When you have found that "perfect" one..?

Question for the Gems who are very particular with their mates. When you have found "the one" do u usually know right away? How do you treat that relationship different from just dating in general? Do you only talk about possibility of marriage when you have found that special person? Also, do you ever give up on being with that person?

Yes I have to hear this one! I feel like mine has stopped making time for me which really hurts, but I could be wrong.

Thank you little star, that immensely helpful and what you said definitely resonated with what my ex Gem has said before. Much appreciation for you taking the time to explain and not criticizing others for the questions in the first place.

Posted by Lust
_— wuatt??
I may as well add this:
how did you get into a divorce situation after you married the girl that you "so call" the one?

Seriously,,,Girls, stop being ridicules. Drop the guy if he is not up to your expectation. It doesn't sound smart when keep nagging to a guy who doesn't show any concerns about your happiness!

I don't know how any of that has to do with my questions, but thanks for giving it a go!

Yeah I often think I meet the one and snap back into reality after they fuck me over.

Everyone is replaceable, friends parents lovers.
It's kinda sad.

Posted by Moonbutter
Question for the Gems who are very particular with their mates. When you have found "the one" do u usually know right away? How do you treat that relationship different from just dating in general? Do you only talk about possibility of marriage when you have found that special person? Also, do you ever give up on being with that person?

Every single guy ive dated seriously have been the one... at least for few months....
I normally think about marriage and family with the people i start dating.... i do it right away.... if that someone is not worth for it t then i don't see the point on even dating him.... unless i just want to have fun, if so i wouldn't start a serious deal... and ive had people like that for years, but i some point i do wonder.... is this one the one?
Yes, i would give up on that person as soon as i find out they are not Mr. Right. and i will be done, done for good. i could look back and wonder 'what if?', but pssssst 2 secs later i will remember all the reason that made me snap.

Posted by Tete

Posted by Moonbutter
Question for the Gems who are very particular with their mates. When you have found "the one" do u usually know right away? How do you treat that relationship different from just dating in general? Do you only talk about possibility of marriage when you have found that special person? Also, do you ever give up on being with that person?

Every single guy ive dated seriously have been the one... at least for few months....
I normally think about marriage and family with the people i start dating.... i do it right away.... if that someone is not worth for it t then i don't see the point on even dating him.... unless i just want to have fun, if so i wouldn't start a serious deal... and ive had people like that for years, but i some point i do wonder.... is this one the one?
Yes, i would give up on that person as soon as i find out they are not Mr. Right. and i will be done, done for good. i could look back and wonder 'what if?', but pssssst 2 secs later i will remember all the reason that made me snap.

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Thanks Tete 🙂 So you would say if you were with someone for a few years safe to say you would have a hard time letting them go/moving on?

Not at all.... when a gem is done, really done, will move on super fast, and if you still have something we like (good chats, good sex) we will keep you around as an option until the real one comes along... how do you know that you are just an option? We are not constant with you.... we can be around for few weeks, even months, but then we will disappear on you again... and this could go on for years.

The thing is that as soon as we realize that you are not the one there is nothing you can do about it, our mind is set :/

Posted by Tete
Not at all.... when a gem is done, really done, will move on super fast, and if you still have something we like (good chats, good sex) we will keep you around as an option until the real one comes along... how do you know that you are just an option? We are not constant with you.... we can be around for few weeks, even months, but then we will disappear on you again... and this could go on for years.

The thing is that as soon as we realize that you are not the one there is nothing you can do about it, our mind is set :/

Interesting...but I was the one who always left, not my Gem. He just didn't feel the need to see me everyday, but demanded every week and always communication. So I guess he's not done with me then if he keeps reaching out?

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by Tete
Not at all.... when a gem is done, really done, will move on super fast, and if you still have something we like (good chats, good sex) we will keep you around as an option until the real one comes along... how do you know that you are just an option? We are not constant with you.... we can be around for few weeks, even months, but then we will disappear on you again... and this could go on for years.

The thing is that as soon as we realize that you are not the one there is nothing you can do about it, our mind is set :/

Interesting...but I was the one who always left, not my Gem. He just didn't feel the need to see me everyday, but demanded every week and always communication. So I guess he's not done with me then if he keeps reaching out?

