Why Leo Man is distanced as soon as he calls himself my new boyfriend?

We’ve known each other for a year as we used to work together. He was chasing me and wanted me to meet his parents but I pushed him back because someone Said he already had a gf.

Then he decided to go back to his country and we talked things through and found out someone was lying about him he didn’t had a gf.

We hung out a few times and kissed the night before he left.

It’s been a month since he’s gone back and we text and video call eveyday. He asked me to visit his country in April for a wedding. He told me to tell my boss that my new boyfriend wants to see me. He knows my boss as he used to work here.

I told him I need to think about this as it’s too soon. Yesterday and today I noticed a delay in replying in messages. Less transparency and also he seems to be online for a long period of time when he claims to be studying an online course. If he’s online for this long and not reading my messages I feel like this is really rude. If I’m busy I would have written to acknowledge I’m busy I will write you later.

If he really wants to be my new boyfriend his behavior is pulling back. It’s very confusing for me. Yet he is pretty possessive of me he doesn’t like it when he notice men are smiling at me while we video call during my lunch out when I’m outside of office.

What’s his behavior all about?

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

Posted by HearttofTopaz
You can find someone that lives closer and gives you less trouble.

I don’t think the trouble is the distance. It’s the distancing. I’ve done LDR before who is also a Leo

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

click to expand

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Your moon and rising are detatched signs. So your emotions and the way you come across are Leo's opposite. Your Virgo is very structured and controlled. Communication has to be really good between you. You need to tell him how you feel about him more so he knows where he stands with you and feels secure. You need consistency and will sense the tiniest difference in someone and that will make you insecure. You just need to talk to him about how you feel about him and know that it's ok to be needy with Leo. If they like you, they won't mind xx

click to expand

Sounds like you know him and I already. The first time I opened up to him was I miss him and I don’t want to lose our connection. He then opened up and tell me I’m constantly on his mind.

I guess he likes it when I’m needy. I’m not sure if I should tell him I noticed him being online? I sent him a message while he was online then later I was replying to other message but opened our chat and aw him still online so I was surprised he was online for this long

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Your moon and rising are detatched signs. So your emotions and the way you come across are Leo's opposite. Your Virgo is very structured and controlled. Communication has to be really good between you. You need to tell him how you feel about him more so he knows where he stands with you and feels secure. You need consistency and will sense the tiniest difference in someone and that will make you insecure. You just need to talk to him about how you feel about him and know that it's ok to be needy with Leo. If they like you, they won't mind xx

Sounds like you know him and I already. The first time I opened up to him was I miss him and I don’t want to lose our connection. He then opened up and tell me I’m constantly on his mind.

I guess he likes it when I’m needy. I’m not sure if I should tell him I noticed him being online? I sent him a message while he was online then later I was replying to other message but opened our chat and aw him still online so I was surprised he was online for this long

Maybe he left it online but isn't. Like he didn't turn it off so you would know he's there if you have time? I don't know... but you should talk to him. But not that he was online because then he'll say why didn't you message me then. Lol. But yeah if we like you, we want you to be needy because we like being needed. It's cute.

click to expand

If he says why didn’t you message me I would bdvlike I did lol

Yea he loves it when I tell him I want him. Like today I said I wish he was here. I that I miss him. He was laughing. I asked what you laughing at? He said he loves it when I’m smiling and giggling. Then I asked how much he missed me he goes he is not sure how to measure. Then I jokingly said if he miss me he can send me a video of him eating a banana lol

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Your moon and rising are detatched signs. So your emotions and the way you come across are Leo's opposite. Your Virgo is very structured and controlled. Communication has to be really good between you. You need to tell him how you feel about him more so he knows where he stands with you and feels secure. You need consistency and will sense the tiniest difference in someone and that will make you insecure. You just need to talk to him about how you feel about him and know that it's ok to be needy with Leo. If they like you, they won't mind xx

Sounds like you know him and I already. The first time I opened up to him was I miss him and I don’t want to lose our connection. He then opened up and tell me I’m constantly on his mind.

I guess he likes it when I’m needy. I’m not sure if I should tell him I noticed him being online? I sent him a message while he was online then later I was replying to other message but opened our chat and aw him still online so I was surprised he was online for this long

Maybe he left it online but isn't. Like he didn't turn it off so you would know he's there if you have time? I don't know... but you should talk to him. But not that he was online because then he'll say why didn't you message me then. Lol. But yeah if we like you, we want you to be needy because we like being needed. It's cute.

