tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
stay or back away? (scorp F 29, leo M 28) (Page 2)
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*your situation*
Tiki= remember that a person's judgements on others tend to be a reflection of one's self = projection.
FireDragonScorpio= I would suggest a sincere talk if he comes back from resettling. I still believe that Leo and Scorpio have the potential to have a very beautiful deep engaging full entrancing passionate relationship. The main hurdles come from petty overlooked misunderstandings and the key which has been emphasized is communication. I hope everything turns out well.
FireDragonScorpio= I would suggest a sincere talk if he comes back from resettling. I still believe that Leo and Scorpio have the potential to have a very beautiful deep engaging full entrancing passionate relationship. The main hurdles come from petty overlooked misunderstandings and the key which has been emphasized is communication. I hope everything turns out well.
Take the plank out of your own eye sweets, if your not judging and projecting then neither am I. You see what you want to see, if you see projection and judgement from me then you have to see it in yourself first to see it in me.
Posted by sweat.lioness
Scorpios can be very cautious and this may seem like the scorpio could be moving too slow for the leo. Leos lack patience. They don't like waiting around for people for too long. They have durability and loyalty so they'll wait around for a while but after that while is over (or they meet someone else) it's gone. You'll be left wondering what happened.
Unlike scorpios, Leos are not emotionally receptive. They need more than attention, they need words. Leos are oblivious to acts of love because they shower acts of love on everyone they meet. So they don't feel special that you cooked for him or that you spend your time with him, or that you made an initiative. For them it's different. It's different because you could do that for anyone. They need those words, "I like you" , "I'm interested in you" just as they need flattery, "you are amazing". If they don't get this. If you don't communicate then they will feel rejected, then disinterested, and then they will disappear.
I'm writing this (and I apologize it's long lol) because Scorpios seem to not understand this way of thinking. They think "hey I cooked a grand meal for you, of course I love you. Look at the lengths I would go to in order to please you." While Leo thinks "It's normal etiquette to cook and please your guests. Cooking for me is nice, and you're a great person. This makes me feel good. But these actions mean nothing in comparison to words. You haven't stated your interest in me. So there is no way I can reasonably and logically assume that you are remotely interested in my whatsoever."
Just talk to him. It seems scary for both signs because both signs are secretive. Scorpio is secretive with their inner feelings and may never honestly fully tell someone in depth how feel about them with the fear that they will scare the person away but truthfully Leo is just as secretive with their inner feelings because their pride makes them afraid of rejection. So they rather not divulge any information unless the person inquires.
Thanks SL...I think we're already on that part where he lost interest. I knew he was interested before or he wouldn't be spending that amount of time when he could easily invite the rest of the girls already smitten with him. My only regret is that i never asked. it's just too much for me after being burned once and im not about to step into that possibility
of being rejected just because what im seeing could be an illusion because i wanted it. I already stepped away and i'll take this time to think things over. we've got both our Venus in Virgo and we show our love through simple things and it could be a bit slow for us to say what we feel. we're friends anyway so if he really cares for me, i'll know eventually. we could just easily pick up where we left off but if that happens, i won't allow things to go back the way it's used to. i don't wanna settle just because i was too afraid to take the risk. i want to be sure of myself that this is what i want. i want him to step forward too, like i said we flirt heavily and im just surprised that when left alone, we both seem to be guarded when it comes to our feelings. this way, he'll also get the chance to think things over. his ex is still there and it complicate things a bit for us since he doesn't want to offend the girl as well... and i believe him when he said he's not ready to be committed to anybody. possibly, my timing's just not right. i don't know. but i definitely need time to think 'bout the things you said. thanks for replying. i appreciate all the help i could get...
Posted by hiplove79
You know what OP? I think you need to ask him straight up what the deal is between you two. What is it and where is it going. In your situation, that's what I would do. Cut out the bullshit and get straight to the point. From there, whatever he tells you, make your decision of that.
Don't worry about freaking him out. Leos are direct and respect others who will also direct. When you ask him, don't flirt, but be serious. Just saying something like, "You know how we flirt and spend so much time together? Sometimes I can't help but wonder if you're serious about some of the things said." Something along those lines. Then watch his face and how he responds. If he does only see you as a friend, he will cease with the overly flirtatious jokes and comments. He'll start treating you more like a friend, instead of girlfriend. Out of respect and care for you.
Leos have the tendency to cross all kinds boundaries, if someone allows us to. Slap him upside the head by pointing at the gigantic pink elephant in the room. He either needs to commit or back off with all the flirty and emotional stuff.
hahaha, i wish it was that easy hiplove79...if i had the courage to ask, i would have asked by now, even before posting here. but thanks for the vote of confidence. i'll know soon enough if he truly cares for me. you're right about leos crossing all kinds of boundaries. i just wish i had known all these things before or i would have known what to do. this is the first time i've dealt with a leo and it left me floundering in the dark, lol. which is not easy for a scorpio. that's the biggest question of all, why nothing ever happened between us all those times i was staying the night over. he's probably as confused as me, poor guy. well, it wouldn't do us both good if we're not sure of what we want. or if we're both afraid to take stock of what was happening...if things doesn't work betweeen us, this will serve as a lesson for me the next time i get close to someone. thanks hiplove...kisses to u...
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
oh well, it was a whirlwind or more like a hurricaine in fact. he was doing some work in my offices. i met him briefly a few months before but it was on a day that i had a huge fight with my boss and walked out and so i couldn't remember meeting him. i had no idea but he had been trying to track me down when he was called by my boss to do some more work. he had some stuff to do in my office and we started chatting...it turned out that he and his girlfriend at the time lived in the apartment above mine back in london (we both live in spain now). similar background...both jewish...grew up in the same area...had mutual friends. it was an instant 'click' situation.
we became inseparable but only for one week. then he had his ex coming out for his birthday and he had told me that it wouldn't be fair to her or me for him to see her but i guess he had no choice and she probably made him feel bad that he'd moved on so quick although it's definitely over between them. he still has feelings for all his ex's and he explained it all to me and i thought it was actually really sweet that he still cared...it shows a generous spirit.
lol, firedragon, i hear you...exactly what i felt...(whirlwind and inseperable) and i truly feel they were true when they were at that MOMENT. only problem is we scorpios tend to stay in that moment longer only to find we were alone. i know if things were different, if both our leos were free (totally) from their past relationships, we could have tried to take a shot to possibly making things work. but leos really can't let go of exes easily so there lies our predicament. the way he showed his emotions, bout his past relationships, easily drew me closer to him. im just sorry that it was so easy for him to get into a relationship with the aries girl when it took us forever and accomplished nothing when it comes to defining what we have.
Posted by tiki33
WOW@the ex's, hilarious! But I have to admit my ex leo had all his ex girlfriends around as well, he would step on toes and rotate them out, he was still INVOLVED emotionally and most likely intimately as well (I can semi prove that he was) I didn't really understand his behavior at the time but as the years have passed I realize he was lost, part of him needed all that attention because he was deeply insecure and he loved loved loved to self sabotage relationships b/c he was addicted to drama and addicted to women/people. Overall good experience with him was not bad, was interesting, but he had a bad attitude when he needed a fix from multiple women to elevate his self esteem and if I challenged him (bad temper) as well, he was a womanizer but not the worst kind of womanizer, he used women to feel better about himself.
lol, tiki...u could say that again (hilarious). ex-aries and i are now friends (through FB) she told me she simply want to get closer to the people close to his ex-leo. and there were other girls on the picture too, it's just that im the one who's visible enough that other people recognizes that we're really close. it never bothered me that he's got this string of girls ready to pounce on him if he simply give them a signal. find it hilarious too. and im starting to understand he needs the attention. stop being hard on hiplove will you? u two are a great help with your opinions and it helps to see both sides of the coin ( two different angles u know ) hiplove, dont get offended with tiki, she sometimes comes too hard on her opinion but sometimes that's the only way to get the message across (especially for stubborn people like me) ur sweet and i believe leos really are loyal, both men and women. circumstances differ and that's where some leo men will be different from their female counterpart. it could also be isolated on my leo only, we'll know soon enough. i'll keep u posted on what's gonna happen with my leo. we could all learn from it, leos and non-leos alike...
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
i didn't have to remove him as a friend on facebook. i did it cos i didn't want to be a spectator. i think it's the first thing you should do if you split with someone. my leo friend's gf cheated on him (twice) recently and i know he was heartbroken. i asked if he had blocked her on facebook and he said he did but unfortunately, you have to go to that person's page to do it and whilst there, he saw pictures of her recent birthday party with her new man (even though he had invited her for a meal to celebrate which she agreed to and then declined at the last minute). he said it nearly tipped him over the edge all over again.
listening to his circumstances has helped get my own difficult glitch into perspective. his best advice was to always remain blas? in the early days of dating....mind you, having said that, he's not uber successful himself despite being super hot!! bless.
damn firedragon, where were you when i was lurking these boards? lol i wanted so much to talk to someone who's gone through the same thing as i am. (or something close to what i had, probably missed ur post if u wrote about your leo guy) ima read the rest of your story later, (when i get back from work) didn't realize lots of people will be posting here ^_^
tiki and hiplove, please don't throw each other off these boards. we need you both here...there's plenty space for everybody. kisses to all...
