Leo man mad I snooped through his computer

Hi, so have been seeing this Leo guy for 8 months. In the beginning we were casual and after about 2 months ofnalways hanging out and hooking up he almoat hooked up with this girl who he was just "friends" with and he confessed to me. I forgave him as i knew he liked her before I came along . There was a bit of drama regarding her and he and other people stopped being friends with her. A few months ago in October they met up to clear tge air about what she had done to him and the drama she caused. This was 6 months of us together where we established we arent talking to anyone and we were working on things as we really liked each other and wantes to move forward. I told him if he hangs out with her that i cant continue to be intimate with him and he said no problem, done deal that he wont. She apologized to me a little before then and i accepted the apology but that was before I learned from him that she offered to have sex if he took her home on his bday in August to which he didnt. A week ago she messaged me to hang out and I ignored it and let him know and he told me she messaged him too and tbat he told her maybe on Sunday they will hang out but that he just lied to her (he made it seem like he was doing it out of spite) and we got into an argument bc I said there is no way i would feel comfortable with them hanging, something about his responses to her didnt sit well with me. He eventually told her that day he cant be friends with her anymore bc he loves and respects me. Ever since then we have been have THE most amazing moments. He left me alone in his apt as he often does when he goes to work and I thought ok this is obviously going to progress into a bf gf relationship, as ive been wanting it and we didnt before bc we argued a lot which that has stopped so i need to find out for sure whats happening. Long story short, I got into his laptop and saw messages between him and her in December where he planned to hang out with her. I also read messages between his ex and him as he slept with her once in October and age asked to date again and he said no and made it seem it was bc of me. Before letting him know I snooped I asked him questions like did u hang out with her after clearinf the air or have spoken to her since then and he said no and was mad I didnt believe him. He lied so I showed him the messages I found and he was extremely pissed I went through his things, with good reason. He blocked me everywhere and we exchanged emails where he aaid he feels I betrayed his privacy and trust. But he betrayed mine first and I also feel he betrayed my body because my one condition to continuing our intamacy and progress our relationship is if he doesnt see her. He said at the end of the email "i may come back, i may not...i dont know right now" this has been a complicated 8 months but the moments we shared lately I want to believe our real but idk. I feel i should move on deapite him saying i love you and cutting her off for me which i knownos True bc she messaged me upset about it.

Any thoughts about this from Leos out there? Ill take the brutal truth no matter how harsh. Did he ever care at all?

Also, what does this behavior mean? Is this typicam of a Leo? He says he doesnt liketo burn bridges or hold grudges ans thats why he wanted to be friends with her again. He says what i read doesnt trump what I did as far snooping and that he did nothing wrong bc they never ended up meeting anyways

Posted by aquarius_beauty
Well first and foremost you're not in a relationship with him, therefore he has no obligation to be faithful to you. Because technically it wouldn't be cheating.

Second of all, Leos do like to keep their exes as 'friends' (more like being friendly) because they don't like to hold to grudges (like you said).

Keeping them in the picture though screams to me like he may not be over her. Like he's keeping her in the sidelines in case the relationship with you falters or vice verse.

The fact hat he hasn't committed indicates that he may not be as into you as you are into him.

Forgot to add, he's just mad that he got caught. Plain and simple. Not a sign thing but a human reaction to guilt.

You should cut him lose and if he comes back set boundaries and state your terms.

What's your sign btw? What's hers?

I am a Scorpio Sun / Pisces Moon, he is a Leo Sun / Virgo Moon, his ex is a Virgo, and that other girl is a Libra.

Posted by leowww
Honestly.

So many red flags.

You're seeing this Leo for 8 months.

What does it mean?

Are you bf / gf ?

Otherwise your foundation is shaky from the start.

He hooked up with another woman but you two were casual... So basically he fucked around and because you got no status title you let it go.

"long story short I got into his laptop "

Yea you snooped, you can't be trusted and neither can he.

So what does it matter if he meant what he said?

He was playing around during your time together. You asked and he lied and then you confessed snooping and now he also doesn't trust you.

If he comes back, I doubt any good will come out of it.