If he says why didn’t you message me I would bdvlike I did lol

Yea he loves it when I tell him I want him. Like today I said I wish he was here. I that I miss him. He was laughing. I asked what you laughing at? He said he loves it when I’m smiling and giggling. Then I asked how much he missed me he goes he is not sure how to measure. Then I jokingly said if he miss me he can send me a video of him eating a banana lol

Lol that's cute. So what are you worried about?

click to expand

Worrying About him being online for long time and not even reading my message. Colleagues who knows us both think it’s nkt cool. This guy is married he knows us both and thinks he should be happy to hear from you. Instead of just notbresidbt yiur mesagse while being online for an hour.

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Your moon and rising are detatched signs. So your emotions and the way you come across are Leo's opposite. Your Virgo is very structured and controlled. Communication has to be really good between you. You need to tell him how you feel about him more so he knows where he stands with you and feels secure. You need consistency and will sense the tiniest difference in someone and that will make you insecure. You just need to talk to him about how you feel about him and know that it's ok to be needy with Leo. If they like you, they won't mind xx

Sounds like you know him and I already. The first time I opened up to him was I miss him and I don’t want to lose our connection. He then opened up and tell me I’m constantly on his mind.

I guess he likes it when I’m needy. I’m not sure if I should tell him I noticed him being online? I sent him a message while he was online then later I was replying to other message but opened our chat and aw him still online so I was surprised he was online for this long

Maybe he left it online but isn't. Like he didn't turn it off so you would know he's there if you have time? I don't know... but you should talk to him. But not that he was online because then he'll say why didn't you message me then. Lol. But yeah if we like you, we want you to be needy because we like being needed. It's cute.

If he says why didn’t you message me I would bdvlike I did lol

Yea he loves it when I tell him I want him. Like today I said I wish he was here. I that I miss him. He was laughing. I asked what you laughing at? He said he loves it when I’m smiling and giggling. Then I asked how much he missed me he goes he is not sure how to measure. Then I jokingly said if he miss me he can send me a video of him eating a banana lol

Lol that's cute. So what are you worried about?

Worrying About him being online for long time and not even reading my message. Colleagues who knows us both think it’s nkt cool. This guy is married he knows us both and thinks he should be happy to hear from you. Instead of just notbresidbt yiur mesagse while being online for an hour.

Can you tell if he was active online? Or does it just show if they're logged in even if they're not in the app?

click to expand

Yes it’s facebook messenger. He’s definitely online. No one can be consistently online for an hour. Unless yo user playing Facebook games or video calling cos even if it’s text you go in and out.

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Your moon and rising are detatched signs. So your emotions and the way you come across are Leo's opposite. Your Virgo is very structured and controlled. Communication has to be really good between you. You need to tell him how you feel about him more so he knows where he stands with you and feels secure. You need consistency and will sense the tiniest difference in someone and that will make you insecure. You just need to talk to him about how you feel about him and know that it's ok to be needy with Leo. If they like you, they won't mind xx

Sounds like you know him and I already. The first time I opened up to him was I miss him and I don’t want to lose our connection. He then opened up and tell me I’m constantly on his mind.

I guess he likes it when I’m needy. I’m not sure if I should tell him I noticed him being online? I sent him a message while he was online then later I was replying to other message but opened our chat and aw him still online so I was surprised he was online for this long

Maybe he left it online but isn't. Like he didn't turn it off so you would know he's there if you have time? I don't know... but you should talk to him. But not that he was online because then he'll say why didn't you message me then. Lol. But yeah if we like you, we want you to be needy because we like being needed. It's cute.

If he says why didn’t you message me I would bdvlike I did lol

Yea he loves it when I tell him I want him. Like today I said I wish he was here. I that I miss him. He was laughing. I asked what you laughing at? He said he loves it when I’m smiling and giggling. Then I asked how much he missed me he goes he is not sure how to measure. Then I jokingly said if he miss me he can send me a video of him eating a banana lol

Lol that's cute. So what are you worried about?

Worrying About him being online for long time and not even reading my message. Colleagues who knows us both think it’s nkt cool. This guy is married he knows us both and thinks he should be happy to hear from you. Instead of just notbresidbt yiur mesagse while being online for an hour.