=P
You all are very insightful, I haven't had a chance to really read anything yet, super busy but for the record I'm not going anywhere anytime soon and I don't have an issue with anyone, it's the internet LOL! It's only as real as we make it, I'm here to give suggestions, offer help, make observations and yes I go hard sometimes but I love scorps thanks to a certain scorp I used to brawl it out with many moons ago but somehow managed to be really cool after all that e-fighting LOL and for the most part it's completely fine if my advice/suggestions are accepted or rejected, not a big deal, it appears you and firedragon got alternative observations and seem really grounded and less confused, that's all that really matters to me, that you walk away a little more emotionally grounded/better off than when you came seeking help.
Oh your back...YAWN
keep it moving you've proven all on your own that you're deeply insecure and you did that all on your own, fighting yourself is not a good look.
Your insight is no more important or less important than any of the people who post here, WE ALL can post here and we all have something valid to say including you...
LMFAO! Insecure little lion, you are so threatened by my presence so much so you have to e-fight with me about who gives better advice LMAO!
Everyone's advice is relevant and just like my advice can be rejected so can yours, you are not running the show over here although I'm sure you wish you were you are not the Queen Bitch of the Leo boards, I don't know who made you feel you are but REALITY CHECK, you are absolutely not the only voice of reason, calm your ass down, it's not that serious.
You attacking me and becoming completely emotionally attached to my words just makes YOU LOOK REALLY BAD AND MAKES YOUR ADVICE APPEAR LESS RELEVANT by trying to devalue what I've said, what you are trying to do absolutely BACKFIRED!! Try again, your emotional investment in my words screams ClINGY, clinging onto my every word, WOW SO DESPERATE AND INSECURE, thanks for helping me make you look less relevant and you can blame yourself for that LOL!
Oh how silly do you look right now. Thanks for all the e-laughs and e-tummy giggles. Hilarious!
Fatally bored but still giggling at your stupidity
keep it moving you've proven all on your own that you're deeply insecure and you did that all on your own, fighting yourself is not a good look.
Your insight is no more important or less important than any of the people who post here, WE ALL can post here and we all have something valid to say including you...
LMFAO! Insecure little lion, you are so threatened by my presence so much so you have to e-fight with me about who gives better advice LMAO!
Everyone's advice is relevant and just like my advice can be rejected so can yours, you are not running the show over here although I'm sure you wish you were you are not the Queen Bitch of the Leo boards, I don't know who made you feel you are but REALITY CHECK, you are absolutely not the only voice of reason, calm your ass down, it's not that serious.
You attacking me and becoming completely emotionally attached to my words just makes YOU LOOK REALLY BAD AND MAKES YOUR ADVICE APPEAR LESS RELEVANT by trying to devalue what I've said, what you are trying to do absolutely BACKFIRED!! Try again, your emotional investment in my words screams ClINGY, clinging onto my every word, WOW SO DESPERATE AND INSECURE, thanks for helping me make you look less relevant and you can blame yourself for that LOL!
Oh how silly do you look right now. Thanks for all the e-laughs and e-tummy giggles. Hilarious!
Fatally bored but still giggling at your stupidity
"and after i mauled this person verbally, i realised that it was actually directed more at the leo and was a build up of frustration and it was such a relief to let it go. unfortunately, the guy i was screaming at is now ready for round two and i've lost the anger, lol. i'll have to go to the office with an olive branch for sure."
LMAO@i've lost the anger
Sometimes you just gotta let it all out, just blow up and then make nice later
"i came out of that marriage with a no compromise attitude to relationships and although the leo derailed me temporarily, i'm back on track now."
Don't shut down your heart, you took a chance, there is nothing wrong with taking a chance on someone, their will be other men and other moments and it's okay to be flexible and compromise, nothing is really black and white when it comes to love and dating.
"i doubt i will see him again cos we mix in totally different circles but i can honestly say that i can take him or leave him now."
And that's a positive approach, you can always pick up again and willing to give it another try if the opportunity presents itself.
"i think at some point you have to make yourself let go and walk away for your own sake. i want someone to take care of me and not the other way around."
Letting go doesn't mean it's over, as long as you don't shut the door closed he can always come through another time, if your still available of course but until then life goes on with or without him.
LMAO@i've lost the anger
Sometimes you just gotta let it all out, just blow up and then make nice later
"i came out of that marriage with a no compromise attitude to relationships and although the leo derailed me temporarily, i'm back on track now."
Don't shut down your heart, you took a chance, there is nothing wrong with taking a chance on someone, their will be other men and other moments and it's okay to be flexible and compromise, nothing is really black and white when it comes to love and dating.
"i doubt i will see him again cos we mix in totally different circles but i can honestly say that i can take him or leave him now."
And that's a positive approach, you can always pick up again and willing to give it another try if the opportunity presents itself.
"i think at some point you have to make yourself let go and walk away for your own sake. i want someone to take care of me and not the other way around."
Letting go doesn't mean it's over, as long as you don't shut the door closed he can always come through another time, if your still available of course but until then life goes on with or without him.
"I think we're already on that part where he lost interest. I knew he was interested before or he wouldn't be spending that amount of time when he could easily invite the rest of the girls already smitten with him. My only regret is that i never asked. it's just too much for me after being burned once and im not about to step into that possibility of being rejected just because what im seeing could be an illusion because i wanted it"
Can you clarify the "already lost interest" comment? Are you saying the text messaging, calling, asking you over etc is fading out well damn I predicted it would slack off but not this fast, I thought he would keep it up for a little while longer.
"and i believe him when he said he's not ready to be committed to anybody. possibly, my timing's just not right. i don't know. but i definitely need time to think 'bout the things you said. thanks for replying. i appreciate all the help i could get..."
Timing is everything. I do believe there is a pattern of using ex's to stay DETACHED to any one person, "ex factors" are just "excuses" some men use to stay single, they form all these triangular relationships just to stay uncommitted to anyone but themselves and still reap the benefits of getting sex or some form of an FWB relationship, excuse making is just a nice way of saying your not it, a man that feels a deep connection with a woman will not blow it by including all these obstacles in your path, he'd be deathly afraid of losing someone he wants to keep.
Phoenix is he demonstrating he wants to keep you in his life? Or does he have a take it or leave attitude?
Can you clarify the "already lost interest" comment? Are you saying the text messaging, calling, asking you over etc is fading out well damn I predicted it would slack off but not this fast, I thought he would keep it up for a little while longer.
"and i believe him when he said he's not ready to be committed to anybody. possibly, my timing's just not right. i don't know. but i definitely need time to think 'bout the things you said. thanks for replying. i appreciate all the help i could get..."
Timing is everything. I do believe there is a pattern of using ex's to stay DETACHED to any one person, "ex factors" are just "excuses" some men use to stay single, they form all these triangular relationships just to stay uncommitted to anyone but themselves and still reap the benefits of getting sex or some form of an FWB relationship, excuse making is just a nice way of saying your not it, a man that feels a deep connection with a woman will not blow it by including all these obstacles in your path, he'd be deathly afraid of losing someone he wants to keep.
Phoenix is he demonstrating he wants to keep you in his life? Or does he have a take it or leave attitude?
To the op: You sleep over every night and there is no action? And you buy that a measly 1 month relationship is an ex that he has to tiptoe around? Naw, he just doesn't want to give 100% to you or anyone because neither of you are the kind of women he has as his ideal.
Leo girls, refrain from commenting on Leo males because all you do is spit out your 'ideal' "Love, love, we're all about love and we'll never do you wrong" Just shut the fuck up because I've known plenty of broken men from dating Leo women who ate them up and spit them out. I swear, no one ever speaks the (sometimes) ugly truth. Tiki tried and gets bashed.
For the Op and Firedragon, did your Leo's take you out? Do they court you? No, they don't have to because they know you're ready and willing anytime they want it and that's why nothing is getting serious. It's boring if you make yourself so available. This goes for all women of all signs for all men of all signs. I have to say women act so desperate now that it's not even fun. Where's the chase? Where's the mystery? My wife knew how to deal with me. She was a prize I could only dream of having once I proved myself to her. I've had many women, too many that ruined me. We as men know that in the back of your minds. It fucks us up to have women throw themselves so easily at us. We seriously don't know what to do and Leo men try to be nice about it. We don't want you to feel bad, so we invite you over and do nice things that confuse you but is convenient for us but ehhh...the fire dissipates. Hence the hot and cold phenomenon.
I tell my sister all the time to hold herself in high esteem with any man she likes. Hold back, flirt but watch for the signs to see if he truly wants her. Women now seem to take whatever crumbs they can get and that's so sad. Why? Because it stops men from really appreciating you so we end up in an endless stream of meaningless relationships. I'm married now and I see my guy friends struggling to find women who know their own worth so they can in turn honor her. These are some of the biggest 'players'. Secretly, they want a woman they can honor, respect and trust but he'll judge you and be totally hypocritical about it. He'll sleep with you but think less of you. What we need as men is a woman acts on her morals, expectations and won't settle for less in her partner.
Leo girls, refrain from commenting on Leo males because all you do is spit out your 'ideal' "Love, love, we're all about love and we'll never do you wrong" Just shut the fuck up because I've known plenty of broken men from dating Leo women who ate them up and spit them out. I swear, no one ever speaks the (sometimes) ugly truth. Tiki tried and gets bashed.
For the Op and Firedragon, did your Leo's take you out? Do they court you? No, they don't have to because they know you're ready and willing anytime they want it and that's why nothing is getting serious. It's boring if you make yourself so available. This goes for all women of all signs for all men of all signs. I have to say women act so desperate now that it's not even fun. Where's the chase? Where's the mystery? My wife knew how to deal with me. She was a prize I could only dream of having once I proved myself to her. I've had many women, too many that ruined me. We as men know that in the back of your minds. It fucks us up to have women throw themselves so easily at us. We seriously don't know what to do and Leo men try to be nice about it. We don't want you to feel bad, so we invite you over and do nice things that confuse you but is convenient for us but ehhh...the fire dissipates. Hence the hot and cold phenomenon.