We aren't bf/gf but we act like it and have gotten into the i love yous and seeing or talking to each other every single day. We started off casual because I just got out of a long term relationship and at that time he was trying to get his ex back right before he met me.

Yes, I did snoop because I didn't want to get into something more serious with him if his actions and words were not matching up because I would go into it being deceived. But, I also do understand that relationships and love are a risk and you can never really know what is behind the scenes. It was an impulse action as I have stayed over several times and never thought about it but when that other girl texted me I just had a feeling to check.

There was a lot of arguments that left him feeling not good enough for me and not confident, so he has said several times before. I am sure, as some things I say can be harsh.

Thanks for the responses. Going to take some time to be alone and just let things play out.

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by Amoroussting10

Posted by aquarius_beauty
Well first and foremost you're not in a relationship with him, therefore he has no obligation to be faithful to you. Because technically it wouldn't be cheating.

Second of all, Leos do like to keep their exes as 'friends' (more like being friendly) because they don't like to hold to grudges (like you said).

Keeping them in the picture though screams to me like he may not be over her. Like he's keeping her in the sidelines in case the relationship with you falters or vice verse.

The fact hat he hasn't committed indicates that he may not be as into you as you are into him.

Forgot to add, he's just mad that he got caught. Plain and simple. Not a sign thing but a human reaction to guilt.

You should cut him lose and if he comes back set boundaries and state your terms.

What's your sign btw? What's hers?

I am a Scorpio Sun / Pisces Moon, he is a Leo Sun / Virgo Moon, his ex is a Virgo, and that other girl is a Libra.

Wow so he has two girls in the picture? Yeah I wouldn't stick around, honestly. Just walk away. If he comes back then set boundaries.

click to expand

Not really. The ex is a non factor now and the other girl is just a friend. He knows and she admitted that she was using him as she did other guys (but never admitted to that) to get over her ex. I know, such a mess.

He just misses hanging with her and I can understand why she is a cool girl aside from the drama and they were friends for a while

Posted by TheLibraMudra
A Leo man can make the best moments, huh? Nothing like it. But those are just moments. Leave him. All bad. No more to say. Don't do the friends bull crap either.

He is my first Leo and wow yea best moments, seems full of life. I see how leos are SO flirtatious! He is quite sensitive and shy and insecure but at moments is extremely confident and prideful.

All bad because of the situation I am in with him? So confusing when there are equally, if not more great moments that seem to be from the heart. Very intimate moments, but now I would believe that he would easily have that with another female if she caved in to him.

Knowing him in other situations, he will contact me again, at least to let me know if he wants to end it or continue it.

Will keep you guys updated, I tend to make emotional choices that aren't always the best for me so maybe I could get some help. I am also bipolar so unfortunately my mood sometimes affects how I will react or if I am willing to give in or not. I also think I can be either naive or paranoid lol

Posted by TheLibraMudra

Posted by Amoroussting10

Posted by TheLibraMudra
A Leo man can make the best moments, huh? Nothing like it. But those are just moments. Leave him. All bad. No more to say. Don't do the friends bull crap either.

He is my first Leo and wow yea best moments, seems full of life. I see how leos are SO flirtatious! He is quite sensitive and shy and insecure but at moments is extremely confident and prideful.

All bad because of the situation I am in with him? So confusing when there are equally, if not more great moments that seem to be from the heart. Very intimate moments, but now I would believe that he would easily have that with another female if she caved in to him.

They have a way of making you feel like you're the only one lol. Better than any sign from my experiences.

When I was younger, I was into one. Very romantic. Lots of fun. He had so many female friends, though. Girls he used to date and all. They would come hang out with us but I don't really play that. It's you and I time. Not you, your harem and I time. He wanted to be serious with me. I just knew it was not a trust worthy situation. Never gave it up to him but he would try like hell. Take me to sweet look out points after dates. Blah, blah, exclusive, mushy words. One night, we were making out in the car. I was just about to suck it and his phone started ringing. 1am. Then kept ringing. And ringing. He tried to say it was his ex harassing him. I told him to answer it if he didn't have anything to hide. He did. "When are you coming home?!!?? Who are you out with?! You were supposed to come home, I've been waiting so long!!" His actual gf. Not ex. I asked him to take me home and that was it. All his "I miss you" crap was just dead.