Can you tell if he was active online? Or does it just show if they're logged in even if they're not in the app?

Yes it’s facebook messenger. He’s definitely online. No one can be consistently online for an hour. Unless yo user playing Facebook games or video calling cos even if it’s text you go in and out.

So maybe he was scrolling through memes and watching stupid gifs and videos or playing games...? Who knows. If it's just a one off thing and not all the time maybe just let it go.

click to expand

It stated 2 days ago. Saw him online for long period like 20 mins to 1 hr before going offline.

I don’t think he plays any games. Even if he does Facebook games doesn’t require constant attention he can still tap out and read a message.

It appears to be more like video call. I really like to bring this up like did you get cold feet after you call yourself my new boyfriend? Cos I notice this thing. Or if you met someone let me know cos I can see even when you are texting me you are online and talking to someone else. You are not as present

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Your moon and rising are detatched signs. So your emotions and the way you come across are Leo's opposite. Your Virgo is very structured and controlled. Communication has to be really good between you. You need to tell him how you feel about him more so he knows where he stands with you and feels secure. You need consistency and will sense the tiniest difference in someone and that will make you insecure. You just need to talk to him about how you feel about him and know that it's ok to be needy with Leo. If they like you, they won't mind xx

Sounds like you know him and I already. The first time I opened up to him was I miss him and I don’t want to lose our connection. He then opened up and tell me I’m constantly on his mind.

I guess he likes it when I’m needy. I’m not sure if I should tell him I noticed him being online? I sent him a message while he was online then later I was replying to other message but opened our chat and aw him still online so I was surprised he was online for this long

Maybe he left it online but isn't. Like he didn't turn it off so you would know he's there if you have time? I don't know... but you should talk to him. But not that he was online because then he'll say why didn't you message me then. Lol. But yeah if we like you, we want you to be needy because we like being needed. It's cute.

If he says why didn’t you message me I would bdvlike I did lol

Yea he loves it when I tell him I want him. Like today I said I wish he was here. I that I miss him. He was laughing. I asked what you laughing at? He said he loves it when I’m smiling and giggling. Then I asked how much he missed me he goes he is not sure how to measure. Then I jokingly said if he miss me he can send me a video of him eating a banana lol

Lol that's cute. So what are you worried about?

Worrying About him being online for long time and not even reading my message. Colleagues who knows us both think it’s nkt cool. This guy is married he knows us both and thinks he should be happy to hear from you. Instead of just notbresidbt yiur mesagse while being online for an hour.

Can you tell if he was active online? Or does it just show if they're logged in even if they're not in the app?

Yes it’s facebook messenger. He’s definitely online. No one can be consistently online for an hour. Unless yo user playing Facebook games or video calling cos even if it’s text you go in and out.

So maybe he was scrolling through memes and watching stupid gifs and videos or playing games...? Who knows. If it's just a one off thing and not all the time maybe just let it go.

It stated 2 days ago. Saw him online for long period like 20 mins to 1 hr before going offline.

I don’t think he plays any games. Even if he does Facebook games doesn’t require constant attention he can still tap out and read a message.

It appears to be more like video call. I really like to bring this up like did you get cold feet after you call yourself my new boyfriend? Cos I notice this thing. Or if you met someone let me know cos I can see even when you are texting me you are online and talking to someone else. You are not as presence

Ahhh ok. If it's bothering you and it's become a pattern ask him. Maybe don't jump to conclusions about someone else though. No one likes to have their trust questioned and it might have been nothing to worry about.

click to expand

I agree. Just trying to think of a diplomatic way to bring it up so I don’t bottle up my feelings and he doesn’t feel accused

First, Leos are both busy and social people. You can't expect him to keep up the same amount of communication with you when he's in another country. Second, you've answered your own question. He was online because he's taking an online course, not because he had time to talk to you. He has a life outside of you after all.

Did you ever stop to consider that he's leaving your messages unread because he doesn't have time to respond to them yet? Maybe he wants to read them when he has time to properly respond. Would you rather him look at the messages and not respond? We both know that the answer is, no. That would probably drive you crazy. So this guy can't win either way.

In his mind he's already told you want he wants, so he's giving you the space to "think" about it. He's giving you the time that you need, but don't expect the Leo to wait around while you mull over your feelings about him. While you're "thinking" about his offer, he's pursuing his goals. It's what Leos do. If you can't handle that, then this LDR is probably not for you.

