I promised I'd update after my weekend away

I went away with 6 friends (all couples) plus my single Libran friend who I have a huge crush on this past weekend.

3 couples in a bedroom each, Libran and I in a bedroom together (2 single beds).
We drove together (3 hours each way) and were 'partnered' in every activity down to organising meals together and going for walks together.

He acted all blokey around me. I've known him 4 years, and never heard him talk about his bodily functions so much as he did over the weekend. Granted, it was probably the most intimate situation we'd been in (sharing a room) but I didn't need him to tell me when he was doing a number 1, or 2, or even... passing wind. So I knew then and there that it wouldn't happen.

We spent 3 nights together and on the 2nd, he got drunk and said something very hurtful (and wrong). He called me promiscuious - I've never even had a one night stand! I spoke to him about it the next morning and said that as he was drunk I'd excuse it. I'd never seen him drunk before, he's just not a drinker. He said not to excuse it, that he meant it and that drinking is never an excuse.

Four of us drove home together and after we dropped the couple of, we talked about 'us'. He said he thinks I'm *fantastic* but that there are a couple of personality issues preventing us from getting together. He doesn't believe it'd work. I disagree, but whatever. I said "yeah, I'm over it. Not over you, but over it because I know it'll never happen" and he said "never say never". Well my instant reaction (in my head) was 'don't screw me around'. He's just saying this to keep me on side, and I know it. I got all teary, as I've realised more than ever that we'll never be more than friends. He was lovely when I was teary though.

We've got a close friendship, and since Monday night, we've been out a couple of times (so every day since except today). I'm putting it down to the fact that we'll be good friends, and nothing more. He'll be a man I loved but never got to be with physically. And at the end of the day, I'm happy he's my friend. One day I hope to love someone completely and that it'll be mutual. I might be naive, but that's my goal. Because my husband adored me, but it wasn't mutual. And now I adore the Libran, but it's not mutual. Until then, I'll just adore myself :-)

"I didn't need him to tell me when he was doing a number 1, or 2, or even... passing wind."


How romantic !!!!!


I'll bet all the women were standing in line waiting to hear about his bathroom adventures 😉

"He called me promiscuious ..... He said not to excuse it, that he meant it"



That right there would have been enough for me to flip my little tail fin up with indignance and swim away without further ado, regardless of anything else. If he so disrespected my virtue .. he wouldn't be worthy of another thought.

I do have to ask: It appears from how you've talked since this episode that you were willing to just overlook his disrespect for you and allow this "opinion" of you to be present within his perception of your worth, if he had so desired ... and I just want to know why?

If he had decided he would settle for a tramp (my interp of promiscuious) like you (his view) .. why on earth would you be willing to wear that badge?

"He's just saying this to keep me on side, and I know it. I got all teary, as I've realised more than ever that we'll never be more than friends."


To be quite honest .. he wouldn't even be qualified in friendship.

I'd be appalled .. utter disdain displayed by complete ignorance of his existence is the only reaction he would have gotten out of me.

I didnt' mean for that to sound so harsh .. it was just my initial reaction to your experience.

Hmm, good point P_Angel. A couple of the girls that were there that night told me I should be over him. One said "Are you over Libran now? Because after last night you definately should be!".

And I'm not that annoyed with him. Well, I was, but I know that's just him. He is totally against casual sex and once told me he wouldn't kiss someone unless he thought he could marry them. Very moral. Compared to my 'promiscuious' nature (haha) - in reality I'm not into casual sex, but I would be willing to kiss a guy and see where it led and whether we were compatiable...

Part of the reason he's been single for YEARS is that he's not willing to take a risk unless he thinks it'll work 100% . In contrast, I believe you won't know till you get into a relationship with a person and see how it works.

So maybe I shouldn't be putting up with him saying crap like that, but he's been a friend of mine for years and I've never heard him say anything hurtful like that to me before. Now I'm annoyed with him, but I'm unwilling to end a good friendship.

Then again, I find it hard to know when men are complete bastards!

You know....

I always got told "I love you" from drunk people