Losing it all

Hello everyone! I'm new here and I hope some of you guys will be able to answer my questions and ease my pain. Hopefully you'll have the motivation to read the long topic that follows. 😉

I'm Kay, an Aries woman who 8 years ago met her cappy soulmate (let's call him Gui to make it fast). But wait I just figured this out 3 weeks ago... Let me explain.

I met Gui 8 years ago in Monaco, I was working in a nightclub and Gui was coming there almost every week end with his friends. After a few weeks and getting to know each others at my work, we clicked but it was nothing more for me than just the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Gui was by then very interested in me and wanted more.

Years passed and we both went on with your lives but keeping in touch once in a while, Gui always having this little thing for me, giving me little names, telling me "I love you" but it was never too serious something more like a best friend would do I guess.

I moved to several countries the past 7 years so we only met a few times when I was coming back to south of France to visit my family and friends.

Nothing has ever happened between us all these times I was visiting, not even a kiss, I slept countless times at his place and things were fine like that. He always pampered me, was always close to me and full of cute attentions.

He has never hidden from me the fact that he was very attracted but I never replied positively to it, to me we were just friend and nothing more. Until recently...

I just moved back to France 3 months ago. Me and Gui texted a few times at the beginning, planning to meet up but I was always pretty distant or uninterested by that time because I was seeing someone else, so I kind of let Gui on the side when I came back.

Early August, Gui sent me a few texts telling me explicitly that he "would love to try something with me", that he "has been waiting for this the past 8 years" and that he would like us to meet and finally talk about it.

I accept to meet him and we both decide to go for a week-end together in the French Alps in his "Chalet". A little getaway to relax and find each others again and also put the big topic on the table...

First day is fine, we are just the 2 friends we have always been, the second day we went for a walk in the mountains and had a very deep and honest talk about our lives, the things that went on the past few years in each others life and we ended up agreeing that we should try something together.

I confessed to him that I was willing to try but very scared to lose my friendship with him if things went wrong between us.

The week end was perfect, very romantic, and I really didn't expect to feel this comfortable with him.

We both went back home and the fews days that followed were really weird.

Gui sent me a text right after dropping me back home saying he was "very happy and that he sees himself going far with me, that he would like to commit etc" but the few days that followed he was really cold and distant, I didn't receive a text and he didn't bother replying to mine. Very frustrating and hard to understand.

The week end that followed he invited me to spend a few days together at his parents place in Monaco to enjoy our last days off together before getting back to work. I agreed, I was very happy to hear from him again and I was curious to know the reasons of his silence.

I went to his parent place, they were very pleased to see me and I spent the most beautiful week ever with him and all of his family. We were very close to each other, things were perfect and I almost forgot about his silent treatment.

After that long week together, I went back home and again Gui decided to give me the silent treatment for no reason. Gui was permanently online on all social medias platform and seemed to be very active and talking with a lot of people, yet he decided to reply to my messages hours later sometimes a day after.

I spent the whole past week wondering if I did or said anything wrong so I decided to confront him with few whats app messages to understand what was going on. The only answer I got was that "He needed time", that he "wanted us to stay together" but that "It was hard for him to see me as more than a friend".

Really hard to understand after all the things he said to me earlier this month.

I met him and his family again on Saturday, things were really cold between me and him so I decided to confront him again face to face and I asked him if he was sure about us taking things further. I told him I wasn't willing to risk our friendship and lose him forever if something was not working for him.

His reply again was that he wanted us to stay together but needed time.

The whole day he invited friends over to his house and he pretty much avoided me all the time so I spent my time with his parents that I love.

At night things were super super super cold, not even a kiss, just a cold goodnight.

In the morning we had breakfast and I decided to go back home.

Since then, nothing, just a few messages on Sunday evening regarding work but nothing more.

I have no idea what to do. I didn't text him at all since yesterday and I thought that maybe I should step back and give him a taste of his own medicine.

That hurts me a lot, I really do not understand what is going on on his mind. He is not coherent, wants us to stay together but yet is rarely present, doesn't reach out and is very cold.

I'm seeking just any objective advice on how to deal with this hurtful situation. It took me so long to realise that I have more feelings for him than I thought.

Is he sincere ?

Do you think maybe there's too much pressure on him with this relationship after waiting 8 years?

Shall I stop or shall I wait for him?

Is it normal that a guy supposed to love you for all these years just disappears and doesn't feel the need to reach out?

Is he testing me?



I'm completely lost.

Thanks a lot everybody ❤️ Much Love and god bless you guys.