Words from my Gemini daughter - this will probably help us understand the "Gemini Distance Phase"

My Gemini teen daughter is undergoing that phase that she is trying to get to know herself better. Typical as other Geminis, our family noticed that she could be quiet and distant in some occasions. She would close herself like a clam. One day, she shared to us what she really felt in times that she is quiet. What she said opened my eyes in understanding that "Gemini distance"

"I don't want to argue because I don't want arguments to end up in a fight - because I'm the wrong person to mess up with - because I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg

I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace. I never wanted to fight anyone in the first place. Because I'll blame myself in the end for hurting them. I don't want them to be embarrassed or feel bad about themselves. I would rather hurt myself than hurt anyone else. That's why I just prefer to suffer in silence."

Hope this helps. I'm so proud of my daughter, I know what she said will help a lot of us in understanding Gems, yes including me!

Very wise. How old is she?

I don't understand this though: "I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg".

.......plead and bed for a fight? She seems to care a lot, otherwise.

Posted by LittleStar
I don't see anything good from this. Sounds like rationalization. When I was young I kept things to myself because I had no outlet and eventually exploded.

don't you think it's better to have an outlet, rationalize while you're getting to know yourself better than eventually explode? keeping things to herself and eventually exploding is what we're actually trying to avoid and correct.

Posted by LittleStar
I don't see anything good from this. Sounds like rationalization. When I was young I kept things to myself because I had no outlet and eventually exploded.

don't you think it's better to have an outlet, rationalize while you're getting to know yourself better than eventually explode? keeping things to herself and eventually exploding is what we're actually trying to avoid and correct.

Posted by Undine
Very wise. How old is she?

I don't understand this though: "I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg".

.......plead and bed for a fight? She seems to care a lot, otherwise.

she's 14 🙂 gems are known to have the good twin and the bad twin. i think when she meant when she said she wouldn't care if the plead and beg is her "dark side"

Awwww....she's even younger than I though!

The "good twin" protecting us from the "bad twin"! I like that!

Posted by littlemegabyte
I think that's very perceptive and mature of her to realize that as a teenager 🙂

she has the wisdom and spirituality that even her counselors and teachers couldn't fathom would come from a teenager. even my mom who is in her 60's think her depth and perception of things would bring her to places.

She has to learn that silence hurts as well, though.

Posted by Undine
Awwww....she's even younger than I though!

The "good twin" protecting us from the "bad twin"! I like that!

i was actually crying when she said these things. because i finally understood my Gemini ex, why he was distant and all. We're still not seeing each other, but after what my daughter said, I understood the situation more making it easier for me to accept what happened.

Posted by Undine
She has to learn that silence hurts as well, though.

Oh yeah! That's what we are trying to help her understand to prevent from having the tendency to become dismissive avoidant in relationships.

in case she has not copy-pasted it from twitter or ig, these are wise words. most of the people have conscience and become later sad of things they did when they were angry.

^^^^^^^^^ one part is conscience. another part is the fear to have lost charm (being no perfect favorite any more)

Posted by DwellingOnMove
in case she has not copy-pasted it from twitter or ig, these are wise words. most of the people have conscience and become later sad of things they did when they were angry.

she hasn't copied it 🙂 she's a creative writer in her school. this is from a letter she wrote me. i didn't want to post the whole letter though... very very long (and personal 🙂 )

I'm conflicted on this... On one hand she is being "compassionate" in a way but I think what is disturbing to hear is the coldness of how Gems can be where their heart hardens so even when you "plead and beg" it does not move them. Essentially what she has said is as long things are going merrily no problem, but if there is a disagreement she would rather avoid then compromise or talk things out. Sorry, but that doesn't sound very wise, productive or realistic.

Posted by fkpkr

Posted by DwellingOnMove
in case she has not copy-pasted it from twitter or ig, these are wise words. most of the people have conscience and become later sad of things they did when they were angry.

she hasn't copied it 🙂 she's a creative writer in her school. this is from a letter she wrote me. i didn't want to post the whole letter though... very very long (and personal 🙂 )

click to expand

I know what you mean.

who am i to judge the situation.

it's only we are in the e-communication age. our brains get trained by others. our creativity can rarely breathe. because of tsunami of verbal and visual offer.

Posted by Moonbutter
I'm conflicted on this... On one hand she is being "compassionate" in a way but I think what is disturbing to hear is the coldness of how Gems can be where their heart hardens so even when you "plead and beg" it does not move them. Essentially what she has said is as long things are going merrily no problem, but if there is a disagreement she would rather avoid then compromise or talk things out. Sorry, but that doesn't sound very wise, productive or realistic.

yes, she is still young with things to learn. she has warmth and compassion but brewing coldness in her at the same time. we are noticing patterns of "dismissive avoidant" on her, a common trait among Gems. That's why as early as her age we try to give her our insight that it is OK to discuss, and not all discussions lead to fights and arguments.

