plzz plzz help..i am going crazy..

i am in love with a cap gy since almost 1 yr..that happend when we were in final yr of collge..but still i didnt give up hope and pursued him..and tried to do all possibl little favours to him..and fianlly gave out my feelings on V'day..but as expected he turned me down saying that he wasnt ready for any relationaship..coz of varoius reasons...1 was that he wud be leaving his native place to do job ..thats quite far frm here..and i knew it b4..both of us have got placd in diff companies..so his argument was that the relationship wudnt work out..and then his parents are very conservative..blah blah..that was a fake cause..i know..

anywaz but the way he handled me on v'day..i really got very touched ..i mean he told me that no 1 has ever thought him 2 b so special and he was so nervous too...i was so nervous that i cudnt speak..i just told him that he has understood my feelings..but even his refusal got me touched..

finally i decided nevr to talk about it again ..but then i found that he started teasing me about my feelings fo rhim..like he enjoyed that i had so much feelings for him..started giving me special attention..i felt that may b he has started feeling 4 me..so i proposed him finally online..while chatting on ym..told the 3 word line..i love u..gosh and he said the same disapointing dialogues..that made me feel frustrated..

then..again ..i started avoiding him..and found that he doing the same to me..and i had the feeling that he was not happy..was upset..and angry..so i finally gave up my anger..coz i knew that he was very stubborn..wudnt yield in easily..and started talking to him affectionately..
i often used to call him up at home..but he cud never talk properly probably coz of his parents...he's a very secretive person..infact he never even told his best frnd about me proposing him..sumtimes we exchanged emails..
suddenly i came to know that he had added a girl in our class to his crush list in ORKUT...that got me pissed off alot..and i came about this in the middle of my semester xam..and i sent him an email saying that he shud have told me if he had any feeling fo any other grl..he had made me feel like a fool..and that he shudn care reply to me..i decided that i'llnever see him again..but then jus a day later he called on my mobile fon..i decided not 2 receive it..and after a few missed calls i finally picked up the fon..and answered in a very angry tone..and trust me..he was sounding like a mouse..and i was shocked that he was trying 2 convince me that it was some misunderstood information that i had received..fine i believed him..cudnt help but got melted down(being a forgiving pisces..)..i again started feeling for him..my question is why on earth did he try to make up with me when he didnt have any feelings for me?

now 4 months have passed since all thses drama had happend..now he's far away posted for his job..and i am stuck at my native palce for my job..but still i call him every week..and talk to him for 30 mins on avg..but he rarely calls me..last night i talked to him for 45 mins..and we were gossiping on several subjects,..like i can b a good chatter when i feel very free..i told him that i want him to come back after 1 yr..but he said its all uncertain..his life is all uncertain for the next 3-4 yrs..and every time i call him i keep asking him when he'll come..i asked him about his mom and dad..and then he told me even his mom keeps asking the same ques when he'll come back..and then i told him i dont like anybody in my new office..i miss my colege and every1..ofcourse it meant him specially..he knew it too well..then i asked him if he had contctv with any grl othr than me..he denied...

can any 1 plzz tell me whether y cap guy has any feelings for me??whether i stand any chance of being his future wife??
i tell him everything..over telephone..pos

"i didnt give up hope and pursued him..and tried to do all possibl little favours to him..and fianlly gave out my feelings on V'day..but as expected he turned me down saying that he wasnt ready for any relationaship"

"he had added a girl in our class to his crush list in ORKUT...that got me pissed off alot..and i came about this in the middle of my semester xam..and i sent him an email saying that he shud have told me if he had any feeling fo any other grl"

"so i proposed him finally online..while chatting on ym..told the 3 word line..i love u..gosh and he said the same disapointing dialogues..that made me feel frustrated.."

"i call him every week..and talk to him for 30 mins on avg..but he rarely calls me"

"i told him that i want him to come back after 1 yr..but he said its all uncertain..his life is all uncertain for the next 3-4 yrs..and every time i call him i keep asking him when he'll come"

"then i asked him if he had contctv with any grl othr than me..."

