gemini mother inlaw confusing me

Can someone help me out on this one please. my girlfriend and i have been living together for 7 years now. her mom told me that she will never accept it cause her child is not lesbian. anyways she has been over to our home just once when my girlfriend and i had a major problem she was spoke to me properly dint show any resentment but i could sense the nervousness and in the lack of eye contact. in her previous emails to me she never puts blame on me for her daughter being lesbian. but what i don't get is why she doesn't allow me in her home which she dint directly mention its mostly my choice and when i am around her she hides and never comes into my presence. another thing she told me in one of my emails to her, that i made her cry, this confuses me cause i am never rude to her. i even mentioned to her that i know she hates me but she never comments. i am confused because i really want to gain this woman's trust and want for her to accept me in her daughters life. i want to understand her behaviour towards me why does she act so nervous and tense? is this the hatred for me showing? im leo with taurus moon and dog chinese. my girlfriend is taurus with leo moon dragon chinese. i don't know her moms moon just that Shes a horse in chinese zodiac thanks guys

one more addition before she found out about her daughter and i she always told her daughter which is my girlfriend that i am very intelligent someone and my girlfriend told me on many occasions her mom would peek through the window when i walked pass. so i can't understand what has changed why would she not accept me in her daughters life. i know it could be a parental thing but still i am confused. please give me feedback. thanks again

She doesn't want her daughter to be a lesbian. That's all there is to it. You can be the nicest person in the world, but if she doesn't want her daughter to be a lesbian, it's going to be awkward between you. It doesn't matter if she liked you before... she might think you're a fine person with great attributes, but she doesn't want her daughter sleeping with women. If a person can't figure out a way to deal with a situation they can't change or understand, it's natural to try to avoid it.

Generally speaking, Geminis are inclined to be envious .... and she watched you, liked you and you didn't choose her, you choose her daughter.


She's jealous ... plain and simple. Geminis believe themselves to be free-spirited individuals, however, they are totally intolerant of anyone else being free-spirited .. for this reason, there's no way she would allow her daughter to have her own wishes, there's no way the mother would be tolerant of the daughter's life.


Not to worry, it's not you ... her mother would be that way no matter who her daughter chose, though, she would likely tell you differently, since it's you she's trying to dominate.


I am curious as to why you keep contacting her, emailing her?

Geminis are domineering to everyone except themselves (they reserve the right for themselves to be free and experience life without judgement or restriction) .. to other people they are extremely rigid and controlling, and intolerant, like I said ... and you are getting the idea that she isn't going to tolerate you ... so, why do you keep trying to contact her in the same fashion that you have been?


Seven years is pretty long .. in your place, I'd put the pressure on your girlfriend, telling her to rectify this situation.

Next time you see her mother, wait until you are in private and then wag your tongue at her .... she her reaction.


If she gets a tiny little smile, or glints her eyes at you or anything other than being appalled ... then you'll know why she wont' accept you = because she's jealous.



And btw ... she doesn't necessarily have to want you to be jealous ... Gemini females have the inclination to be jealous of people who are happy in general IF they are unhappy .... is she unhappy in her relationship?


If she is unhappy in her own relationship .... then she'll be jealous of you two just because you are happy and she isn't.

Take what P-"Angel" says with a grain of salt. She thinks she understands Gemini's but she doesn't have a clue or she'd still be with hers. She martyred herself in her Gemini relationship, so now she thinks she can pontificated on the subject of us. She's an idiot. If a Gemini calls you an idiot you really are one. Everyone doesn't get that title. Whatever she says about Gemini's is 85% wrong. Listen to Whimsy, she's thoughtful and she knows what she's talking about.

In your post, you call your partner your girlfriend, but in the title, you said you are having mother-in-law problems. Do you consider yourself married? If so, then I agree that your wife should be intervening on your behalf, if she isn't trying to already. It's one thing for a mom to disaprove of her daughter's life style , but another thing to be rude to a spouse who hasn't done anything to deserve it.

The more I think about it, the more there looks like a big part of the situation is being withheld here.

Posted by naz01

... she was spoke to me properly dint show any resentment but i could sense the nervousness and in the lack of eye contact.

... in her previous emails to me she never puts blame on me for her daughter being lesbian.

... she doesn't allow me in her home which she dint directly mention its mostly my choice

... when i am around her she hides and never comes into my presence.

... another thing she told me in one of my emails to her, that i made her cry, this confuses me cause i am never rude to her.

... i even mentioned to her that i know she hates me but she never comments.

That all just seems so odd to me.

If it's your choice to not be welcome in her home, then that isn't her .. it's you
Why would she be nervous in your presence?

Why would you and her be emailing back and forth like that?
You tell her that you know why she's mad?
Why would she even be mad?
Why would she tell you you made her cry?

You two won't come in contact with each other in person, but, you share emails back and forth that sound scorned?


There sounds like something is going on between you and the mother .... there's no reason for the two of you to share scorned feelings in email and then hide from each other in public, and then if you two happened to be in others presence ... there is nervousness and lack of eye contact.


