Come On Seriously...?

Ok ladies, you know how you have certain female friends who fit two catagories when it comes to dating? One, the chew em up spit em out kind of gal. The other, one who dates the same type of guy or (close to) over and over again only it ends badly every time.

My Leo friend fits to more of the latter. She's a tall brunette whose done some modeling. She tends to date guys involved or associated with the entertainment industry. She dated a director for a while only to find out he was vigorously using the "casting couch" so to speak.

She's been dating this professional athlete now for the last year and a half. He's a professional baseball player that plays for a major league team. But he is not very well known.

When I caught up with her at lunch, she was very sad and I asked why. She had caught her bf in bed with a college-age looking girl. I felt bad for her until she said this: "Why does this always keep happening to me?"

Now bear in mind, I have no romantic interest whatsoever with her at all when saying this. I'm thinking "are you seriously kidding me?

It's cause you're superficial. You refuse to go outside of your little box so to speak when it comes to men. Expecting a professional athlete to keep it in his pants is like asking Bill Clinton to be celibate. It ain't ever gonna happen.

So, no I dont feel sorry for you. When do women ever learn? You bang the jock, not supposed to date him. Unless you're fine being in a open relationship or swinging. This woman is 30, you think she would have some sense at this point regarding men.

It just goes to show a woman at 30 can have the same emotional maturity of one at 20. Now course, I never said this to her. But god willing, if this happens again and I'm in a bad mood the truth will certainly set her free 🙂

I tend to date within a certain box too, so I understand this. Bear in mind that mine doesnt end badly... sometimes it just ends, but the problem is sometimes you are just genuinely drawn to a certain type. It just happens. Chemistry is very important and most times you find it with people of a certain physical appearance that you are attracted to. Not ALWAYS, but a lot of times. I myself are drawn to muscular, strong willed, bad boys because I need a man that can handle me. I am a lot of woman to handle and can be extremely over zealous. If you let me run you over, I will lose respect for you. I also have the need to have someone in my life that does what I do and supports my life style , thus I seek out certain types.

I myself find that a lot of the men I go for have the biggest warmest hearts of all. They are just big mean looking teddy bears! Its hard to put all men in the same category just based on what they do or what they look like. Personally, I know several professional athletes that are loyal family men and I know some that are PIGS.... as well as a few entertainment type professionals that fit the same, so I dont think its fair to stereotype someone based on physical appearance or by their choice of occupation. People can always surprise you.

Furthermore, your friend is a Leo, so she choses to see the best in people, not always does that work to our advantage and we often end up disappointed by people, however it is part of the Leo personality. I myself am glad that I possess this trait, however it does take a strong emotionally grounded person to not let these disappointments continually affect you and essentially dim your light. Try to take it easy on her. She is just trying to do her thing and is drawn to certain people. She will eventually learn on her own.

Leos are known to be superficial, but not without genuinely searching for what lies beneath. We are not as superficial as you think, we just have certain things we look for in people and if she is a model and involved in the entertainment industry that is a like minded individual to her. Just cause its not your cup of tea doesnt make her a bad person for wanting to make it work. Unless she only dates them to further her career, which based on your post, doesnt appear to be the case. Some Leo women are prone to have relationship and marital strife. It's a fact for some of us, if you research the astrology sites you will find that to be a common mention.

oh LLLTBL... i know what u mean! i don't fall for big muscular, bad boys (i'm a total weirdo nerd so i fall for other weirdo nerd types) but i am definitely a whole lotta woman to take on! i require a man who can both accept me as is (no warranty!) and can handle my passionate intensity (venus in leo and mars in scorpio here). ok, i do love bad boys but not in the conventional sense. i like the quiet, revolutionary types that are eager to fight off the injustices of the world. rebels against society. i also lose respect if u become my personal doormat. i won't tolerate too much passivity in my partner. i guess it's because i look for my equal in a potential mate.

as for u, burrito... i think it would be in both of ur best interests to be straight up with her. i am not exactly sure just how typical of a leo i am, for i rarely encounter other leos, but i fully expect those closest to me to be honest even if it's brutal. i may not like what they have to say at first but it is always appreciated. i take everything into consideration. i realize that it helps to have that objective, outside opinion and it's even better coming from someone i love because they usually have my best interest at heart. she may need that proverbial slap in the face. especially at 30. i suppose i take a lot of pride in continual personal growth as i age. i'm 27 and i would loathe the fact that i had the same emotional IQ i had at age 20. u can use this to ur advantage when discussing this with her. if u can present ur case, focusing on the idea that her pride is at stake here, it may stir the fiery side in her. this may provoke her to improve herself.

also, please don't categorize all of us females into one little box either. like there are only 2 types of women out there. that's absurd! that's like saying there are only 2 types of guys out there too. would u agree if i made that claim? i am neither of these 2 types u described. i have only ever had 2 boyfriends in my life because they both ended up really long-term. my first ended kinda badly but he was also my first love. most of my major mistakes were made with him. my 2nd ended very well and we're still friends to this day. hm, it sounds like u have some resentment towards the female species. maybe because u too have a pattern of choosing certain types of women. absorb paradigm thinking.