I tell my sister all the time to hold herself in high esteem with any man she likes. Hold back, flirt but watch for the signs to see if he truly wants her. Women now seem to take whatever crumbs they can get and that's so sad. Why? Because it stops men from really appreciating you so we end up in an endless stream of meaningless relationships. I'm married now and I see my guy friends struggling to find women who know their own worth so they can in turn honor her. These are some of the biggest 'players'. Secretly, they want a woman they can honor, respect and trust but he'll judge you and be totally hypocritical about it. He'll sleep with you but think less of you. What we need as men is a woman acts on her morals, expectations and won't settle for less in her partner.
Posted by Jonleo
To the op:
Leo girls, refrain from commenting on Leo males because all you do is spit out your 'ideal' "Love, love, we're all about love and we'll never do you wrong" Just shut the fuck up because I've known plenty of broken men from dating Leo women who ate them up and spit them out. I swear, no one ever speaks the (sometimes) ugly truth. Tiki tried and gets bashed.
For the Op and Firedragon, did your Leo's take you out? Do they court you? No, they don't have to because they know you're ready and willing anytime they want it and that's why nothing is getting serious. It's boring if you make yourself so available. This goes for all women of all signs for all men of all signs. I have to say women act so desperate now that it's not even fun. Where's the chase? Where's the mystery? My wife knew how to deal with me. She was a prize I could only dream of having once I proved myself to her. I've had many women, too many that ruined me. We as men know that in the back of your minds. It fucks us up to have women throw themselves so easily at us. We seriously don't know what to do and Leo men try to be nice about it. We don't want you to feel bad, so we invite you over and do nice things that confuse you but is convenient for us but ehhh...the fire dissipates. Hence the hot and cold phenomenon.
I tell my sister all the time to hold herself in high esteem with any man she likes. Hold back, flirt but watch for the signs to see if he truly wants her. Women now seem to take whatever crumbs they can get and that's so sad. Why? Because it stops men from really appreciating you so we end up in an endless stream of meaningless relationships. I'm married now and I see my guy friends struggling to find women who know their own worth so they can in turn honor her. These are some of the biggest 'players'. Secretly, they want a woman they can honor, respect and trust but he'll judge you and be totally hypocritical about it. He'll sleep with you but think less of you. What we need as men is a woman acts on her morals, expectations and won't settle for less in her partner.
100% REAL +1
This man speaks the truth...Listen to him!
Posted by hiplove79
ROFL! Well there you go, Tiki. In this case, here on this thread, I will say you were RIGHT. I rarely come to the Leo area, because honestly I can only handle Leos in small doses. That goes for IRL as well. But I suppose I can see you do have a point. Mr. Leo above reminded me on why I DO NOT date Leo men; and really, I don't like them that much. Though there are some who make great friends. However, even with the ones I didn't get along with, there was still "loyalty". With Leo male/female, there similarities and *sigh* there are differences. Even though this was never a contest, I still feel the need to say...you win. 😉
Okay, I'm going back over to the Scorp board to hang. I like it much better over there. Such a suave, sophisticated and sexy group they are. I think I've gotten enough Leo fix to last me for a bit. Have fun, ladies. 😄
LOL
I didn't win (least I don't think so), it wasn't a contest, all of what we (you and others) say holds relevance, I don't hang much over here either, rarely do I come over to the leo board and post.
"the leo pursued me for over 6 months actually and told me he never thought he had a chance and when we did get together, allbeit briefly, he still had those insecurities. one thing i am not and never have been is desparate. he also knew that i had been single for nearly 4 years during which time i had dated but not had sex with anyone. does that imply a desparate woman? i think not."
To clarify I don't see you (firedragon nor phoenix) as desperate women. These men pursued you both and gave you both the impression that there could be a possible future. I think Jon is saying hold out for a REAL COMMITMENT before giving into the physical aspect of the relationship, their has to be a certain air of mystery about a woman for a man to want to KEEP coming around, if she allow herself to fall in love before she gets a commitment and he is reassured then he'll bore and move on. I can't say for sure if this is what he meant.
"i resent the implication that i throw myself at anyone thank you very much. it's the fact that i value myself so highly that attracted him in the first place. the timing was off, simple as that."
I didn't see him saying you throw yourself at men but he's saying what did he do during the courting process, did he take you out on great dates, invest in you by spending money on these dates, did he plan weekend trips with you, did he help you out around your home, I do recall you said he helped you with a car issue, did he court and woo you, do nice things for you, pay for lovely meals, did he keep his ex's out of the way to prove he is really serious about you, when a leo male is deeply smitten'd or shall I dare say in love his love is demonstrated to the highest level, he won't do anything to fuck it up, he'll go so far as letting ex's go, he'll change and yes I've seen a leo male change from womanizer to good man in a matter of days, he was caught up in love, living with his lady and then marriage, it does happen....What he is getting at is did he actually DATE YOU and DEMONSTRATE to you that you were the one through altering his life style , he's not talking bout doing a few things every now and again, once sex was consummated did he continue doing all those great things with you, taking you out, family get together's, planning a future with you, was he demonstrating he was still in the relationship with you, courting, wooing, chasing, loving on you or did you get the "it's been fun" or "let's be friends" speech.
To clarify I don't see you (firedragon nor phoenix) as desperate women. These men pursued you both and gave you both the impression that there could be a possible future. I think Jon is saying hold out for a REAL COMMITMENT before giving into the physical aspect of the relationship, their has to be a certain air of mystery about a woman for a man to want to KEEP coming around, if she allow herself to fall in love before she gets a commitment and he is reassured then he'll bore and move on. I can't say for sure if this is what he meant.
"i resent the implication that i throw myself at anyone thank you very much. it's the fact that i value myself so highly that attracted him in the first place. the timing was off, simple as that."
I didn't see him saying you throw yourself at men but he's saying what did he do during the courting process, did he take you out on great dates, invest in you by spending money on these dates, did he plan weekend trips with you, did he help you out around your home, I do recall you said he helped you with a car issue, did he court and woo you, do nice things for you, pay for lovely meals, did he keep his ex's out of the way to prove he is really serious about you, when a leo male is deeply smitten'd or shall I dare say in love his love is demonstrated to the highest level, he won't do anything to fuck it up, he'll go so far as letting ex's go, he'll change and yes I've seen a leo male change from womanizer to good man in a matter of days, he was caught up in love, living with his lady and then marriage, it does happen....What he is getting at is did he actually DATE YOU and DEMONSTRATE to you that you were the one through altering his life style , he's not talking bout doing a few things every now and again, once sex was consummated did he continue doing all those great things with you, taking you out, family get together's, planning a future with you, was he demonstrating he was still in the relationship with you, courting, wooing, chasing, loving on you or did you get the "it's been fun" or "let's be friends" speech.
"Where's the chase? Where's the mystery?"
She was a prize I could only dream of having once I proved myself to her.
Men do the hot and cold dance when they lose interest, they lose interest fast, after the chase and he's WON his prize and the woman isn't challenging him anymore he'll grow bored, go back to the old drama's from his past to glean a challenge and revel in the excitement of all the women on facebook fighting over him, he'll revert back to this old relationship habits because he can't get from you what he gets from his ex's, excitement, drama, fun, now being with you it's just LOVE boring love and he's over it and will lean back on his old ex's to get his needs met or chase new women because it's exciting and fun and filled with an air of mystery, it's the UNKNOWN and that keeps him feeling alive inside, Jon is right, when men bore because the sex is too easy, the relationship is too easy, and it's expected of him to be there "all the time" doing the same ol' boring relationship stuff he'll lose interest and move on to someone or something more challenging.
"Women now seem to take whatever crumbs they can get and that's so sad. Why? Because it stops men from really appreciating you so we end up in an endless stream of meaningless relationships. "
I see this as well, I see women sleeping with men and not asking for what she wants which is a real relationship, I see women giving sex first and hoping for a relationship later (this never works) I see women playing out some really toxic relationship behaviors and getting dumped and all it takes is a shift in BEHAVIOR for a man to come to her side and want to be the man she deserves to have but when a man see he can have his cake and eat it too well he'll do just that.
I've learned a lot through men and he's not lying, he's giving you some very valuable insight on the male mind.
I can't speak for Jon but I think I know were he's coming from on this, of course he can correct my statements if he feels the need to clarify himself.
Keep in mind these are general broad statements, not all leo men are like the men you are currently involved with, there are some really conscious minded leo men in the world, like any astrological sign these kind of leo men are in hot demand, unfortunately there are the leo men that womanize, pathologically lie, abuse drugs and alcohol, overall not good mates for anyone, you can find these types in astrological make-up.
She was a prize I could only dream of having once I proved myself to her.
Men do the hot and cold dance when they lose interest, they lose interest fast, after the chase and he's WON his prize and the woman isn't challenging him anymore he'll grow bored, go back to the old drama's from his past to glean a challenge and revel in the excitement of all the women on facebook fighting over him, he'll revert back to this old relationship habits because he can't get from you what he gets from his ex's, excitement, drama, fun, now being with you it's just LOVE boring love and he's over it and will lean back on his old ex's to get his needs met or chase new women because it's exciting and fun and filled with an air of mystery, it's the UNKNOWN and that keeps him feeling alive inside, Jon is right, when men bore because the sex is too easy, the relationship is too easy, and it's expected of him to be there "all the time" doing the same ol' boring relationship stuff he'll lose interest and move on to someone or something more challenging.
"Women now seem to take whatever crumbs they can get and that's so sad. Why? Because it stops men from really appreciating you so we end up in an endless stream of meaningless relationships. "
I see this as well, I see women sleeping with men and not asking for what she wants which is a real relationship, I see women giving sex first and hoping for a relationship later (this never works) I see women playing out some really toxic relationship behaviors and getting dumped and all it takes is a shift in BEHAVIOR for a man to come to her side and want to be the man she deserves to have but when a man see he can have his cake and eat it too well he'll do just that.
I've learned a lot through men and he's not lying, he's giving you some very valuable insight on the male mind.
I can't speak for Jon but I think I know were he's coming from on this, of course he can correct my statements if he feels the need to clarify himself.
Keep in mind these are general broad statements, not all leo men are like the men you are currently involved with, there are some really conscious minded leo men in the world, like any astrological sign these kind of leo men are in hot demand, unfortunately there are the leo men that womanize, pathologically lie, abuse drugs and alcohol, overall not good mates for anyone, you can find these types in astrological make-up.
In your case firedragon, I do feel timing was a huge issue for you and the fact that he has health problems and formed some horrible drinking habits.
I wonder why you took him on knowing that you had all this against you, most women would leave a toxic man with toxic relationship habits and toxic personal habits like this alone. What did he do that made you feel you could over look these red flags?
I ask in sincerity, I think it'll help you figure YOU out and figure out your own relationship habits at this point in your life.
I wonder why you took him on knowing that you had all this against you, most women would leave a toxic man with toxic relationship habits and toxic personal habits like this alone. What did he do that made you feel you could over look these red flags?
I ask in sincerity, I think it'll help you figure YOU out and figure out your own relationship habits at this point in your life.
Posted by hiplove79
Hi phoenix! Welcome back.
Out of respect for you and your thread, I'll stop roaring at Tiki. 😄
thanks hiplove79, thought ur gonna abandon me there for a second (big smile)
Posted by tiki33
Can you clarify the "already lost interest" comment? Are you saying the text messaging, calling, asking you over etc is fading out well damn I predicted it would slack off but not this fast, I thought he would keep it up for a little while longer.
Posted by hiplove79
So many things...
So first about the boundaries. Yes we do pushed boundaries to test people. Leos are very strong individuals. Warriors. Anyone we allow in the inner circle must be strong as well. In order to test your strength, we'll sometimes do some fucked up shit. Honestly, speaking? Leos can be mean. But here's the thing. If a person stands up to us and shows that rude/inconsiderate behavior is not allowed, will we respect that person and view them as an equal. Someone who is strong and allowed into the den...so to speak. People that are doormats are not respected and are seen as lesser-thans and will be treated accordingly. When dealing with a Leo, don't be afraid to get rough with us. In fact, you will have to get rough from time-to-time. Leos are rough and can handle it and we respect it. In fact, we like it. 😄
I know that Scorpios are anything but weak. I have the utmost respect for you guys. So next time, sting his ass or any future Leo man who tries to cross boundaries.
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Well, he stopped replying to my text 3 days ago and i took it as a hint that maybe it's for the best that we stop being friends. Can't help getting goosebumps at what im seeing since the exact same thing i happen to read on these boards is finally happening to me as well. I felt like I was going through hoops with this Leo and i felt this might be one of those test you guys love to throw at people close to you or I was just waiting for the worst to happen so I interpreted it as a sign he was mildly interested before but not anymore. Didn't show him it mattered to me much though, i just stopped communicating as well. didn't call, stopped texting, didn't send him any offline message and didn't look for him around the office. He became invisible
to me. I can sense him looking at me though, probably gauging my reaction and i just pretended i didn't see him. No one would have guessed I was missing him terribly during those times I put off going back to his place. LOL, he soon started coming to my desk again while we're in the office and started texting again. I sent him a text telling him I don't like it when he doesn't reply to my texts because it's plain rude, i dont send nonsense messages unlike the other girls fawning at him and him not replying could only mean something's bothering him, he's mad at me about something, or he's just plainly being a jerk. I know his routine already and he can't make any excuses stick since I know what time he's probably asleep or away or out of the house. He apologized and made some excuses bout his phone not sending the messages through. I guess he was trying to pull his disappearing act trick on me (the way he did with his ex) and I showed him it's not gonna work on me. Im not gonna push when he's trying to pull, im not gonna go after him. i'm only pushing or going after someone on my own phase, not when im afraid that person is moving away from me.
Posted by hiplove79
I know Scorps have a hard time with vocalizing what they feel. Perhaps flirting with another guy or going a bit overboard when talking about another guy will do the trick. If he gets jealous and tries to put the guy down, that could be a way to find out what's going on in his head. I'll warn you though, if you mess with a Leo, we will pull those words and feelings out of you. Like Lioness said...we need words. 😄
LOL, i have done that already, when i was reaching out to friends those weekends I was trying to avoid spending it with him, im actually just hanging out with one of my close male (platonic) friend and he had our pictures taken & posted on both our fb walls. I can sense that he sees i'm not tied to him and even if he tries to manipulate my time, he knows he can't really have all of it since we're not in a relationship. I don't have problems going after men I like but this is one situation where im gonna let myself take slow easy steps.
Posted by hiplove79
And what do you mean that he's showing disinterest now? NO!!! I was somewhat rooting for you two. Again, Lioness is correct. The Leo/Scorpio relationship can be a very, very, very good one. Very. I'm so spoiled by the way of the Scorp male, I refuse to date any other sign, lol. In fact, I just recently entered into a romantic alliance with very sexy and sweet Scorpio male. *heart flutters* But enough about that, can you give more details about his pulling away? He could be feeling insecure. Leos have very good instincts and he may be feeling your uncertainty and is reacting to it.
Posted by tiki33
Timing is everything. I do believe there is a pattern of using ex's to stay DETACHED to any one person, "ex factors" are just "excuses" some men use to stay single, they form all these triangular relationships just to stay uncommitted to anyone but themselves and still reap the benefits of getting sex or some form of an FWB relationship, excuse making is just a nice way of saying your not it, a man that feels a deep connection with a woman will not blow it by including all these obstacles in your path, he'd be deathly afraid of losing someone he wants to keep.
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Him telling me that the reason he split up with ex-aries girl was because he's not ready for a commitment threw me off. It only means even if he likes me or another girl, he can't go after me or anybody else since he's not ready and when he is, only fair that he get together with ex aries, since it wasn't any of the girl's fault and she's still hanging around waiting for it to happen. You're probably right, hiplove. He's sensing my uncertainty and only reacting to it but what else can I do? I tried to walk away but we've grown so close to each other after spending so much time together. He tried to pull the disappearing act for a day or two and when he realized it's not working, we went back to being good old friends. I tried setting boundaries and he seems to be taking it all in stride. Probably accepted the fact we were going nowhere even if we try. We both feel reluctant to let each other go though. So we're still hanging out together but I am trying to get rid of the emotions, letting myself see and date other people. We're good but seems our romance will have to wait till we've both got the timing right.
to think of us as possible lovers anymore and to not put meaning on his every actions.
Posted by hiplove79
You are now friends with the ex? Oh boy. Very, very sticky. So what if you and Leo do confess attraction to one another? Will you be able to take things further, due to your new friendship with his ex gf?
well, i feel pity for her. how would you feel if a guy pursues you, gets you into a relationship, gets confused with his emotions then breaks up with you only to get close to someone he met after you? she sent me a message that she just wants to know the people close to leo's heart. it's really heart-breaking and the confusion i felt for our leo guy doesn't compare to what she's been through and still going through at the moment. If in time we both get the courage to face what we feel and act on it(me and leo guy), i guess she'll just have to learn to adjust to the situation the same way im doing now.
Posted by tiki33
Phoenix is he demonstrating he wants to keep you in his life? Or does he have a take it or leave attitude?click to expand
seems to me he wants me in his life, just not sure where to put me. hehehehe...
Phoenix he's done with the Aries girl, he's not going back to her, as long as you don't push him for a commitment and most importantly stand by your boundaries and values and don't chunk them down on the ground in hopes of getting a real relationship then you'll most likely be okay.
He isn't READY for a real COMMITMENT so in all honesty nothing you or the aries girl or any girl for that matter can do to change his mind, he's made up his mind about commitment so anyone who dates him will either have to adjust herself to this or leave him alone or date him on the side while she pursue dating other men.
He's losing interest because it's beginning to feel like a REAL committed relationship, the best thing you can do is what your doing right now, don't show too many emotional displays of anger and hurt but don't take poor treatment off of him either.
Just because he doesn't want to commit doesn't mean he never will, the hard truth reality is, he'll commit to the right girl, he won't think twice about throwing away his single life b/c that girl INSPIRES him to do it, she makes him feel like his life is so much better with her in it and it's nothing she's saying verbally to make him feel this way, it's her energy, how she treats herself when she's around him, how she adjust in his world and how she positions herself around him and around others. I'll hush now but my main point is there's so many other factors that make a man whose staunch on being single let his single life go, he has to FEEL without a doubt that this one girl is the one, any doubts and he'll stall until he finds her.
