Ex Cap Shows Up Unannounced to Confess His Love

I am laying on my couch chillin when there is a knock at my door, who is it no on says anything so I say again and I heard his name. I got up open the door and to my surprise there he was. And the Convo when like this:

Me: Well hello
Him: Hi
Me: You are here because?
Him: I was on my way home and I saw your car so I decided to stop by
Me: Anddddddd you could not call?
Him: I forgot your number I only remember the last 4 Lie)
Me: Again you are here because?
Him: Are you home alone? Is your bf here?, Are married?
Me: Yes I am home alone, I don't have a bf, and no I am not married? Are you marreid?
Him: I am getting married(Lie)
Me: You getting married, well damn she must be the bomb, it has only been a year since we stop seeing each other and 1 yr later you are getting married, I find that hard to believe, one, you are to cautious and 2 you don't trust easy, I don't believe it...let me see the ring, I looked that ring and said "I seen that ring before" he said nothing.

Him: You know what we had was special, sitting at the table, talking laughing, eating, playing cards, and making love until late in the night, really meant a lot to me, dispite what our mutual friends might think, the feeling that you given me I have never had no one make me feel the way you did, I have never had no one make love to me the way you do
Me: I started laughing (having a backflash moment)
Him: Why you laughing?
Me: oh no I am laughing because I was thinking about it felt good I had to laugh
Me: And you love me
Him: Yes I love you
Me: wellI thank you that makes me feel good
Me: well I never stop loving you even thought you never believe me, that is why I find it hard that you are getting married. And when is the big day
Him: This weekend (lie)
Him: Come here Hug me
Him: You been thinking about me
Me: yea I think about you alot, hell I wrote you 4 letter (he starts to look around for them) I don't have them? where are they? I shredded them, why? because I could not give them to you. He then began to look funny.

So I say, So you are over here to bring some closure?
Him: Yes (lie)
Me: ok, well you know I thought I was going to be upset or mad at seeing you or hearing that you are going to get married but I am not I feel good and I am very happy for you. " I walk to him and put both my hands on the sides of his face and tell him I wish him well.

Him: Can I touch you
Me: why? you can't do that you are getting married that would not be right and I am not going to let you bring up old wounds and then walk out my door and I never hear from you again.

I told him that when I decided to walk away you agreed with me and if you did not want that then you should not have let me walk away he then starts to talk about how him and I had to much going on that is why he let me walk. Then I said well if you want this then you need to get it back but then again you are getting married so that won't happen. I tell you what if things don't work out in your marriage and I am still available then call me.


He begin to sigh like I am frustrating him and then we stood toe to toe looking into each others eyes and I'm not moving he's not moving we are staring each other in the eye I tell him here is your stuff, I wish you well and take care of yourself.

Then he did one more sigh and I opened the door and he was walking down the stairs and looking up at me and he said again I love you.

Have I called him yet? NO
Am I gonna call him? NO

He wants me he needs to come and get me. I can't do all the work no more.

LOL...hehe...dear oh dear...

It was inevitable really wasnt' it.

yea it was.....MM

I feel good, I am still in shock you might say but to give in now would be something that he is looking for and I can't do that.

Well I did say to him that, "I could not do what you expected me to do" and he said what was that? and I said nothing (another lie)

I got his shit pegged and like I said before I will give him hell. Not because I don't love him or dislike him because I really do care for him but I just can't go out like that. If he really loves me he will come and get me if not then it will no longer be my lose it will be his...because he has confirmed what I already knew...He loves me. I just needed to hear him say it.

Thanks BT, but I think I got him where he needs to be...again if he wants me then he really is gonna have to do some serious work.

My feelings are so in control and I could never allow him to get me there....I

I am not over him, I am doing what he is doing putting my feeling in check. I never said I did not love him I do.

I love a challenge and me knowing all that he could possibly do and watching him play every card he got until he has no choice but to break, then he will possible have me.

I know he loves me but I REFUSE to play his game, and I know he has played this game on many women. I also know that the only reason he came knocking was because he is either tired of the other girl so he is going to go MIA, or he just broke it off, he is really getting married, but he can't hurt me like that. My guards are up.

Hi SL,

WOW, this guy reminds me of someone ...hehe, I just can't think of who it is 😉

Honestly, I wouldn't even be bothered anymore. It seems that things are still too deep for you to be friends with the guy -- especially if he is asking to "touch" you!!! WHAT! and he's getting married this weekend —

The guy is about as day old socks in my opinion.