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"he had made me feel like a fool"

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"plzz tell me whether y cap guy has any feelings for me??whether i stand any chance of being his future wife??"

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crazy_fish .. it's quite apparant that at this time in your life, rather than worrying about whether someone has feelings for you, or not, you need to step back and do some reflection and soul searching on how you really feel .. for, this man has been backed into a corner by you .. he is being pressured to pour his heart out to you and you aren't realizing that these are words you want to hear, and not really how he feels.

Are you sure you want someone with superficial feelings to pretend to love you? That's what you are seeking, you know ..

The writing is on the wall .. please slow down a tad to see it.

I know it's hard being in love and not recieving those feelings back, it hurts like hell .. but, for yourself and your own dignity, if you desperately seek feelings that don't exist .. you fool yourself.

He's not ready to love .. swim.

Hi crazy_fish,

Welcome to DXP 🙂 I read your post.

What sounds like is that they capricorn man is just not ready for a relationship. He sees you more as a friend. Most capricorns have problems with calling people. One of my favorite uncles is a capricorn and he never calls me, but we are close.

I think you are scared of being alone more then anything else. We all get that feeling, whether or not it's admitted. Try just being friends with him instead of trying to be something more.

Wouldn't you rather have him as a friend instead of nothing at all?

i agree absolutely that i hav missed out many opportunities..and am doing the same thing over again in office..many gys are interested in me..but i am not ready mentally ..cannot think about any 1 else in my life ..other than the cap frnd..of course cappie sweetie i dont want to lose him as a frnd....but do u all think i shud give this relationship a last try?? ..shud i stop calling him for some time and wait for his call—?he might come here during the last week of this month..do u think i shudnt contact him to see whther he asks me out when he comes here??

.....its very difficult for me to accept any1 else again in my life..or rather impossible..but i've decided i'll marry the guy whom my parents will selct for me..never can i fall in love again..this gy didnt allow that to happen..trust me..in collge if i wud show intrst in any othr gy..he wud show his displeasure...are all caps like this?i mean are they sort of possessive about the grls who shower them with attention & affection,although they may not be loving that girl?
i feel so guilty if talk to any other guy that he doesnt like..or rather he makes me feel that way..plz give me advice..i even told him few days back over the fone..get a girlfrnd..u'll hav a nice time..u wudnt feel alone..and i even told him that if u get a gf,then i must b the 1st person to know about her...to this,he said jokingly u r speaking as if i am carrying 20 grls in my pocket and i'll slect whoever i like..
so to all the folks in this forum i wud like to ask ..do u still think i am putting 2 much pressure on him??calling him & talking to him after 10-12days gap.. ..but if u feel that i am doing wrong to myself plzz advice me..i feel so helpless..he made me promise that i cant talk about it to any of our common frnds....so i havent mentioned the names here..

i hav even assured him that i'll never talk about those things about all my feelings for him again..and trust me i dont do it again..we are nice frnds i know..and i think he trusts me ..coz he tells me about many thngs like who he is real frnds with and how he feels at office..with others..and stuffs like that..but when we talk over the fon..i make him laugh a lot with my funny & crazy talks..like good frnds do..can it be possible that he thinks me as a good caring frnd??i wudnt mind even if he likes me as a good frnd..coz i am prepared for the worst .. except falling in love again with any1 else....
but 1 imp thing i want to add..in college there was a guy frnd (an aquarius)who was very intrsted in me..at the time i was mad for the cap guy..but the biggest prob was that these 2 folks were sworn enemies..after being turned down by the cap male thrice ,..my close frnds started giving me advice that i shud concentrate more on the aqurius guy..so..i was begining to feel for him..coz i felt just the way i was turned down..i shudnt turn down the aquariun...but i made things worse..the aquarius guy had seen us together many times and used to taunt me regarding the cap male..and say theres a lot between u and him..that we dont know..and it was tru but i cudnt lie..

and after the cap male..if i was ever attracted to any1 else it was this aquarius male..but dont like any1 else now..shud i renew contact with the aquarius guy soon?

"i've decided i'll marry the guy whom my parents will selct for me"

"i even told him that if u get a gf,then i must b the 1st person to know about her"

"...to this,he said jokingly u r speaking as if i am carrying 20 grls in my pocket and i'll slect whoever i like.."