Those are not small, white lies. Those are major. There are other Leos out there for even better moments without the deceit.

I'm marrying one 9 years later.

click to expand

That is my exact situation to the T at first. His circle of friends involves girls he has slept with, more than anyone else I've known, does make me feel like I am the only one, romantic, lots of fun, exclusive, mushy words, makes me feel like it is just him and I existing in the world. I was so able to accept all of that because of the illusion presented and his upbringing and besides the females he presents himself to everyone as a very sweet person, because he is. I have seen him go out of his way for other people several times, has a good heart which turns trecherous and he has shared with me deep, intimate details about his life that anyone would feel vulnerable saying.

So interesting and puts a lot into perspective

Posted by Amoroussting10
Hi, so have been seeing this Leo guy for 8 months. In the beginning we were casual and after about 2 months ofnalways hanging out and hooking up he almoat hooked up with this girl who he was just "friends" with and he confessed to me. I forgave him as i knew he liked her before I came along . There was a bit of drama regarding her and he and other people stopped being friends with her. A few months ago in October they met up to clear tge air about what she had done to him and the drama she caused. This was 6 months of us together where we established we arent talking to anyone and we were working on things as we really liked each other and wantes to move forward. I told him if he hangs out with her that i cant continue to be intimate with him and he said no problem, done deal that he wont. She apologized to me a little before then and i accepted the apology but that was before I learned from him that she offered to have sex if he took her home on his bday in August to which he didnt. A week ago she messaged me to hang out and I ignored it and let him know and he told me she messaged him too and tbat he told her maybe on Sunday they will hang out but that he just lied to her (he made it seem like he was doing it out of spite) and we got into an argument bc I said there is no way i would feel comfortable with them hanging, something about his responses to her didnt sit well with me. He eventually told her that day he cant be friends with her anymore bc he loves and respects me. Ever since then we have been have THE most amazing moments. He left me alone in his apt as he often does when he goes to work and I thought ok this is obviously going to progress into a bf gf relationship, as ive been wanting it and we didnt before bc we argued a lot which that has stopped so i need to find out for sure whats happening. Long story short, I got into his laptop and saw messages between him and her in December where he planned to hang out with her. I also read messages between his ex and him as he slept with her once in October and age asked to date again and he said no and made it seem it was bc of me. Before letting him know I snooped I asked him questions like did u hang out with her after clearinf the air or have spoken to her since then and he said no and was mad I didnt believe him. He lied so I showed him the messages I found and he was extremely pissed I went through his things, with good reason. He blocked me everywhere and we exchanged emails where he aaid he feels I betrayed his privacy and trust. But he betrayed mine first and I also feel he betrayed my body because my one condition to continuing our intamacy and progress our relationship is if he doesnt see her. He said at the end of the email "i may come back, i may not...i dont know right now" this has been a complicated 8 months but the moments we shared lately I want to believe our real but idk. I feel i should move on deapite him saying i love you and cutting her off for me which i knownos True bc she messaged me upset about it.

Any thoughts about this from Leos out there? Ill take the brutal truth no matter how harsh. Did he ever care at all?

He didn't make you his girlfriend he just treated you like one while he was sleeping with someone else. Forget about him ask yourself this question is that what you deserve? Do you want to get into a relstionship with a man you don't trust and have to snoop around and see if his words match up?

You knew he wasn't telling the truth so you

snooped, you were right, and now its over.



-THE END-

Well...you agreed to keep being attached to someone who said he wanted to be single.

Then looked into his private things as if you're entitled to him..

But..honestly I did not read that entire thing.

Just..acknowledge what you like in him, take it as "I like those qualities",

and don't take your relationship with him seriously.

Just like he doesn't take it seriously.

But yeah there is no excuse for the lying about that with you.

We have a saying in the Netherlands that roughly translates to; how much you trust others is how much you can be trusted yourself.

