel, gave him an ultimatume basically told him something has to change either we are going to be in a relationship or go back to being friends and if we are going to go back to being friends then I will start to see other people of course he said NOTHING, I told him I was shutting doing because I was unhappy and when I am unhappy, I don't care, I am not supportive, and I need to take a step back to get my emotions and feelings under control and put more padding on my heart because you are not going to hurt me. (something they are so used to doing to women )and it got me a "I'LL CALL YOU". Know let me go back a few before this all happened. He was tripping and started playing games, I used to pick him up in the morning and take him to work. well this particular day we spoke and he said I'll see you in the morning. The next day I called him and he did not answer his phone, nor did I just show up at his apartment, I called and left a message, well I am at work and the phone rings and it's him and he is like " why did'nt you pick me up and I was like why didn't you answer the phone and he was like why didn't you just come over, so I said "Don't do this to me" in such a tone that he just got off the phone well, at that point I was done, with him we were having some issues anyway and then for him to play this game I was furious and he knew it. Well he called me back and was like I am sorry and I said why didn't you answer the phone and he said nothing. He just said I want you to have a nice day and I got off the phone still in my mind I was not going to call him. Well on my way home from work he called and invited me over for dinner drinks etc. He got us both a drink and I said " you make the toast, you hav'nt made a toast in a long time" and he said "here's to a long long long relationship" I thought about it and then said "I'll drink to that" LOL. What made him do that was the fact that he had an emotional revalation he knew i was done and he had to do something to hold on to me. And ever since then things have gotton worst. he stop communicating stop spending time with me and the sex...was completed gone. Me being a Scrop you can't take the sex away. So I confronted him on the issue, I asked him are we every going to have sex again and he said "I don't know" well there I was. I flew back in my seat like a big baby started pouting and then It was on, him and I. That's when I started to not care, shut down and lost all respect. So when he said "I'LL CALL YOU" I was ok with that, but the thing that pissed me off was that fact that I was asking his azz for space, like a real women, and he got punked and said "I'LL CALL YOU" a punk azz way of being a men in my book. So I ran with it. I was not going to call and he knew it after a while because he called me on Dec 28, and asked me was I ok, am I alright and I tole him I was fine, never opened my mouth about seeing him or nothing. I refuse to play games with him. and he knows it....I have not spoken to him since. His b-day was Jan 7, 2006. I did not call him, and I don't care to call him. He knows that if he ever calls me or want to see me he needs to start talking. and I am not excepting anything less then a committement or a friendship. and he knows it. I read about how when he thinks that you think it is over he reals you in again spend some time with you and back off again. Well I am not doubting that but since we had this space it has given me enough strength to fight him back, and I say that because no man is worth any women, feeling stress or emotional about no man is worth any women having to change herself to be with him. etc. I refuse to bow down, be disrecpectful, used and taken advantage of by no man or women. And I know he is coming back an

Geez- this thread is blowing up! I had posted my latest over on MyCap's thread of "Taurus Woman..." PiscesWoman is right about them having radar, and calling just when you've slipped away and are moving on. That's what happened to me last night.ScorpionLady- you go girl; you know what is needed and how to play it. Wheretomylady, your advice helps alot too.

You have to keep watching out for yourself and just don't get too sucked in. Wheretomylady laid it out in numbered form in one of these threads. Have your own interests, keep dating and keep moving to your own beat. Just because you get a call, you see him, don't assume and don't expect. Keep your distance if you can't withhold expectations and getting hurt. I wasn't about to see him last night, and he hinted at it. I just ignored the question. Nothing's changed for me, and I can't be put in the position again of getting mad and hurt by his issues.

Anyway-- look out for #1, and see the big picture. He's not going to bend and submit to you at your pace, and it may never happen, so just don't count the weeks, months... years, and keep your lifeplan on track so that the time is not passing you by.