It's time to stop allowing a man that doesn't want exclusivity with you to have FULL access to your time, energy, mind and body, you are the only one that will be hurt in the end when he throw that "I don't want a commitment" line back in your face. Don't ever give a man all of you in hopes he'll give you a real committed relationship, no trade offs, sit down figure out what you want, figure out how you can relate what you want FOR YOURSELF over to him, you can tell a man what you want, what you envision for yourself and ask him the same thing as long as you don't make it appear you are pressuring him or expecting what you want to be fulfilled by him.
Someone on the Cap board put up a great clip from this relationship expert named Matt...I'll post it up, he talks about how to position yourself when talking about the future together.
He isn't READY for a real COMMITMENT so in all honesty nothing you or the aries girl or any girl for that matter can do to change his mind, he's made up his mind about commitment so anyone who dates him will either have to adjust herself to this or leave him alone or date him on the side while she pursue dating other men.
He's losing interest because it's beginning to feel like a REAL committed relationship, the best thing you can do is what your doing right now, don't show too many emotional displays of anger and hurt but don't take poor treatment off of him either.
Just because he doesn't want to commit doesn't mean he never will, the hard truth reality is, he'll commit to the right girl, he won't think twice about throwing away his single life b/c that girl INSPIRES him to do it, she makes him feel like his life is so much better with her in it and it's nothing she's saying verbally to make him feel this way, it's her energy, how she treats herself when she's around him, how she adjust in his world and how she positions herself around him and around others. I'll hush now but my main point is there's so many other factors that make a man whose staunch on being single let his single life go, he has to FEEL without a doubt that this one girl is the one, any doubts and he'll stall until he finds her.
It's time to stop allowing a man that doesn't want exclusivity with you to have FULL access to your time, energy, mind and body, you are the only one that will be hurt in the end when he throw that "I don't want a commitment" line back in your face. Don't ever give a man all of you in hopes he'll give you a real committed relationship, no trade offs, sit down figure out what you want, figure out how you can relate what you want FOR YOURSELF over to him, you can tell a man what you want, what you envision for yourself and ask him the same thing as long as you don't make it appear you are pressuring him or expecting what you want to be fulfilled by him.
Someone on the Cap board put up a great clip from this relationship expert named Matt...I'll post it up, he talks about how to position yourself when talking about the future together.
BGP posted this link on the cap board and I thought it was interesting
This link may help you get an understanding phoenix on how to approach getting from casual to committed, what that feels and looks like for both you and for him. I am not saying it's full proof but it gives you an idea how you can FRAME the whole entire interaction by leading from a positive non needy perspective which can open up a dialogue about what you both are doing.
This link may help you get an understanding phoenix on how to approach getting from casual to committed, what that feels and looks like for both you and for him. I am not saying it's full proof but it gives you an idea how you can FRAME the whole entire interaction by leading from a positive non needy perspective which can open up a dialogue about what you both are doing.
"so omg...did he court me? it was like around the world in 7 days, lol."
Yep you helped him burn it all out in a matter of days...Definitely should have slowed the guy down and that could be as simple as I'm busy tonite or busy this weekend and see him once a week and no sex for a few weeks, no spending the night, you have to slow it down, instead of full on dates like dinner, meeting family/friends, make it short and simple, coffee, lunch, him cooking you an omelet, spending a couple hours together. It was just too much firedragon, he's suffering from burn out.
Even in your 40's sex can matter, when you have sex can matter, if you have sex too soon, before he's been given a chance to emotionally bond with you he'll bail out on you, he'll burn out and HAVE NOTHING EMOTIONALLY TO KEEP HIMSELF THERE WITH YOU emotionally, mentally, physically, just like a 20 year old or a 35 year old would bail out and burn out, too much of a good thing leads to emotional mental burn out. With that being said, you had so much fun! You have no real regrets least none that you've mentioned here to us. You did what felt comfortable to you and what you do with your body is your business, it's none of our business what you choose and whom you choose to give yourself to.
Leo could go away only to come back full on again, it's known to happen....
I wonder though..Do you really want a 40 something guy with diabetes and drinks heavily, hangs onto his ex's on Facebook as a boyfriend? If you do then I'm curious about why you would, if you don't mind answering.
Yep you helped him burn it all out in a matter of days...Definitely should have slowed the guy down and that could be as simple as I'm busy tonite or busy this weekend and see him once a week and no sex for a few weeks, no spending the night, you have to slow it down, instead of full on dates like dinner, meeting family/friends, make it short and simple, coffee, lunch, him cooking you an omelet, spending a couple hours together. It was just too much firedragon, he's suffering from burn out.
Even in your 40's sex can matter, when you have sex can matter, if you have sex too soon, before he's been given a chance to emotionally bond with you he'll bail out on you, he'll burn out and HAVE NOTHING EMOTIONALLY TO KEEP HIMSELF THERE WITH YOU emotionally, mentally, physically, just like a 20 year old or a 35 year old would bail out and burn out, too much of a good thing leads to emotional mental burn out. With that being said, you had so much fun! You have no real regrets least none that you've mentioned here to us. You did what felt comfortable to you and what you do with your body is your business, it's none of our business what you choose and whom you choose to give yourself to.
Leo could go away only to come back full on again, it's known to happen....
I wonder though..Do you really want a 40 something guy with diabetes and drinks heavily, hangs onto his ex's on Facebook as a boyfriend? If you do then I'm curious about why you would, if you don't mind answering.
Was he sober when he said all that?
He's quite competitive, most likely explains his occupation as a self employed business owner...
Seems he was competing with you and that's never really a good thing long term. And I wonder if you dumping him had more to do with control over him, I sense a power struggle forming between the 2 of you through that dialogue and this struggle has been known to kill any and all potential for the relationship to move forward with these 2 signs.
Dumping him first was part of that control factor/power struggle, as if to say I don't need you.
He's quite competitive, most likely explains his occupation as a self employed business owner...
Seems he was competing with you and that's never really a good thing long term. And I wonder if you dumping him had more to do with control over him, I sense a power struggle forming between the 2 of you through that dialogue and this struggle has been known to kill any and all potential for the relationship to move forward with these 2 signs.
Dumping him first was part of that control factor/power struggle, as if to say I don't need you.
I actually don't feel you were making him the center of your universe, I'm not sure I ever implied you were doing that but since you brought it up your defensiveness about this makes me wonder if your being honest with yourself.
As for the sex, it's your body, your life, do what you want, how you want, no judgments from me, not my business.
You appear to be okay with the outcome good or bad, you seem to be good no matter the outcome and that's all that's really needed in the end.
As for the sex, it's your body, your life, do what you want, how you want, no judgments from me, not my business.
You appear to be okay with the outcome good or bad, you seem to be good no matter the outcome and that's all that's really needed in the end.
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
omg. i just wish i could stop thinking about him. 😢
specially as it makes me feel pathetic and i'm a really strong person, own business, successful...one leo experience and i'm reduced to mush! grrrrrrrrr.
lol, don't you hate that feeling? you know it's not doing you anything good yet you wanna keep coming back for more. haven't felt this strange pull in a long time and leo's are so refreshingly honest, upfrront and carefree with their feelings, so different from us Scorps that you just wanna see how it's gonna turn out.
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
oh he was and still is available. his ex had left 4 months before we met and he'd been living on his own. he said to me that ex's are ex's but that he still cares for them and so i hope that he's ensuring that his ex is happy in her new life before he embarks on another relationship.
my leo's formally and literally single too, he even fell for another girl before meeting me. damn their attachments to exes, as if they never really seperated. they love blurring the lines or stepping on it, sigh...
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
i'm not in love with him, i know that much. i've been single for 4 years and met some complete jerks in that time and he took pains to make me know he was different. he told me that he just wanted to make me smile cos i always seemed sad. i guess he said all the things i wanted to hear and being gullible, i believed him.
hahaha, and we thought as scorps, we've seen everything...honestly, i think my radar's all broken because of this sign, lol.
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
when he sent me the 'it was fun, but' text, it was the day before his birthday and i think he freaked out that i could possibly be going (although i had already told him i wouldn't cos i detected some change in atmosphere). i realised that the whole facebook thing had exposed me as some new threat to his myriad of ex's (apart from the mother of his kids who i get on great with) and so i removed myself.
click to expand
good for you firedragon. that's what i was trying to do over a week ago, extracting myself from getting tangled in all the mess
he's got too many loose ends, but i was missing him so much half of the time i was trying to walk away...😢
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
phoenix...yeah i was intrigued by the parallel, even down to the aries ex but i have to say that after a period of abstinence, me and the leo were at it hammer and tongs!! personally, as a scorp, i find adding good sex into the mix also adds to the confusion cos the chemical reactions going on in your brain when in the act can lead to some exaggerated proclamations about feelings that are based on the afterglow of orgasm rather than considered thought. in fact, he agreed with me that the sex between us was scarey cos of it's intensity and i don't think either one of us was ready.
i've only recently started posting again but i was a regular here a few years back and typically the reason i came first was about a relationship issue and here i am again. omg, i haven't moved on!!!
it's amazing how the love bug addles even the most sensible minds!!
i was a regular *lurker here too, when i was still with my ex-aries...(3 yrs ago) hahaha, felt lost then, felt lost now (only different packages) but they're both fire signs so the next one we'd probably got the hang of it already, LMAO
Posted by tiki33
BGP posted this link on the cap board and I thought it was interesting
This link may help you get an understanding phoenix on how to approach getting from casual to committed, what that feels and looks like for both you and for him. I am not saying it's full proof but it gives you an idea how you can FRAME the whole entire interaction by leading from a positive non needy perspective which can open up a dialogue about what you both are doing.
thanks tiki, the video was great but i already know what he wants, at this moment...to stay single, lol. im gonna work on what i want instead. truthfully, i wasn't looking for a relationship before i met him. i got a taste of what it could be like to be in a relationship again and i wanted it, right at that instant. i don't even need to ask, he was very honest in telling me what's the status of all his exes in his life. i should have walked away the instant i recognized he wasn't ready for a commitment. i'll do that next time, first red flag and i'll be heading in the opposite direction.