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If he is not taking things further after a long time seeing you i would have to say that you might no be the one for him.... but an option.
When we are sure you are the one we will push things forward after some time, even if it is little by little... a gem standing still with you (even do he still reaches you) is not good. I do that with people i see cause i like somethings about them, but not the whole.... i don't see then as 'the one'.

Ok, question: Have you ever considered having a serious talk about this with him?

Posted by Tete

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by Tete
Not at all.... when a gem is done, really done, will move on super fast, and if you still have something we like (good chats, good sex) we will keep you around as an option until the real one comes along... how do you know that you are just an option? We are not constant with you.... we can be around for few weeks, even months, but then we will disappear on you again... and this could go on for years.

The thing is that as soon as we realize that you are not the one there is nothing you can do about it, our mind is set :/

Interesting...but I was the one who always left, not my Gem. He just didn't feel the need to see me everyday, but demanded every week and always communication. So I guess he's not done with me then if he keeps reaching out?

If he is not taking things further after a long time seeing you i would have to say that you might no be the one for him.... but an option.
When we are sure you are the one we will push things forward after some time, even if it is little by little... a gem standing still with you (even do he still reaches you) is not good. I do that with people i see cause i like somethings about them, but not the whole.... i don't see then as 'the one'.

Ok, question: Have you ever considered having a serious talk about this with him?

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Well I mean we have been seriously dating..we even talked about wedding venues and he mentions having kids with my features..he just in a rut right now personally so I think that is what keeps him from the "next step". We have talked and he said what I mentioned he asks for me to be patient with him. He has spent thousands on repairs to my car, and lots of money on my current car so he has financially invested in me as well to an extent.

Then you have no reason to worry about 🙂

Just be patient as he asked you to be and enjoy 🙂

Posted by Tete
Then you have no reason to worry about 🙂

Just be patient as he asked you to be and enjoy 🙂

Yeah..except I think I blew it w/him. I have a lot of fire (Aries, Sag, Leo) and I can be pretty impatient sometimes, especially when I see not advancement/improvements. I'm learning to wait more but I went from sweet to sour. I told him yesterday "I miss you. I'm sorry I messed everything up." and he replied with "I miss you too. You didn't, I'll take responsibility for at least 50% 😉 Do you think there's still hope Tete?

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by Tete
Then you have no reason to worry about 🙂

Just be patient as he asked you to be and enjoy 🙂

Yeah..except I think I blew it w/him. I have a lot of fire (Aries, Sag, Leo) and I can be pretty impatient sometimes, especially when I see not advancement/improvements. I'm learning to wait more but I went from sweet to sour. I told him yesterday "I miss you. I'm sorry I messed everything up." and he replied with "I miss you too. You didn't, I'll take responsibility for at least 50% 😉 Do you think there's still hope Tete?

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Of course there is!
If there weren't, he would have ignore you big time.... he is not even mad at you, if he was he would have said something rude and sharp to you.
He was clear to you about were he is standing in life right now, you can not rush him, dont manipulate a gem or rush him to do stuff in YOUR time, that is a big turn off and he will start to grow resentful towards you.... he could think: What else does she wants from me?
If you really love him and think he is the one, go with the flow. Nothing bring us more close to a person than them being understanding and supporting with us when we need it the most.

I see it like this: the times he needs, give YOU time to focus on yourself and be better.... stop worrying about something that will happen when it has to happen... he will respect you and admire you for that.... do you have a hobby? is there is anything you have always wanted to learn or study? this is the time to go for that 🙂

AND.... if its doesnt work out, guess what? you will be great, cause in the end while you were with him, you were doing things for you as well 😉

Moonbutter - Your Gem's reply is exactly what I would say to comfort a partner. He's trying to tell you you both are going to figure it out together. And if anyone understands that an Aries anger is never permanent towards a loved one, its a moody Gemini. You guys are good 🙂

Posted by sunnygirl
Moonbutter - Your Gem's reply is exactly what I would say to comfort a partner. He's trying to tell you you both are going to figure it out together. And if anyone understands that an Aries anger is never permanent towards a loved one, its a moody Gemini. You guys are good 🙂

Thanks @sunnygirl 🙂 Soo I have been trying to meet up w/him and he keeps giving lame xcuses...so my last text was "delete my number" he said "you are overreacting I will text you tomorrow." Which he didn't(no surprise)so then a week later he text me this out of the blue "Hey... so I fell asleep on the couch watching North Woods law (because I'm from Maine) and had a wet dream about you. I woke up feeling great lol" So I didn't respond, and after a few hours he sent "sorry... Prob not what you wanna hear." I'm just kinda confused by this...why tell me this? Does he just want a booty call, but then why not try to see me? Anyone have any ideas what is going through his head? Should I respond?

