Dealing with her hot and coldness?

I am struggling to work her out. At first she was crazy chasing me. I pulled back as I was not looking for anything at that moment. Then she withdrawed and I started to chase. We went out but it just was not to be. I think she expected another date but I never asked and carried on. Our contact became to and fro from their and her hot and coldness. But she was always in the background; becoming friends with girls I was talking to, catching her glance at me at parties and when I am down in the dumps or struggling with life, she lets her guard down and I see how so warm and loving she really is.

Lately we've gotten close again. Her hot and coldness stopped when I asked her to meet up and hang out for a bit and she went back to her initial loving self. She even posted on social media about me. Then she had a family death and went distant. I learnt and gave her space and let her know I would be here for her and she's started to reply again.

As you can see, I am struggling to work her out. Is it because we both don't know where we stand? I feel she has her walls up high then every now and then she lets it down and I get a glimpse of perfection. I don't mind that; it's a challenge I'm now ready to take. I guess I just want to figure her out or where we stand how to to go abouts thing. I guess girls I've previously dated have not been the air type but rather more grounded and consistent in a sense.

This girl but, she drives me crazy and no matter what I keep getting drawn back to her.

Posted by Aquaunanswered
I am struggling to work her out. At first she was crazy chasing me. I pulled back as I was not looking for anything at that moment. Then she withdrawed and I started to chase. We went out but it just was not to be. I think she expected another date but I never asked and carried on. Our contact became to and fro from their and her hot and coldness. But she was always in the background; becoming friends with girls I was talking to, catching her glance at me at parties and when I am down in the dumps or struggling with life, she lets her guard down and I see how so warm and loving she really is.

Lately we've gotten close again. Her hot and coldness stopped when I asked her to meet up and hang out for a bit and she went back to her initial loving self. She even posted on social media about me. Then she had a family death and went distant. I learnt and gave her space and let her know I would be here for her and she's started to reply again.

As you can see, I am struggling to work her out. Is it because we both don't know where we stand? I feel she has her walls up high then every now and then she lets it down and I get a glimpse of perfection. I don't mind that; it's a challenge I'm now ready to take. I guess I just want to figure her out or where we stand how to to go abouts thing. I guess girls I've previously dated have not been the air type but rather more grounded and consistent in a sense.

This girl but, she drives me crazy and no matter what I keep getting drawn back to her.

Stop doing the delicate dance. Don't play games with a Gem. If you really like something about her, tell her. If she has being hot, then cold, she is simply mirroring your actions. Maybe you need to make the first move?

If others were more direct with us, they would find half of their issues to be moot. What is it with these games people play? We don't have time for that.

Gemini woman here, and guilty as charged for the cold and hot game. I can tell you, if you have already seen what's behind the walls she's built to protect herself, chances are she just goes back to cold because she is uncertain of where the relationship is going. If you are straightforward and let her know how you really feel (even if it's just a "hell, I don't even know what will happen, but I'm willing to give it a try"), she'll mirror you and open up again. They've all said it, just be direct.

Posted by Yellownight
Gemini woman here, and guilty as charged for the cold and hot game. I can tell you, if you have already seen what's behind the walls she's built to protect herself, chances are she just goes back to cold because she is uncertain of where the relationship is going. If you are straightforward and let her know how you really feel (even if it's just a "hell, I don't even know what will happen, but I'm willing to give it a try"), she'll mirror you and open up again. They've all said it, just be direct.

I wouldn't even necessarily call it a game. We act accordingly to what we see. I'm with a Libra and though things are well for the most part, when they act indifferent I have a tendency to act cold without realizing it. They ask if something is wrong or am I okay. So you want to know why? The reason is simple. Because I feel like that's what you're doing to me, so what do you expect in return? This also causes doubt in us Gemini's. We begin to analyze and second guess how we really feel or if you are just pulling our strings and wasting our time. It's actually not a good position to place us in, because if we determine you are insincere, it's not likely we'll stick around too much longer at least for the relationship aspect. That's just my take and how I feel about it.

Mate you are with your best match. And let her chase you rather than you chase her. Be classy & intellectual as you are then she will be yours forever. Mind stimulation is the key for both of you. So keep updating whats happening in and out of the world so you both can stimulate sexual organ (brain) while meeting up. Its all start in good friendship.

Posted by geminidude
Mate you are with your best match. And let her chase you rather than you chase her. Be classy & intellectual as you are then she will be yours forever. Mind stimulation is the key for both of you. So keep updating whats happening in and out of the world so you both can stimulate sexual organ (brain) while meeting up. Its all start in good friendship.

No do not let her chase you, on the contrary because she won't. Yes be who you are, but there should not be chasing games back and forth as this creates far too much confusion. You don't want to be sending mixed signals. Again, tell her how you feel.