First of all, I want to apologize to hiplove. I did think you were being very rude but I shouldn't have gone to that level. However, Leo men can be players and will tell women whatever they want to hear so just asking where you stand will elicit a, "baby you know I love you" while acting in the opposite manner. What got me mad was women who don't see their own behavior and how that affects the guy. You will never get a straight answer from a player so be smart yourself. If he doesn't act like you're the best thing that ever happened to him, then don't give him any power. These are hard cold truths. So don't blame the guy every time, look at why you attract these types. Reject the players immediately. If you read further, you would see my advice is positive for females and for establishing a real relationship and not just hanging on cheap words.
And yeah, I've had good friends get screwed over by Leo females for materialistic reasons. Not ALL Leo females are that deep and care about love above all but they do exist as well as Leo males who are dtf and that's all they want. All signs are capable of acting like this. The point I was trying to make is to see the signs of when a Leo TRULY cares about you. We are fire/action orientated and will leave no doubt in your mind. A Leo male will chase what he deems worthy (even if he isn't 😉 ).
Firedragonscorpio: Quote: "then after a few weeks, he emailed me to say that he was in hibernation and he was sorry that it probably wasn't what i wanted to hear but his head was fucked and he needed time and that hopefully we would meet when he came out of the head fuck and take things from there."
I'm confused, he pursued you for six months but everything you mention with him is a matter of weeks. And just one week of sex on vacation? And he lives nearby to come and help you out but you aren't seeing each other? So, whatever that pursuing was for 6 months means nothing if he isn't continuing doing that and that was my point. No need to get upset by me stating that fact. You also said you're over it and understand and don't expect anything. If this guy meant nothing then why even post or make it a big deal? As a Scorpio, you should know it's either on or it's not. I have Scorpio rising and mars and I definitely understand that.
And yeah, I've had good friends get screwed over by Leo females for materialistic reasons. Not ALL Leo females are that deep and care about love above all but they do exist as well as Leo males who are dtf and that's all they want. All signs are capable of acting like this. The point I was trying to make is to see the signs of when a Leo TRULY cares about you. We are fire/action orientated and will leave no doubt in your mind. A Leo male will chase what he deems worthy (even if he isn't 😉 ).
Firedragonscorpio: Quote: "then after a few weeks, he emailed me to say that he was in hibernation and he was sorry that it probably wasn't what i wanted to hear but his head was fucked and he needed time and that hopefully we would meet when he came out of the head fuck and take things from there."
I'm confused, he pursued you for six months but everything you mention with him is a matter of weeks. And just one week of sex on vacation? And he lives nearby to come and help you out but you aren't seeing each other? So, whatever that pursuing was for 6 months means nothing if he isn't continuing doing that and that was my point. No need to get upset by me stating that fact. You also said you're over it and understand and don't expect anything. If this guy meant nothing then why even post or make it a big deal? As a Scorpio, you should know it's either on or it's not. I have Scorpio rising and mars and I definitely understand that.
Tiki, you need to write a book on relationships or at least have an advice column. Bravo! You are one of the few women on here who is willing to look deeper into her actions and how it relates to her partner. One thing I see a lot are women who act like they don't care in the beginning (Oh, we're just f buddies and it's fun) and then over time (Why isn't he treating me like a girlfriend!).
I lay it simply because that's how men think. You are either a f buddy or a women he respects and wants for a serious relationship. It may not be pc but it's reality.
One thing to clarify Tiki and I'd like to know your thoughts on it as well. Here's your quote:
"Men do the hot and cold dance when they lose interest, they lose interest fast, after the chase and he's WON his prize and the woman isn't challenging him anymore he'll grow bored, go back to the old drama's from his past to glean a challenge and revel in the excitement of all the women on facebook fighting over him, he'll revert back to this old relationship habits because he can't get from you what he gets from his ex's, excitement, drama, fun, now being with you it's just LOVE boring love and he's over it and will lean back on his old ex's to get his needs met or chase new women because it's exciting and fun and filled with an air of mystery, it's the UNKNOWN and that keeps him feeling alive inside, Jon is right, when men bore because the sex is too easy, the relationship is too easy, and it's expected of him to be there "all the time" doing the same ol' boring relationship stuff he'll lose interest and move on to someone or something more challenging."
It's really not a matter of boredom. What isn't challenging is what I rail against here all the time; that women are too easy which makes up 98% . I like a woman who is not afraid to be herself with me, tell me off when I need it, has her own life and priorities. When I know she is a woman with much to offer and can be strong in who she is (which includes HER morals/values and doesn't give in to an easy pursuit by me and sees through my bullshit), I know she has proven to be loyal and can enrich my life as I am looking to give the same but will not do this with just anyone. I know intrinsically as a male, I need to prove this and need to see this in a woman to call my own but if she doesn't ask this of me, I know I won't get it from her.
I lay it simply because that's how men think. You are either a f buddy or a women he respects and wants for a serious relationship. It may not be pc but it's reality.
One thing to clarify Tiki and I'd like to know your thoughts on it as well. Here's your quote:
"Men do the hot and cold dance when they lose interest, they lose interest fast, after the chase and he's WON his prize and the woman isn't challenging him anymore he'll grow bored, go back to the old drama's from his past to glean a challenge and revel in the excitement of all the women on facebook fighting over him, he'll revert back to this old relationship habits because he can't get from you what he gets from his ex's, excitement, drama, fun, now being with you it's just LOVE boring love and he's over it and will lean back on his old ex's to get his needs met or chase new women because it's exciting and fun and filled with an air of mystery, it's the UNKNOWN and that keeps him feeling alive inside, Jon is right, when men bore because the sex is too easy, the relationship is too easy, and it's expected of him to be there "all the time" doing the same ol' boring relationship stuff he'll lose interest and move on to someone or something more challenging."
It's really not a matter of boredom. What isn't challenging is what I rail against here all the time; that women are too easy which makes up 98% . I like a woman who is not afraid to be herself with me, tell me off when I need it, has her own life and priorities. When I know she is a woman with much to offer and can be strong in who she is (which includes HER morals/values and doesn't give in to an easy pursuit by me and sees through my bullshit), I know she has proven to be loyal and can enrich my life as I am looking to give the same but will not do this with just anyone. I know intrinsically as a male, I need to prove this and need to see this in a woman to call my own but if she doesn't ask this of me, I know I won't get it from her.
I mean, we get bored when a woman turns out to be like many out there already. The woman I've chosen for life is mine but it's not boring at all. We have been together for over two years but everyday I learn something new and grow to appreciate her more. She is worthy of my time and attention and I strive to be that for her. That is what is special, that is what is appreciated by a man.
Idk if that makes any sense or not, lol.
Idk if that makes any sense or not, lol.
Jon's my cousin and we practically live together (ha! 😉 It's odd how women reject a man's point of view when they ask for it just because it isn't what they want to hear. *deep sigh*
So they end up making the same mistakes over and over and.....
Tiki has great insight! You get a lot of flack for it but please know it's appreciated.
So they end up making the same mistakes over and over and.....
Tiki has great insight! You get a lot of flack for it but please know it's appreciated.
I see your point and I'll need to allow what you're saying to soak in, takes me awhile to get out of my own way, I am woman afterall LOL but I try really hard to see things from a male point of view.
To clarify my statement, when I say boredom I actually mean NOT CHALLENGING, I know I don't say it exactly the way a man would say it b/c I'm speaking to women and thus attempting to reach through my femininity to touch others mentally. Does that make sense? Challenging is something that comes from what you said earlier quote "I like a woman who is not afraid to be herself with me, tell me off when I need it, has her own life and priorities. When I know she is a woman with much to offer and can be strong in who she is (which includes HER morals/values and doesn't give in to an easy pursuit by me and sees through my bullshit)"
And not challenging comes in all kinds of forms, initiating sex too soon, giving sex too fast too soon, initiating most of the contact (chasing) him, obsessing over him, checking and rechecking his facebook page, sleeping with him right away, not challenging is being super available for any and everything, going along with whatever he wants, fulfilling his needs before her own, not calling him out on bullshit, allowing him to have his cake and eat it too, flirting in her face with no consequences, allowing him to have his ex's around and at the same time allow herself to be treated the same as all the other women, CONVINCING behavior, trying to convince a man she's worthy by DOING things like giving him money, buying things for him, cooking him food, cleaning his laundry, running her errands are just a few things women end up doing trying to GET AND KEEP a man, it goes on and on after awhile that kind of behavior/mentality is just NOT CHALLENGING, he'll grow bored (feel unchallenged) and head for more challenging pastures, friend zone her and move on.
I actually do get were you are coming from Jon...The women who hold themselves in high regard and never step down off her pedestal and do not do all these convincing needy desperate behaviors, don't accept less DAY ONE are the women who get husbands and longterm commitments.