Posted by MissGemmi
If he has a Cancer Venus as a Gem that's very difficult to deal with. You are coming to close. I don't know how it is with Gem males but as a female gem with Cancer Venus I tend to do this when I really like you, but want to keep you at a distance. The fact that he contacted you a week later means he has been thinking about you the entire week or he wouldn't have done the effort to tell you about having a wet dream. When you didn't respond to his 'come back' hè checked up on you again. It is exactly how my approach would be. If I would respond to someone Im not interested in a week later Id just say Hey dear! How are you?

I did the exact same thing with the Cancer I am involved with until she said the same as you did. Forget about me and delete my number please. Now she has me around her little finger. You need to turn the table on him. See, when you act this way we will be the aloof ones, when you act aloof we will cling as if our life depend on it. Cancers are hot when they play their hard to get, but sweet and available style. Act like you haven't noticed him being away, that will freak him out big time 😉

Hi MissGemmi, thanks for the advice 🙂 He has Gem Venus and Mars Scorpio...So you think I'm on the right track with him? I mean what he said was pretty sexual...but I kinda know his humor and I think he was just being playful, or you think he just wants sex from me?

He wanted to find a naughty and fun way to start the conversation. Does he want sex? Sure. But it sounds like he also likes talking to you. Can't a man want both?

Posted by sunnygirl
He wanted to find a naughty and fun way to start the conversation. Does he want sex? Sure. But it sounds like he also likes talking to you. Can't a man want both?

Yes, absolutely. I just don't want him to think of me as a FWB..although I suppose you would have to actually be willing to see the person for that soo who knows what he wants :/ I just don't like being toyed with even if it is unintentional. If you want to hook up tell me. If you want to just meet up to talk, let me know...but this? I just don't get it!

Posted by Tete
Not at all.... when a gem is done, really done, will move on super fast, and if you still have something we like (good chats, good sex) we will keep you around as an option until the real one comes along... how do you know that you are just an option? We are not constant with you.... we can be around for few weeks, even months, but then we will disappear on you again... and this could go on for years.

The thing is that as soon as we realize that you are not the one there is nothing you can do about it, our mind is set :/

So, am I just an option to this Gem girl? We were on three dates, and after the first date, she started chasing me, and was texting me always first. On the first date she talked about sex, and about her ex bf's. She was also very flirty, and was touching me a lot, so I knew that she was attracted. Although, she was mostly talking about herself.

She was sending me a lot of sweet messages, and kisses, but she also texted many of her friends in a flirty way, and they were exchanging sweet messages also. They wanted to be in a relationship eith her, but she just wants to remain griends with them. And even though they're hitting on her, she is meeting with them, 'cause she is always good with her ex bf's.

After three great dates she continued to send me sweet texts, and was making plans with me for the weekend, and said that I must go with her to sone specific place, but when after those sweet messages on friday, she was cold and saturday, and ignored my question about date that she so wanted? I assume that it was because of somebody else.

One week passed, and she didn't texted anything since then. Was she just leading me on? We had anazing conversations, annd her body language was very positive. We were walking hugged everywhere, and everything felt so natural. So I don't understand her behavior. Is it just her age (20), or Gem ladies are like that?

And those three dates were spreaded on three weeks. She mostly had short term relationships because of boredom, like, a month-two, but also one which lasted 2 years, and one which lasted 10 months, and that guy is the only one who slept with her. I'm confused 'cause I know that she didn't get bored with me, and was attracted. Or she just wanted attention, like from her male friends, but then, why she would be seen hugged with me everywhere.

UPDATE: She texted me today, after one week, like, some cold text that she now can send messages again, but she has too many work. What's the purpose for such text and lame excuse. She started with that hard work 3 weeks ago, but was seeing me. She didn't had to send anything in that case. Better that, than a lame excuse. I think that when she saw that I don't text her, she wants to keep me as an option, 'cause she hooked up with someone else last weekend. But I'm not a fool. I will play her game too.

