Gemini guy, confused by Capricorn woman

Heres my situation..Im asking this on the Cap forum so I may gain some much needed insight into this intriguing but complicated sign.
Im crazy about her, have been for a while now and I tend to think she likes me too though we havent verbalised it. Cant even get her off my mind now.
At first I noticed she would try to gain my attention,this was when it was new and we didnt know each other. When we finally got to talking, the connection was there and it was strong for me, not too sure about her. She was really hard and cold in the beginning, but then she opened up and would actually initiate contact, though she felt I called her too much and thus was ruining the mystery as she put it.
We were meant to go out on fridat night, we had agreed and planned things, only for her to ditch me at the last minute claiming she had to organise something for an upcoming show and that she'd call me later, she never did. Im trying to understand why she would be so confusing? Im not a demanding person and cant force her to spend time with me, but what bothered me was the lack of consideration for me. Why couldnt she just say she couldnt make it so I could salvage whats left of my friday? Is communication an issue for Capricorns, did she forget about me? I know Capricorns take their time with someone, but how cruel can someone be that they just leave you hanging. Tried calling her just now and she didnt pick up like always. So Capricorn women, whats gives here?

Now in all honesty it does seem that she's a bit inconsiderate. Even her telling you that calling too much ruins the mystery is a bit rude and forces you to go against your nature, of wanting to talk or hear from her, which isn't a good thing. She'll eventually wear you down and make you angry with her slight complaints and inconsideration.

In all honesty, although you may like her, it sounds like the two of you are not compatible. Of course any two people can make any relationship work if they are willing. You seem willing, but im not sold on her. Compatibility is a lot easier in situations like this.

If I don't answer a call its because I'm with someone else at that moment. I will call you back, but it might be the next day.

i have never been a "flake". I'm pretty grounded. We are earth ya know.

Warning! I was married to a Gemini man for 18 years. He smothered me. I grew to resent it. In the beginning I was okay with it because it proved he loved me. But, it got to be beyond trust and became very irritating to me. In the long term, I was too cold for him. Too distant. He didn't manage money well, didn't display responsibility to my definition of responsibility, was too needy, etc. DID NOT MAKE A match made in heaven. LOTS of problems.

I speak to her a couple times a week, maybe even once a fortnight.
I wish I didnt feel this way, wish I could take a pill and forget everything but the idea of a future together is too great to ignore.
It seems like this is a power issue. She told me she has to be in control, which is a cap trait..Im a Gemini, I dont care to be in charge of anyone. Id actually be happy if she wore the pants in the relationship and had all the control, my Gemini nature does not allow me to make good financial and life decisions. We dont go about life the way other signs do, we change with the weather and environment and thus need a good strong anchor sign to tie us down..

She gives me just enough attention to keep me around, then she quickly takes it away. Thats why I feel this is a control issue, she wants to exert her power and dominance over me..Its like she's playing a game, dangling something in front of me then taking it away so she remains in my mind. I feel everything weird she has done has been a test.

She does this a lot..she comes on strong, then takes it all away leaving me wanting more and more..so it seems like a game of sorts. She can call yes, but not too often. In the beginning she would take my calls then as time went on she would, sometimes at the very first ring. Im a Gemini so I dont stay mad for long, even now Im seeing things from her perspective kinda and understand in a way. I wonder if its all calculated and shes conscious of what shes doing or is she oblivious and aloof to the point she sees nothing wrong in her actions? thanks for the input.

She finally got back to me and just said she didnt have her fone.

She finally got back to me and just said she didnt have her fone.

Good advice WL. Being yourself is definitely the best thing you can do.

Caps do get busy and distracted. I always intend to call back, but when I remember then timing is bad. When timing is good, I get distracted and forget. I said earlier that if I didn't answer, I was with someone else. That is true, but sometimes its because I left my phone somewhere or was at an event where I couldn't answer (like a school meeting). I'll either respond with a text or the above happens.

Then, again, sometimes I don't call back because I really didn't want to talk to that person.

Her body languages reads that shes interested, and shes introduced me to her best friend but shes so erratic I never know whether shes coming back or not. Plus I dont like expressing my love verbally, Im a good speaker but I find it corny.plus shes very good looking so I imagine shes hearing guys telling her they love her daily. Id rather show it, but I never get the chance since shes always so busy but Id like to think shes warmed up in the time weve known each other.

I understand a person gets busy, but not speaking up and leaving people in the dark is so wrong lol..it wouldnt hurt to say youre busy and see me in a couple days or something.

