real

Here is MY version of a lioness in like (maybe love)


Let's see. How am I feeling right NOW? It's not so easy.

Scared. Really scared. It's been a long time since I've been with anyone new. What's his sign? Who cares!

I only plan on lurking that room for now. No posting. I'd like to imagine I can get to know him on my own. Yet at the same time I am all up in everyones business about what a real relationship should be like. Lately I have been constantly asking people about their relationships/marriage. I need to know how other people deal. How they can stay with someone for so long without killing each other. My scorp and I never lived with each other and the one person I did live with for a long period of time I feel I should have prepared more for.

Yep. Scared. And questions, questions questions.

I didn't do the pursuing (a leo thing). In fact I pushed away for obvious reasons. He pushed back even harder. For 2 years. Of course I liked it. What woman wouldn't if she really likes him but is ....... SCARED. Yes, I like this kind of attention right now from this person.

I'm full of questions. What if ... WHY especially why .... Is this reeeeeaaallly real and who are you really?? etc ....

I am currently trying to suppress butterflies that I don't trust. Trying to keep from saying something that may change in the future. Like love ... It gets tossed around so easily it's a lie most of the time. I don't trust the beginning stages of anything because it goes away eventually. And it's not who someone really is.

There's that word again ... real.

I want real. My feelings are real. Yes, I like him. I'm certain. At the same time I'm also asking myself if I could possibly be lying to myself. Because once I am convinced this is real I will bend over backwards to make this person happy. And possibly become stuck forever thinking about this person like I always do. To the point of obsessing.

lmao!! Yes, I'm a crazy freak. I'm not really looking for advice. I just keep seeing all these posts about 'leo in love' and well, I thought this was the perfect time to post what was actually happening.


Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings 🙂

....would i be unhappy if i never saw or spoke to this person again? and i am a total list maker...

THANK you for being another leo who can relate. I wonder the same thing "will I miss this person if they disappeared?" This means more than the current butterflies.

People keep telling me to enjoy it while you can. What does that mean?? I don't want to enjoy what will eventually end. Negative thinking, sucks I know. But I have this caution button that I can't help.

Anyway, thanks.

....to not be so controlling and thinking everything has to be my way all the time....

All of a sudden you want to compromise. That's one of the ways you KNOW you're in love I think. At least for a Leo (maybe). When you can find someone who has the courage of their convictions that matches yours. I don't want someone to bow down to me. I could never respect that person. Just someone who believes strongly. Like me. And can convince me that their beliefs are worth considering. It may not make me believe but just 'consider' or undertsand. I may bend. Maybe.

Wait, so this guy pursued you for two years? Does that mean it's okay if I keep pursuing that one girl I liked? I've got a whole 9 months left although technically I think I have 11 months because I've been inactive on that front for the last 2.

Is it like, not to say these relationships you guys are talking about aren't work, but I read a lot of stuff about how they're work, and you have to make all kinds of compromises, and I think what you guys are saying is that you've like met people who make the compromises that there are more automatic for you, where you find yourself actually wanting to make them because you feel like it, rather than making them despite the fact that you don't want to.

.......Wait, so this guy pursued you for two years? Does that mean it's okay if I keep pursuing that one girl I liked? I've got a whole 9 months left although technically I think I have 11 months because I've been inactive on that front for the last 2.........

banini, still trying? My situation may have changed my mind about yours a little then. Persistence really does pay off sometimes. In my case I had a boyfriend and he respected that. At the same time he made it perfectly clear he liked me and called me everyday. This person has been a really good friend of mine. He scored points this way. And truthfully it's the good friends that should get special consideration because you have already gotten to know each other. If you really like her and sincerely want to be a true friend (and she to you

............and comes back again, like Deja Vu.....

Aw. It does, doesn't it?


.........The Illusionist, painting the purrrrfect picture.....

Yep. Exactly what I don't want. To be attracted to/sold something empty.



...Dame what is real these days, makes u wonder...

lol Thanks for that little dose of reality.

Merry x-mas to you as well choco.

hey purrr...the difference between this relationship and the others is that you are a lot more self-aware and self-conscious. That's great...keep asking questions, and having doubts, because no matter what, you will always, only, love whole heartedly. Questions about your self and your own reality will lead to self discovery. It's pretty awesome that this guy has this effect on you, now. Keep doin what you're doin'

When we truly care about another we become vulnerable and that is scary. Good luck purrr. May all joy and happiness in heaven rain down upon you.

...you will always, only, love whole heartedly.....

🙂


tiki,

I replace the word love with other things too. Somethings just hit home a little better. He seems a little hurt that it doesn't come as easily for me as it does him. They are just words, really. I don't think I can suck the life out of them anymore than I already have lol



..............i do let him chase me but what happens when the chase is over............

ha!! This was one of my concerns too! What if he just likes to chase? What if that's all this is really about and he hasn't realized it yet? Can he handle it a couple months down the line when things are cozy between us? And most importantly, Can he handle being loved back?? Some just like to see if they can get past the word NO.

blah.

Please you guys, feel free to not attempt to answer my questions. They are just scattered worries with no answers, I know it.

Anyhow, so far so good.

Do you ever think that if you fear something enough you can make it happen on your own? Anyone know what I mean? I should probably shut up.


Thanks you guys.

fear and love don't go together, one is real, the other a figment of our imagination...sometimes i just want to transcend my deepest fear into the deepest love, i guess in my next lifetime (: