How long does it take to say I Love you?

That's right ladies (and gentlemen) 11 months together and still no I love you....question- Does this mean he doesn't love me and never will, or is he just a yellow bellied coward?

Can't wait to hear what you have to say

You know 11 months is like 3 months is Cap. man time, right? lol I've long ago voiced my opinion on this... if you're feeling it, thinking about it, and it's bothering you, put ego aside and put the love out there first. Toss the rules and take a chance. You may never get one of these types to verbalize that sentiment via those 3 words unless you get the ball started somehow.

Hey actions speak louder then words 🙂 So you can determine whether or not he loves you by his actions.

why not try asking him what he feels about saying the phrase. personally, there's a lot of meaning in the word 'love' for me. more than the word even indicates these days. i'm going on 5 months in a relationship and i dont feel like im ready for it yet. i'll know when the feeling is there. love needs a strong foundation of things like truth and worth, not time. however, those things just happen to take time.

LOL @ BT...aww..well you missed the boat there love..you should've just kept your mouth shut!..**rolls eyes**

I would rather have the ILU after several years of being together so you can see the weight behind the statement..not just throw those words around like anybodys business!

Caps take love seriously; almost too seriously sometimes. Time and patience are key; but actions do speak louder than words so take notice how he treats you. One would assume there has been progress since when you first started dating.

How long does it take to say I Love you?

less then a week 🙂

LOL @ Eliza

lonely capricorn
Of course when we broke up, he took the words back.

How do you say ILU and take it back....that shit is funny LOL

I used to tell my ex all the time ILU and one day I asked does it bother him and he said no. I never asked to hear the words from him, I was ready to say it I said it, know when he gave me a valentine day card he did sign it and had a heart with an arrow through it and told me to figure the answer out. I never gave him and answer to it but I knew he cared a lot for me and the day he fell in love he was ready to poof and I broke it off. LOL

LOL...dear oh dear..the cycle continues...Friends -> confusion - > Lovers -> POOF - > THE END

when i first met my cap and we were dating he was so affectionate and kept saying i was beautiful, he was really falling for me etc...now, 5 months or so on, and nothing! I sometimes wonder to myself did i actually dream the things he used to say to me then!! LOL

well he says that he likes to show how he feels but i have sense figured out that that may be a cop out, I have heard him say I love you to his parents over the phone....he is not showing them, but telling him! I think that words are important to me in this regard, sure showing is great but it takes courage to look someone in the eye and tell them how you feel, its ballzy and ballzy moves carry alot of weight in my humble opinion.

Well the longer he takes the longer my stubborn taurus self waits...

Yes its all about the ACTIONS!!!!!

Caps can't say it in words its a sign of weakness, maybe in a song I can only say I love you in a song?

Well I guess thats better than nothing..Are you sure serenading isn't seen as a weakness too? I mean it means you would have to look foolish for a bit? Can you cope?

Cap, I'm just curious..what sign was the guy you couldn't profess your feelings to?

I've only been in love once, with my ex Scorp, and it took me 2 years (yes, people!) to say "I love you" to him although I felt it way before...and even when I said it, it wasn't direct...but he knew what I was feeling. After that, it became easier to tell him how I felt.
But he was worse, it was like pulling teeth for him to say it, although he showed me thru actions.

You're so right, archer! Some people throw around those three words around like dirty underwear, and it takes away the significance.

"ditto"....
I wonder if Sam Wheat (Patrick Swayze's character in Ghost) was a capricorn. He never said, I love you. But he did show it.
My bestfriend any my daddy were Cap's and they never told me " I love you". But they would show me. Like my daddy, when I moved back home after college (yeah, it took a while to get a 'real job and get settled after I graduated). He would leave me fresh cut flower's and grapefruits in the morning cause he knew I loved that. It was even hard for my dad to hug me. It was me that initiated it (cause I'm so affectionate), but he loved that I hugged him. & my daddy would have my gas tank full, my oil changed, my tires rotated and air adjusted,and a rifle ready to shoot any guy that showed interest in me(lol...maybe that's just a dad thing).

LOL @ Eliza

LOL...im serious 😛

"the gem i referred must have said it around 1000 time to me around every one standing and all the group present, so all of us in group got real comfortable and took it as joke..

2 weeks ago i needed migraine medicine and i went to his place, (he lives nearby) and he was not there, so i left a little note and came back..... next evening he came and gave me a duplicate set of his house keys in case next time i need any thing at all.. all from aprt building entrance to his closet..... and i knew not what to say...."

Wow, is that typical of a Gem?

thats so sweet, JD. no doubt that meant a lot to her.