Whooaaa... This is sounding really familiar... Did you read my latest bit, SL, under "Another Chapter" thread?

Do you know then that he is lying about getting married? Or you're not sure? Either way... he is trying to screw that up and find a way out, by coming back to you; or he is taking a huge risk/gamble and lying to force you to drop to your knees in a quivering mess. Whichever it is, it is some f-ed up behavior.

These guys never learn just WHO they're dealing with...and that we have too much pride to be played like that to go running after and chasing a LOST CAUSE! They put your self-esteem and pride to the ultimate test, perhaps not intentionally, and their stupid antics just end up costing them the love of a strong woman.

Of course are feelings are to still to deep CS, he and I both know that. But again, I am ok I can handle this all I needed was that one encounter and I got it and I did not have to struggle to maintain it just came I looked in is eyes and I saw nothing sincere except for the love he has for me.

I am not being bothered, I have not called him this happened on Friday it is know Monday I have not desire to call him because I know he will be back and I will still be here....giving him Hell

I am not making an effort to do NOTHING. He is either gonna come clean or leave me alone and forever feel like crap because this is one women that he can not run game on.

My armour is on tight and I am ready.

"They put your self-esteem and pride to the ultimate test, perhaps not intentionally, and their stupid antics just end up costing them the love of a strong woman"

And that is what's going to happen to him.

Trust me when I say I am ready...and CapGirl you have been around the whole time..I needed those 10 months because that's what helped me time time time time to gain more strength he took to long to come back, and the determination kicked in and all the things that I have read kick in and he became totol SUSPECT.

This one on him.

Caps and Scorps usually have a strong and powerful connection -- much like caps and virgos/ virgos and scorps.

However, they just have to over come all the BS before anything real can form.

~sigh~

right CS I see that know....I am over the games he needs to stop and come clean. And they say when they get older the change I don't see it.

He really needs to be stung. ha ha ha ha that's what I will do poke him here and there ha ha ha ha ha

"When a guy prompts drama, he wants you to show your cards."

That is the best and most succinct way I've ever seen this put, BT! And these Cap men, or these "type of men", are known for pulling this hardball tactic. Mine has done it time and time again, just waiting and looking for the reaction after delivering the blow. I am sure that's why his latest bombshell was delivered via telephone call too and not by a simple, less dramatic email (which most normal guys would do to AVOID the potential drama of having a female upset with them)- to get the immediate reaction in my voice- bc. he knows how well I can contain my emotions through written communication.

SL~ Any way you can confirm his BS?

"Do you know then that he is lying about getting married? Or you're not sure? Either way... he is trying to screw that up and find a way out, by coming back to you; or he is taking a huge risk/gamble and lying to force you to drop to your knees in a quivering mess. Whichever it is, it is some f-ed up behavior."

Well I could have sworn I saw that ring he was wearing before. And as a scorpio I looked at it and I felt that it was a lie, my gut feelings told me. and that fact that he could not actually say marriage he was stumbling with it. So I keep say "when you get married" and he would say "yea yea".

So no I don't believe..he is either waiting for me to make the next move or trying to figure out who to get this love relationship we had back.

Well, that's just odd as if he's not yet married, he shouldn't be wearing a ring anyway? Hell, the mere fact that he shows up at your door to have this talk is in and of itself enough proof that he's trying to pull something and is looking for something.

I'll admit that I've considered pulling the same crap myself w/ this Cap. bc. I've gotten fed up with the drawn-out game and wanted to either just "win" or get him off my sh*t once and for all, and have considered lying and saying I'm engaged... getting married in... x month. And I AM a Cap. remember... yet a sensible and rational enough one to know that that is a huge gamble/risk and could seriously backfire and be a permanent loss.

Is he a 3rd decan Cap. (i.e. mid-Jan.)?

He is Jan 7, I am Nove 9,

Yea it was a gold band with diamonds in the middle...I tell you I seen it before at his house and he had on a gold chain with a cross on it and I stood then and turned is chain around the right way and was like there you go.

Well I would go with the latter and believe that his plan backfired...

You see I did not mention that he was also drunk as hell....(Confidence) We were standing and looking at each other and I said have you been drinking? and he said yea and he ask me if I had anything to drink I gave him a beer.

I personal think that he said he was getting marrried because he wanted to see my expression (did not work)

And then he went to the let me touch you bit so that he can touch me in all the right places and then I break (I stopped him)

So I think everything he tried it backed fired and that's why he was sighing alot and look frustrated as hell.