I think in this case it might apply a little...which in the end could have something to do with signs or whatever, but you didn't give him your trust by snooping, which isn't very solid of you either, so you can say you're both not to be trusted.

Basic human interaction.

If he would cheat or something in that line it will all reveal itself over time, no need to go snooping by yourself, keep your own standards high.

But if you didn't trust him in the first place, because you felt you needed to check his private stuff, then I wonder why you want this relationship in the first place..

Do hope you find some clarity for yourself in this ^^

Posted by DickButt
Embarrassing porn is embarrassing whether your mom sees it or a girl who think's she's your girlfriend sees it.

Nah, we talked about watching porn all of the time.

Posted by SMC
We have a saying in the Netherlands that roughly translates to; how much you trust others is how much you can be trusted yourself.

I think in this case it might apply a little...which in the end could have something to do with signs or whatever, but you didn't give him your trust by snooping, which isn't very solid of you either, so you can say you're both not to be trusted.

Basic human interaction.

If he would cheat or something in that line it will all reveal itself over time, no need to go snooping by yourself, keep your own standards high.

But if you didn't trust him in the first place, because you felt you needed to check his private stuff, then I wonder why you want this relationship in the first place..

Do hope you find some clarity for yourself in this ^^

You know, I have been trying to figure this out myself. The reason I have come up with is I like companionship and we had a lot of great, fun, loving memories together. Could be how I was raised, a pretty dry family so I sometimes just take breadcrumbs thrown to me it feels like, or I don't think I deserve any better.

Sometimes it feels like it is hard to dissect what is good or not because if I am contributing to the problem, I don't see it as entirely bad. We stopped arguing as much (partly because I stopped complaining as much) and things were going well and he was actually doing a lot of things I deemed special, but I still went ahead and snooped. I don't think I can be trusted either, I don't trust people to begin with and I have snooped before honestly.

Posted by SalamanderCandy
Well...you agreed to keep being attached to someone who said he wanted to be single.

Then looked into his private things as if you're entitled to him..

But..honestly I did not read that entire thing.

Just..acknowledge what you like in him, take it as "I like those qualities",

and don't take your relationship with him seriously.

Just like he doesn't take it seriously.

Thanks. I have been doing that and that thought of finding someone in the future that has qualities like his keeps me hopeful. This situation didn't work out and in reality it never seemed right or at least never left me with a lasting happy effect so I hope to find someone who I am more compatible with emotionally and with communication.

Sucks because once I stopped being as emotional as I normally am, and approached situations more rationally, our relationship was growing into something beautiful and solid. But, honestly I am the kind of the person that destroys all things good...but at the same time maybe that is a fantasy.

This has been such a mindfuck experience lol

Honestly, you're telling a person who their friends can be, and invade their privacy. Sure he doesn't sound honest, but neither do you. No one should be told who they can hang out with. That is just kind of messed up. So you both kind of have some growing to do, but either way I don't think that is a relationship worth keeping alive.

Learn to trust your gut. If things are not right knowing the truth is not important. Have some self-respect and walk away. 🙂 Better to do that now then be stuck with 3 kids.

Posted by spur
Honestly, you're telling a person who their friends can be, and invade their privacy. Sure he doesn't sound honest, but neither do you. No one should be told who they can hang out with. That is just kind of messed up. So you both kind of have some growing to do, but either way I don't think that is a relationship worth keeping alive.

Learn to trust your gut. If things are not right knowing the truth is not important. Have some self-respect and walk away. 🙂 Better to do that now then be stuck with 3 kids.

I agree and I do feel bad about telling him to choose him or her, but the reason I did is because I said I cannot continue to have sex with him if he is hanging out with her...never said I would stop being friends. He made the decision to say he wont hang out with her and then through my invasion I found out he planned to. So was it right I went through his stuff? no, but I don't regret it because I would have continued to be sexually and emotionally involved and he was gaining that off of deceit.

I completely agree with trusting my gut. That is something I was thinking about earlier actually, because from the get go there were a few red flags. I don't regret this experience at all because this was a lesson about myself life has been trying to teach me for a long, long time and it finally hit home.

Thanks for the feedback. Definitely need some more growth in this area.