Posted by Moonbutter
I'm conflicted on this... On one hand she is being "compassionate" in a way but I think what is disturbing to hear is the coldness of how Gems can be where their heart hardens so even when you "plead and beg" it does not move them. Essentially what she has said is as long things are going merrily no problem, but if there is a disagreement she would rather avoid then compromise or talk things out. Sorry, but that doesn't sound very wise, productive or realistic.

maybe that does not move her cause she processes it only intellectually. non?

I though I've often read that Gemini does not hold grugde. (which can only be proven by Gemini Stellium.)

" disagreement she would rather avoid then compromise or talk things out"
I see as an Aries you are very giving with matters of disagreement, arguements and fights.
There are other types of people (like me as a Cat Pisces Mooner) or this Gem, we do not like fights. And if we have to go through it, then we are impulsive and angry. Like a wild cat in my case.

So she is wise cause she has noticed something other harmony loving people would notice in their 2oies.

"I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace."

This could come from a Cat. But she is a Snake I see. Snake is wise by nature. Is she Snake or Horse? Horse is yet another version of Gemini.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

Posted by fkpkr

Posted by DwellingOnMove
in case she has not copy-pasted it from twitter or ig, these are wise words. most of the people have conscience and become later sad of things they did when they were angry.

she hasn't copied it 🙂 she's a creative writer in her school. this is from a letter she wrote me. i didn't want to post the whole letter though... very very long (and personal 🙂 )

I know what you mean.

who am i to judge the situation.

it's only we are in the e-communication age. our brains get trained by others. our creativity can rarely breathe. because of tsunami of verbal and visual offer.

click to expand

yep i get you about the e-communication age. we can still be creative at this period - hard though with all the temptations of technology. she and her brother live with my parents overseas. and my mom is a teacher before, so there's only one TV in the house - computer and FB time is limited to a 2-3 hours, then the whole house is packed with books and art materials! i miss that place because there's an outlet everywhere! you can draw, you can write, you can cook, hundreds of books to read - watching TV bores us. lol!

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace."

This could come from a Cat. But she is a Snake I see. Snake is wise by nature. Is she Snake or Horse? Horse is yet another version of Gemini.

Yes she is a Snake! She is born in 2001! 🙂

Posted by fkpkr
My Gemini teen daughter is undergoing that phase that she is trying to get to know herself better. Typical as other Geminis, our family noticed that she could be quiet and distant in some occasions. She would close herself like a clam. One day, she shared to us what she really felt in times that she is quiet. What she said opened my eyes in understanding that "Gemini distance"

"I don't want to argue because I don't want arguments to end up in a fight - because I'm the wrong person to mess up with - because I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg

I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace. I never wanted to fight anyone in the first place. Because I'll blame myself in the end for hurting them. I don't want them to be embarrassed or feel bad about themselves. I would rather hurt myself than hurt anyone else. That's why I just prefer to suffer in silence."

Hope this helps. I'm so proud of my daughter, I know what she said will help a lot of us in understanding Gems, yes including me!

can you post her chart?

www.turtleluck.com/zodiac/snake/
As you are the Snake, you are the knower of all wisdom and the wise keeper of all knowledge

www.horoscope.com/.../chinese-horoscope-sign-sna...
Wise and often mysterious Snakes are the sixth sign of the Chinese Zodiac.

www.chinahighlights.com/.../chinese-zodiac/snake.h...
The Snake occupies the sixth position in the Chinese Zodiac. The 12 ... Information for the Chinese Zodiac Snake ... The Snake's Personality: Intelligent, Wise.

www.yourchineseastrology.com/.../monkey-snake.h...
Snake is regarded to be pliable. Some of the positive characteristics of the people born in the year of the Snake are wise, discreet, agile, attractive and full of ...

and so fort

Posted by fkpkr

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace."

This could come from a Cat. But she is a Snake I see. Snake is wise by nature. Is she Snake or Horse? Horse is yet another version of Gemini.

Yes she is a Snake! She is born in 2001! 🙂

click to expand

She'll need the wisdom
cause Snakes are to have a difficult life. Good news: Spring and summer Snakes have it better than the autumn and winter Snakes.

My sis is a Snake.