Ok, I am never, ever going to write a post again after only waking up a few minutes beforehand. Cause now I'm in a heap load o' Don Imusville.

First just to address Ninjamu, I apologize for not fleshing out what I said more clearly. I dont have issues with women. But what I do have is frustration with some of the stuff on the forums.

A lot of posts seemvery slanted towards "men are all the same" viewpoint. Look, I admit most men aint worth a spit and a shoeshine. But guess what? Neither are a lot of women either. My only intention when I address the battle of the sexes scenario is to give a fair and balanced representation. (OMG I need help , quoting freaking fox news).

There is a lot of cool girls on this board like Capsweetie, Gingerscorp, Satori, (some others my dementia ridden brain is forgetting) that are very objective with both sexes. But there is also a lot who aren't. And my goal with topics that do address gender is to show them that women are just as guilty of what they accuse men of.

One more thing to clear up. Again I wasnt fully awake when I wrote the post. I didnt mean to put women into a category. What I meant was like you know how some female friends can be like that. Not all of them of course.

Hopefully I put out some fires, can start addressing what you guys discussed.

"Chemistry is very important and most times you find it with people of a certain physical appearance that you are attracted to. Not ALWAYS, but a lot of times. I myself are drawn to muscular, strong willed, bad boys because I need a man that can handle me"

I dont disagree at all. Looks are important, but to a point. Now Im just asking this. How can you equate slender guys with being doormats? I'm not muscular, but that certainly does not mean I'm a doormat. Trust me,I dont let women ride rough shod over me. If I feel you are wrong or out of line you will be called out on it if Im dating you. I have a leo mom and pisces dad. My father worshipped the ground my mother walked on. HOWEVER, if he felt she was wrong or being a bitch, she was put on shout.

"I also have the need to have someone in my life that does what I do and supports my life style , thus I seek out certain types."

Funny I used to be the same way. Back in the day I was the atypical hipster snob. Only interested girls that read Arthur Rimbaud and listened to PJ Harvey. Then I had a series of wake up calls. Continued..

One was seeing High Fidelity. I realized turning into Jack black's character scared the living hell out of me. And didnt want to be like that.

I started noticing a lot of the indie girls I dated or hung with, were just as bad as the "mainstream" ones. Meaning they were judgemental, conceited, and condescending. And would look down on me for having low-brow tastes like toilet humor comedies.

Then, when I dated the older girl after the breakup with my cap. On paper, we had nothing in common. She was a huge football nut, loved Alan Jackson, and liked sex and the city. I wasnt a big football fan anymore after being an athletic trainer. I'm not a fan of Alan Jackson and hate sex and the city.

But there was a twist. She had a GREAT sense of humor, could make me laugh my ass off. She was very adventurous into scuba diving, river rafting, snowboarding, things I was into exploring. So we had that common ground to meet in the middle.

My point is you dont always need to have 100% in commonalities to work. Along as there is least something shared and the person is open minded, you can even turn them on things you dig.

Yes there are some professional athletes who are good people. But they are few and far between. This is speaking from my experience as an athletic trainer. Going on the road with those guys was something else. They would tell the hugest lies to their girlfriends/wives then go party and hook up with groupies from each town. Plus the fact even if they dont cheat, a lot of these guys have serious emotional issues. They would either be physically or emotionally abusive to their gf/wives. Oh, and very controlling as well.

As far as telling my friend's concerned, dont think it's a good idea. My father once gave me some valuable advice. He said when it comes to friends, to give none. Just listen to them. I wished I had heeded that advice closer when I was younger. I lost a dear friendship with a Gemini. Cause I tried to warn him about this sag girl. He didnt listen and cut me off. I was out of line and should have never poked my head into his business. We didnt talk for years. I got back in touch with him a few years ago. Found out the sag girl ended up cheating and dumping him.

In the long run, I was right. BUT I had no right to shove my opinion in his face. As much as you want to protect them, sometimes you have to let them stumble. As it is the only way they'll learn. Continued..

BUT, if my Leo friend pushes me for my opinion and wont back off then she'll get the cold hard truth But at least she knows beforehand she was warned😉

Taking a shot in the dark here but .... sounds to me like she's attracted to status. That's no big deal you like what you like but it seems she's so blinded by status that she forgets to realize that it's more complex then that. There are people of status that are assholes (more often then not as they are usually ego driven) but there are people with status that are regular down to earth folks.

IT seems to me that she jumps on the first guy that comes along with so sort of social standing and doesn't analize their personalities.