"..do u still think i am putting 2 much pressure on him?"

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Every person who has responded has told you "yes" you are putting too much pressure on him. Additionally, if you already know that you're going to marry at your parents discretion .. then wtf?

You're head is spinning in circles .. seriously .. take a step back, occupy your mind with something constructive, or a hobby .. anything.

"Additionally, if you already know that you're going to marry at your parents discretion .. then wtf?"

but what else shud i do??shud i wait for him lifetime if he is not supposed to love me—?........i jus gave my opinion that if he doesnt ever feel for me ..i must move on..with life..but according to what fate will lead me..coz i dont want to take chances with my heart anymore...ofcourse i wud be happiest if he wud marry me..but thats so uncertain..u guys can guess it..i am already occupied with office...but when i am at home..i feel lonely...thats why i am posting my probs here..i have been reading msges here ever since i fell in love with him...since jan 2007 i guess i've been tracking posts in this forum..to know about cap men..

Finally i want to say that i love my cap frnd a lot..but i am not so selfish in love that i will not tolerate it if he wants some 1 else in his love..else i wudnt have the guts to tell him that get a gf....i am very selfless in love...i can sacrifice my happiness for the one i love..and if he evr feels under pressure he tells me..and i stop calling him..we share a very good undersatnding..only i wish he were in love with me..and i wanted ur opinion as to wat i shud do to make the situation lighter for myself and for him?he knows it very well i love him..and he doesnt mind me loving him..so why shud i stop loving such an adorable person??i am quite satisfied with the current situation..but feel scred about the future..coz i know i hav to get married to sum1 else..if he never loves me..but that is life and fate.....some1 once said"everything happens for our own good"....so may be whatever will happen to our realtionship will be for the best of both of us.....and i wish him all luck and success and happiness in life...and i am very proud to have fallen in love with such an understanding guy....never met a more loving and caring person..so what if he doesnt love me?...may be i dont meet his expectations..even i have certain choices in my mind....so i cant blame him for not loving me...

"i jus gave my opinion that if he doesnt ever feel for me ..i must move on..with life..but according to what fate will lead me"


Why be so locked, bounded?

It's either him or nothing .. that is the options you are allowing for yourself only. Why? There's a whole world out there of people and opportunities .. billions of people.

You ask, what should you do? You should find something to occupy your mind, other than sitting at home feeling lonely .. it's this feeling that is driving you to push him in a corner. Go find some girls to go window shopping with, join bowling league, buy a camera and start shooting sceneries, pick up some kind of craft .. anything to get your mind on something other than him.

It's sounds like you are obssessing, if you've been in here tracking posts for months and months .. you want to know what to do to make him fall in love with you and that's why you're asking .. and the answer is simple ..

.. you can't MAKE a person love you. He does NOT feel for you the way you want him to ..



"shud i wait for him lifetime if he is not supposed to love me—?"

Think about what this says ...

I just can't fathom people sometimes .. I try to no avail. I don't understand this .. how can this question even form in the mind?

If something is NOT suppose to happen .. why would a question of waiting for it to even be a consideration?

Sorry .. but, I can't help you. It's apparant that the only answer you are looking for is one to tell you how to get him to love you back and that's the ONLY thing you will allow to be a consideration. And that's too close-minded for my Piscean brain to acknowledge ..

"i am quite satisfied with the current situation"


wtf?

Over and out ...