I believe it and would not put it past these guys. There's so determined to keep their walls up and protect themselves while at the same time want you to be an emotional wreck to prove your love. I like what you said about "I'm happy for you." Same exact thing I told mine, although I had to get it in check and follow it up w/ an email to give him well wishes and a proper send off. lol You are the WOMAN if you had this joker in front of you pulling this number! I don't know what I've done or how I'd have handled it.

Capgirl

Every strength in my being kick in when I opened the door and saw his face..I was shock but I had so many questions and he made the biggest mistake my coming to me face to face....guilt lie and everuything else was written on his face. I never screamed or hollored nothing I kept my cool and never let him touch me. But I was right, this happen on friday and he has not called...so if I would have had sex with him, would he be calling know, I don't know but I was not willing to take that chance and upset my emotions.....

And yea I read your post...damn girl, so if he calls you are you gonna talk to him? if he ask you out are you gonna go?

He won't call me anytime soon, SL... I said in my email at the end that I would probably talk to him sometime in '07, which made it clear that I would not be chasing him further. Knowing him... he will not cave before then either. I thought the same too in hearing about this "move in"-- that he would have only known this girl a year and would not be that quick to trust or give up his freedom. He also screwed up his story by saying that she was building a house... and I find it highly unbelievable that he'd move all of the stuff that he owns twice within a matter of a couple months. But hey, he's "made his bed" and I'll let him lie in it. He's "dead to me now" since hearing that he is living with someone!

Yea go on and live your life girl....he will probably be back just be ready for him that's all.

Well this one told me that also...a lot of things we talked about I did not put in this thread but he did tell me he moved. (He only lives like 5 min from me) and I have never detoured to his house, but when he told me he moved I was tempted to see for myself but I could not bring myself to do it.....I don't believe that he moved because when I asked him he said nothing. (lie).....I think all this time he has been coming throught my complex seeing if my car was there and just so happen and 2:30 in the afternoon on a friday I am home and so is he. Hell I wonder if he is still doing his full time job....He has a new cell also and the work cell but I never asked for the new cell number...I don't need it...

Keep me/us posted, SL. I mean, how do these guys think they can back-track out of these lies or situations now, if they're using it as a manipulative tactic? They'll look like fools to try to say any time soon that these "relationships" didn't work out when they've taken it to the level of "marriage" and a "move-in"! So, your Cap. was drinking at 2:30 in the aftn.? I questioned mine when we talked about that same time on Thurs. as to whether he'd already started drinking bc. he was being so boisterous/ obnoxious, and was on his way to a sports bar.

Weird coincidences here betw. us, or is the universe trying to speak to us?? LOL Heck, I know he's been busy doing something during all these months, but then leave me the hell alone if he's so happy and not into me, ya know? 😉

I need to take lessons from you in being strong 🙂 I wish I could do that!

Remember my Cap friend? Well him and I are going into business together...Theres no way I would run round after him whether he liked me as a friend or more than a friend I am glad it didn't work out..things always happen for a reason..we are much better as friends..I don't have the time or the respect for someone who can't openly admit how they feel about someone..theres shy and reserved types but jesus christ nobody is holding a gun to the guys head or anything..Anyways enough of that..I trust and care for him as a friend..in the short space of time we did speak..(well a year) we have become very close..

He said I trust you so much and theres nobody else out there who I want to go into business with..so fingers crossed, in a couple of months time, we are taking the first step.

That sounds good, MM 🙂

Now I know that you can fall in love with your friend, too. That happened to me 🙂

LOL @ SS

No, once I've decided that person will only be a friend..thats all they ever are!..The thing is I lost respect for him when he point blankly refused that he'd done something wrong as to leading me up the wrong path..when he clearly did...When I lose respect, hell has more chancing of freezing over than me ever forgetting that and trying for anything further...So theres no chance of him and I being more than friends..

Besides I am actually with someone now and he knows it too.

Hows things with you SS? Still holding out for that Scorp?

Yes first step towards business Cap!..lol

Respect is everything for me...I told him exactly what I thought of him..didn't speak to him for weeks..and he came back apologising saying he didn't mean to do what he did and now he knows its wrong etc...So I thought, what the heck he was a good friend at one point..We are cool...

It's good you have someone who makes you happy, MM..

Me? Nah, not that one anymore. Something new came along, just too early to say anything yet.. lol

Yes SS...its a fellow Scorp!..lol..I love them..

So your new one? what sign is he or haven't you asked him that yet? poor guy will probably freak out!..lol

Hmmm.. 😉 I've known his sign all the time. See, we have been friends for some time already. Then suddenly it happened.. He's the same as you, MM 🙂

LOL...welcome aboard...LOL..hope you enjoy the Scorpionic ride...