Additionally stop taking random advice from friends and colleagues, they clearly don't have the facts. Did those rumors about the Leo having a girlfriend wind up being true? Stop following gossip and what other people say. Keep things between you and the Leo. Leos hate Hate HATE having other people meddling in our affairs. It doesn't matter what your coworkers think, they aren't in your position.

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

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Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
He asked you to come see him and you said it's too soon. So it sounds like you're not sure about your relationship and you're trying to keep the distance.

I told him it’s too soon cos he said things are new, I want to feel that things are more established. Also I told him I already planned a trip in March to see my father. He told me to tell my father I’m going to see my new boyfriend.

Also with the way he is backing off now I would be a fool to go see him. It’s a very long way... if he really wants me to see him I need to know why is he online for hours and not responding. Is he video calling someone else while I’m at work?

What's his venus and mars?

I'm usually very consistent if I'm feeling it. The only time i start backing off is if the other person changes. If they say no or criticise me, them then i withdraw too. Pulling me back in once that happens is very hard. I have to start opening up all over again. I'll stay around and give them a few chances to make me feel safe again. I am very loyal so i will keep trying and stay until almost all hope is gone. When it's gone, i tell them. If he's still contacting you every day then he's probably still trying. Maybe talk to him about it. Tell him you've noticed and want to know if something upset him.

Our placement is kinda similar

He is Leo sun, sag moon, Leo mercury, Leo Venus, Gemini’s mars, cap rising

I’m Virgo sun, aqua moon, Virgo Mercury, Leo Venus, Leo mars, aqua rising

We can talk about anything and not afraid to show emotions and we have lots in commons too.

Your moon and rising are detatched signs. So your emotions and the way you come across are Leo's opposite. Your Virgo is very structured and controlled. Communication has to be really good between you. You need to tell him how you feel about him more so he knows where he stands with you and feels secure. You need consistency and will sense the tiniest difference in someone and that will make you insecure. You just need to talk to him about how you feel about him and know that it's ok to be needy with Leo. If they like you, they won't mind xx

Sounds like you know him and I already. The first time I opened up to him was I miss him and I don’t want to lose our connection. He then opened up and tell me I’m constantly on his mind.

I guess he likes it when I’m needy. I’m not sure if I should tell him I noticed him being online? I sent him a message while he was online then later I was replying to other message but opened our chat and aw him still online so I was surprised he was online for this long

Maybe he left it online but isn't. Like he didn't turn it off so you would know he's there if you have time? I don't know... but you should talk to him. But not that he was online because then he'll say why didn't you message me then. Lol. But yeah if we like you, we want you to be needy because we like being needed. It's cute.

If he says why didn’t you message me I would bdvlike I did lol

Yea he loves it when I tell him I want him. Like today I said I wish he was here. I that I miss him. He was laughing. I asked what you laughing at? He said he loves it when I’m smiling and giggling. Then I asked how much he missed me he goes he is not sure how to measure. Then I jokingly said if he miss me he can send me a video of him eating a banana lol

Lol that's cute. So what are you worried about?

Worrying About him being online for long time and not even reading my message. Colleagues who knows us both think it’s nkt cool. This guy is married he knows us both and thinks he should be happy to hear from you. Instead of just notbresidbt yiur mesagse while being online for an hour.

Can you tell if he was active online? Or does it just show if they're logged in even if they're not in the app?

Yes it’s facebook messenger. He’s definitely online. No one can be consistently online for an hour. Unless yo user playing Facebook games or video calling cos even if it’s text you go in and out.

So maybe he was scrolling through memes and watching stupid gifs and videos or playing games...? Who knows. If it's just a one off thing and not all the time maybe just let it go.

It stated 2 days ago. Saw him online for long period like 20 mins to 1 hr before going offline.

I don’t think he plays any games. Even if he does Facebook games doesn’t require constant attention he can still tap out and read a message.

It appears to be more like video call. I really like to bring this up like did you get cold feet after you call yourself my new boyfriend? Cos I notice this thing. Or if you met someone let me know cos I can see even when you are texting me you are online and talking to someone else. You are not as presence

Ahhh ok. If it's bothering you and it's become a pattern ask him. Maybe don't jump to conclusions about someone else though. No one likes to have their trust questioned and it might have been nothing to worry about.