If she does ask your advice I'd point this out. She just needs to slow down and be more cautious before jumping in. That's all you can do for her though. Sometimes you gotta let them scrap the bottom of the barrel for them to learn. Harsh but true.

Posted by FlyingBurritos80


I dont disagree at all. Looks are important, but to a point. Now Im just asking this. How can you equate slender guys with being doormats? I'm not muscular, but that certainly does not mean I'm a doormat. Trust me,I dont let women ride rough shod over me. If I feel you are wrong or out of line you will be called out on it if Im dating you. I have a leo mom and pisces dad. My father worshipped the ground my mother walked on. HOWEVER, if he felt she was wrong or being a bitch, she was put on shout.

"I also have the need to have someone in my life that does what I do and supports my life style , thus I seek out certain types."

Funny I used to be the same way. Back in the day I was the atypical hipster snob. Only interested girls that read Arthur Rimbaud and listened to PJ Harvey. Then I had a series of wake up calls. Continued..

I didnt mean to equate slender guys with being a doormat.... that was taken out of context. My fault possibly on how I worded/grammatically formed the sentence. I just meant that I seem to be physically attracted to that type. Most people always tell me the reason I end up with guys that possess that "bad ass attitude" is because of the physical appearance. Yet, I find that most times, what lies beneath is totally opposite of the outer shell.

Regarding similar life style s.... well, for me I need that. It's a part of who I am and some people don't understand it if they don't participate in it. Thats all. Not for everyone or every situation. Depends on the situation and the life style .

It just sounds like she doesn't know a good guy, from a bad guy. Basically, she isn't good at seeing their character.

This is pretty much what happens when a girl meets a guy she likes. She gets really excited and the first thing out of her mouth is "He's so nice!" or "He's so sweet!" It isn't till months or even years later than she realizes her prince charming is well prince dud. I have yet to meet a girl who dated a guy who she didn't think was nice. It is kind of like the basic thing. Ya know?

She sounds a little naive and trusting actually. It seems like she really believes they are good guys and later finds out they aren't. From your perspective, you have no idea what they said to her or how they won her over. The guys that tend to go all out in courtship usually are the ones that break the girls hearts (from what I have seen) and yet girls are kind of taught that this is how men show love. The politician I almost married (thank God for unanwered prayers) had me a mess for years because he was a huge liar. Should I have known? Maybe. It just never occurred to me that someone would lie to me about pretty much everything. I was trusting and naive not emotionally immature or shallow. I just trusted the person I loved because I thought they were as genuine and sincere as I was.

Perhaps if you were to address this with her, you may want to tell her not to be so open hearted and trusting, which is probably the problem, instead of saying she is shallow, which is probably isn't.

Also, you are kind of putting men down. (I realize you were tired when you wrote this.) Read in a certain light, you are saying no man would be faithful unless he has no other option. There is a whole economics of love theory that I read once on the internet that would support those claims. I am just not sure if that is what you are really saying. I don't think it is.

If your friend is finally asking herself the question of "Why does this always happen to me?" then she's might be at the point where she's going to adapt to a better situation. While cliche, we are a product of our experiences and growth with time. Using your same example about indie chics and finding that when it came to matters of the heart, it was no different compared to women with other interests. Its all about that epiphany of realization for growth. For some, unfortunately like your friend, it comes later with much pain involved. For others, like yourself, it took a simple experience with a non-indie chic to realize she was someone you could see worth your time.

I'll throw in my cheesy ass example to contribute to the thread.

Generally speaking, I enjoy being my gal's "Knight in Shining Armor" and all that bullshit involved. BUT my grand realization in my 30's is...I can't STAND or TOLERATE women who are the "Helpless Princess" anymore. I can't suffer the chic who HAS to be rescued at the slightest hint of adversity (I've been told never to date a Cancer lol). My realization for growth in matters of the heart came from finding out I HAVE to have a woman with a little sass in her. Someone that's still a lady but also has attitude in her. Without that little bit of fight or sassyness, I get bored and bolt, despite the fact that I like when I can be my gal's hero when its appropriate.

Posted by VirgoHero
Generally speaking, I enjoy being my gal's "Knight in Shining Armor" and all that bullshit involved.

Say it with me....

"THAT'S HOT!!"

Hey Ging! Yeah, it's fairly obvious she is attracted to status. Then again, she is a model and its par the course for them. Which is why I would never date them.

In the words of Ms. Wanda Sykes, "Who in their right mind would actually want to date a hungry, whiny, skinny little white bitch?"

Sparrow, really? I mean really? Sorry I really dont mean for that to come across as caustic OR ANYTHING. It's just, you honestly didnt expect a politician to lie? Most signs dont even need to be a scorp to know politicians are nothing but high class hookers. They'll tell you anything for the right limit of credit. BTW it didnt happen to be Elliot Spitzer by any chance was it 😉?