Ladys I appreciate all your responses. It really makes me feel good not about me being strong and dealing with this azz but knowing that we all understand what each other is going through. I know it is hard sometimes to get over a person that you really care about and don't get me wrong I believe these guys really care about us. And it's all about patience and understanding on both party's I have experience many relationship where it was one sided always me giving more than I received. I am 44 and my Cappy just turned 46 you would think that at this age we as adults would be more secure within ourselves and learn that the games need to stop at some point. As for me I am finish playing the games and what helps me get through this bs is remembering what I have been through before not with a Cappy but with any man and at this time in my life, I have enjoyed my single life and I really don't know if I want to be in a relationship. So me not seeing or talking with him is also allowing me find myself and decide what I really want and which ever way the ball rolls I will be prepared for the decision beit friends, lover, or in a committed relationship. I do know he is coming back I feel it. I am a scorpion and my instanct rarley fails me when I feel something strong you see when he called me and asked me was I ok am I alright that was just him checking up on me and when relized that I was not trippiong on the phone he has not called again so he probably relized that my attitude was whatever and made him not call anymore LOL.....that is fine.....but I refuse to bow to this man he had better hope I am still here when he comes back. I really and truly want to wait until he confesses his feelings and then leave him. but that is mean and it will make it harder for the next women that he meets. LOL Have a good evening...I am off to go flirt with my other Cappy friends....I LUV THIS.....LOL

scorpionlady

It was your first posts that blow my mind, way back in the Fall. I thought I was a) alone and b) that this was an unique experience I was going through.

It sounds like to me that your cappy really likes you, but 44 years old, thats a time in life when men are pretty settled in their ways, especially Earth signs. These guys only really show how much they feel when you either pull away or go on trips out of town.

You have been with your cappy for 2 years, right? ZDo you know each others family, or stay over at each others houses, go out on dates? Or has it been a friends w/benefits kind of deal?

I have met a real close cousins, all his brothers and his friends hung out with them, I have not met his sister she live in Alabama. Both his parents are deceased. I have not met his daughter, but I buy her presents and he give them to him to give to her I gave her a pink purse one day and told him to give it to her and he did but he did not tell her who gave it to her and he told me I told him that was ok, when it is time for me to met her I will let her know that it was me that gave her the stuff. I also gave her gift card to borders books because she like to read for her birthday. We are almost at 2 years, May 31 this year will be two years. I have been to his house spends the night cook, have folded his clothes went washing with him, to the grocery store, picks him up from work, we would go to the warft and get fish and he would cook it. watch the game on tv. We would be at his house and his phone would ring and he would tell his buddy that he is sitting here talking to me and he would let me speak to his buddies, etc. I know he really likes me I think he is in love with me and i know that he is just trying to find the courage to tell me how he feels and that is ok with me He can take all the time he needs I just hope I am here when he is ready. I have surpressed my feelings, he knows how I feel about the stuff he has done. and he knows that I am standinig my ground and if he wants this he has to come correct all the way. We started out as friends and just this year I guess you can say the last 7 months has brought us really close. He would come to my house and watch movies etc. I would cook for him. I have done a lot of supporting him where his work is concerned. He is 46 and I am 44. We both are stuck in our ways and we both are stubborn and that is why it is taking us so long to commit to a relationship. I like my freedom and space and so does he. We both don't trust easy and we both want loyalty and the love that we give to someone is very deep. I go all the way with love no tuning back. and he is not ready for that yet.

Well take is from me and I am keeping this real, enjoy the ride, keep your feelings to yourself, don't compliment them, because they don't compliment, rarely, I have been with mines for almost 2 years and got about 2 compliments, and a Clevage remark for wearing low cut blouses, (they love clevage). I have gotten a you have sexy legs, that is about it. they will cook for you, will not take you out much. They are home bodies, they lack communication and emotions and feelings, if they like you they will say it and that will not change. If you get to emotional and cry they will look at you like you are crazy. so don't ever cry. be honest and truthful about what every they have done to upset you let them know it if you don't they will take it for granted lay down the law about respect etc. And since you are dealing with one that lives out of town or travels my suggestion would be to continue doing what you are doing don't call him let him call you. IF he ask why you have not called let him know you have been busy and still don't call. You need to let these me do the chasing from the start I think that's where the most of us have made our mistake, we chased them fromt he begining so to help a sista out sista to sista these are some good men they are very patience and funny a dry funny they like women who are humorous mines told me that one day and I am a humorous person any way so that was a big step up. Just be honest with yourself and keep in mind that your morals and etigerity and dignity are first and for most in your life and don't lose it or drop it for him because he is not going to do that for you. Don't be afriad to say no and if you do something they don't like they will suspend you for a while or punish you and you will know that because they will not except any of your phone calls. they get depressed mainly because of lack of funds, very pessimistic, and of course aloof. So if you cappy men read this I am not going to apolize for putting it out there it's just that from reading these post and knowing that these men are like that we who are dealing with them should no better we all know there ways know or at least have an idea about them and we should act accordingly it is not to late for any of us to change the routine, they do not like change. and if any of you women have the guts to change then do it know. I should no I just changed and this is why I am not seeing him know. LOL. I am not mad or upset because I know my cappy loves me he just need to find some courage to tell me. These type of people surpressed there feelings until they have to say something and that when the patiences really come in because you don't know when they will have the courage and that's why I say live your life date other men what ever you do don't be availabe every time they call.