I agree. Just trying to think of a diplomatic way to bring it up so I don’t bottle up my feelings and he doesn’t feel accused

I usually joke about stuff that's hard to talk about. But that one is tough because it's so specific and means you are checking up on him to see if he's online...

Maybe just ask what he did today. Ask him if he's still keeping in touch with anyone from wherever you are. If he misses his old friends... stuff like that. Fish for information 😂

click to expand

Haha been here done that. He told me he did house work did grocery shopping and studying and bought bananas 😂 I’m like of course you bought bananas show me a video of you eating it while maintaining eye contact with the camera.

Posted by Chuckcem
First, Leos are both busy and social people. You can't expect him to keep up the same amount of communication with you when he's in another country. Second, you've answered your own question. He was online because he's taking an online course, not because he had time to talk to you. He has a life outside of you after all.

Did you ever stop to consider that he's leaving your messages unread because he doesn't have time to respond to them yet? Maybe he wants to read them when he has time to properly respond. Would you rather him look at the messages and not respond? We both know that the answer is, no. That would probably drive you crazy. So this guy can't win either way.

In his mind he's already told you want he wants, so he's giving you the space to "think" about it. He's giving you the time that you need, but don't expect the Leo to wait around while you mull over your feelings about him. While you're "thinking" about his offer, he's pursuing his goals. It's what Leos do. If you can't handle that, then this LDR is probably not for you.

I got your point, he’s online studying a course then he shouldn’t really be online on Fb messenger... this is what got me worried.

Him inviting me to his country by justbsaying he is my new boyfriend. He didn’t even use the word we are exclusive. I wasn’t saying I’m not into him. I said I need more time for things to be more established. Let’s plan for a visit properly. I’m thinking may be sometime in July. As I have work commitment too I hope he can understand....

Posted by SpaceBird
He likes the idea of 'having you' but not actually being with you.

that's my worry, i suspect he could be a commitment phobe as his longest relationship was 4 years and thats 8 years ago. since then he kept chasing after a women with a certain look and he knows well about their character flaws and still get into relatonship with them then he breaks up with tehm for the same flaw.. its like purposely going it cos he knows its safe so he won't have to committ forever

@Lioness18881 lol he didn't do it, not many ppl are that brave to send a video of themselves eating a banana. I know I'm not htat brave. haha

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Lioness18881 lol he didn't do it, not many ppl are that brave to send a video of themselves eating a banana. I know I'm not htat brave. haha

Fisrt he takes ages to reply. Next he avoids providing evidence of bananas. Ask him what else he's hiding from you!

click to expand

LOL that's a nice one! its like show me the banana! but what if he shows me the wrong banana? hahahahah

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem
First, Leos are both busy and social people. You can't expect him to keep up the same amount of communication with you when he's in another country. Second, you've answered your own question. He was online because he's taking an online course, not because he had time to talk to you. He has a life outside of you after all.

Did you ever stop to consider that he's leaving your messages unread because he doesn't have time to respond to them yet? Maybe he wants to read them when he has time to properly respond. Would you rather him look at the messages and not respond? We both know that the answer is, no. That would probably drive you crazy. So this guy can't win either way.

In his mind he's already told you want he wants, so he's giving you the space to "think" about it. He's giving you the time that you need, but don't expect the Leo to wait around while you mull over your feelings about him. While you're "thinking" about his offer, he's pursuing his goals. It's what Leos do. If you can't handle that, then this LDR is probably not for you.

I got your point, he’s online studying a course then he shouldn’t really be online on Fb messenger... this is what got me worried.

Him inviting me to his country by justbsaying he is my new boyfriend. He didn’t even use the word we are exclusive. I wasn’t saying I’m not into him. I said I need more time for things to be more established. Let’s plan for a visit properly. I’m thinking may be sometime in July. As I have work commitment too I hope he can understand....

click to expand

You'll need to relax or else your insecurities will burn this to the ground. Insecurities and LDRs don't mix. So what if he's on FB messenger? He could be chatting with other colleagues and/or online classmates. Even if he isn't, he may not want to engage you in conversation until he has the time to do so.