I would normally feel a little more compassion for her if she was in her early 20's. But given her age and the fact she lived in LA, I expected more. Have to finish this later someone needs to use the computer.

Sorry Sparrow, didnt notice the anything was in caps. Be back shortly

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Posted by VirgoHero
Generally speaking, I enjoy being my gal's "Knight in Shining Armor" and all that bullshit involved.

Say it with me....

"THAT'S HOT!!"

click to expand

Hahah, I thought you were into badboys? lol

I think it is shallow, given most guys she's dated are of high social status. And when you are dealing in that kind of realm, you should be cautious that most people are not going to be what they appear.

I do believe the saying most men are as faithful as their options. For example, if a guy had only ever been dating Betty, then along comes Veronica. You can pretty much bet that he is going to end up having "breakfest in bed" with her, so to speak. Same thing applies to women. Say, if a girl was only dating Jonah Hill but then Tom Welling walks in. Since she has never been "up, up, and away" before, a test flight will be run.

Im not saying all men and women behave like that. But there is a high majority who do. I've become pretty cynical about relationships in general, based on what I've seen or personally experienced.

LeoLady whose to say although they may not have the interest originally, that they wouldn't be open to trying it with you? BTW there are plenty of "bad boy" types I know who arent muscular. Men, who on first impression you would never think are that way.

Yeah, Virgo, I'm staying away from hipster girls. Unless they're hot like Shannyn Sossamon, then I'd be open to deal with their neuroses.

I'm drawn to fire sign types, cause of being raised by one. Women who are passive, in the sense of I always have to intiate physical contact, having to carry the conversation all the time. That gets annoying and old with me real quick. I know being a man, its expected for me to take the lead. But I dont want have to do it 24/7 either. Just basically a fun-loving gal who will tell me if I'm full of sh-t 😉

Posted by FlyingBurritos80


LeoLady whose to say although they may not have the interest originally, that they wouldn't be open to trying it with you? BTW there are plenty of "bad boy" types I know who arent muscular. Men, who on first impression you would never think are that way.

I dont ALWAYS date that type, it's just what I'm normally drawn to, just like you are drawn to fire signs. That's all I'm saying. I can't help that I have that initial attraction. That's just what gets my head to turn and sparks interest. If you look at my latest few suitors, they are kinda all over the place actually as far as the physical appearance goes. If I get to know someone first and they dont actually fit the stereotype but I like them, I'll give it chance.

Posted by VirgoHero

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Posted by VirgoHero
Generally speaking, I enjoy being my gal's "Knight in Shining Armor" and all that bullshit involved.

Say it with me....

"THAT'S HOT!!"

Hahah, I thought you were into badboys? lol

click to expand

Bad boys with good hearts! Every girl wants a Knight in Shining Armor VH!!! Don't act like you dont know this!!! 🙂

* I think it is shallow, given most guys she's dated are of high social status

But how do you know she doesn't have real feelings for them?

* I do believe the saying most men are as faithful as their options.

Fair enough. I just wanted to be clear.

🙂

* they are kinda all over the place actually as far as the physical appearance goes.

Me too. They are all over the place in socio-economically as well. I have a type just never find it. lol!

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Bad boys with good hearts! Every girl wants a Knight in Shining Armor VH!!! Don't act like you dont know this!!! 🙂

*Confident laugh*
But I'm so innocent and naive!

Posted by VirgoHero

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Bad boys with good hearts! Every girl wants a Knight in Shining Armor VH!!! Don't act like you dont know this!!! 🙂

*Confident laugh*
But I'm so innocent and naive!

click to expand

Hold on..... let me catch my breath before I black out from lack of oxygen due to the uncontrollable bout of laughter I'm now experiencing!!!!!

Though the type of guy she is dating does play a role her relationship trends, it obviously has to do with self-esteem issues. Lol I find it funny you ridicule the men she dates when all men are the same.

All men the same huh, Ms Christina? What you mean is all MODEL-ATHLETE type guys are the same. 😉

I'm not trying to ridicule her, just venting. She suffers from Jennifer Aniston Syndrome. She consciously chases men every one else tells her beforehand are bad for her. But ignores it and jumps into the fire. Then wants everyone to feel sorry for her.

There would be more compassion and understanding from my end if she was in her 20's. But homegirl is in the 30's now and she cant act like the naive waif.

Apparently I'm not the only one with an axe to grind regarding her. Her female friends are also getting fed up with the bad boy patterns. They said I should do a "intervention" so to speak with her. I tell them they would be better since they're women and can relate more on a emotional level. I think it's a copout on their part personally, but they say as a man, i can give Leo girl the hard facts.

I dont know. Sometimes I wonder if I should've never even asked her what's wrong. Cause it gets me into trouble every damn time. Sheesh.