Posted by WateryGem

Posted by fkpkr
My Gemini teen daughter is undergoing that phase that she is trying to get to know herself better. Typical as other Geminis, our family noticed that she could be quiet and distant in some occasions. She would close herself like a clam. One day, she shared to us what she really felt in times that she is quiet. What she said opened my eyes in understanding that "Gemini distance"

"I don't want to argue because I don't want arguments to end up in a fight - because I'm the wrong person to mess up with - because I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg

I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace. I never wanted to fight anyone in the first place. Because I'll blame myself in the end for hurting them. I don't want them to be embarrassed or feel bad about themselves. I would rather hurt myself than hurt anyone else. That's why I just prefer to suffer in silence."

Hope this helps. I'm so proud of my daughter, I know what she said will help a lot of us in understanding Gems, yes including me!

can you post her chart?

click to expand

Rising Sign is in 15 Degrees Aries
Sun is in 05 Degrees Gemini.
Moon is in 18 Degrees Cancer.
Mercury is in 26 Degrees Gemini.
Venus is in 20 Degrees Aries.
Mars is in 27 Degrees Sagittarius.
Jupiter is in 19 Degrees Gemini.
Saturn is in 04 Degrees Gemini.
Uranus is in 24 Degrees Aquarius.
Neptune is in 08 Degrees Aquarius.
Pluto is in 14 Degrees Sagittarius.
N. Node is in 06 Degrees Cancer.

She's Sun conjunct Saturn. Born wise 🙂.

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace."

This could come from a Cat. But she is a Snake I see. Snake is wise by nature. Is she Snake or Horse? Horse is yet another version of Gemini.

Well you are kinda right...I am Cancer with lots of fire so yeah I'm a fireball of passion lol. Funny thing is I used to avoid confrontation, ignore...It has taken me many years to overcome that and realize it takes strength to address challenges head on. TBH running away only made things worse and a never ending cycle. Perhaps this is why so many Gems have a rep for loving and leaving...when the going gets tough, they just run :/

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace."

This could come from a Cat. But she is a Snake I see. Snake is wise by nature. Is she Snake or Horse? Horse is yet another version of Gemini.

Well you are kinda right...I am Cancer with lots of fire so yeah I'm a fireball of passion lol. Funny thing is I used to avoid confrontation, ignore...It has taken me many years to overcome that and realize it takes strength to address challenges head on. TBH running away only made things worse and a never ending cycle. Perhaps this is why so many Gems have a rep for loving and leaving...when the going gets tough, they just run :/

click to expand

then I learned to talk. then it did not workd. then I start becoming hopeless. well, I had to learn about active acceptance.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace."

This could come from a Cat. But she is a Snake I see. Snake is wise by nature. Is she Snake or Horse? Horse is yet another version of Gemini.

Well you are kinda right...I am Cancer with lots of fire so yeah I'm a fireball of passion lol. Funny thing is I used to avoid confrontation, ignore...It has taken me many years to overcome that and realize it takes strength to address challenges head on. TBH running away only made things worse and a never ending cycle. Perhaps this is why so many Gems have a rep for loving and leaving...when the going gets tough, they just run :/

ah, "love and leave"? ups. I've done this.

then I learned to talk. then it did not workd. then I start becoming hopeless. well, I had to learn about active acceptance.

click to expand

You are right, at the end of the day it's all about balance.

Posted by fkpkr
My Gemini teen daughter is undergoing that phase that she is trying to get to know herself better. Typical as other Geminis, our family noticed that she could be quiet and distant in some occasions. She would close herself like a clam. One day, she shared to us what she really felt in times that she is quiet. What she said opened my eyes in understanding that "Gemini distance"

"I don't want to argue because I don't want arguments to end up in a fight - because I'm the wrong person to mess up with - because I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg

I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace. I never wanted to fight anyone in the first place. Because I'll blame myself in the end for hurting them. I don't want them to be embarrassed or feel bad about themselves. I would rather hurt myself than hurt anyone else. That's why I just prefer to suffer in silence."

Hope this helps. I'm so proud of my daughter, I know what she said will help a lot of us in understanding Gems, yes including me!

I get this... She is very wise at a young age. It has it's benefits and it's downfalls...

But, I agree, it's better to shut off and close up than to burn bridges with the ones we truly love...

Posted by LittleStar
I'm a Gemini Snake and I had a lot of ideas about keeping myself under control and not causing any situations that would shake my inner bubble emotionally. I ran from it for years and pretended not to be soft. I hardened myself. And now I've spent a lot of time unlearning everything I taught myself to protect myself. Because while nothing "affected" me, I was completely miserable. It wasn't until I had my baby that I realized I was broken.

This thread might be triggering me a bit. I can see suppression here and think that balance is necessary. But that comes on everyone's own timeline.

Emotional intelligence does not come to Gemini naturally.

The longer I life the more I realize how silly my ideas about life were when I was a kid.

Writing was my only output. I'd encourage that at the very least.

