Should I be worried ? Goat Gent and Loyalty ?

Hello to you all dear Goats,

As of late, I have been with a Goat Gent. 😄

This is his chart -

Goat Sun

Bull Moon

Sag Merc

Goat Venus

Bull Mars



From the very beginning he was very up front about what he was looking for and that he wanted to commit to me. However, I had some baggage I was dealing with. The aftermath doubts or worries when it comes to relationships simply because of what a few exes have done, in how they treated me. He was patient, and understood. He explicitly expressed that even if he had to wait for me. He would, because he is confidant I would work past it, and come to love him in time (he never pressured me).

He was right, over the last two months that we have known each other. He has been very supportive. Though we have our small arguments here and there. He is never afraid to talk it out, instead of letting resentment build. For once, a man does not diminish my Stinger emotions, broodiness, or intensity. The fact that he validates, and appreciates that side of me is rather soothing. We are both jealous and possessive individuals.

Such that, we both feel those emotions. Now, do we act on them ? No.

We are not controlling, and the fact that we are able to talk about our jealousy when it happens. It helps a lot because we manage to diffuse situations. Either by making different choices or adjustments to our behaviours whilst finding a way to make the other happy.

Given all that, and how steady, secure, and incredible he is in my life. There is this one ex of his, from two years ago who still lingers in his life. Granted, when they broke up all those years ago. It devastated him, he left his country for his professional endeavours but also to move on. She cheated on him, and cheated with him. She cheated with him, on her now SO of two years, with one kiss (nothing more, as he stopped her) but it was over one and a half years ago. He never initiates contact with her, but every few months she would write him. Trying to get him to talk to her, to care, or to see her (though they are in two different countries now).

Recently, she was going on holidays with her SO, and asked the Goat to join them. In which he told her to focus on her SO, and that it would be inappropriate, uncomfortable as well for him to go. There is no reason for him to be there. She kept asking, and he told her about me. Showing her pictures of us, and letting her know that he is seeing someone now. According to him, she made insulting comments about his style . Only because with me, I managed to help him create a new look that looks far more dapper on him (which he loves). Every time that she writes him, I could always tell because he would look rather distressed and be a bit moody. He is on holidays now, visiting his family (parents, siblings, relatives etc.).

She is from the same city as he is, and happens to be in town. She has been pestering him to meet, so she could see him. Now, in the past, whenever he was with someone. Even if he visited home, he told me he would never see her because it would be disrespectful. When he is finished with a relationship, an ex becomes his past. Yet, he lets her remain in his life in some way. Though we did talk about how I felt about her, and this whole situation. He seemed rather upfront, I asked if I should be worried and he said I should not. Also if he should meet her, it would never be alone. It would always be with mutual friends, in public, and never for long.

My intuition tells me that two things, that he either still has feelings for her, or at least some hope. That, or he wants to finally bid farewell to that history of his, so he could truly embark on his journey with me, no holds barred. In which, I would respect and understand. However, I could never get down to the reason or motivation in why he would agree to see her again. He would always clam up, or tell me that because its been so long. It would be normal for them to catch up on life and how things are.



Is it for closure ? curiousity ? revenge ? ... or so he could finally lay that chapter in his life to rest and truly focus on me, tying up the lose ends ?

Why does she still affect him and his moods ?

Why is she the exception, the exception of an ex that he lets her contact him still?

Why does he feel secure enough with me, to feel it is acceptable now to meet her again ?

I don‘t like that stuff either. You are his gf so he should respect your disliking for her. He should cut her off.

Posted by AquaNextDoor

I don‘t like that stuff either. You are his gf so he should respect your disliking for her. He should cut her off.

We are not yet official @AquaNextDoor, only because I am not quite there, but almost. He is, but I am not.

Though we are as connected as could be. His friendship circles knows or met me already. His family knows about me, they see or always ask about me during calls with him. In fact, despite knowing him for not so long. His family expected me to visit them with him, during his holiday now. However, I already had work obligations so I could not go with him. Even his boss knows about me. 😆

I do not dislike her, though I do feel jealousy which we talked through. I simply want to know why he feels the need to let her circle around him in his life. Though he never initiates, he never reaches out to her etc.



Was your Goat Gent ever this way ?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AquaNextDoor

I don‘t like that stuff either. You are his gf so he should respect your disliking for her. He should cut her off.

We are not yet official @AquaNextDoor, only because I am not quite there, but almost. He is, but I am not.

Though we are as connected as could be. His friendship circles knows or met me already. His family knows about me, they see or always ask about me during calls with him. In fact, despite knowing him for not so long. His family expected me to visit them with him, during his holiday now. However, I already had work obligations so I could not go with him. Even his boss knows about me. 😆

I do not dislike her, though I do feel jealousy which we talked through. I simply want to know why he feels the need to let her circle around him in his life. Though he never initiates, he never reaches out to her etc.



Was your Goat Gent ever this way ?

click to expand

Oh I‘m sorry, my bad. Thought you were a couple.

To be completely honest and long story short: my cap had a brain tumor diagnose 2012 (we met 2015), back then he had a friend and she supported him, was there for him. He told me they kissed in the beginning but he didn‘t like her romanticaly so they stayed friends. Fast forward we met 2015, became a couple and she was still in his life as a friend but didn‘t really see eachother because she had a bf. However she expressed that she didn‘t like how easily my cap opened up to me yada yada how it took forever for him to open up to her yada yada. I told him that I don‘t tolerate female friends especially when there is history. I kept an eye on her. She started texting differently, started whining about her bf and used my cap as a shoulder to cry on via phone. How she feels unsafe and needs him yada yada He was always transparent with me.

I pulled the plug. Told him that I know she still has feelings for him and that I don‘t tolerate that. I don‘t tolerate anyone to use my cap for attention or as a pillow for comfort. I can sense female manipulation and I‘m never wrong with that. He cut her off.

He felt bad, really bad. And I understand. She was there for him in his darkest times after the diagnose and surgery. I respect that. He and hsi family were very thankful and she received enough in return. But she crossed my boundaries and I‘m reckless because I know that she still wanted more. He understood that after all there is no place for anyone else between us and that I‘m not that kind of woman to tolerate any trials from her side. So he cut her off for good in a respectful manner. Of course she couldn‘t handle that, spitting some nasty stuff against me. I just layed back and enjoyed her downfall. Some might say I don‘t understand the concept of friendship. I do, but with feelings involved there is no friendship anymore. I did everything right and can sleep peacefully knowing there‘s no female trying to disrespect me or my relationship.

Posted by DeadInside

pass me the cap we need to talk

Should I be worried, @DeadInside ?

I mean I do not have much of a choice at the moment. Either I trust him to make the right decision whenever she decides to play her games or set her claws into him, if she does in which I feel she will or I go.

Before he left on his holidays, I did ask him whether or not I should be concerned about this situation and her. As in this time that he is away, I will have the time to be alone to contemplate whether or not I am finally ready to commit to him fully, officially. I told him, I do not want any man that does not want only me, or has any lingering unresolved history with others. Had enough painful experiences to know better, that if he does have hope or feelings. I would let him go, not commit yet, so he could settle his affairs of the heart before I fall in any deeper with him.

He told me that was not necessary, but something in me, intuition if you may call it so, feels she has ulterior goals and I do not know how firm he is in regards to her. In other regards, I have gotten to see how concrete he could be, when he does not want something or someone. His Bull side, is immoveable, yet with her he seems more lenient. I understand, she had a history with him but she also hurt him immensely, twice. I do not tolerate someone to hurt someone I care about. 😱

All in all, I do not want to control a man. Yes, I admit to my jealousy as he does his. We take responsibility over our own emotions, but I have no desire to change a man. If he wants to be with me, to be loyal. He should chose it by himself, I do not want to wrestle it out of him. To me if you care, like, or love someone. You would do anything not to hurt them.

Therefore which is why I have not yet made any demands on him and his situation with the ex, or what she does. However, he was always one to tell me never keep friends around that do not serve you well in life. She does nothing but bring him stress, and unnecessary drama.



Why keep her around, is he not being hypocritical (which I pointed out to him, which he had no answer to) ?

Well men are mostly blind to the intentions of females 🤷🏻‍♀️ I hope he‘ll decide in your favor once shit goes down. You don‘t need to change him, no one can. A man who wants you will change on his own. But stick to your boundaries however.

But why aren‘t you two official yet?

Posted by AquaNextDoor

Well men are mostly blind to the intentions of females 🤷🏻‍♀️ I hope he‘ll decide in your favor once shit goes down. You don‘t need to change him, no one can. A man who wants you will change on his own. But stick to your boundaries however.

But why aren‘t you two official yet?