Posted by gemguyaz34

Posted by Yellownight
Gemini woman here, and guilty as charged for the cold and hot game. I can tell you, if you have already seen what's behind the walls she's built to protect herself, chances are she just goes back to cold because she is uncertain of where the relationship is going. If you are straightforward and let her know how you really feel (even if it's just a "hell, I don't even know what will happen, but I'm willing to give it a try"), she'll mirror you and open up again. They've all said it, just be direct.

I wouldn't even necessarily call it a game. We act accordingly to what we see. I'm with a Libra and though things are well for the most part, when they act indifferent I have a tendency to act cold without realizing it. They ask if something is wrong or am I okay. So you want to know why? The reason is simple. Because I feel like that's what you're doing to me, so what do you expect in return? This also causes doubt in us Gemini's. We begin to analyze and second guess how we really feel or if you are just pulling our strings and wasting our time. It's actually not a good position to place us in, because if we determine you are insincere, it's not likely we'll stick around too much longer at least for the relationship aspect. That's just my take and how I feel about it.

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I used the word 'game', because that is what it feels like for me, when I don't know where I stand, I lose interest and grow bored, so I go play somewhere else.
You nailed it, though, as I go through pretty much all that over analyzing you described.

Posted by gemguyaz34

Posted by geminidude
Mate you are with your best match. And let her chase you rather than you chase her. Be classy & intellectual as you are then she will be yours forever. Mind stimulation is the key for both of you. So keep updating whats happening in and out of the world so you both can stimulate sexual organ (brain) while meeting up. Its all start in good friendship.

No do not let her chase you, on the contrary because she won't. Yes be who you are, but there should not be chasing games back and forth as this creates far too much confusion. You don't want to be sending mixed signals. Again, tell her how you feel.

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It depends on the woman, I am a total chaser myself and if you chase me, I will probably feel overwhelmed and retreat. However, the main point stands: all of this chasing (or lack thereof, if that's your thing) needs to happen on solid ground. I still need to know that there are reasons to chase you. Talk to her, say how you feel and go from there.

I'm in similar situation. Went on a date with 20 year old Gem lady, and the date went well. We talked about everything, and she was talking all the time, and her body language showed that she's into me. After the date, we hugged, and tomorrow she sent me a message. Then I asked her for another date, and she accepted. Second date was even better.
Again, everything felt so natural, and she was into me. She talked about her life, her relationships, and she showed me her phone, and how many people are chasing her. She said how many of them want to buy her gift after couple of days, and that they want to impress her. I laughed, cause it's a weak behavior. Those people cannot attract with their intellect and other things, and are trying to buy her attention. I guess that is why she didn't gave them a chance. But of course, she likes the attention. She also asked me to go to some concert with her, or to travel somewhere, go to the swim, etc. already on the first and second date. I guess she liked me. And she said that I should answer more quickly to her texts.
After second date, she continued to chase me, to send me kisses, and all of that, and I asked her for a 3rd date. BTW, I never send her message first, after I met her, she did all of the chasing, and I was just setting dates then. Cause I know that girls get bored if guy is texting non stop, and there is no mistery, or challenge. She said that she is available for the weekend, but I couldn't make it because of work. So she said that we can drink some coffee before my work, and I agreed. On Sunday she didn't send me a message to confirm, and we set a date on Friday. So I didn't text her either, and to this day, she didn't send anything. I assumed that if she so wants to see me, she would contact me on Sunday. And whenever she was texting me, and I responded, she would text me back immediately. I waited 'till now, and was thinking to wait as long as it's necessary, but nope, no text from her.
So I texted her one hour ago, and as I guessed, she didn't answered anything. I don't want to chase her, and if she doesn't respond, I will not chase her, or get clingy like others.
I guess that she went on Saturday night with some guy, and it's all because of that. She couldn't wait obviously, as many of them want her.
She have only male friends.
BTW, I'm an Sagittarius.

I guess that at first she wanted to impress me by how many males want her. I don't know if she play games now, because I find it hard to believe that she quickly lost interest after that connection, and Sag and Gem are compatible. I know some Gem ladies, and we get along great, so she's no exception. I do know however that she get bored quickly if someone acts needy, clingy, or if he's boring, predictable, and way too nice. However, I'm not like that, so I don't understand if she lost interest, or is she with someone else.

UPDATE: She did texted me right now, maybe she was busy, or she was mirroring me. Anyway, she said that she is available tonight. Although, no kiss this time in the message. But I guess that we will make up for it tonight. 😉

ALL air signs 'mirror' the other person's actions. I identify greatly with my Libra moon which is a strong placement, more than my Aries sun. And I do exactly that, follow your behavior. Clearly this Gem is doing the same; try to be more forward with your actions, make your interest in her more apparent.