I personally spend multiple hours online working on my business, that doesn't mean I have the time to respond to everyone at a moment's notice. Just because people can see me online doesn't mean I'm available. I often leave messages unread until I have time to respond to them fully. It comes with being a busy person.

Also why would he use the word "exclusive" with you at this time? You told him that you needed to "think" about a relationship. To a Leo that practically sounds like a "No". Most people who say, "Let me think about it" or "Maybe" are just to nice to actually say, "No". Maybe that's not the case with you, but the Leo probably doesn't know that. To him your response sounded as if you're indecisive about him, which probably has him on guard.

Here's one thing to know. Leos are goal based people. We won't move unless we know what we're moving toward. We will create a path when we believe an opportunity merits it, but we won't act aimlessly. This means that the Leo probably won't pursue you much more until you come back with a solid answer. This is especially true due to the distance.

If you have concerns, then you need to state them clearly. Leo is not known for subtlety. I have a lot of close Virgo friends and one of the things I'll never understand is how Virgos often expect people to read their minds. Just know that how you perceive things and how this Leo perceives them are quite different.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem
First, Leos are both busy and social people. You can't expect him to keep up the same amount of communication with you when he's in another country. Second, you've answered your own question. He was online because he's taking an online course, not because he had time to talk to you. He has a life outside of you after all.

Did you ever stop to consider that he's leaving your messages unread because he doesn't have time to respond to them yet? Maybe he wants to read them when he has time to properly respond. Would you rather him look at the messages and not respond? We both know that the answer is, no. That would probably drive you crazy. So this guy can't win either way.

In his mind he's already told you want he wants, so he's giving you the space to "think" about it. He's giving you the time that you need, but don't expect the Leo to wait around while you mull over your feelings about him. While you're "thinking" about his offer, he's pursuing his goals. It's what Leos do. If you can't handle that, then this LDR is probably not for you.

I got your point, he’s online studying a course then he shouldn’t really be online on Fb messenger... this is what got me worried.

Him inviting me to his country by justbsaying he is my new boyfriend. He didn’t even use the word we are exclusive. I wasn’t saying I’m not into him. I said I need more time for things to be more established. Let’s plan for a visit properly. I’m thinking may be sometime in July. As I have work commitment too I hope he can understand....

You'll need to relax or else your insecurities will burn this to the ground. Insecurities and LDRs don't mix. So what if he's on FB messenger? He could be chatting with other colleagues and/or online classmates. Even if he isn't, he may not want to engage you in conversation until he has the time to do so.

I personally spend multiple hours online working on my business, that doesn't mean I have the time to respond to everyone at a moment's notice. Just because people can see me online doesn't mean I'm available. I often leave messages unread until I have time to respond to them fully. It comes with being a busy person.

Also why would he use the word "exclusive" with you at this time? You told him that you needed to "think" about a relationship. To a Leo that practically sounds like a "No". Most people who say, "Let me think about it" or "Maybe" are just to nice to actually say, "No". Maybe that's not the case with you, but the Leo probably doesn't know that. To him your response sounded as if you're indecisive about him, which probably has him on guard.

Here's one thing to know. Leos are goal based people. We won't move unless we know what we're moving toward. We will create a path when we believe an opportunity merits it, but we won't act aimlessly. This means that the Leo probably won't pursue you much more until you come back with a solid answer. This is especially true due to the distance.

If you have concerns, then you need to state them clearly. Leo is not known for subtlety. I have a lot of close Virgo friends and one of the things I'll never understand is how Virgos often expect people to read their minds. Just know that how you perceive things and how this Leo perceives them are quite different.

click to expand

I didn't mean to i need to think about the relationship. I said i need time to think for my trip as I need things to be more established between us. I see your point though. As he told me in his country girls take charge in relatioship I asked how? he goes the girls ask what are we now? So I asked ok what are we now? he said we are getting to know each oher.

the next day (2 days ago) he said he is my new bf and he is inviting me to a weding. I was like mmm ok 2 days ago you said we are just getting to know each other? he goes yes cos its new.

I will let him know my concern about eh trip as you adviced.

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem
First, Leos are both busy and social people. You can't expect him to keep up the same amount of communication with you when he's in another country. Second, you've answered your own question. He was online because he's taking an online course, not because he had time to talk to you. He has a life outside of you after all.