Exactly, and I told him so. I have no interest in changing him, if a man wants to behave and choose loyalty, me.

He will.

He is aware that she is playing games. He must know, because he had to refuse her continually over her proposal that he be with her and her SO on their holiday. Keep in mind, she made her offer when he was already seeing me. That did not stop her. He knows she is the kind of woman to cheat, be it on him, or any man. He knows she cheats on her SO now as well. He was extremely angry at how my exes treated me, yet he does not seem to have this boundary with her. It is far too hypocritical.

If he is well aware of all this, and told me so. He cannot be so blind, I doubt he is that much of a fool. 😐

Hmm, we are not yet official because I want to make sure the ingrained fears, doubts, etc. of mine due to the treatment of my past exes and what they did to me, are dealt with. I do not want him to be with a woman, that is not a clean slate. Once, I commit, it will only be him and no turning back. I take commitment very seriously. He respects and appreciates my process, (my loyalty, once it is given, must remain unbroken) that he understands. Before he left he said, I know you heart and mind individually already care for me. You just have not mesh the two just yet but that is fine. I am patient. Which he has been, and it touches me deeply.

@AquaNextDoor

Also, another reason is I want to be sure of his situation with her. If there is lingering unresolved baggage, then I do not want to be involved. This holiday of his, how he makes his choices, and how he is when he returns, will hopefully give me insight into it.

What will worrying do? Absolutely nothing.

What will jealousy do? Steal your peace and confidence.

In my opinion, he's wrong for entertaining this. Especially when you are his new interest. However, since the two of you aren't official, I'm not sure just how much SAY you have in this.

Focus on yourself and what YOU want. Figure out if this is the relationship for you. Make your expectations known.

This guy needs to figure out why he's entertaining this when his ex has a SO now.

Also, the ex is manipulating him.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@AquaNextDoor

Also, another reason is I want to be sure of his situation with her. If there is lingering unresolved baggage, then I do not want to be involved. This holiday of his, how he makes his choices, and how he is when he returns, will hopefully give me insight into it.

That is a wise choice. But however you sound deeply invested already although you aren‘t official yet. Hope this turns out good for you 🌷

" he left his country for his professional endeavours ".

You have not discussed this issue yet, although I'm sure you have thought about it. As someone who lived in three different countries, I would like to bring it to your attention. No matter how pleased I am, there is always some nostalgia about the different places, languages, cultures, familiarity...all which are also somewhat associated with my exes. I am happy to meet any of them once in a blue moon, but have no residual feelings other than care and yes....nostalgia.

What are his feelings and intentions towards "his country"? Is he secure and content where he is now, or is he secretly pining for his old country? Are the traditions and culture quite different in his past versus his present? Is the tolerance of his ex somehow connected with these?

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

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You need a snickers or something? No, it's about being respectful of your current relationship and drawing lines regarding exes. Other shit has happened regarding the ex that I didn't list, but go ahead and judge. What drama did I cause, I left after the funeral so don't get it twisted with your prior situation. Left him alone to go to the luncheon and sit with his ex wife and children. His sister in law and cousins were pissed at how he acted, like I wasn't even there. This happened 3 months after burying my own mother, so it was a sensitive time for me and he knew that. Would you be cool with that pisces?

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

click to expand

And don't ever call me a cunt, you don't fucking know me.

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

She was there to support him though. He sounds pretty rude.

click to expand

Honey, I just came from a funeral last week. Anyone behaving like SHE did, sulking from afar and leaving early would be considered more than rude! And selfish, if not narcissistic (lack of empathy). So far for being there to "support" him! That was a joke, wasn't it?

And let us not make this thread about some random selfish and rude person.

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

She was there to support him though. He sounds pretty rude.

Honey, I just came from a funeral last week. Anyone behaving like SHE did, sulking from afar and leaving early would be considered more than rude! And selfish, if not narcissistic (lack of empathy). So far for being there to "support" him! That was a joke, wasn't it?

She showed up to support the man she's been with for years while he ignored her for his fake family. Sounds like some weird water sun delusion bubble he lived in for a moment lol. That's just weird dude.

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His children=fake family...? Dude, if there is someone deluded, it's you!

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

She was there to support him though. He sounds pretty rude.

Honey, I just came from a funeral last week. Anyone behaving like SHE did, sulking from afar and leaving early would be considered more than rude! And selfish, if not narcissistic (lack of empathy). So far for being there to "support" him! That was a joke, wasn't it?

