Need help with Gemini girl!!!!!

Ok girl messaged me on an online dating site. She said she is looking for her partner in this crazy beautiful life. We have been talking and seeing each other for about a month. Everything was going great. She told me that i have all the qualities that she has been looking for in someone. That i was perfect for her. That i am amazing. We have made more plans to date.Like going to the zoo going camping, things like that. However, all of the sudden she becomes quiet. I told her my true feelings for her. This is exactly what she said: I have to be completely honest with you. I really do think you are amazing. You have all the qualites that i want in my partner. The that person i dated, I ended it bc i realized that i wasn't over my ex and i couldn't get over it. That was in May and it drives me insane bc i think im still in the same situation, This ex broke up wiht me over a year ago and it ended horribly and it bothers me that my ex still has that control over me. I really thought I would be able to let it go and move on with you bc you are perfect for me but it just keeps resurfacing. I don't want to get you mixed up in all of that. It really pisses me off bc I could see myself with you but I know that you don't deserve the half assed that I can give you now. I am all about being open and honest and thought you really should know that. I really hope to remain part of your life and you a part of mine but I understand if you don't want that. I think you have such an energy and life about you that very few people have. You def have brightened my life. Since her major ex a year and half ago. All the people she dated she found reasons in them to break it off but with me she can't bc i have all the qualites that she wants in a partner. She said seeing that and not being able to let the past go makes her so angry.

We have talked on the phone . she said it isn't that she isn't over her ex from a year and half ago its that shes not over the pain. She got cheated on and left. So she thought she was ready but she can't give me 100 % right now. She is hoping and praying one day she can give me her all. She does admit that she has feelings for me but She can't commit 100 percent right now until she heals some. She said it wouldn't be fair to anyone one of us. She said i am amazing and she is so grateful God brought me into her life. She said she misses me already and She told me she has been really sad and she is hoping and having faith it will work out in the end.

How old are you guys ? or she ? it could actually be true .. all she says .. sometimes.. we just get caughtup with some story-theory- in our heads..

also.. over the years..i've learned for myself..that my feelings are often just late..very much in wrong timing with the happenings around me ..like..even right now..i am giving my feelings time .. to catch up with my head..but nooo they re still caught up on something.. but i ve seen it before..so.. i am dealing by waiting it out.. (as side effect i am not sleeping very well..but..ah well... and now i rambled off subject.. sorry =) good luck ! she might come around !

She is 28 and im and 33. I am trying to be her friend or be there for her. I said you if you ever need to talk about your past pain i am here. I did say i need time too bc i hurt. And she said goodnight handsome 🙂 sweet Dreas. Today I also said i will give you time to sort things out and let you come to me. She keeps telling me that i am amazing. I don't know what to expect.
I am confused and this was a shock to my system. Didn't expect it because it was going so well. Thank you for answering.

so.. maybe do that..give her time..don't contact for a while..then start contacting slowly as a friend..and u ll see where it goes .. (i 'm 28 too.. double gemini.. and kinda get you both..lol..a guy pretty much did to me the same what she did to u, but then again i kinda feel what she is saying to you towards someone else ..) what sign are you ?

Her ex has a girlfriend and has been in a relationship for awhile. She said its not that shes still into her ex just not over the pain. I feel she is genuine with her words and feelings towards me but at the same time she is scared to fall because she has been burnt. She did say she was falling for me and doing more for me then those feelings of past hurt came up. I am a Leo. The one with the soft heart. I just dont know what to do? I text her a bit since this saturday when she told me the truth. but tonight i told her im giving her time and going to let her come to me.

What was the outcome with that guy? Did he ever come back? I don't know if i should hold on and wait but i don't want false hope

give her time, but also go back and get her after a while.. despite all geminis are dreamers.. that whole knight in shining armor thing.. =) kinda pathetic..but it works

So come back to her and be her friend? check up on her?

yeah..after some time.. give her enough space to realise it's more sad to not be in touch with you then it is scary to be with you .. when i find someone i think is amazing, even if my head is stuck in a story telling me i can't be with someone.. i'd still wanna be friends with them ..

then again...maybe u shouldn't listen to me.. i was never 'nice enough' to tell someone what she told you..i usually have no problem using someone to get over someone else..