You've done her mother, haven't you?

lol thanks gems, I am surprised i dint even think of the possibility of my mother in law wanting me well her daughter and her look very much alike. well my girlfriend did mention her mom is shy 4me but my dear gems i never thought otherwise. ok firstly we not married but under common law we are in my country that means we living together for more than 8 months therefore i say girlfriend. and no i don't email my girlfriends mom all the time. she or her _\?@! of a sister just pokes at me via my girlfriend sometimes and i email her to straighten the line. she is very inquisitive about what i do when she speaks to her daughter and does it subtly to. this woman can't look at me but she speak to me via email lol when she calls and i answer she remains silent till i hand the phone to her daughter. you think Shes intimidated by me? and i hope you wrong about her wanting me lol i would not know what i will do if that were true. i can't get a chance to speak to her alone she runs away seriously i am starting to think she has psychological problems.

Just by the when i came out of the closet my aunt took me that very same woman 11 years ago to have a chat and she told me there is nothing wrong with being gay her sister was with a woman at the time. she told me that often people thought she was lesbian as well. i have just remembered all this now. she still told me it could happen to her kids as well. little did we know i would end up with her daughter lol

My mother is a Gemini and won't take certain things at face value indirectly from someone like a daughter-in-law. You can see it bad as you do as the daughter-in-law, or as the son of a mother like her, you can see her being real, and concerned for her daughter.

The missing factor here that has nothing to do with you, sounds like the daughter and mother have a bad relationship or one where the daughter doesn't talk to her or have real heart to heart conversations.

It is one thing to talk to your Mom and say yeah I am moving to the next town and I am dating a woman now, and it is a totally another thing to sit your mother down and say "Mom I am okay with who I am, I am proud of who I am, I am sure of who I am, this isn't a fad, I will always be this way and I am doing well for myself". Anything less than that, the person is saying they don't know who they are, or what they are doing, and the Mother is trying to be supportive and looking out for her daughter, meanwhile the daughter is giving the Mother a runaround.

My sister does this to my Mother and my mother is very supportive but every time my Sister is not direct, and unsure and flaky, my Mom questions the situation and worries if it is the right thing for her daughter.

If I was wandering lost and not knowing who I am or what I am doing, if my mother was this way I would be so proud of her that she cares and isn't just letting me fall on my face.

YOU aren't the problem, your hard feelings come from you expecting family life to be perfect for you. Usually nobody gets along with their mother-in-law, and if it isn't the mother-in-law it is something else.

You are trying to work this out, but at some point you have to realize you are expecting a lot out of a woman who is probably not worried about your intentions at all, but worried about their daughter.

Believe it or not, a Leo daughter-in-law has a lot in common with a Gemini mother-in-law, they both say, "I am trying to be nice and supportive, why is SHE behaving like this". The answer is the daughter doesn't have direct and constructive conversations with her mother. Calling her crazy, if that is what the daughter does, is not gonna mend the situation, only make everyone hate each other more and you wouldn't want someone who only met your mother 7 years ago to call what you love about your mom, crazy, just because they don't understand the underlying issue.

It is great you look out for everyone, but I think the daughter is t

@heroic guy Understand what you mean. but they do have a good mother and daughter relationship. they email and phone one another. her daughter has told her Shes happy and i make her happy. they do have a good mother to daughter relationship.

Posted by naz01
Just by the when i came out of the closet my aunt took me that very same woman 11 years ago to have a chat and she told me there is nothing wrong with being gay her sister was with a woman at the time. she told me that often people thought she was lesbian as well. i have just remembered all this now. she still told me it could happen to her kids as well. little did we know i would end up with her daughter lol

Geminis are quite capable of holding two seemingly-conflicting opinions at once. It may very well be that she thinks there's nothing wrong with lesbians in general and be very open-minded about it, but when it comes to her OWN daughter being a lesbian she feels differently.

Posted by naz01

... my girlfriend did mention her mom is shy 4me ...

I don't know what you mean by that. I understand a person being shy, but, I don't get the meaning of it being shy FOR another person.

Posted by naz01

... and no i don't email my girlfriends mom all the time. she or her _\?@! of a sister just pokes at me via my girlfriend sometimes and i email her to straighten the line. she is very inquisitive about what i do when she speaks to her daughter and does it subtly to.

First, if I'm understanding this correctly .. you are saying that the mother, and the mother's sister like to poke at you (I assume to tease) through your girlfriend.

And if that's the case, is pretty juvenile. Though, I'm not surprised .. you only have to look in here to watch Geminis act like children. So, they use your girlfriend to act out their immaturity and what does your girlfriend do about this?

You said that you email to straighten the line .. so, this tells me that your girlfriend, who is the daughter of this Gemini, doesn't defend you or the relationship .. and it is her place to do that.

If your girlfriend isn't going defend you ... then perhaps you need to think about why this is and analyze that, rather than be pondering about the immature Gemini mother and her equally childish sister.