Hopefully this makes sense to you LOL
To clarify my statement, when I say boredom I actually mean NOT CHALLENGING, I know I don't say it exactly the way a man would say it b/c I'm speaking to women and thus attempting to reach through my femininity to touch others mentally. Does that make sense? Challenging is something that comes from what you said earlier quote "I like a woman who is not afraid to be herself with me, tell me off when I need it, has her own life and priorities. When I know she is a woman with much to offer and can be strong in who she is (which includes HER morals/values and doesn't give in to an easy pursuit by me and sees through my bullshit)"
And not challenging comes in all kinds of forms, initiating sex too soon, giving sex too fast too soon, initiating most of the contact (chasing) him, obsessing over him, checking and rechecking his facebook page, sleeping with him right away, not challenging is being super available for any and everything, going along with whatever he wants, fulfilling his needs before her own, not calling him out on bullshit, allowing him to have his cake and eat it too, flirting in her face with no consequences, allowing him to have his ex's around and at the same time allow herself to be treated the same as all the other women, CONVINCING behavior, trying to convince a man she's worthy by DOING things like giving him money, buying things for him, cooking him food, cleaning his laundry, running her errands are just a few things women end up doing trying to GET AND KEEP a man, it goes on and on after awhile that kind of behavior/mentality is just NOT CHALLENGING, he'll grow bored (feel unchallenged) and head for more challenging pastures, friend zone her and move on.
I actually do get were you are coming from Jon...The women who hold themselves in high regard and never step down off her pedestal and do not do all these convincing needy desperate behaviors, don't accept less DAY ONE are the women who get husbands and longterm commitments.
Hopefully this makes sense to you LOL
"thanks tiki, the video was great but i already know what he wants, at this moment...to stay single, lol. im gonna work on what i want instead. truthfully, i wasn't looking for a relationship before i met him. i got a taste of what it could be like to be in a relationship again and i wanted it, right at that instant. i don't even need to ask, he was very honest in telling me what's the status of all his exes in his life. i should have walked away the instant i recognized he wasn't ready for a commitment. i'll do that next time, first red flag and i'll be heading in the opposite direction"
By George she's got it! LOL! But seriously the next time a guy isn't open to having a commitment nor available for one and shuts the option down completely and you know without a doubt in your body that eventually you'll want something more long term then walk the other way, I know how tempting it is to stay and at least try because as humans we crave companionship (least most of us do) and when the urgency of wanting something instantly creeps in well most of us will try anyway despite the reality of him not wanting to commit but next time do yourself a huge favor, don't date men that don't want real relationships, don't allow yourself to get sucked into a poor relationship pattern were you are DOING relationship stuff with a man that doesn't want a relationship only to keep playing out this faux type relationship (creating massive confusion for yourself) only to have to come back full circle to the truth which is he doesn't want a commitment with anyone, saves you from a ton of heartache and emotional stress.
It's never too late to try again with someone else always remember to LISTEN, listen to a man that says I don't want a commitment and BELIEVE him...
By George she's got it! LOL! But seriously the next time a guy isn't open to having a commitment nor available for one and shuts the option down completely and you know without a doubt in your body that eventually you'll want something more long term then walk the other way, I know how tempting it is to stay and at least try because as humans we crave companionship (least most of us do) and when the urgency of wanting something instantly creeps in well most of us will try anyway despite the reality of him not wanting to commit but next time do yourself a huge favor, don't date men that don't want real relationships, don't allow yourself to get sucked into a poor relationship pattern were you are DOING relationship stuff with a man that doesn't want a relationship only to keep playing out this faux type relationship (creating massive confusion for yourself) only to have to come back full circle to the truth which is he doesn't want a commitment with anyone, saves you from a ton of heartache and emotional stress.
It's never too late to try again with someone else always remember to LISTEN, listen to a man that says I don't want a commitment and BELIEVE him...
Posted by FireDragonScorpio
i have to say tiki that although you do indeed speak a lot of sense, i'm not entirely convinced you stick to the actual thread. it's like you're on a roll with your opinion and there's no stopping you. i don't know how many time i have to repeat that i do not, have not and never will display desperate behaviour and that's because i have absolutely no need to. i don't even think that phoenix is constantly checking his facebook page or displaying the other kinds of desperate behaviour you have now dedicated this thread to.
i will think twice before posting any personal info on the leo board from now as there's so much ego flying around here, it doesn't get acknowledged any way.
I was speaking to Jon Firedragon, if you go back to his last few threads he asked me to clarify what I meant by boredom. I wasn't actually talking about you and phoenix when I spoke about behaviors that are not challenging, I was mostly speaking about things I've seen other women do in real life, but I wasn't specifically pointing fingers at you nor at phoenix.
What is up with the defensive behavior? You get triggered really fast over absolutely nothing, I have never implied you or phoenix is desperate, I've even said that before time and time again I don't feel you 2 are desperate and if I did feel that way I'd say it, I've been on these boards for 4 years (almost) I've seen it all being played out, I'm not referencing you 2 specifically, I'd specifically say you 2 if I meant that, I don't run from anything, I don't imply anything I JUST SAY IT, yes I'm that bold, if I feel you are desperate I will say you are desperate and point out why I said it, if I feel you are easy I will say you specifically are easy and I will point out why I said it, I don't imply shit okay, I just say it and I'll back that shit up with a fight until the end.
So quit the ego shit okay, stop getting offended over nothing, there is no reason for you to feel insecure about what I'm saying unless it's true, there is no reason to defend your self when no one is attacking you or your behavior.
Just so you know I DO NOT feel you nor phoenix are being desperate, yes there were mistakes made, yes the timing was off but I haven't seen how either of you consistently behaved in desperate ways, not enough has been revealed to make that assessment.
Olive branch accepted...
LOL!@i am ashamed to say i've been hammering the weed a little today and so have a touch of paranoia going on....
Hey what's in that stuff? You're supposed to be mellowed out not paranoid!
Olive branch accepted...
LOL!@i am ashamed to say i've been hammering the weed a little today and so have a touch of paranoia going on....
Hey what's in that stuff? You're supposed to be mellowed out not paranoid!
Posted by tiki33Posted by FireDragonScorpio
i have to say tiki that although you do indeed speak a lot of sense, i'm not entirely convinced you stick to the actual thread. it's like you're on a roll with your opinion and there's no stopping you. i don't know how many time i have to repeat that i do not, have not and never will display desperate behaviour and that's because i have absolutely no need to. i don't even think that phoenix is constantly checking his facebook page or displaying the other kinds of desperate behaviour you have now dedicated this thread to.
i will think twice before posting any personal info on the leo board from now as there's so much ego flying around here, it doesn't get acknowledged any way.
I was speaking to Jon Firedragon, if you go back to his last few threads he asked me to clarify what I meant by boredom. I wasn't actually talking about you and phoenix when I spoke about behaviors that are not challenging, I was mostly speaking about things I've seen other women do in real life, but I wasn't specifically pointing fingers at you nor at phoenix.
What is up with the defensive behavior? You get triggered really fast over absolutely nothing, I have never implied you or phoenix is desperate, I've even said that before time and time again I don't feel you 2 are desperate and if I did feel that way I'd say it, I've been on these boards for 4 years (almost) I've seen it all being played out, I'm not referencing you 2 specificallyclick to expand
Posted by tiki33
You all are very insightful, I haven't had a chance to really read anything yet, super busy but for the record I'm not going anywhere anytime soon and I don't have an issue with anyone, it's the internet LOL! It's only as real as we make it, I'm here to give suggestions, offer help, make observations and yes I go hard sometimes but I love scorps thanks to a certain scorp I used to brawl it out with many moons ago but somehow managed to be really cool after all that e-fighting LOL and for the most part it's completely fine if my advice/suggestions are accepted or rejected, not a big deal, it appears you and firedragon got alternative observations and seem really grounded and less confused, that's all that really matters to me, that you walk away a
Posted by tiki33
little more emotionally grounded/better off than when you came seeking help.
Tiki never said we're desperate, lol..she was generalizing how things go when women offer more than what the men is willing to return. even if Tiki mentions that I AM desperate, i will just let it slide because im aware of what im doing, i know when im borderline pathetic over a guy. don't worry firedragon, i dont feel ur desperate since we're built to protect our hearts first and even if we were ranting about it here, i feel that we're the same, men would still be having a hard time telling if we're really into them or not. both our leos might not be aware of how much their actions affected us. we're ice queens remember? it's just better to see things written down and get other people to see the things we're seeing differently. sometimes, i feel i had this window of opportunity to be in a relationship with my leo and i let it pass coz i was too scared. like i said, timing. that time he wants me as a gf probably, i was too busy fighting my own feelings. and by that time he's relegated me as a friend, i am already hooked. anyway, at least now i know i am ready to be in a relationship, i wasn't when i met him.
i don't have shortage of male admirers anyway. in fact, im eyeing a pisces and a virgo right now. both have been clear that they want me. so i might be lurking at the pisces board more often =D. virgoes i know already, hehehe...1 month of trying to unravel how a leo mind works was fun. i learned a lot...
Word of advice for scorpio loving leo:
Heading: Would you like me to rest my case?
Leo is a mix of cancer and virgo. Their high morality, sense of organization, and people pleasing comes from Virgo. Their sweet, cuddly lovableness, and carefree (courting everyone) attitude comes from cancer.
Once a cancer told me that they had a partner and then kissed someone else but felt nothing. Cancers have told me that they can easily give in and cheat with no remorse.
In contrast, I've listened to several virgos feel obligated to stay loyal and felt overwhelming remorse about cheating due to their undying commitment to their significant other.
Leo is in the middle.
If you really care about and love a leo I will mention again...although scorpios will fight this to the death (out of fear of overwhelming the other with their feelings) THERE NEEDS TO BE COMMUNICATION.