She showed up to support the man she's been with for years while he ignored her for his fake family. Sounds like some weird water sun delusion bubble he lived in for a moment lol. That's just weird dude.

His children=fake family...? Dude, if there is someone deluded, it's you!

Fake nuclear family.

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You are not just deluded. You are a first class idiot.

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

She was there to support him though. He sounds pretty rude.

Honey, I just came from a funeral last week. Anyone behaving like SHE did, sulking from afar and leaving early would be considered more than rude! And selfish, if not narcissistic (lack of empathy). So far for being there to "support" him! That was a joke, wasn't it?

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Who said I was sulking? Who said I left early? I went for the reason I went, to pay my respects to his brother. This commentary coming from a pisces is priceless and laughable. And why are you addressing her and not me directly? You sound like a bitter, angry, ugly person coming at me when I've never had any correspondence with you on here at all. Take it up with your scorpio ex, sounds like he's the one you have an issue with, not me. So back the fuck up off your judgemental high horse.

Posted by Undine

And let us not make this thread about some random selfish and rude person.

Like yourself?

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

She was there to support him though. He sounds pretty rude.

Honey, I just came from a funeral last week. Anyone behaving like SHE did, sulking from afar and leaving early would be considered more than rude! And selfish, if not narcissistic (lack of empathy). So far for being there to "support" him! That was a joke, wasn't it?

She showed up to support the man she's been with for years while he ignored her for his fake family. Sounds like some weird water sun delusion bubble he lived in for a moment lol. That's just weird dude.

His children=fake family...? Dude, if there is someone deluded, it's you!

Fake nuclear family.

You are not just deluded. You are a first class idiot.

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Why are you calling @FknMeow names? You're judging me, yet obviously you are the person totally lacking in class or decorum.

Posted by sweetpea2977

What will worrying do? Absolutely nothing.

What will jealousy do? Steal your peace and confidence.

In my opinion, he's wrong for entertaining this. Especially when you are his new interest. However, since the two of you aren't official, I'm not sure just how much SAY you have in this.

Focus on yourself and what YOU want. Figure out if this is the relationship for you. Make your expectations known.

This guy needs to figure out why he's entertaining this when his ex has a SO now.

Also, the ex is manipulating him.

That is exactly what I am focusing on @sweetpea2977, which is why I am taking this time alone (now that he is on holidays) to figure out whether or not I want to cement this commitment. However, until I figure this out I cannot make demands or expectations. Part of my intuition tells me, when I do make it official. He would take even more steps in making things even more secure than already is.

He knows the ex is manipulating him, he is well aware, at least to a degree.

In my opinion, I feel it is wrong as well considering he knows she is dramatic and plays games. He told me so in his own words but then again he is Italian. Their culture, does have differences in regards to exes.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AquaNextDoor

I don‘t like that stuff either. You are his gf so he should respect your disliking for her. He should cut her off.

We are not yet official @AquaNextDoor, only because I am not quite there, but almost. He is, but I am not.

Though we are as connected as could be. His friendship circles knows or met me already. His family knows about me, they see or always ask about me during calls with him. In fact, despite knowing him for not so long. His family expected me to visit them with him, during his holiday now. However, I already had work obligations so I could not go with him. Even his boss knows about me. 😆

I do not dislike her, though I do feel jealousy which we talked through. I simply want to know why he feels the need to let her circle around him in his life. Though he never initiates, he never reaches out to her etc.



Was your Goat Gent ever this way ?

you're not official, so why are you trying to control his nuts anyways

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I am not CC, but I am looking out for my own heart. If I controlled him, he would have gotten an ultimatum which I did not give him. Considering a prospective person and their history, before committing to them is only wise. I am too old to go naively throwing myself at a man any more.

Posted by ItsSupes2

Where ya been woman?

Gone, busy living and dealing with life. 😆

How have you been Ssupes ?

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by AquaNextDoor

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AquaNextDoor

I don‘t like that stuff either. You are his gf so he should respect your disliking for her. He should cut her off.

We are not yet official @AquaNextDoor, only because I am not quite there, but almost. He is, but I am not.