I think that is the only chance i have. Give her space and time, maybe she will realize she wants me in her life and might give it another shot. She did say that one day she hopes and prays she can give me her all and make it work in the end. ill make her miss me. we shall see

''What was the outcome with that guy? Did he ever come back? I don't know if i should hold on and wait but i don't want false hope ''


the guy kinda came back.. he started chatting to me a few weeks later.. first it was randomly like once a week.. now its almost every day.. but i dunno what he wants ..haven't asked him..and.. my life is kinda different now ...so..not sure what i want actually..

but what do u mean false hope.. go live your life .. if u dont want her anymore in a while.. then it wasnt worth in anyways.. and .. geminis are curious..so..she'll want to know what you're up..

False hope as in that shes coming back. in my mind she is. She keeps saying have a good day handsome. i talked to her last night. i intiated it. She just wanted to give me time as well. I asked her if i was bothering since i asked to call and i text some. she said you dont bother me . I like that you can be open and that you can talk to me. Last night she said she does want to be with me but she can't now. She can't give me a time when she is finished with her issues. And i said take your time . I know this is a process. So i felt a little bit better talking to her. She is an amazing girl. Shes just a little confused or maybe she is afraid to open up since she has been hurt in the past. We shall see.

Whatever you do, don't ever let yourself be friendzoned.

If you have already slept with her don't expect a commitment or a label. Don't ever bring up the "what are we doing?" conversation. Leave that issue to the girls. So if you're already sexually intimate continue to do so and just enjoy it. Don't whine or be a pussy about it. She'll commit when she wants to or when she's ready. If she ever brings it up then I guess yea, if that's what you want as well then just be glad the offer's on the table for commitment. Just give her the best time of her life.

If you have not yet done the deed then I suggest you don't be too available. Stay busy and don't always be there for her as a "friend." Don't go out with her as "friends" like you are dating and not get any of the Kitty. if she's not giving it up then she's just using you for a shoulder to cry on and an ego stroke. If this is the situation you are in, I suggest you get out of the friendzone asap. Check up on her once in a while like let's say once a month or less is good but don't ever be her emotional tampon. Don't go making excuses for her either ie..that she is a little confused or afraid to open up.

Sounds like she's been breaking other hearts as well so she's not afraid to get detached easily.

Thank you for your opinion and advice. I really appreciate it thank you!

I agree with what the other Gem girls are saying, and want to add to it.

My initial reaction after reading that she's not over her last ex was, "What Gem IS?" If I had never gotten into a new relationship until I was over my latest ex, I would never had had a relationship past the first one. I don't think this is what's stopping her.

So what IS stopping her? I think you moved too quickly, plain and simple. A month is a very short period of time. You were just doing what any guy should do- expressing your feelings and intentions. Unfortunately, dealing with a Gemini girl can be counterintuitive. If you express your feelings before she has decided for sure that she wants you, you can pretty much expect her to head for the hills. You didn't do anything wrong...it's just that you have a Gem on your hands.

I know she's giving you lots of great-sounding explanations (and I'm not saying they aren't true, necessarily), but it's just that often we don't even know why we are responding to situations the way we are. We just know that something isn't quite right, we respond in a certain way, and then we have to try to figure out why we did it when people ask questions. She's come up with an elaborate explanation, but I still think things just moved too quickly for her comfort.

I think you should do exactly what you are planning on doing: back off. Be friendly, but not too available. Make absolutely sure she knows you have a life of your own and that your emotions aren't wound up in her actions(even if they are). I'm sorry if it sounds like a game, but it really isn't. It's just psychology.

Thank you Whimsy. She even said that. You were being honest with your feelings and heart. And she likes that about me. She doesn't want to stop talking to me at all. She wants to hear from me. I just don't want to be in that friendzone. I know what she felt for me was true, I believe she is afraid to fall for someone again.