ok...wat happened was when he came to the city during fetival..he didnt plan any meet up...inspite of me telling him that we might plan to meet together along with other frnds...well he didnt have "time"...so i finally decided to get over him by deciding never to contact him ever again..coz wats the point in keeping n touch with a gy who's not even bothered to keep our frndship alive!!!
and then u know i hav his email account password...now comes the real catch--------I got to know wat he told one of our common frnds(xyz) about me..xyz didnt know anything that had cooked up between us since college..coz Mr.cap had strictly forbidden me to talk about it to any1 else..now Mr.cap broke his own promise...and told xyz over net..and he didnt evn bother to tell me that he had told xyz...and he even told xyz not to inform me that he has told him...!!!That made me mad ..seriously with anger!!!And that wasnt all...the conversation i came across between these 2 guys..made me feel like killing my "cap darling"!!!!..xyz was better as a frnd..than mr.cap....i cud never imagine that xyz wud support me but cap ---he didnt have the slightest tone of gratitude/feeling towards me...After reading this,I have changed soo much...cant trust any1,cant love any1,cant be nice & sweet to every1 specially guys!!I believe all women shud read my post and comment on how they wud have reacted if they were in my position!!!To all the guys who will read my post,an honest suggestion----Never break the trust of a woman----when a woman loves a man,she loves to even sacrifice the most precious aset of her life for man,but when u betray her she can go to any extent to hurt u!!


And evr since i came to know this about my cap darling,i stopped all contacts with him,and it has been 2 weeks,,,and then all of a sudden 2 days back he email me a song(a kind of sad trance..but beautiful song) with the words"listen to the song ..very good one,..dont miss..trust me.."
Now wat do u hav to say to that—How shud i react to this??Or shud i just keep mum—Bcoz i hate him soo much now...plzz share ur honest suggestions "politely"

"Never break the trust of a woman----when a woman loves a man,she loves to even sacrifice the most precious aset of her life for man,but when u betray her she can go to any extent to hurt u!!"


Wow .......

My opinion knowing caps as well as I do!! He is not interested in you and most likely never will be. You should probably lay off the phone calls untill he calls you.. Cause he will turn around on you and with a cap that only means hurt. (Sorry Caps) If he doesn't call don't worry life goes on. Take as much time as you need to heel. Enjoy your life.. LIFE is way too short to be sitting around waiting on other people who don't have the same feelings as you do.

And Crazy_Fish don't be disappointed if he doesn't call cause he probly won't.

Move on Hunny. Find happiness within yourself and people who are close to you.

And Crazy_Fish don't be disappointed if he doesn't call cause he probly won't.

Hey crazy_fish, don't feel bad, I experienced this with an Aqua (the only Aqua guy I've ever had a crush on) but he also had alot of capricorn in his chart. It was anything against me personally, he just didn't want me in that way -- he thought we were better off as friends and after I got older (we are still friends) I understand that, but when I was younger I really didn't understand. LOL, its too bad though, I contantly wonder what it would be like to be with an Aqua, since so my women have problems with them.

Hey crazy_fish - you pose a very delicate situation - my pisces and I are going through the same kinda situation - she moved away but we still seem to maintain a relationship - but it wasn't easy for her to get me to like her - caps have a way of avoiding love altogether - they're very good with staying in solitude most of their lives - I don't think its so much he doesn't like you as it is he doesn't seem to know what he feels - his way of taunting you about his feelings is really his way of saying 'whoa....you're a great friend and all but I need some time to think about this' its a well known fact that pisceans and caps make a wonderfully complimenting couple - I get along with mine incredibly - and we too decided to try out the long distance thing - but when she went after me - she gave me the space to gather my thoughts and was still my friend at the same time - but just by her being the sweet and compassionate person she is - that's what made me fall for her. She was patient and let me truly make up my mind as to whether I really wanted to be with her or not. But in a way she did kinda sway my persuasion by making it almost impossible to not want to be with her with what I like her 'friendly affection'. Where she knew ways of getting to me without necessarily giving herself away cause she wouldn't tell me how she felt about me until I expressed myself to her - and man was that a doozy at first - but SUCH a relief when I found out that she felt the same way too, and since then - we were practically inseparable - but alas - her and I are now distant and even though we still keep in touch - the sincere compassion and understanding is still very strong between us. I must say that our signs pair up are compatible enough to become marriage material - I just hope thing do end up that way someday... Hey crazy_fish - you pose a very delicate situation - my pisces and I are going through the same kinda situation - she moved away but we still seem to maintain a relationship - but it wasn't easy for her to get me to like her - caps have a way of avoiding love altogether - they're very good with staying in solitude most of their lives - I don't think its so much he doesn't like you as it is he doesn't seem to know what he feels - his way of taunting you about his feelings is really his way of saying 'whoa....you're a great friend and all but I need some time to think about this' its a well known fact that pisceans and caps make a wonderfully complimenting couple