I can't throw stones because I am guilty of not always returning calls but this is a whole different level of disrespect. I mean, forget the missed calls, unreturned calls, etc.. The fact that she said, "you calling yoo much it ruins the mystery" is a big big big red flag. Read between the lives. She just isn't feeling you BUT, she probably isn't going to tell you because she doesn't want you to completely walk away......in case she needs you later. This has nothing to do with being a Capricorn, it's called being a w(b)itch. I'm just being honest. I know because I've done this to men in my young and dumb age and actually thought it was cool.

Posted by capgirl75
And when/if you tell her, tell her nicely. Do not get emotional over it. Simply state that you feel that it is rude of her to blow you off like she does, and that you can understand that she is busy or if she needs space, but you would appreciate a heads-up first.

She said you text too much, ask how much is acceptable to her. For me, generally 1-3 times a day is more than enough, even every other day.

Whatever you decide to do, be predictable. We thrive on routine. Try a specific time of day, morning, lunch, after work, whatever, just be consistent.

As crabby as we are about the gushy emotional displays, when we ARE into someone we are ALL in, so if he has to ask her how much to text that's a clear sign that she's not into him. IMHO

She did text and we spoke a bit, but generally in the past she stated we were too early to be doing the constant communication thing because we are not a couple..she felt it implied we were dating if we were always on the phone together, fine, so I backed off. the next time we speak Ill tell her everything that is inside me.

Posted by GemiGem
She did text and we spoke a bit, but generally in the past she stated we were too early to be doing the constant communication thing because we are not a couple..she felt it implied we were dating if we were always on the phone together, fine, so I backed off. the next time we speak Ill tell her everything that is inside me.

So....forget about her for a minute. What do YOU want. If you are looking for a friendship, then I suppose she will do (*if you like friends who treat you this way*). But if you are looking for a relationship, then look elswhere buddy. She's made her position clear on the matter. Wait, are you thinking that you will back off to give her space after her "constant communication" comment and hoping that "in time" she will warm up to a relationship?!?!




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Where's ellessque when we need a good shoulder shaking?

GemiGem! I signed up to this site just so i could reply to you! Im a cap woman and let me tell you right off the bat based on what u said so far she is playing games with you and you dont know the rules! No my dear it is not a power thing as u think it might be, it is either she's not interested in u the way u r interested in her and just keeping you around as a back up, OR shes putting up a front and acting as if shes not until you tell her what she needs to hear and make her feel reassured and convinced youre the one she should take a chance with. Hiwever, if a cap woman is really interested she would not behave the way you described. Although we are hard to win over we know exactly what we want and are usually clear about things we want and it doesnt take forever for us to know.

Im curious to see what happened since u last posted on here. Im sure things mightve changed since then. Plz let me knw!

Let me first say this. I am neither a Gem nor a Cap, but my GF is a CAP and I can FULLY relate to your experience. My Cap did all of the same things you??re writing. During our courting process my CAP flaked, made plans and changed them at the last minute. Was inconsiderate, took forever to return calls ETC. So, I really disagree with the others on this thread that say this is not a CAP women trait. Because, it really is! My Aunt is a CAP and she does the same things. Of course no one can say all CAPS are the same but it seems like the one you??re dealing with is a lot like my GF. What's this CAP??s Birthday you are dealing with? You really should start calling her out when she does these things. Tell her how inconsiderate she was. Or how you thought yall had plans to do something and he flaking is pretty messed up. You were looking forward to hanging out and were stoked on kick in it. ETC! If you don't speak up, she will keep doing what she's doing. I had to check my girl often and still have too. She still acts like a brat, but now she knows I don't play that shit and when she realizes she is being a brat or inconsiderate, she apologizes. Most of those things won't change, so if you want her remember that. It doesn't mean she can't change though. We all are and should be a work in progress. Forget, what people say about letting her go. If you want her keep trying till you know for sure it won't work. But, that's my Scorpio talking! Because, I was done with my GF a couple times, so I thought. Now I'm mad hype I stuck it out. We wouldn't be so happy right now if I listened to other people or just gave up cause she pissed me off. She needs someone with a backbone that will speak up when they don't like something. Even if it doesn't work out she will at least know you are not a push over /doormat.

Excuse typos

Posted by GemiGem


she felt I called her too much and thus was ruining the mystery as she put it.

Posted by From2day2


based on what u said so far she is playing games with you and you dont know the rules!

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She a player bro, and she wants you to play the game to make her chase you. Your giving everything up too soon. You are killing the mystery and killing the fun for her and deading your chances. It's the classical PUSH PULL game... The purpose of PP is to build attraction...