LOL @ "afterall scorps are supposed to posess extra-ordianry-mental-wavelength detectors"

i agree, JD. but i can at least say for myself... it is such cathartic release to be able to say it, and knowing i've said it. hearing/saying such nice words is another dimension in experiencing those feelings. as a cap who sometimes has trouble enough expressing my emotions... take away my ability to say it, and i'm almost dying to let it out as quickly as it grows, cuz the feeling builds up fast.
however, i do believe it teaches me how to show my feelings in other ways. it's a good thing.

Saying I lov you is like saying your sorry, its a sign of weakness.

weakness in the sense that you are at a weak point. vulnerable. and because of that, i think it's more a sign that a person is at least capable of great strength.

say your with a woman and you are almost ready to have a great moment. And you know you are in love you say to your self that for the next half hour you are sure you will be in love. should you tell her that you love her. Because you know in 45 min you may not be as much in love as you are right then , You may be falling out of love in 45 min. and you are sure the next morning you will be out of love. Its very hard to be in love for more than half an hour.

a lot of people i know define 'love' and 'in love' differently. 'in love' resembles a verb and 'love' is more constant. errr... does that make any sense?

i think it all depends on your regard for your feelings on love. if you cant handle the way loving someone else makes you feel, then ya... it can most definitely become a weakness with that attitude. however, if you're confident and self-assured in your feelings... you dont need the reciprocation of the same affection from the person you love, then saying 'i love you' shows strength.

JD~"I'm looking forward to next January, can't help it !"

Oh JD honey.. You really are taking it very slowly.. But you sound so sweet.. 🙂

I think you can feel when someone likes you, but it's difficult to say when that turns for loving. I say I love you if I really love someone and I say that after my guy has spilled it out first. I'm not playing games, I'm just being naturally cautious with guys.

Do you really like her? I mean like are you interested in her? If you are then you gotta do something..

Yeah, I agree with you, JD.. Besides you can have dreams, no one knows and dreaming is good too.. I sometimes spend some time dreaming..lol That's crazy but I need that too.. 🙂

Today I have been dreaming of that stranger I met last weekend.. Wet dreams.. lol Such a good kisser and not just that also very handsome.. ahhh.. That's the best, I can dream about him and he doesn't even know that.. lol I wonder what's his sign??.. If I ever see him again I'm never gonna ask that though..

"If you were to meet him how much of how you feel about him would you tell ? in percentage."

Oh, that depends on how drunk I'll be next time.. lol I already told him I loved his eyes. That's kinda strong expression even from me. I probably would just enjoy kissing with him again.. 😉 I would save the words to the future..

The funny thing is that now I don't even remember what he looks like.. I still remembered some things yesterday.. I guess it's early dementia.. lol

"you don't plan on seeing him again"

No, I don't plan anything but if I ever get to see him again, then I'll just go with a flow. You know I only have had 2 guys who I felt good to kiss with. He was the other one of them.. 🙂

"Shortyrock he was a scorpion.....I told him that I liked him but never was able to tell him to what extent.But he was the only one I truely loved.....the guy you likes was also a scorp...Seems like cap girls can only love scorp men.Its been ages taht I am away from him but I still like him or rather love him...."

"I think between Caps and Scorps a lot can be left unsaid. if all not said at initial stage"

Goodness, how true are these statements!!! What is it?! It's dreadful, to say the least! Why can't we just be expressive! I find that the Scorp & me are both holding back, know what I mean?! We BOTH are afraid to tell the other how we feel because we're afraid to be too vulnerable; it's crazy!! Both of us know what the other is feeling...but we just won't say it. It's so hard. I think if either of us break it, it'll be me because I think I am the more expressive of the two. It sucks sometimes having the stigma of a non-expressive CAP! Ugh!

Yes shortyrock it is unfortunate they can't express it. Today I was telling my cap friend that one of my friends (male) has invited me to his house for dinner and he fires back with "and your going alone?, just be wary, take someone with you" So I replied "erm, he's a friend and he's married with 2 kids, why should I be wary, what could he possibly do" so he replied "just take someone with you plz, for me" so I asked him why and he replied "don't know just what I am thinking and feeling at the moment, so plz, just go with someone and not alone"...at that point I didn't ask him anything further..As I think both of us understood why...but neither can speak about it..touchy subject you see!..For god sakes!..

Hey MM, it sounds like your Cap friend has a case of the non-expressiveness, too. LOL! What is taking him so long to realize his feelings?! Are U going to follow his intuition?
I once read somewhere that there is a psychic understanding between a Cap and Scorp, and very profound and deep transformation could evolve if it becomes a solid relationship. I think we both have to work on communication, though. But now I wonder if we have such issues communicating and expressing our emotions because of this "psychic" understanding? Could it be that we're unable to verbalize it, but because of our intuition we feel what the other is feeling and there is no need to verbalize it?
I really hope I just made sense, lol.