This is true wisdom...it takes life experiences, the good, the bad, all the pain/heartbreak, etc and yet even when we die we only have captured a smidget of knowledge and understanding.

Posted by LittleStar
I'm a Gemini Snake and I had a lot of ideas about keeping myself under control and not causing any situations that would shake my inner bubble emotionally. I ran from it for years and pretended not to be soft. I hardened myself. And now I've spent a lot of time unlearning everything I taught myself to protect myself. Because while nothing "affected" me, I was completely miserable. It wasn't until I had my baby that I realized I was broken.

This thread might be triggering me a bit. I can see suppression here and think that balance is necessary. But that comes on everyone's own timeline.

Emotional intelligence does not come to Gemini naturally.

The longer I life the more I realize how silly my ideas about life were when I was a kid.

Writing was my only output. I'd encourage that at the very least.

hang in there. i also had to unlearn (and still currently unlearning) some things - and most of them I had to do when I became a mom, because I know I have to set a good example for my kids (i also have 10yo son). being a mom inspired me to be a better person. and believe me your child will love you no matter what. the people who really matter in our lives will love us amidst our shortcomings.

Posted by fkpkr

Posted by WateryGem

Posted by fkpkr
My Gemini teen daughter is undergoing that phase that she is trying to get to know herself better. Typical as other Geminis, our family noticed that she could be quiet and distant in some occasions. She would close herself like a clam. One day, she shared to us what she really felt in times that she is quiet. What she said opened my eyes in understanding that "Gemini distance"

"I don't want to argue because I don't want arguments to end up in a fight - because I'm the wrong person to mess up with - because I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg

I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace. I never wanted to fight anyone in the first place. Because I'll blame myself in the end for hurting them. I don't want them to be embarrassed or feel bad about themselves. I would rather hurt myself than hurt anyone else. That's why I just prefer to suffer in silence."

Hope this helps. I'm so proud of my daughter, I know what she said will help a lot of us in understanding Gems, yes including me!

can you post her chart?

Rising Sign is in 15 Degrees Aries
Sun is in 05 Degrees Gemini.
Moon is in 18 Degrees Cancer.
Mercury is in 26 Degrees Gemini.
Venus is in 20 Degrees Aries.
Mars is in 27 Degrees Sagittarius.
Jupiter is in 19 Degrees Gemini.
Saturn is in 04 Degrees Gemini.
Uranus is in 24 Degrees Aquarius.
Neptune is in 08 Degrees Aquarius.
Pluto is in 14 Degrees Sagittarius.
N. Node is in 06 Degrees Cancer.

click to expand

I knew for some reason she would have a Cancer moon and Aries influence. She sounds so much like my Aries Sun Cancer moon daughter. As a Gem she realizes the power of her words, where I've had to communicate that over and over to my spitfire/sensitive/wise 14yr old Aries daughter.

Posted by WateryGem

Posted by fkpkr

Posted by WateryGem

Posted by fkpkr
My Gemini teen daughter is undergoing that phase that she is trying to get to know herself better. Typical as other Geminis, our family noticed that she could be quiet and distant in some occasions. She would close herself like a clam. One day, she shared to us what she really felt in times that she is quiet. What she said opened my eyes in understanding that "Gemini distance"

"I don't want to argue because I don't want arguments to end up in a fight - because I'm the wrong person to mess up with - because I wouldn't care even if they plead and beg

I don't want to fight with my friends and family, I want peace. I never wanted to fight anyone in the first place. Because I'll blame myself in the end for hurting them. I don't want them to be embarrassed or feel bad about themselves. I would rather hurt myself than hurt anyone else. That's why I just prefer to suffer in silence."

Hope this helps. I'm so proud of my daughter, I know what she said will help a lot of us in understanding Gems, yes including me!

can you post her chart?

Rising Sign is in 15 Degrees Aries
Sun is in 05 Degrees Gemini.
Moon is in 18 Degrees Cancer.
Mercury is in 26 Degrees Gemini.
Venus is in 20 Degrees Aries.
Mars is in 27 Degrees Sagittarius.
Jupiter is in 19 Degrees Gemini.
Saturn is in 04 Degrees Gemini.
Uranus is in 24 Degrees Aquarius.
Neptune is in 08 Degrees Aquarius.
Pluto is in 14 Degrees Sagittarius.
N. Node is in 06 Degrees Cancer.

I knew for some reason she would have a Cancer moon and Aries influence. She sounds so much like my Aries Sun Cancer moon daughter. As a Gem she realizes the power of her words, where I've had to communicate that over and over to my spitfire/sensitive/wise 14yr old Aries daughter.

click to expand

let's not forget the reality called puberty