Posted by ozzzy
UPDATE: She texted me today, after one week, like, some cold text that she now can send messages again, but she has too many work. What's the purpose for such text and lame excuse. She started with that hard work 3 weeks ago, but was seeing me. She didn't had to send anything in that case. Better that, than a lame excuse. I think that when she saw that I don't text her, she wants to keep me as an option, 'cause she hooked up with someone else last weekend. But I'm not a fool. I will play her game too.

Why play a game? Just give it to her straight up.

Well, we saw each other, and it was great...day-or two after, she was all lovey-dovey, and wanted to see me again. Later on, she went to her friend house, to watch some game with him. She was dressed very sexy. And while she was with me, he texted her to ask what she dressed, and to send him picture to see. The thing is, when she go with some of her male friends, she doesn't text me for a couple of days, and when she does, she acts friendly.

Doesn't return kisses over messages, etc. Maybe I'm just imagining, but I noticed that. And honestly, I don't believe that she could be just a friend with her ex bf-s. She is pretty hot, so we all know that her friends doesn't want just to be friendly. I'm not jealous, nor possessive, but, as I said, her behavior is not constant, so I don't know what to think. Their texts are all flirty, and all that. But she claims that she is always there for her friends, in any time, or time of the day. But they also call her when thy are drunk, and then they are telling her how she is great girl, and all that. I could see also that she was checking eagerly her phone to see if he texted her when to meet, and her mind was then somewhere else, I could sense that.

And she mentioned couple of times that she would like to see me in a suit, and that we should go on some wedding or something, so she could see me in the suit. Why does she want that?

Posted by ozzzy
Well, we saw each other, and it was great...day-or two after, she was all lovey-dovey, and wanted to see me again. Later on, she went to her friend house, to watch some game with him. She was dressed very sexy. And while she was with me, he texted her to ask what she dressed, and to send him picture to see. The thing is, when she go with some of her male friends, she doesn't text me for a couple of days, and when she does, she acts friendly.

Doesn't return kisses over messages, etc. Maybe I'm just imagining, but I noticed that. And honestly, I don't believe that she could be just a friend with her ex bf-s. She is pretty hot, so we all know that her friends doesn't want just to be friendly. I'm not jealous, nor possessive, but, as I said, her behavior is not constant, so I don't know what to think. Their texts are all flirty, and all that. But she claims that she is always there for her friends, in any time, or time of the day. But they also call her when thy are drunk, and then they are telling her how she is great girl, and all that. I could see also that she was checking eagerly her phone to see if he texted her when to meet, and her mind was then somewhere else, I could sense that.

And she mentioned couple of times that she would like to see me in a suit, and that we should go on some wedding or something, so she could see me in the suit. Why does she want that?

Wow Ozzy she sounds like a handfull...I remember my man-eater days and it was really all about the attention and ego boosts from guys. There were very very few that slipped under the radar and I actually begun to really like and those were tumultuous as well *sigh* But for me once I realized I wasn't interested(after a week or two) I would disappear from the guy's life so I wouldn't hurt him. I guess my point is she will keep doing this for the attention until she finds someone to "settle" down with and respect that relationship. Depending how old you guys are (23/24?) Could take a bit, but if you want her then pursue her and drop the anchor.

Well, she is 20, and I'm 31. Couple of years ago, she was very unstable, but now she said that she would marry to someone if she finds the right one. About that her behavior, well, she doesn't have girl friends, but has many male characteristics, and can be feminine also. She will fight with a guy with no problem.

She also trained Judo, and was very well at it. She said that we're in a relationship for three weeks, even if we didn't talked about that. I met her brother also. I don't believe that she is walking hugged with other guys everywhere like with me. Ofc that she likes the attention, but about her behavior, I red somewhere that Gem girls can be like that, and it doesn't have to be guys fault.

And also she talked with me about everything, and doesn't hide other guys messages, or anything else. And as somebody mentioned here on the forum, they're talking always about ex bf's, dunno why. Also mentioned if somebody cheat on her, she will do the same to them, immediately, and if somebody treat her well, she treats them also the same, and can be loyal. If she chose me for a relationship, even though we didn't talked about it, and I'm treating her very nicely, then I expect the same.

Also, if she is always making future plans with me, on every date, that would mean that she really likes me, and it wouldn't make sense if she is just playing with me.

