Dilemma Aug 13th

I have a really good friend whose birthday is tomorrow (August 13th) and he is a really caring and selfless guy and lately he’s been through some tough times. About 3 months ago he lost his father and his mother has been battling depression ever since and he’s tried to do his best to maintain his family’s business and rearrange his life to be closer to his mother. He isn’t the only child but his siblings could care less because they said he’s single (not married no kids) and they have their own families to worry about so everything falls on him and his youngest brother but he wants his brother to focus on college and not stress.

Because I know he’s had such a tough time and he’s always been there for me (and others) I wanted to do something special for him on his birthday. I reserved a room at one of his favorite restaurants and invited his mother and brother and 2 mutual friends and an extra spot for his girlfriend to come for a surprise birthday dinner. He’s mom was on board and she said it was really sweet of me (it’s also nice to get her out of the house) and our friends have their gifts ready for tomorrow night.

Well, I talked to him and apparently his gf broke up with him yesterday because “he’s emotionally unavailable” and she can’t deal with it anymore. In your opinions should I cancel the dinner and let him have his space, or should I just tell him and try to cheer him up? I don’t want him to feel obligated because he already has a lot on his plate. I just want opinions from you lovely lions. What would you guys do?

Oh lord, that poor guy!!!

I would tell him about the plans, let him know that dinner was meant as a surprise to cheer him up and distract him a bit and considering recent events, you'd like him to tell you if he wants to do it.

Then if he says yes, make sure that extra seat for the now ex is nowhere to be found.

If he says no, reschedule for a later date once his emotions settle down a bit.

Don't cancel that dinner-- what a fantastic reminder of the people

who love him instead of that woman who dumped him two days

before his birthday.


I don't know if I would mention it, though.... I'm a little torn, on that.

I agree with sultrykitty, but I wouldn't say the surprise was planned for

any other reason than the fact that you think he's amazing.

I would ask his brother and mom... they know him better.

But still I'm thinking no... don't let that bitch take away his birthday, too.



Yer soo sweeet. 😄

Thank you guys so much for your input, you all are awesome! I just came home and read all your replies and I will call him and let him know about the party.

I think it's best not to cancel because his mother was really looking forward to this and regardless I want to treat her to a nice dinner out. I can only imagine how painful it must be to wake up alone instead of by the person you've loved for over 40+ years.

I'm hoping he decides to come but I'm not going to push him if he doesn't and I'll just explain to everyone that he just isn't feeling well (I'm not letting anyone else know about his break up) if he decides not to and probably figure something out to give him his gifts and treat him some other time. Our mutual friends are pretty laid back and will understand.

Well, I'm going to make the call and I will keep you guys posted. Thank you all so much. 🙂

Def let us know how it turns out. Even if he says no, he will absolutely appreciate and remember your thoughtful gesture. You're an awesome friend!

Posted by sultrykitty
Def let us know how it turns out. Even if he says no, he will absolutely appreciate and remember your thoughtful gesture. You're an awesome friend!

I know! 🙂

Def let us know how it went.


STILL waiting to hear how Damny's visit went with her LEO.

Haven't heard a thing!

Yeah, updated usually end up being crickets. Even my own solitary thread ended up without one. lol.

*updates usually end up...*

Well last night I called him and he was busy but promised to call me back and he said "I think I know what it's about but don't worry I'll call you back" and so I went ahead and waited. He called back hours later and then said he knows why I called and everything is ok and he's fine. I was like oh you do (thinking his mom or bro told him) and said that's GREAT see you at 7ish, but he then was like "huh?" and sounded confused.

Well long story short, apparently he found out via text from another friend that his now ex has been cheating on him with an acquaintance of his for about a month now. YIKES! Damn this man can't catch a break but I casually told him to let me treat him to dinner for his birthday tomorrow (something I had planned on saying for a week now) and he agreed and said he much rather talk to me in person anyway and said a free meal is always nice to get.

So tonight the dinner is on and I think he thinks it's just us but I'm sure he'll be surprised pleasantly to see his mom and younger bro and our two friends there. We all have bought gifts and c'mon who doesn't like gifts from people who care about you. I'm looking forward to this and I hope he doesn't let anything ruin his day but I know that at least tonight at dinner we will all do our best to make him feel special.

This is such a sweet thing from you! hope u all have a great time! 🙂

now i have a dilemma lol .. dont knw when to wish him a happy birthday... he was born really late that day of 15 august at night ..like 3 am .. so that makes it 16 august ... so mm do i wish him on 15? or 16? .. puzzled lol

Thanks Metalaqua for the update. Have a fantastic time! I'm so glad he said yes! :-)

Posted by TxOgal
This is such a sweet thing from you! hope u all have a great time! 🙂

now i have a dilemma lol .. dont knw when to wish him a happy birthday... he was born really late that day of 15 august at night ..like 3 am .. so that makes it 16 august ... so mm do i wish him on 15? or 16? .. puzzled lol

I'd wish him a happy birthday on the 16th if I were you. Unless it was just early morning Aug 15th. Either way, he'd appreciate that you remembered. 🙂

Posted by sultrykitty
Thanks Metalaqua for the update. Have a fantastic time! I'm so glad he said yes! :-)

It was a great dinner and he seemed to enjoy it. He teased me and said he knew that I'm not full robot. Lol

His mom also seemed in good spirits so I think seeing her enjoy herself made him feel a bit better than what he has been feeling. 🙂

Posted by metalaquamonkey

Posted by sultrykitty
Thanks Metalaqua for the update. Have a fantastic time! I'm so glad he said yes! :-)

It was a great dinner and he seemed to enjoy it. He teased me and said he knew that I'm not full robot. Lol

His mom also seemed in good spirits so I think seeing her enjoy herself made him feel a bit better than what he has been feeling. 🙂

click to expand

NICE! 🙂

I'm sure he did enjoy it.

Infidelity has a way of making a person feel 'less than' at times,

and I'm sure it was a fabulous reassurance that he was

anything but.

Good call... and yes, thanks for the update.

Im so happy that worked out! Surely they all appreciated what you did 🙂

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
aquas are the best 😄

Posted by ZelaleZ
sorry babe if my input comes a little late but i read the thread and I am happy that it turned out great and he's lucky to have you as a friend. i hope he's feeling better now and that his mother will slowly recover from depression.


btw, I was curious about the restaurant though.. what type of cuisine ..?

Aww, thx. 🙂 Last time I talked to him (Sunday) I asked about his mom and how he's doing and he said fine. I might see him this weekend and I know he prefers talking about personal things in person than over the phone.

It was Mediterranean food btw.