It's not up to you to straighten anything up here .. the reason why it has gone on for so long is because your girlfriend won't put her foot down, and it is curious to me as to why she won't defend you.


Right now, what you need to do is stop reacting. Stop .. don't let it get to you. who cares? Put this into perspective .. they are acting like juveniles on the playground, so if you are a grown-up, then why should that bother you?

The next time they do this ... ignore them, and continue to ignore them until they grow up.

It's like this .... they poke at you, to make you feel bad, to give you attention, even though it's bad attention, and then when you try to talk to her to make amends, she refuses to. Her doing that to you is only there to make you think she controls you, to make you think that you have to jump through hoops to appease her.


Fuck that !!!!!


Take control by ignoring her .. make her come to you.

^^^ HAHAHA rat poison LMAOoo

geminis don't like to say the wrong thing. i give this sign major props. They really do not put their inner turmoils unto others which is awesome! no projection.

Downside is that during the process of maintaining goodness over time their feelings are not dealt with..they slowly get affected by it. They might say "oh its nothing" My bf comes across like this person who doesn't get affected but he does. A friend let him down 3 times already. the favors were not urgent or huge but he talks and responds to his friend like nothing is wrong.but he is drifting away from them. My gemini friends and their issues respond in the same fashion...if what they say and do will not change the outcome they won't even bring it up. it still bothers them inside till eventually they just disappear.Based on the mothers actions it seems that she is unhappy with her DAUGHTERS decision. Its not personal or a judgement on your character but rather her way of dealing with the reality.Nothing she says or does will take away from her daughters choice. The reason for the huge difference in how she talked about you has more to deal with what she DIDN"T KNOW BEFORE. HEr daughter perhaps lied and said your just a friend.roomate. But then RECENTLY discovered you guys were together. Mother instincts kicks in.

i think the best move here is to just let this go. yes LET IT GO. her mother will eventually get over it by just not being around the very situation that causes the horrible things she feels. Don't force the mother to just be great with you...

thank you guys for all the advice. my girlfriend does stand up for me its just that her mother ignores her when she does. i think you guys are right i should continue to keep my distance. i will let your guys know if anything happens.

Hey naz.

Thanks for your Leo advice 🙂 It's appreciated!


I will have to agree with..
P-Angel: When she says that geminis can be jealous of others happiness. This answer comes from .. what the heroic_guy said "The missing factor here that has nothing to do with you, sounds like the daughter and mother have a bad relationship or one where the daughter doesn't talk to her or have real heart to heart conversations."
I am a Tau - Gem cusp and my mom is a Gem -Can cusp. She always told me that she had this gut feeling that my husband is not a good person (he later hit me). I can feel the reason she was doing this was to "try" to make up for what she didnt give as a child (love). It was like .. "she cared" but she really didn't, and it felt like she was only saying that she cared about me in order to justify her own agenda of pretending to care or acting like caring (when she didnt when I was young).

Also, my mom is somewhat depressed. Every time I have something happy to share or have good news, she actually ( I can sense )... doesn't care and says.. "oh ok, good, thats nice". When in fact, I can feel like she IS jealous of my happiness.

You also have to remember, it is very easy to change the gemini mind. It only takes one phrase or one deed to do a full 180 change with me. I've known people who I didn't like, until they said something that I agree with or like (usually intellectually stimulating)... then I started liking them all of a sudden.
The same thing happened when I liked some of my professors at school, until one of the started using foul language to try to be funny, literally in a minute my respect for him dropped!!!

So, the bottom line is that if a mother and daughter had a bad relationship, then mother will be jelaous of her daughters relationships that are working out.

You can also try appealing to her logic (gems are intellectuals)... but saying something like (if you can).. that AT LEAST YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOT DATING A GUY WHO CAN GIVE HER STDs, or GET HER PREGNANT, or CHEAT ON HER WITH LOTS OF WOMEN.

Oh yea, last point, I think gem women are similar to leo men / women? We like the "chase". If you kiss her mom's butt all the time, she won't respect you. If you IGNORE HER, like it was recommended, she will start questioning her power over you .. then she will start inquiring about you ..

If a guy is interested in hanging out with me, and acts like a doormat, and wants to please

me all the time, I quickly lose interest. The ones that ignore me, I want to know MORE about!! (as you might know from my PM on leo).


Good luck naz. Don't worry. Just be good, kind and honest.. and don't worry about what she thinks of you, over time gems usually loosen up and accept life.

🙂

Thank you guys for the advice. last night we went to pick a movie that we left for her to watch (imagine me and you lol) anyway as usual i wait in the car for my girl to see her mom. Anyway her mom did something strange she came to the door and looked out at me and stood there till i drove off its not like her mom to stand by the door especially if its freezing cold. i don't have a clue

ok Someone please tell me why is this woman giving me the stares? every time i wait outside her home upon taking me girl for a quick visit this woman will sit directly in my view and stare at me? what's going on here help