Also, I know that Gem women quickly get bored if somebody doesn't stimulate them mentally, but I think that is not the case with me. I'm giving her much of the freedom, and expect the same. Sometimes after couple of days without hearing each other, she texts me, and playfully says that I forgot her, and also sometimes she was sending me kisses every time at night. But all that flirting with her ex bf's...dunno.
You can't be just friends with your ex, especially when the girl is hot. Ofc, she likes the attention, but is not an easy girl, even though many want her.

Posted by ozzzy
And also she talked with me about everything, and doesn't hide other guys messages, or anything else. And as somebody mentioned here on the forum, they're talking always about ex bf's, dunno why. Also mentioned if somebody cheat on her, she will do the same to them, immediately, and if somebody treat her well, she treats them also the same, and can be loyal. If she chose me for a relationship, even though we didn't talked about it, and I'm treating her very nicely, then I expect the same.

Also, if she is always making future plans with me, on every date, that would mean that she really likes me, and it wouldn't make sense if she is just playing with me.

I didn't say she was playing you...I was saying you may be the one "flying under the radar" that she chooses to be with. At any rate, it sounds like you have all the answers needed so now what is your next move?

Next move? Well, we saw each other before two days, as I mentioned, and then she went to her friend. Today I texted her, she answered immediately, but without kisses, although she replied in a playful manner. Don't know if I should be dating other girls until I see what to expect, or I should wait, and not think about all that very much. Maybe I should just wait for her to text me, then to arrange a date, and who knows. Maybe time will tell.

We know each other just a month. But she was hitting on me from the start, I could tell from her body language, and her behavior. She almost always texts me first, even many of them are chasing her. If I don't text her, she will text me, even after one week or so. And about game, if I know that, obviously I wouldn't write here.

Posted by ozzzy
We know each other just a month. But she was hitting on me from the start, I could tell from her body language, and her behavior. She almost always texts me first, even many of them are chasing her. If I don't text her, she will text me, even after one week or so. And about game, if I know that, obviously I wouldn't write here.

I think for Gems and those who have aspects in Gemini, it is all a game, until it is not. Meaning this will continue until you make it more serious. So I think you are right, she is into you she is following your lead. Ozzy, what are your and her charts?

Well, if she stops chasing me, I will not start doing that too. Many of them are doing the same, and I would be no challenge to her. Plus, I also get bored quickly if someone doesn't give me any space. But she took a picture of us two, and put it on the FB. I have one Gem girl friend also, and she chased me from the start too,

I know she was attracted from the start, but is in a commited relationship for 6 years, but I could tell that she wants to be always near me. She is with a Cancer male, and about Sag, she said that the chemistry was strong, but she never knew where she stands with him, so that is why she went with Cancer man. And that Gem friend is 28 years old.

And how could I know her charts if I know her just one month? 😄 Plus many people don't even know in what time are they borned. And about me, I know that my Ascendant is in Scorpio. Don't know the details though. 🙂

Posted by ozzzy
Well, we saw each other, and it was great...day-or two after, she was all lovey-dovey, and wanted to see me again. Later on, she went to her friend house, to watch some game with him. She was dressed very sexy. And while she was with me, he texted her to ask what she dressed, and to send him picture to see. The thing is, when she go with some of her male friends, she doesn't text me for a couple of days, and when she does, she acts friendly.

Doesn't return kisses over messages, etc. Maybe I'm just imagining, but I noticed that. And honestly, I don't believe that she could be just a friend with her ex bf-s. She is pretty hot, so we all know that her friends doesn't want just to be friendly. I'm not jealous, nor possessive, but, as I said, her behavior is not constant, so I don't know what to think. Their texts are all flirty, and all that. But she claims that she is always there for her friends, in any time, or time of the day. But they also call her when thy are drunk, and then they are telling her how she is great girl, and all that. I could see also that she was checking eagerly her phone to see if he texted her when to meet, and her mind was then somewhere else, I could sense that.

And she mentioned couple of times that she would like to see me in a suit, and that we should go on some wedding or something, so she could see me in the suit. Why does she want that?

She sounds like a single woman that's just dating...but it seems to me that she's leading you on as well. As a gemini, I am totally oblivious to indirectness. you gotta be straightforward with me otherwise it will go totally over my head. with that being said, just tell her exactly how you feel.