I've been seeing a scorpio for months, and even though he hasn't really reinforced our relationship I could tell he really likes me to the point of practically falling for me.
He has repeatedly cooked dinner and breakfast for me, when I'm sleeping or laying down he immediately grabs a pillow and puts it under my head for comfort, he has given up his jacket and given it to me when we are walking around and I'm cold. He's been late to work to hang out with me. He exposes me to the things he likes and then tries to force me to learn it (teach me) in adorable ways kind of in a notebook manner...i.e. Noah tries teaches Allie swimming.."GET IT THE WATER!"
He says little things like I'm adorable when I sleep, he has ridiculous jealousies over celebrities such as Collin Ferril, and wants to do everything together. For example, he mentioned that it was too late for us to eat because I had work in the morning so he "guessed we weren't going to be able to eat"..kind of freaked me out because I thought to myself you can grab something to eat while I'm sleeping or cook something..you don't necessarily need ME there.
However, even though I feel this is the most stable, loving, romantic relation i have been in. I'm not getting those words. I'm not getting I like you, I love you, I want to be with you, I'm attracted to you. I need you or I want you.
So yesterday an ex that I have been avoiding but has been EXCEEDINGLY persistent to see me gave me a ring.
(amongst many others)
Because it has nothing to do with being "immature" or anything along those terms...EVERY LEO (even though on
Heading: Would you like me to rest my case?
Leo is a mix of cancer and virgo. Their high morality, sense of organization, and people pleasing comes from Virgo. Their sweet, cuddly lovableness, and carefree (courting everyone) attitude comes from cancer.
Once a cancer told me that they had a partner and then kissed someone else but felt nothing. Cancers have told me that they can easily give in and cheat with no remorse.
In contrast, I've listened to several virgos feel obligated to stay loyal and felt overwhelming remorse about cheating due to their undying commitment to their significant other.
Leo is in the middle.
If you really care about and love a leo I will mention again...although scorpios will fight this to the death (out of fear of overwhelming the other with their feelings) THERE NEEDS TO BE COMMUNICATION.
I've been seeing a scorpio for months, and even though he hasn't really reinforced our relationship I could tell he really likes me to the point of practically falling for me.
He has repeatedly cooked dinner and breakfast for me, when I'm sleeping or laying down he immediately grabs a pillow and puts it under my head for comfort, he has given up his jacket and given it to me when we are walking around and I'm cold. He's been late to work to hang out with me. He exposes me to the things he likes and then tries to force me to learn it (teach me) in adorable ways kind of in a notebook manner...i.e. Noah tries teaches Allie swimming.."GET IT THE WATER!"
He says little things like I'm adorable when I sleep, he has ridiculous jealousies over celebrities such as Collin Ferril, and wants to do everything together. For example, he mentioned that it was too late for us to eat because I had work in the morning so he "guessed we weren't going to be able to eat"..kind of freaked me out because I thought to myself you can grab something to eat while I'm sleeping or cook something..you don't necessarily need ME there.
However, even though I feel this is the most stable, loving, romantic relation i have been in. I'm not getting those words. I'm not getting I like you, I love you, I want to be with you, I'm attracted to you. I need you or I want you.
So yesterday an ex that I have been avoiding but has been EXCEEDINGLY persistent to see me gave me a ring.
(amongst many others)
Because it has nothing to do with being "immature" or anything along those terms...EVERY LEO (even though on
just an update for tiki, i know you'd be interested...leo and ex-aries gal just planned an out of town together for early next year. so, i guess he's emotionally available after all. and i guess im the one sending off signals that i am NOT emotionally available, LMAO. i can sense they'd be getting back together.
(continue)
EVERY LEO (even though when a relationship is over and it's over) EVERY LEO has a STRING OF EXES. I don't know why because almost every single one of my exes has kind of like become a "best friend" that constantly attempts to communicate with me, and I've learned that 2 of them got VIVIDLY UPSET to the point of psychotic when I didn't really want to communicate back with them...so I have learned to be civil to even the most repugnant of exes.
If you read the forum and you talk to any Leo, you'll see there are a whole bunch of exes they are attached to the hip to. This by no means that there is ever a chance of reconciliation. It just means that these people made an impact in our lives and it is not proper to just disregard them as trash because if it were the other way around we would want to be important to others as well. We don't like treating people in the way that we wouldn't like to be treated.
but this puts us in a predicament. Like the one I was in yesterday.
Yesterday I had some wine and this ex wanted to do something with me. I really didn't want to because I felt loyalty to my Scorp. But we ended up briefly making out and somewhat fondling. He wanted more. but I didn't want to because I was like screw this guy I like my scorp.
I didn't feel bad at all because I felt that when I texted by scorp that I would be going over to a friend's house, he should have gotten the cue and decided to either a) dissuade me or b) decide to supplement me going out with a friend with hanging out with him instead. and also c) He should really cement his feelings for me with something other than actions..with words.
Because who is to say that I really cheated when I'm not even sure if we are really in a legitimate relationship?
Sure all the signs are there, we call each other baby. We practically do everything together on our free time. it's more than sex, we converse, watch movies, play games, have dinner, wake up in the morning next to each other and have breakfast.
But is this really a relationship? Or are we really playing house?
To a leo everything isn't always what is SEEMS it is. A leo doesn't have GUT feelings. To a leo actions are just actions. A promise ring is nothing without a promise.
We aren't cheaters, we live in an idealistic superficial world where all we have is our WORD. A leo is about WORD AND HONOR. And honor can only be demonstrated through a person's actions after they have given you their WORD. Action
EVERY LEO (even though when a relationship is over and it's over) EVERY LEO has a STRING OF EXES. I don't know why because almost every single one of my exes has kind of like become a "best friend" that constantly attempts to communicate with me, and I've learned that 2 of them got VIVIDLY UPSET to the point of psychotic when I didn't really want to communicate back with them...so I have learned to be civil to even the most repugnant of exes.
If you read the forum and you talk to any Leo, you'll see there are a whole bunch of exes they are attached to the hip to. This by no means that there is ever a chance of reconciliation. It just means that these people made an impact in our lives and it is not proper to just disregard them as trash because if it were the other way around we would want to be important to others as well. We don't like treating people in the way that we wouldn't like to be treated.
but this puts us in a predicament. Like the one I was in yesterday.
Yesterday I had some wine and this ex wanted to do something with me. I really didn't want to because I felt loyalty to my Scorp. But we ended up briefly making out and somewhat fondling. He wanted more. but I didn't want to because I was like screw this guy I like my scorp.
I didn't feel bad at all because I felt that when I texted by scorp that I would be going over to a friend's house, he should have gotten the cue and decided to either a) dissuade me or b) decide to supplement me going out with a friend with hanging out with him instead. and also c) He should really cement his feelings for me with something other than actions..with words.
Because who is to say that I really cheated when I'm not even sure if we are really in a legitimate relationship?
Sure all the signs are there, we call each other baby. We practically do everything together on our free time. it's more than sex, we converse, watch movies, play games, have dinner, wake up in the morning next to each other and have breakfast.
But is this really a relationship? Or are we really playing house?
To a leo everything isn't always what is SEEMS it is. A leo doesn't have GUT feelings. To a leo actions are just actions. A promise ring is nothing without a promise.
We aren't cheaters, we live in an idealistic superficial world where all we have is our WORD. A leo is about WORD AND HONOR. And honor can only be demonstrated through a person's actions after they have given you their WORD. Action
mean nothing and the reverse is true as well.
sweat.lioness,
in a month ive lurked through these leo threads, i never saw leos as cheaters. true u love the attention, and just so happens scorps are different in handling exes. for us, it's only black or white, no gray area. that's why i was amazed at the way leos look at things. ive truly learned a lot. u were right, actions doesnt mean anything if not backed with words. ill keep that in mind the next time a leo goes under my radar.
in a month ive lurked through these leo threads, i never saw leos as cheaters. true u love the attention, and just so happens scorps are different in handling exes. for us, it's only black or white, no gray area. that's why i was amazed at the way leos look at things. ive truly learned a lot. u were right, actions doesnt mean anything if not backed with words. ill keep that in mind the next time a leo goes under my radar.
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You know his flaws and the good side of him and if you think you can handle him (flaws and all) and maintain a positive optimistic attitude and still maintain your own life without disturbances then try. IMO that's a huge pair of shoes to fill when taking on a man with ego issues and alcohol issues, it takes a ton of patience and you'll have to really dig deep to maintain an objective loving attitude when he's not being the "nice guy" that caters to your every whim but Scorp's are strong and from what I've found can pretty much handle the hard stuff that comes up in a relationship.
You are doing the absolute best thing, continue dating, having fun and being open with your heart when you see your lion, he'll figure out he's missing out on a good thing much later rather than sooner.
Not being mean but the whole "saving thing" is not good, he has to want to save himself from alcohol, he has to care about himself, care about his health, saving him would only wear you out, he's not a child, love really has a healing effect on a lion, if you can show him you care about him and love him without LOSING YOURSELF in all his issues, meaning not take on his personal issues as your own, maintain a safe distance from his stuff and allow him the space to deal with it but be supportive then you could actually maintain some closeness with him. Leo men are easy to love and love to be and feel loved and admired.
You've given enough cons in this thread that you can look back on for yourself and come to your own conclusions, what I do observe about this guy is that there are way too many obstacles to get over just to have a one on one reciprocal relationship loving relationship, too much baggage to contend with and that baggage would eventually seep in and muck it all up anyway but with that being said, if you feel you can handle it then do it, try it, see if it fits.