SL- You know it! I just wonder what I did to deserve 12 weeks of punishment?! I pressed him on his feelings, I suppose.

Yea... I just want to yell- "You know I'm perfect for you!! What the he!! is your problem??!" I feel like we're having a "relationship" at a distance, just touch-and-go, in case we find that we're not compatible, it's not so hard to walk away. Whatever... I'm more all or nothing. You take risks, knowing you might lose. The cautious, slow pace drives me batty. But they want the sex now, no slowness there. And I'd love to go **there** but it seems contradictory to do so.

I've been doing so much soul searching and introspection with all this cap men stuff, and have just come to one conclusion, at least for me, and I've spoken to a few people about this, including a therapist....for me at least it's time to "STOP THE MASOCHISM" which is what so much of this is about. I can only speak for myself but so much "what is he doing, what is he thinking, what will he do if I do this, blah, blah,blah" When did i start living his life instead of my own?? All this has done to me is lower my self-esteem, self respect and make me hate myself...for what—— A few crumbs here and there? I guess the point is that for me, I'm going to try really hard in 2006 to (Oh God, I hate to sound so sappy) but be my own best friend and not look to men or anyone else for my own self love.
I'm really pleased I found this site, it's given me a little courage to change things up for myself, knowing that hey! maybe it's not just me, or my fault etc like I always end up feeling.
I'm definetely going to keep checking in because it gives me such hope to know that I'm not the only one.
I'm not a teenager anymore, as a matter of fact I have three almost grown kids, been divorced many years, (Whole other long story) had my kids very very young and have a whole life ahead of me that I'd like to enjoy and not be bogged down by these controlling screwed up guys. The only reason I mention my kids is that one of mine is a Cap male, and I love him dearly because he is my son, BUT I swear that he has already demonstrated soooo many of these very same qualities of the same guys we're talking about. And i showered him with as much love, affection and attention as my other two kids who are different signs and very different people .
So as much as I don't want to live my life, or base my opinion of other people on their astrological signs, damn! there really does seem to be something in this.

pathfinder
you stated it all very clearly and correctly, you also stated "if you WANT him" and to be or not to be, that is the question.
I for one, do not WANT him or anyone else like him. I do not want to be afraid of letting someone know I like them (and I'm not talking stalker clingy stuff) just plain old "I like you" I have found that as soon as their chase is completed, ie: they know you like them, they run, even if you've slept with them or not, but esp if you have.
and no matter how much they may like/love you back, they will always run.
I even know a couple married ones or used to be married ones, who are still the same. their wives either just accept it, fight it, leave, cheat or go crazy. (Most of the married cap men I've known are unfaithful, I'm not even speaking of my own experiences but of other people I know)
So you hit it on the head, and I guess the choice is for myself to make up. Life is so damn hard as it is, I just don't have the time, energy or inclination anymore to play these games.
Thanks for your statements, yes they do things on their time, and quite frankly I feel it's very childish and immature.

Great insight, Pathfinder.

Pisceswoman, I think you need to just step back and get some distance from one or both of these Caps. I've gotten my distance and am not giving it up easily, bc. I will not have myself running in circles and pulling my hair out again. I was at where you are at, feeling the same way.