I agree with GB, but I wouldn't wait 6 months. I think you should know in a quite early stage when it's love and when it's not. But I haven't experienced love that starts with friendship, that feeling is always there when I meet someone or it never will be..

Shortyrock - "I once read somewhere that there is a psychic understanding between a Cap and Scorp, and very profound and deep transformation could evolve if it becomes a solid relationship"

Yeah this is so the case. My cap friend and I are not pursuing each other anymore..well I don't know about him but I am certainly not. It was very intense for the first 10 months, constant contact every day all day..I told him how I felt very mildly in an email (I am not that great at expressing emotions) about a month ago and he couldn't express his feelings, was happy to continue under a "friends" tag when his actions were on the contrary. So I decided its best if I don't talk to him anymore. But we always end up arguing and speaking about something. Its a love/hate thing. If its meant to be it will be. I don't think about it anymore. Then he makes statements like the one above..I just take it with a pinch of salt and move on.

I don't care much for I Love you..I think its a rather fake statement and people just throw that term around like anybodys business these days..Actions speak volume.

so the cap and I had a really good talk on the weekend, and I think I finally have it all figured out. He is a pretty sensitive person who has been hurt before, so yes, he is a coward, scared and lost in the sea of an outgoing, super affectionate, loving Taurus who loves hugging, touching, and being loved. I would feel a little sorrier for the poor baby but I think its better to take chances in life and let love out than protect your heart and let love pass you by....
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved all all...

Missmorals
Ahh sweet. What a typical cap reaction ur guy gave u

(Sees a mental picture of jealous cappy sweating profusely imagining missmorals doing her thang with the new competitor)

But seriously u dxp people rock. If things ever work out with my cappy, u guys will be the first to know.

Wheretomylady
So did he say it(the ILU that u were looking for-I am thinking no; despite the amazing talk u had with him. Please correct me if I am wrong)

after reading this I may spend an hour or two barfing.

no bitter, he didn't say anything. It has been two weeks since I started this post and the cappy is still being himself. Good grief, I finally told him this morning that perhaps he is over thinking the whole thing, all that I need every once and a while is a sign, a sign that he cares about me, ok he does show me by bringing over a bottle of wine, or my favorite snack....

Am I asking too much from my little cappy? Is he totally incapable of loving me in an expressive manner?

Damn WTML is that all he brings to show you he cares and you except that? I sure hope he does more than that cuz if you are accepting that then maybe you need to rethink this relationship you have with him instead of worrying about him telling you he love you.

JD, sounds like she has something for you. I don't think she would feel nervous if she didn't at least feel some sort of attraction towards you....I know romance @ the workplace can be kind of a taboo, but is there a possibility of there being more?

The longest relationship I had was w/ a Taurus and that was for three years - now we did take it kinda slow - it was probably 6 months before our relationship got emotionally serious - and I'll never forget that night that she was just watching me - gazing at me with those big brown eyes and told me she loved me - I think that's probably the closest I've ever been to feeling that very same way for someone - obviously I felt the same way and told her just as sincerely that I loved her too - and I know I meant it with all of my heart - it was real - I know it was - see - as I've noticed between how I felt at that moment - and how I've mentioned it to other women I've been with and said the same - I gotta say that the feeling itself just wasn't the same - I think it's all in the sincerity in that persons voice and the trust that is felt between a Cap and their lover that can make all the difference between truly feeling love for that person and just saying it cause it feels right to say at the moment - you all know that awkward moment when someone says they love you for the first time and you try hard to feel that same way but just can't feel that same expression deep enough to feel that same way for that person - but you believe that down the road you might somehow fall for that person even more and the sincerity will have more meaning when you say it - I'm not saying that Caps are liars - they just register things a little more slowly than others - most of us don't have the same 'raging hormones' that some of the other elements feel - to us it's really all about trust - and if we really do love someone - believe me when I say that we'll surely express it - but it's probably best not to put a boat in the water that's not even completed yet if you know what I mean by that - I mean it's not that we don't care either - it's just that for alot of us - it takes alot more than words to truly feel the sincerity in the other persons feelings and emotions - I mean this is based on my own experiances - others may have different ones but in my own personal point of view - it takes alot to fall for a Cap to fall for someone to begin with - and even more for them to stay in love with that person afterwards - I'm sure the Cap in your life means well - but there may be something that's missing from this picture for him to not feel strongly enough to express those words to you - for me it was insecurity - and trust above all - if there's no trust - there's no true love...

My love is a cap woman, and she says I say I love you too much, and that I do not act like I say, so she says its not true...

LostPisces, this is because we believe in quality, not quantity! Say it when you really, really mean it...not just out of habit. We also believe in action, not so much words. Of course words are important too, but action is more important.