Though we are as connected as could be. His friendship circles knows or met me already. His family knows about me, they see or always ask about me during calls with him. In fact, despite knowing him for not so long. His family expected me to visit them with him, during his holiday now. However, I already had work obligations so I could not go with him. Even his boss knows about me. 😆

I do not dislike her, though I do feel jealousy which we talked through. I simply want to know why he feels the need to let her circle around him in his life. Though he never initiates, he never reaches out to her etc.



Was your Goat Gent ever this way ?

Oh I‘m sorry, my bad. Thought you were a couple.

To be completely honest and long story short: my cap had a brain tumor diagnose 2012 (we met 2015), back then he had a friend and she supported him, was there for him. He told me they kissed in the beginning but he didn‘t like her romanticaly so they stayed friends. Fast forward we met 2015, became a couple and she was still in his life as a friend but didn‘t really see eachother because she had a bf. However she expressed that she didn‘t like how easily my cap opened up to me yada yada how it took forever for him to open up to her yada yada. I told him that I don‘t tolerate female friends especially when there is history. I kept an eye on her. She started texting differently, started whining about her bf and used my cap as a shoulder to cry on via phone. How she feels unsafe and needs him yada yada He was always transparent with me.

I pulled the plug. Told him that I know she still has feelings for him and that I don‘t tolerate that. I don‘t tolerate anyone to use my cap for attention or as a pillow for comfort. I can sense female manipulation and I‘m never wrong with that. He cut her off.

He felt bad, really bad. And I understand. She was there for him in his darkest times after the diagnose and surgery. I respect that. He and hsi family were very thankful and she received enough in return. But she crossed my boundaries and I‘m reckless because I know that she still wanted more. He understood that after all there is no place for anyone else between us and that I‘m not that kind of woman to tolerate any trials from her side. So he cut her off for good in a respectful manner. Of course she couldn‘t handle that, spitting some nasty stuff against me. I just layed back and enjoyed her downfall. Some might say I don‘t understand the concept of friendship. I do, but with feelings involved there is no friendship anymore. I did everything right and can sleep peacefully knowing there‘s no female trying to disrespect me or my relationship.

its sad he used her kindness to heal

yet he marries you

who didn't do shit for him when he most needed someone

i don't see her as the bad guy

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Well you can‘t force feelings 🤷🏻‍♀️ was he supposed to have feelings for her because she helped him to get through this? They remained friends and she couldn‘t be „just friends“. When there are feelings involved the friendship is over anyways. She wasn‘t the bad guy per se, but she couldn‘t respect our relationship. She dig her own way out of this.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by AquaNextDoor

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by AquaNextDoor

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AquaNextDoor

I don‘t like that stuff either. You are his gf so he should respect your disliking for her. He should cut her off.

We are not yet official @AquaNextDoor, only because I am not quite there, but almost. He is, but I am not.

Though we are as connected as could be. His friendship circles knows or met me already. His family knows about me, they see or always ask about me during calls with him. In fact, despite knowing him for not so long. His family expected me to visit them with him, during his holiday now. However, I already had work obligations so I could not go with him. Even his boss knows about me. 😆

I do not dislike her, though I do feel jealousy which we talked through. I simply want to know why he feels the need to let her circle around him in his life. Though he never initiates, he never reaches out to her etc.



Was your Goat Gent ever this way ?

Oh I‘m sorry, my bad. Thought you were a couple.

To be completely honest and long story short: my cap had a brain tumor diagnose 2012 (we met 2015), back then he had a friend and she supported him, was there for him. He told me they kissed in the beginning but he didn‘t like her romanticaly so they stayed friends. Fast forward we met 2015, became a couple and she was still in his life as a friend but didn‘t really see eachother because she had a bf. However she expressed that she didn‘t like how easily my cap opened up to me yada yada how it took forever for him to open up to her yada yada. I told him that I don‘t tolerate female friends especially when there is history. I kept an eye on her. She started texting differently, started whining about her bf and used my cap as a shoulder to cry on via phone. How she feels unsafe and needs him yada yada He was always transparent with me.

I pulled the plug. Told him that I know she still has feelings for him and that I don‘t tolerate that. I don‘t tolerate anyone to use my cap for attention or as a pillow for comfort. I can sense female manipulation and I‘m never wrong with that. He cut her off.