Amen to that Atlantic Myst! I've gone years without being in a relationship - or casual sex for that matter - another interesting fact is that a lot (if not all) caps are workaholics in some way or another and like to concentrate upon their own personal (or mutual for that matter) man I was reading the situation to this post and I just couldn't help but think 'wow....if a pisces thinks this much about her cap and the guy is giving her doubts anyways - my pisces must REALLY love me because I know that being loved is esp. Important to a the piscean women esp. and most feel the desire to marry at a young age - so I can see how you may have these anxieties about being with your cap - but I can assure you than chances are he's probably just concentrating on getting his life together - I'm sure he does think very much of you he may just be busy -ive had the same feelings when I might not hear from her for like almost a week and its almost like she knows how I feel @ my worst cause then sooner or later I hear from her again - and then I feel dumb thinking she might already fallen out of love with me when really she's just getting her life in order! I understand completely where you're coming from - I just hope I can reassure you as a cap as much as you've reassured me as a pisces that everything will probably be fine - caps and pisceans are definate marriage material - both signs usually do things that get them into tough situations - they both have similar personality qualities and they compliment each other quite well! we offer security and as you offer the compassion and love that we seem to usually lack - I dunno how compatible aquarians are to pisceans but I know scorpios get along with aquarians - I'd look that up though beforehand as I've found astrology to be an excellent reference to realizng the general personality, compatibilities and characteristics of signs - but I just hope you trust your cap overall because trust is like the world to us - and I know I wouldn't do anything to hurt her and hope she wouldn't do the same to me - and if so - its not the end of the world - as I would still have a great friend and her happiness means more to me than my own really - I can live without a lot in life - heck - I already do! Hope this helps! Feel free to message me as I love helping others and offering any advice I can give. I hope for only the best for you both! 🙂

lol, amening to someone calling us boring and unemotional? sure, i'm usually unemotional, but boring, pff. she seems to have sand in her vagina about some cap guy in the past and blames the entire population born under the sign for that.

but basically ja, i would think, if he liked you, he would have said something.

"Boring and unemotional"

Its obvious to me that all those years of living with her Cap sister, she still DOESN'T understand or really know Capricorns.

Well ya gotta remember Bullerina - not all signs are the same. Trust is usually a big thing for all earth signs esp. but depending on the other signs of their birth chart they may be influenced to lie otherwise. Kind of like how I almost knew before my pisces even left that she may meet someone else. It just doesn't surprise me that I would end up finding someone like that only to have them end up with someone else when I think everything is peach king otherwise. I'm currently in a mental limbo right now because I know that on one hand I know that she has alot of things to deal with @ the moment - lets just say things haven't been going great @ all for her ever since she got there - but @ the same time I know she's the type of girl that guys look for to be in a relationship with and possibly settle down with - hell even her ex still wants her - even though hes a dirtball for how badly he treated her shes the only one that's still put up with so much before finally giving up on him - i just dunno why this always happens to me - I do in turn trust her because I want her to trust me - but @ the same time my mind can't help but wonder if she would really do anything to keep me from feeling the need to trust her - cause she knows how much trust means to me - and in turn @ the same time I know how much it means to her - but bullerina I kid you not when I say that EVERY relationship I've been in has ended up the same way - the woman finds someone else (particularly @ their workplace - actually that's really too much of a coincidence now that I think about it) and with my Taurus of 3 years I finally gave up on her after realizing how much of a - well - whore she was - my Leo ex of a year has insecurity issues and always thought that I was cheating on her when it turned out that it was only to cover the fact that she too had admitted to basically giving her body to any guy that was interested before meeting me - course I found this out after she too found someone @ work and after she finally broke it off with me because of it (thank God for protection right?) then I end up meeting my pisces @ work and well - she cheated on her ex with me so it makes me wonder if she would do the same thing to me despite the fact that it took alot for her to commit such an act as having an affair - yet I've remained to be true to everyone I was with - so I know that I myself as a cap have been true to others - I can't speak for everyone - only because I want to be trusted by others

