What to expect in a new relationship w/ my cap

I'm new here. Sorry this is so long but could really use some advice.

I met my cap in Feb at a bar. I was married at the time (going through divorce now). It was supposed to be a 1 night stand. He contacted me the next day via fb. He had a 'room mate' (female). 4 months of trying to break it off due to both of our situations (7 times). He was very torn and the longest we went with out speaking was 3 weeks until he contacted me. Keep in mind I was an emotional wreck during all this trying to give him the space he needed. When all along I just wanted to love him. We made us official in June and have now been living together for about a month. I told him in May that I loved him and he said he didn't want to say it till until he meant it. He would tell me he loved me when he was drinking. He told me via phone and voice mail today that he just wanted to tell me he loved me. We are both still going through a lot right now with our past. Does anyone have any advice on what to expect? I new when I met him we would end up together. My down fall is the 1 and only time I have ever felt like this was in a 5 year relationship and I was doing me and giving him space, just for him to tell me he doesn't love me any more. I'm scared to death that it will happen again. But I know not to expect my cap to be over emotional with me. Any advice would be great! Thanks everyone 🙂

Sorry, but I don't get it. What happend? Who is the roommate? Who was trying to break what off? What was his "situation"? Who said he didn't love you anymore? New or old guy? Why was new guy torn? Have you dealt with your divorce emotionally? Why weren't you speaking for three weeks? When were you doing you? Who were you giving space? Why did he want to tell you that he loved you when he was drinking?

Sorry my post was kinda all over. The person that said he didn't love me anymore was an old bf from about 20 years ago.

I've been emotionally disconnected from my husband for a few years.

I gave my cap space for him to figure things out. He says he loves me and his actions show that. I'm a libra and try to keep everything balanced and speak my mind. My cap is more closed off. My dad is a cap and they are very much alike.

Posted by Lovemycap
He says he loves me and his actions show that. .

Geesh!

I don't understand what the problem is. Sounds to me like you're insecure.

Truecap...yes I am. I'm a work in progress 😉

Posted by Lovemycap

I gave my cap space for him to figure things out.

Which translates to: You've decided that your decision on the fate of a relationship, is the only option you will accept - so now, you will allow him enough time to come to the same conclusion.


Otherwise ... there would be nothing for him to figure out.


In which case, all of that ^^^^^^^^^^ is irrelevant to what is actually happening. He is a prop that you are using to pull yourself away from an emotional attachment. aka: rebound. He could be anybody, and you'd still be making this same statement of - come to my conclusion because this is what I say is right. It's a process you have to go through so that you can maintain a certain sense of self righteousness. After all, if we didn't possess a dose of that, nobody would accomplish anything.

this has nothing to do with him, at all.

I'm amazed at the volume of people out there who are clueless to the reality of themselves. When it's in another person, it's flashing like brilliant beacon in the night, impossible to miss ... when people are experiencing it themselves, they're completely ignorant, totally blind ....


... and it's apparent that they don't care that they're fools.


maybe the fault is the god delusion, in where the sheep never have to be held accountible