Should I be mad or am I a big baby

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miimii
@miimii
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 259 · Topics: 37
Im spending NYE alone and Im fine with it. My issue is my Sag best friend let an Aqua male move in with her a few months ago (I wrote about it on the Aqua or Sag board) but things haven't been working out with them. They argue everyday and finally they decided to break up. But he still lives in her house. The few years she would bring her kids over and we all would bring NYE together. This year she said she wasn't sure if "he" made any plans. So I asked her why it depended on whether or not he had plans. She said she didn't want to leave him alone on NYE but its ok for me to be alone I guess. It made me kinda mad that she is pretending to be detached from this guy but is putting his feelings before mine. I will get over it but I can't help but feel a little hurt. Am I being a cry baby? And should I still listen when she's complaining about him?
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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by miimii
Im spending NYE alone and Im fine with it. My issue is my Sag best friend let an Aqua male move in with her a few months ago (I wrote about it on the Aqua or Sag board) but things haven't been working out with them. They argue everyday and finally they decided to break up. But he still lives in her house. The few years she would bring her kids over and we all would bring NYE together. This year she said she wasn't sure if "he" made any plans. So I asked her why it depended on whether or not he had plans. She said she didn't want to leave him alone on NYE but its ok for me to be alone I guess. It made me kinda mad that she is pretending to be detached from this guy but is putting his feelings before mine. I will get over it but I can't help but feel a little hurt. Am I being a cry baby? And should I still listen when she's complaining about him?
You have a right to feel as you do, but she is in her right to make the plans she chooses. Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable dictating to people how they should behave or feel. I don't think you get the right to tell her what is right or wrong when it comes to her relationships.

Happy New Year! ?
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miimii
@miimii
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 259 · Topics: 37
I guess the concensus says that I am being a baby. I just thought since they are not technically together that she shouldn't have to choose between us. The fact that she's just an option to him and she made me an option in case he doesn't choose her makes me angry. I don't like being second choice especially to someone she claims to not have feelings for. Like I said I will get over it.

Thanks all!
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by miimii
Im spending NYE alone and Im fine with it. My issue is my Sag best friend let an Aqua male move in with her a few months ago (I wrote about it on the Aqua or Sag board) but things haven't been working out with them. They argue everyday and finally they decided to break up. But he still lives in her house. The few years she would bring her kids over and we all would bring NYE together. This year she said she wasn't sure if "he" made any plans. So I asked her why it depended on whether or not he had plans. She said she didn't want to leave him alone on NYE but its ok for me to be alone I guess. It made me kinda mad that she is pretending to be detached from this guy but is putting his feelings before mine. I will get over it but I can't help but feel a little hurt. Am I being a cry baby? And should I still listen when she's complaining about him?
Yes youre being a cry baby.

Thats they relationship and it has it up and down moments.

If you no longer want to hear about it, just let her know.

She dont sleep with you, she sleeps with him. So he will come b4 you.
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miimii
@miimii
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 259 · Topics: 37
Posted by o
dude whats your star sign I know sag girls inside and out to the point where they legit are ugly lol no offence bitches
She's not a bad person but she doesn't stand up for herself most times. That's why he's still living there even though he spends some nights at two of his kids mother's houses (it's confusing I know) during the week. Her decision making could be better but she is a good hearted person.
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miimii
@miimii
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 259 · Topics: 37
Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
I'm gonna be the lone dissenter and say I don't think that's typical sag lady behavior to exclude her friends for a man. If she doesn't know if he made plans the damn night before...his ass prob didn't.

The strong sag ladies i know would want her friends and man all celebrating together.

He sounds like a bad match but be a good friend and let her figure that out on her own with complete understanding from you.
I kinda feel like if he comes up with something better to do she will call me last minute wanting to come over and I don't want to be treated like that.
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miimii
@miimii
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 259 · Topics: 37
Posted by DMV
Posted by miimii
Im spending NYE alone and Im fine with it. My issue is my Sag best friend let an Aqua male move in with her a few months ago (I wrote about it on the Aqua or Sag board) but things haven't been working out with them. They argue everyday and finally they decided to break up. But he still lives in her house. The few years she would bring her kids over and we all would bring NYE together. This year she said she wasn't sure if "he" made any plans. So I asked her why it depended on whether or not he had plans. She said she didn't want to leave him alone on NYE but its ok for me to be alone I guess. It made me kinda mad that she is pretending to be detached from this guy but is putting his feelings before mine. I will get over it but I can't help but feel a little hurt. Am I being a cry baby? And should I still listen when she's complaining about him?
Yes youre being a cry baby.

Thats they relationship and it has it up and down moments.

If you no longer want to hear about it, just let her know.

She dont sleep with you, she sleeps with him. So he will come b4 you.
click to expand

Im really not sure why he should come before me considering he'll be leaving as soon as he gets a check he's been waiting on. And im not sure how yout friendships work but I would never sell her out for someone that Im not serious about.
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miimii
@miimii
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 259 · Topics: 37
Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
Posted by miimii
Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
I'm gonna be the lone dissenter and say I don't think that's typical sag lady behavior to exclude her friends for a man. If she doesn't know if he made plans the damn night before...his ass prob didn't.

The strong sag ladies i know would want her friends and man all celebrating together.

He sounds like a bad match but be a good friend and let her figure that out on her own with complete understanding from you.
I kinda feel like if he comes up with something better to do she will call me last minute wanting to come over and I don't want to be treated like that.


I understand where you're coming from but she's probably in a tough spot too. Is she the only person you can make plans with? It kind of seems like your NYE plans are depending on her and that's not fair either.

Don't bring in the New Year with bad feelings ? Life's too short for that.

click to expand


Im actually cool with being home alone. I don't do anything special on NYE. It was when the convo came up she told me that her kids were asking if they could come to my house like in the last few years. That's when she said what she said about him.

Thanks for the feedback!
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by miimii
Posted by DMV
Posted by miimii
Im spending NYE alone and Im fine with it. My issue is my Sag best friend let an Aqua male move in with her a few months ago (I wrote about it on the Aqua or Sag board) but things haven't been working out with them. They argue everyday and finally they decided to break up. But he still lives in her house. The few years she would bring her kids over and we all would bring NYE together. This year she said she wasn't sure if "he" made any plans. So I asked her why it depended on whether or not he had plans. She said she didn't want to leave him alone on NYE but its ok for me to be alone I guess. It made me kinda mad that she is pretending to be detached from this guy but is putting his feelings before mine. I will get over it but I can't help but feel a little hurt. Am I being a cry baby? And should I still listen when she's complaining about him?
Yes youre being a cry baby.

Thats they relationship and it has it up and down moments.

If you no longer want to hear about it, just let her know.

She dont sleep with you, she sleeps with him. So he will come b4 you.
Im really not sure why he should come before me considering he'll be leaving as soon as he gets a check he's been waiting on. And im not sure how yout friendships work but I would never sell her out for someone that Im not serious about.

click to expand

She didnt sell you out.

Are you in a relationship?

Ive been in your friends shoes. My Pisces friend stopped talking to me because i was through a problematic relationship.

I was really hurt by that. I didn't see her as a friend anymore. It in fact made me feel more problematic and stressed and lonely. I vowed never to do that with anyone.



When i had a friend who was going through the storm, i did not leave her side. No matter how many times they broke up, how many times she cried and complained. I am her friend. Now and always. There would be times where i felt 2nd but i had to.check myself. We are friends, not lovers. I dont have the right to give her ultimatums. Im not selfish. Im supportive.

Even when she falls, i will be there to pick her up.

I dont care if she calls me last minute or cancels last minute cause i get it.

Thats my definition of friendship.
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lexci
@lexci
9 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 4
I don't think you're being a baby. But obviously she still has feelings for her Aqua bf because if she didn't he wouldn't still be in her house, and she wouldn't care if he had something to do on NYE. So it seems to me things are still on for those two.

But I would find someone else to spend the holiday with or just spend it alone. Maybe you could invite both of them over if you like. In the end I don't think I would end the friendship over this.
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miimii
@miimii
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 259 · Topics: 37
Posted by DMV
Let me know if im reaching, but what is the root cause of your feelings?

Sounds like there's more beneath the surface.

Is it because you are not in a relationship or will be alone for nye?

Sorry if i come across crass. Not my intent.

No it's not that. For the record if I was in a relationship and she was not I would invite her still because it's what we've been doing. There is a lot to the story about him. He is very insecure and thinks everything is about him. When we're on the phone he automatically thinks we're talking about him so he starts an argument with her. When she's with me he texts her a bunch of times wanting to know where she is and what time she'll be back. So it does affect me more than it should. I kinda thinks she's hiding her feelings from me because she feels stupid. He stays overnight with 2 of his kids mothers (he has 3) and I think she's embarrassed by it. If she's in love with him that's fine (that's the only way to explain the behavior) but she doesn't have to lie about it. I would understand her actions if she admits the truth.