No More ... (Semi-vent)

I can't do it anymore, I just can't 😢

I think I want to rid myself of all the grudges I've held this year.
There is so much happening, around me and everywhere else in the world, I really don't think its necessary to be upset with anyone at this point ... well, not unless that tried to kill me or something lol.

I just feel this need to like not hold grudges and start Brand New you know?

I not sure why I feel this way ... I think it started when my Leo friend called me Tuesday and this afternoon. I haven't spoken to her since last May because she bailed on me when it was time to sign a lease on the appartment that I'm occupying by myself right now.

I understand why she bailed on me but that doesn't mean I wasn't pissed about it. Now she reaching out and wants to talk. I'm thinking we should start talking again because its not like she did something BEYOND forgiveness or whatever -- she's just a freaking flake lol.

But we were the coolest friend though so I'm thinking its time to stop being a baby and to start communicatiing with her again ... hmmm.

i love cappies! i say you give her another chance

yep be generous at heart is how we can reach true happiness coz you won't be affected by others' negative emotions much

Really ... Well Sagi, the fact that she still wants to be my friend is pretty remarkable. I was pretty straight-forward with my words because I was very upset that she told me 48 hours before my previous lease was up that she could be be my roommate. The reason she gave upset me the most, other then her flakiness (sorry, but can't stand a flake lol). She 24 years old but she told me that her parents believed that she was ready to move hahaha. I mean, if she got 'cold feet' all she had to do was say so instead of using such a lame excuse haha. I had to get an appartment in a place I really didn't want to go to but I was stuck.

So I basically told her to never speak to me again because she is not a fair-weather friend. HAHAHA, oh yeah, I was so pissed with her ... thats why I'm shooked at her want to be friends, but I certainly wasn't very nice and I know that because I was upset.

But now I'm thinking, the new year is coming along with other things, maybe I should just bury the hatchet .... 🙂

i love cappies! i say you give her another chance

And I lOVE Leos 😄 😄 😄 😄 !!!!!!!

Well, I'll text her and see if she wants to go to lunch or something. Sometimes I lose my head when I get pissed.

But I think its time to pue all that behind me because holding illl or bad feelings isn't eeally doing me a favor 🙂

Giving people a second chance is always good as everyone makes mistakes.

~sigh~ ........... I guess you are right about that 🙂 Life is too short to act like a brainless ass lol. Well, I will text her while working in my paper -- I'll see what she is up to. She called Friday but I haven't had a chance to get back with her.

I'm not sure why I'm in such a mood to be all cool lol -- maybe because my Daddy's birthday is approaching! I have to remember to buy flowers for him ^_^.

I fight with my cap friend all the time, cuss outs and the like...we manage to still be friends...caps are loyal

I fight with my cap friend all the time, cuss outs and the like...we manage to still be friends...caps are loyal

Yes Yiki 😄 Most of us are loyal 😛 We are only asses to those to act like that towards us first. I've only met one cap who was no good just for the mere sake of it.

Get done with every thing negetive in your life.Let not wrong people matter and exist for you.

..... I have to think about this. I've been thinking over the past two weeks that since I'm emotional, I tend to let the energy of others effect me.

I really need to stop doing that.

That happens to me too during my weak moments.Just stop thinking about them and soon they would not matter to you and neither their energy would effect you.

Hmmm, I shall see if this works ... but its just ... I don't like for no one to be all negative towards me for no reason, you know what I mean? I guess I always expect the best of people when I'm the best to them.

Like I will be friends with her again but I'd never trust her with anything important lol, she's waaaayyyy too flaky and I have a short temper with flakes.

lol, I'm a walking contradiction ... I'm a loner yet I like having a people around me :O

Yeah, it makes no sense at all

lot of times when you give your best to someone they end up taking advantage of that.

You're not just whisling dixie lady, you speak the truth. However, when I turn on those I feel have taken advantage of my kindness, then I get called the bad person lol -- I'm not sure why. I will say that I do believe in the motto, "An eye for an eye" -- its the whole karma thing with me ... I've gotten better with age

It does make sense...being human you cant be an absolute loner and neither should you be.

People are awesome 😄 But there are times when I'm like, "Get away from me!!!" lol, do you feel like that? I think this will be one of those weeks where I will feel like that.

That's your aqua moon talking

Yeah, the Aqua moon is a strange make with me -- I'd probably be better off with an Aries moon LOL!!!!

Here's something else to ponder while you're trying to decide if you should have her as a friend again ...

You knew she was a flake = you knew she was capable of not being grounded enough to be trusted with something important.

My point is ... you put an expectation on a person to fulfill an obligation of her "word" to you, when you knew ahead of time that she couldn't be expected to honor her word in the first place.

It would be like having a house guest to whom you know is a thief, and then leaving them alone in your house, while you ran out to the grocery store.

If you KNOW that this is a part of a persons make-up, then you cannot "expect" them to behave differently just because you want them to be a different person.

You should forgive her, from my perspective, because you participated in this disappointment of apartment .. because you expected her to honor her word, in which you knew ahead-of-time, isn't reliable.

oh no P-Angel,

I didn't realize how flaky she was after she bailed. My present talk was dealing with after she bailed.

I see .. so you didn't know this about her personality?

In any event, grudges are NEVER good .. they kill the soul (along with many other harboring of negative feelings).

People piss you off, this is normal ... and I'm sure you piss people off as well, from time to time, this is normal .. we're human, and we all do or say things that aren't going to be right for another.

But, that doesn't mean we are bad people ... she is more than just a woman who pissed you off, she is also a woman with beautiful qualities in which you once cherished.

Don't let anger cause you to resent .... I know you won't, that's why you started this thread 🙂

People piss you off, this is normal ... and I'm sure you piss people off as well, from time to time, this is normal .. we're human, and we all do or say things that aren't going to be right for another.

hahaha!!! I sure do P-Angel. No I think about it, I've done things that hae made her want to ring my neck ... but she remained my friend.

Oh dear, okay I see it better now

ctoun,

For the last week or so, I've been avoiding people I don't have to deal with. My tolerance and patience has been low lately.

Don't let anger cause you to resent .... I know you won't, that's why you started this thread

Yes 🙂

i have started concentrating on the jobs at hand, and stopped worrying for bigger goals. it causes anxiety, and i dont want that.

Hi DCV, yeah trying to reach bigger goals is killing me right now LOL. This may be a revelation, so to speak ...

Most people including you and me are incapable of knowing real motives of others.They just work on their assumptions and whats shown to them and what they get to see.Sometimes they misunderstand your kindness and may call you bad.Unknowingly you might have done same to others too.
Give peopel benefit of doubt.

This is totally unrelated but ...

Maybe I just need to stop acting so tough and realize that my feelings are easy to be hurt 🙂 I'm tough but at the same time, I know my feelings, I can be like a weeping willow lol -- no one ever sees this. Its always the one who is 'tough as nails' or the one with 'nerves of steel'.

But I still don't want to seem like a wimp you know? Like someone can just run right over me, I don't want that. Some when someone snaps at me, I snap twice, you know?