Yeah, I do now show more interest, I just don't want to overdo it. 'cause many of them are chasing her, and then I would be just like all of them, and she would get bored quickly. Although, she already planned dates with me on Thursday, and Saturday, she has a lot of male friends who are trying to hook up with her, and I saw that they are sending her flirting messages, and kisses, but she said that she is always in good relations with every ex. And they have many jokes like, they want to get her pregnant, or like they're married, she should go with some man who has lot of money, etc. I guess that's just joking so I didn't get jealous. If she's planning activities with me, and also chooses to go with me on weekend, then I guess that she just wants me, even though she talks to everyone that she is single, but it's OK, 'cause it was just our 3rd date. I wasn't dating any Gemini lady 'till now, because even when I run into Gem lady, she was in a relationship, but they always wanted to be near me, and we get along great, so I don't know how they act in the dating phase, and if it's usual for them to act like in the way I described.

So, as I said, I didn't get jealous, I just laughed with her about all of that. I even laughed when she said that many of them are trying to impress her, and buy her attention, but only losers are doing that. I know that girls like to test men, to see if they're jealous, and weak. 🙂

I am not concerned, and I'm not jealous, I just wrote that so I could see if it's usual for Gem ladies, 'cause I weren't dating one 'till now. And if she's planning dates with me, and I accepted already, I don't see how it is playing games, etc. I am pretty affectionate on our dates, so there is no mistake, nor I am behaving like I just want fun, or hook up.

There is no mixed signals. I think that girl should ask where it's going, or about relationship, if she's looking for that, but sometimes people are just spending time together, and enjoying together, without mentioning anything, and they find themselves in a relationship for 10 months, or so. If you enjoy the company of other person, you will not want to break it, if it's all clear.
One her friend asked if she wants to be his gf, but she declined. Probably 'cause of me.

She's looking for a relationship, so as long as she plans dates with me, and we're walking hugged everywhere, I think that it's clear that she wants to be with me. I'm not insecure, 'cause I know that I'm better than those who want her. How do I know that? Because she talks about them, and what are they trying, and how they behave. I find them so needy and insecure...if they aren't like that, she would chose one of them already before she met me.

Well, last date went well, and yesterday she texted me first, sending kisses, and was very nice with me, and today I asked did she rested enough, and to meet with me at 9 PM. She answered cold, but didn't answered about date. I assume that's because she arranged date with someone else, and on our last date, she said that tonight we must go on some specific event, even by force, etc. But I saw on our last date that many of her friends are sending her a lot of kisses through text messages, and it's strange that she is friend with many ex bf's, and is often meeting with them. So she acts hot and cold. I didn't asked again, so I will go out with my friends. Those friends are hitting on her all the time, and she goes out with them..."friendly". She also said that she was always with guys that are not so nice. She told me many personal things, so I found it strange that she acts like that. She always said when she saw one of her friends, that she wanted her to be with them, but she rejected the offer.

And, the question is, if she's sending them kisses, and is behaving with them the same as with me, why she would going with me hugged everywhere, I even met her brother, and he saw us together. It seems when you don't play games, they start doing it.

UPDATE: Last date was in last Wednesday, and it all went well, she was dressed nicely, but after our date, she went to her ex bf house to watch football game. Is it just a friendship? She says that she is friend with all if her ex bf's, but they are hitting on her, and call her while they're drunk, and also, they flirt with her over messages, and she seems to like the attention.

After that date, two days passed, and I messagrd her, she responded immediately, as usual, but without kisses. And from that friday until today, she didn't texted me, but on last date, she said that we must go on sone festival on this friday.

The thing is, why is she making future plans with me, and when that event is approaching, she disappears? And she said that she is nice to someone if that person deserves that.

Maybe she hooked up with that friend, or is dating many guys, or she's leading us all. Hot and cold all the time. I give her plenty of space, so I just don't get it. Ofc, she still didn't responded to message, and Idoubt tgatshe doesn't have a credit like two weeks ago, where she disappeared for a week, and then texted me to say tgat she was out of credit.

OP:

We chase when we're into someone, and the Gem got what she wanted (a date). It was you who never asked her out again. Who's the one being "hot and cold"? Of course she holds back and doesn't give you her most loving self, seeing as how you basically dumped her before the relationship ever got going. She's waiting for you to do something. It's your move, and you're not taking it.

Oops, sorry. I didn't see all of Ozzy's posts til just now.

Ok, just to add that she answered that she have problem with some muscle, so she's out of work for two days, and that means that she will not have money for that festival, and she doesn't want me to pay it. She strictly refused it, and says that it's her turn to buy drink next time. She doesn't have a credit, and is using phone from brother.

I read somewhere that Gem girls are low maintenance, dunno if it's true? Is it typical behavior? She likes to joke like, always see some pretty things in the store, and says, buy me this, buy me that, I like this, I like that, but doesn't really want even drink to buy from my money. And she is borned on 21st June. Somewhere it stands that it is Cancer, and somewhere that it is Gem...I would def say that she is Gem, I recognized many characteristics.

I said that money is not so important, and it's important to see each other, and just go for a walk. She said that if she feels better by Saturday, she will let me know. It seems like she is not so keen to see me, or am I just imagining. Although, still no kisses over messages, but still flirts with me.

Don't know if I should look for some other chick, or is this typical Gem? It's all so mixed. I have no problemwith giving space, I just doesn't want somebody leading me on.