He felt bad, really bad. And I understand. She was there for him in his darkest times after the diagnose and surgery. I respect that. He and hsi family were very thankful and she received enough in return. But she crossed my boundaries and I‘m reckless because I know that she still wanted more. He understood that after all there is no place for anyone else between us and that I‘m not that kind of woman to tolerate any trials from her side. So he cut her off for good in a respectful manner. Of course she couldn‘t handle that, spitting some nasty stuff against me. I just layed back and enjoyed her downfall. Some might say I don‘t understand the concept of friendship. I do, but with feelings involved there is no friendship anymore. I did everything right and can sleep peacefully knowing there‘s no female trying to disrespect me or my relationship.

its sad he used her kindness to heal

yet he marries you

who didn't do shit for him when he most needed someone

i don't see her as the bad guy

Well you can‘t force feelings 🤷🏻‍♀️ was he supposed to have feelings for her because she helped him to get through this? They remained friends and she couldn‘t be „just friends“. When there are feelings involved the friendship is over anyways. She wasn‘t the bad guy per se, but she couldn‘t respect our relationship. She dig her own way out of this.

Its always the cunts that get the man

this is what i've learned in life.

you act like she is a problem, when she's just HUMAN with human emotions

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You know the main problem with a lot of women? They think taking care of a man who isn‘t their man, building him up, being his doormat (which she wasn‘t but this happens oh so often) guarantees his love in return. That‘s just not how it works and I‘m sure you know it.

Being in love with a friend who doesn‘t feel the same. Cruel... but you can‘t blame that person either 🤷🏻‍♀️ No one can force feelings.

It‘s a tricky mindset to think „bleeps“ get the man in the end.

What's with all the usage of the word "cunt" today? Sounds like some bitter women to me...

Posted by Jules-ll

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknMeow

Posted by Undine

Posted by Jules-ll

This would be a huge waving red flag for me TLS. In fact, The Scorp and I had our first fight in 15 months just recently, regarding a similar situation. He sat with his children and ex wife at his brother's funeral, leaving me to sit alone. And walked out with them to put a flower on the casket, again disregarding me. There was a luncheon afterwards, but thankfully I had driven by myself so I left. I don't like being disrespected, especially in front of his entire family. The only reason I didn't end things is because he apologized and admitted he was being a "dick". He claims his children come first, and that I agree with wholeheartedly. But his children are young adults, and there need to be boundaries set with his ex wife if he wants to continue with me. He left her, she hasn't moved on. I told him he keeps her hope alive by communicating and spending time around her. But like Aqua said, men don't always realize the manipulative ways of women.

Hold your grounds, and keep your eyes open about this situation. I don't like that she felt comfortable inviting The Cap on vacation. He needs to set stronger boundaries before he deserves your commitment.

You remind me of a narcissistic ex who "punished" his (Scorpio) mum by cutting contact with her after the funeral of his father (her husband)! Apparently, she put him in the SECOND car following the coffin. This is because the first car was full with his brother's family! In the mind of the Narc, that was an offence!

This (and yours) is a sheer example of someone lacking empathy causing drama at a time of grief, by acting selfishly.

So what if he joined his grieving children and their mother?? DIDN'T YOU HAD LEGS TO WALK AND JOIN THEM? Had something stuck up your arse, perhaps? You haven't been "disrespected", you have been acting like a passive aggressive cunt, in front of his family.

Did you think the funeral was about you going on a date, or what?

She was there to support him though. He sounds pretty rude.

Honey, I just came from a funeral last week. Anyone behaving like SHE did, sulking from afar and leaving early would be considered more than rude! And selfish, if not narcissistic (lack of empathy). So far for being there to "support" him! That was a joke, wasn't it?

Who said I was sulking? Who said I left early? I went for the reason I went, to pay my respects to his brother. This commentary coming from a pisces is priceless and laughable. And why are you addressing her and not me directly? You sound like a bitter, angry, ugly person coming at me when I've never had any correspondence with you on here at all. Take it up with your scorpio ex, sounds like he's the one you have an issue with, not me. So back the fuck up off your judgemental high horse.

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I'm still waiting for an answer, since you seemed to think it was appropriate to come at me hard before. No reply, that's what I thought.

Posted by DeadInside

he want a revenge on her but i dont know, he should just understand that women who dont have loyalty are just poor quality even if they are beautiful sex goddess rich whatever the fuck

@ DeadInside, I believe he does understand that, but for some reason with her he forgets this concept.

Revenge on her ? 😐

I hope he is not using me as revenge. I do not feel that he is but you never know, no ?

He did tell her about me and show her pictures though. He knows I take loyalty very seriously, which is why I have been slow to finalise the commitment. Once I commit, it would only be him. I told him so. He appreciates and respects that.