Its good that you guys were friends first..always the best way..

well thank you.. I hope so too.. lol.. And yes i think it's a good way to become lovers 🙂

Well to be honest, I did call him out of curiosty LOL...and asked him again to make sure, well the phone connection was bad and he kept calling me back, then when we finaly did get connected he said "you call me" and I said "yea, I just call to see if you really got married" he did not answer and then I said or was it just a lie, and he said in an attitude like way...."Yea I am married" and I said well if you insist then I will never call you again take care and hung up.

I still believe he is not married, we both have some of the same mutual friends, eventually I will find out.

Scorpian lady I am sorry for your distress. I am storngly believe that he has made the biggest mistake of his life. I sense that he knows this also, and he is prepared to deal with it. You on the other hand had come to terms and are dealing with this the way a strong and confident woman would. I love how you handled him and I wish you luck in love. You are definitely a confident and radiant woman and you deserve te best.

SL~ Keep sleuthing. It'd prove alot if he's lying... that would tell you so much! But you already got the ILY, so be happy in that. 🙂 I have some loose ends of PI work to do myself but haven't followed up yet. LOL Mine is supposedly w/ a Virgo, and how long you think that's gonna last before she starts driving him batty? hehe I'm onto a Leo at the moment... Any thoughts on them, SL? I'm liking it so far! 😉

Thanks,

iknowhesmine84-

I am not distress, I have moved on,

If he is married, that would make the 2nd guy that I have dated up and married and then realize they made a mistake. Hey that is there loss is all I can say.

The first guy was a Virgo and he called like a week after he got married and said he think he made a mistake oh well I said...but to this day I still speak with him on occassions and he still love me, but he is very unhappy. I guess the 3rd will be the charm.

So until then I will continue receiveing benefits from my Aries friend. The most fun.

Capgirl-
I don't know to much about leo men but the women dam, they need to much damn attention. My nephew is a leo and to me I think he is shady a miser, and always want to get over, but that is my opinion don't take it personal, LOL

SL, Leo women do need attention although it's really easy to please us. Scorpio women are more complicated, I would say. :-) I was wondering why you would think your Cap was lying? Seems like a huge thing to lie about, no? And if he were lying about that...then phew, good for you for getting rid of him!

CapGirl, enjoy the warmth that is Leo. At least you'll always know where you stand.

I am looking forward to some HOT fire, LWCA! LOL I actually took a compatibility quiz recently, and the #1 sign for me was Leo. I have a Sag. moon which could be a large part of it.

I can relate to why SL would doubt his truthfulness. I have witnessed my Cap. guy do and say some dumb things out of nervousness, insecurity, alcohol and desperation. He's taken similar "calculated risks", thinking it will get him the info. he's looking for or the reassurance he needs. When the woman is stronger than they realized or bet on, and she doesn't fold/cry/beg/plead, he ends up the loser and has to walk away. Because I would hate to delude myself and there is that possibility, I would just assume he's telling the truth though so that you're not throwing yourself into his crazy antics/games... And then if and when he comes back AGAIN, you can really confront him w/ WHAT do you WANT? You're married/ living with someone, etc. He's boxed himself in to his own situation or lie either way, such that he cannot just come casually calling now. 😉

2-3 years later I run into the cap at a party that one of our mutual friends. Well I did not know that he was going to be there. I go downstairs and he is the first person I see and I quickly turn and start talking to someone. He gets up leave and comes back and says to me "hey. V how you doing? I turn around and say hey and taps him on the shoulder he goes back to sit with his wife, yes he really did get married.

The night moves on and we meet again in the kitchen and he says so V how have you been I say fine and then say oh let me give you a hug. Then he says "how is your son? Fine I say then he says " are you married?" I say no we talk about something else and he says to me again "you not married" so I say aren't you married? He said yea so I say why are we having this convo? You are married we should not be having this convo and the he says ok says take care of youself you look good. I say tank you have a nice night.

So we partied in the same room he never said another word to me but I felt him looking at me all night. Crazy

Well he and his wife get up and leave he never said goodbye and I did not make an issue or tried to say goodbye to him.

I am glad that is over for good. This story is closed for good.

So later that night I ask the owner of the "why didn't you give me a heads up so that nit walk into this blinded. He said V I am sorry I forgot I tod my wife to call you and tell you so I say its all good I am not mad this is done deal, he said you ok I say I am fine this is over hopefully he don't think he can even been friends