Not vulnerable enough I guess

I am starting to realize that maybe my tough, independent exterior turns men off. I dont have that "damsel in distress" thing that makes a guy fall for a girl. My ex really put me through a lot so I have so many walls up that its probably impossible to see vulnerability in me. Im really not as tough as I seem. Any other Cap girls feel like me?

Btw im kinda tall too which doesn't help. I think guys dont see tall women as needing protection like the petite ones.

There is time to be a bad bitch and a time to be vulnerable and you have to know the difference the most attractive trait in a woman is self confidence and embracing who you are

I don't suffer from the "damsel in distress syndrome" either, but most of the time that doesn't bother me at all. I am fully capable of saving myself and would not feel comfortable with a man trying to mother(ie. smother) me anyway.

But I have to admit that sometimes it does bother me. I know I'm freakishly independent at times and I need to let go of control at times and just let him take over. I think it's botherering him too, slightly. He's kind of alpha in many ways and wants to be able to take care of and protect me at times, and I think I should let him more than I do atm. I think we would both benefit from it.

Nahh I like to unleash my full power and whoever approaches me is welcomed 'at their own risk'. ;P
Of course I enjoy being courteous, it's part of
my personality (:

I don't owe anyone else my power but myself.
I hope he feels the same with his own.

I love it when two fully charged individuals come together.
Doesn't matter if it's male or female.

There's no need to water down any part of me for anyone else. And if he's begging for that,
then he's already setting someone/ himself and the gal up for failure. So just let whoever wants to change you, run against a concrete wall themselves.

Don't mind it. I think it actually takes some serious guts to actually go for it. Luckily I like challenges so I feel more enticed to go for it.

Thanks @Secret, I appreciate your 5 cents!

Im the same way.

I went out to eat with my mother and sis the other day, and my sisters boyfriend decided to join us. When she saw his car outside she started getting giddy and excited and hurried trying to put on lipgloss and fix her hair. He walked into the restaurant to her slightly panicking and asking us if she looked okay and touching up on everything. She stood as he was behind her and gave him the biggest smile and hug. Then she sat darn near under him and tuned us out for a good 20 minutes. She definitely made him feel like THE man.

I was like ohh, so THIS is how you do it?! I learned something watching her. Then I got sad because I could never show that much excitement to see a guy.

When it comes to being vulnerable, I cant do it. I can express all the problems I have with you, but I cant say I love you, I miss you, I want to see you etc. My friend told me once that it was okay to text those things sometimes. Just the other day I asked him has ot been a waste of time dealing with me. In my eyes women are suppose to be the femine energy, good with words, expressive, and warm. I think I do have a certain warmth but even that has to be pulled out. Im not expressive or good with words, and im not about to fake it.

On the flipside of this, I think Id make a decent wife, or atleast much better wife than girlfriend.

Posted by Secret
You're welcome Miimii.

lnana04, sometimes it's better not to say anything than to sound fake, I personaly prefer that. Let's imagine this situation; you have someone who constantly gives you affection, and constantly says "I love you", "I miss you" and all that stuff, that starts to be not so special to me. On the other hand, if you have someone who says those words occasionally I would take it more seriously, because the person really mean it and are not following the "society rule" just because.

An "I love you" and "miss you" said once a month means more to me than said everyday.

If you are not comfortable or ready to say it, don't say it, and when you do, it would be special and you will fee great saying it.

That's my opinion. But of course not everyone feels the same way.

I completely agree!

I should probably add that it took me a looong time to be able to make myself vulnerable enough to be able to tell someone that I love them or even be able to let go and let someone else take the reins for a while. When I got there, though, it felt very enpowering.