But otherwise - I know the kind of person that I want to be with - it just seems I can't find someone that committed enough to feel that same way - I mean I probably won't look for anyone else to be with anytime soon because for one I dunno if something just happened that's kept her from being able to keep in touch lately - so as much as my mind has thought of all of these possibilities - I'm not one to jump to conclusions until I know for sure - I told her I didn't wanna hold her down but to just give me the courtesy of having closure of knowing there isn't anything more between us - I'm a very understanding person otherwise - I know stuff happens - being a cap I'm no stranger to bad karma - but to me - that's trust right there - not telling someone something is just as bad as lying to their face - all that talk about 'what they don't know won't hurt em' is nonsense to me really - because the longer the truth is held - the more enduring the pain will feel when its finally prevailed - I just dunno why someone would go through all the trouble of getting to know me - falling for me - just to leave me just as quickly - I mean I know it wasn't easy for her - it was for a very important reason nonetheless - but all I can do is wait I guess - and if she's letting me down easy - then she's not so much lying to me as she is lying to herself - but I know deep down that trust is everything to me personally - maybe not to every cap but I can certainly agree with that astrological statement on a personal level - because just like how they describe caps in general - the whole successfulness and workaholism thing - it describes me to a "T" - but I don't think caps are meant to come off as shady but rather careful of the actions they take in life - I always look before I leap - and I do live a very private life - my own family doesn't even know where I live - but its only because I love my solitude - it helps me to think about all the different factors of my life and what my next step is going to be - I think this may be something that makes caps misunderstood by others - being quiet and shy doesn't exactly help us either (which I also am - only because I'm constantly analyzing my current situations and usually problem solving them and preparing for the future @ the same time) but I don't lie - esp. in relationships - I'm actually very, brutally honest with everything - I have nothing to hide cause I figure that person is probably going to find out the truth anyway

Maybe its my libra rising - I know libras are known for being brutally honest about how they feel - so that may be a factor - but to me its just not worth it to lie - I remembered when I was younger and I would try to lie to my mom and she would listen to my story and then say 'okay...I hear "A" and I hear "C" but somethings not adding up - where's "B"?') and thats when I would apparently start breaking down and finally telling her the truth - never lied again since then - maybe stretched the truth in some extreme cases - but I know that having a lie on your conscience can really eat away at it with guilt - and my life is stressful enough - its just not worth it to me really - so I can't speak for all caps - but I know that's something that holds a very high morale for me - lies only complicate life - cause then I would have to keep up with them - which is very much against my 'keeping it simple' state of mind - always great to hear from you bullerina! Thanks for the reply! 🙂

I was actually just reading about how people have loved and lost those loves only to rekindle with the relationship years later. But the article had also mentioned how people sometimes move back to where they came from to rekindle a lost love - and I'm thinking, "what if she has a lost love that she never mentioned to me?" Then I realized how she recently mentioned how she wanted to change her name - now I know she hates her last name - and her maiden name - but maybe its also to keep me from being found? Why she would do that I have no idea - I don't mind reading though - I actually enjoy reading as long as its something that either interests me or I can relate to. I just dunno why this same thing always keeps happening to me - its an enigma - but I did check out "Laws of Attraction" on Wiki and I gotta say that it definately sounds like something I would like to read into - thanks for the advice Starfish225! 🙂

I was actually just reading about how people have loved and lost those loves only to rekindle with the relationship years later. But the article had also mentioned how people sometimes move back to where they came from to rekindle a lost love - and I'm thinking, "what if she has a lost love that she never mentioned to me?" Then I realized how she recently mentioned how she wanted to change her name - now I know she hates her last name - and her maiden name - but maybe its also to keep me from being found? Why she would do that I have no idea - I don't mind reading though - I actually enjoy reading as long as its something that either interests me or I can relate to. I just dunno why this same thing always keeps happening to me - its an enigma - but I did check out "Laws of Attraction" on Wiki and I gotta say that it definately sounds like something I would like to read into - thanks for the advice Starfish225! 🙂