Posted by gemNi

Instead of telling him your jealous, why not, flat out tell him, your unimpressed with his choices and his decision may impact your decisions later on if his words end up not matching his actions.

Great thought there, @gemNi.

I did express that, should he still have feelings or be preoccupied with her. I would have to reconsider or terminate my consideration in regards to cementing this commitment. After all my past experiences, I only seek out available men and if he is not available. As much as I adore, like, and care for him ... very much so. I would still move on, and let him sort out his past. However, he told me that would not be necessary.

Though the way you put it seems far better, than my own. Lets see how he behaves during his time away, on holidays back home. Then when he returns, I would speak with him. I rather speak with him in person, about such important matters. Though, he has been quite good so far. Keeping in touch, sending photos etc. despite being on holidays.

You are doing just fine lady 🌷

Posted by AquaNextDoor

You are doing just fine lady 🌷

I am not so sure sometimes, but thank you @AquaNextDoor! 🙂

I try not to let my own past experiences with other men, create fear within this connection.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AquaNextDoor

You are doing just fine lady 🌷

I am not so sure sometimes, but thank you @AquaNextDoor! 🙂

I try not to let my own past experiences with other men, create fear within this connection.

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Yeh that could lead to your own downfall. I always tried to date by the way „don‘t let past fears and experiences hold you back from letting someone else proof themself to you.“ but going by „love like you‘ve never been hurt before“ is stupid on the other hand 🤷🏻‍♀️ You made mistakes in the past to learn from them and not to forget about them just because someone seems to have potencial. Let them proof themself if they are worth your time.

You got this!

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

All in all, I do not want to control a man. Yes, I admit to my jealousy as he does his. We take responsibility over our own emotions, but I have no desire to change a man. If he wants to be with me, to be loyal. He should chose it by himself, I do not want to wrestle it out of him. To me if you care, like, or love someone. You would do anything not to hurt them.

Therefore which is why I have not yet made any demands on him and his situation with the ex, or what she does. However, he was always one to tell me never keep friends around that do not serve you well in life. She does nothing but bring him stress, and unnecessary drama.



Why keep her around, is he not being hypocritical (which I pointed out to him, which he had no answer to) ?

I can see some positive signs in your situation He seems a good guy he isn't hiding anything he is transparent about everything with you. He seems loyal to me but yes he may still have feelings for her which is why he is unable to get her out of his life completely. You really need to talk to him about this CLEARLY and tell him to get over all this before you two get official. Don't commit to him yet just tell him that you've started feeling for him but you are giving him time to get over his past completely (i.e no text no calls no meeting) as it will hurt you and that once he feel comfortable enough to let her go you will commit to him.

Tell him in a calm way so that he doesn't feel that you are pressurizing him to do something he doesn't want to do. Give him time the way he gave you in the beginning

Posted by Undine

" he left his country for his professional endeavours ".

You have not discussed this issue yet, although I'm sure you have thought about it. As someone who lived in three different countries, I would like to bring it to your attention. No matter how pleased I am, there is always some nostalgia about the different places, languages, cultures, familiarity...all which are also somewhat associated with my exes. I am happy to meet any of them once in a blue moon, but have no residual feelings other than care and yes....nostalgia.

What are his feelings and intentions towards "his country"? Is he secure and content where he is now, or is he secretly pining for his old country? Are the traditions and culture quite different in his past versus his present? Is the tolerance of his ex somehow connected with these?

Interesting perspective, @Undine. We have both lived in different countries, therefore I truly understand what you are speaking of. Yes, there is nostalgia, always will be. However, personally I would not meet people associated with memories unless they have a meaning or would add value to my life now, in the present. Some people remain as memories for a reason.

He is very fond of his country, as I am of its culture, food, and history etc. He is secure and content where he is now, but neither of us would want to stay here in the long run. Ultimately, he does have plans to return to his country. At least, for part of the year, every year. He would want to locate, part of his business there eventually.

Hmm, in regards to traditions and cultures. We have both moved around, living in various countries. So much so that adapting to new environments is but easy for us. So I doubt that is an issue. Although his ex is from the same city as he is. So, in that respect, I would assume there are a fair amount of mutual friends or acquaintances between them. To connect to that nostalgia, I see him finding that within his own family more so than anyone else. Be it his siblings, relatives, parents etc.