Did you ever stop to consider that he's leaving your messages unread because he doesn't have time to respond to them yet? Maybe he wants to read them when he has time to properly respond. Would you rather him look at the messages and not respond? We both know that the answer is, no. That would probably drive you crazy. So this guy can't win either way.

In his mind he's already told you want he wants, so he's giving you the space to "think" about it. He's giving you the time that you need, but don't expect the Leo to wait around while you mull over your feelings about him. While you're "thinking" about his offer, he's pursuing his goals. It's what Leos do. If you can't handle that, then this LDR is probably not for you.

I got your point, he’s online studying a course then he shouldn’t really be online on Fb messenger... this is what got me worried.

Him inviting me to his country by justbsaying he is my new boyfriend. He didn’t even use the word we are exclusive. I wasn’t saying I’m not into him. I said I need more time for things to be more established. Let’s plan for a visit properly. I’m thinking may be sometime in July. As I have work commitment too I hope he can understand....

You'll need to relax or else your insecurities will burn this to the ground. Insecurities and LDRs don't mix. So what if he's on FB messenger? He could be chatting with other colleagues and/or online classmates. Even if he isn't, he may not want to engage you in conversation until he has the time to do so.

I personally spend multiple hours online working on my business, that doesn't mean I have the time to respond to everyone at a moment's notice. Just because people can see me online doesn't mean I'm available. I often leave messages unread until I have time to respond to them fully. It comes with being a busy person.

Also why would he use the word "exclusive" with you at this time? You told him that you needed to "think" about a relationship. To a Leo that practically sounds like a "No". Most people who say, "Let me think about it" or "Maybe" are just to nice to actually say, "No". Maybe that's not the case with you, but the Leo probably doesn't know that. To him your response sounded as if you're indecisive about him, which probably has him on guard.

Here's one thing to know. Leos are goal based people. We won't move unless we know what we're moving toward. We will create a path when we believe an opportunity merits it, but we won't act aimlessly. This means that the Leo probably won't pursue you much more until you come back with a solid answer. This is especially true due to the distance.

If you have concerns, then you need to state them clearly. Leo is not known for subtlety. I have a lot of close Virgo friends and one of the things I'll never understand is how Virgos often expect people to read their minds. Just know that how you perceive things and how this Leo perceives them are quite different.

I didn't mean to i need to think about the relationship. I said i need time to think for my trip as I need things to be more established between us. I see your point though. As he told me in his country girls take charge in relatioship I asked how? he goes the girls ask what are we now? So I asked ok what are we now? he said we are getting to know each oher.

the next day (2 days ago) he said he is my new bf and he is inviting me to a weding. I was like mmm ok 2 days ago you said we are just getting to know each other? he goes yes cos its new.

I will let him know my concern about eh trip as you adviced.

click to expand

Got it, so you're moving at two different speeds then. One thing to take from this is that he's informed you about his current situation. If girls in his country are more forward (which is actually natural), that means he's probably used to that mentality. Just know that he lives in a place where women aren't shy to approach him. Granted he could just be saying that just to push you toward being more proactive toward him, but that's not entirely a bad thing.

What you now know is that he's interested, but not forceful. It's entirely up to you if you want to be with him or not. Most guys will chase a woman mindlessly to lock her down. This Leo doesn't feel compelled to do that. He wants you to have the strength to approach him. After all he's already laid out the groundwork.

Leos like direct people. We find strength and decisive behavior attractive. Once we're direct with you, we expect it back. So yeah you'll want to voice out exactly what's on your mind before deciding on that trip. Also know that if it doesn't work out, it's no big deal. Even the best LDRs are difficult. So don't worry if this doesn't necessarily launch.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem
First, Leos are both busy and social people. You can't expect him to keep up the same amount of communication with you when he's in another country. Second, you've answered your own question. He was online because he's taking an online course, not because he had time to talk to you. He has a life outside of you after all.

Did you ever stop to consider that he's leaving your messages unread because he doesn't have time to respond to them yet? Maybe he wants to read them when he has time to properly respond. Would you rather him look at the messages and not respond? We both know that the answer is, no. That would probably drive you crazy. So this guy can't win either way.

In his mind he's already told you want he wants, so he's giving you the space to "think" about it. He's giving you the time that you need, but don't expect the Leo to wait around while you mull over your feelings about him. While you're "thinking" about his offer, he's pursuing his goals. It's what Leos do. If you can't handle that, then this LDR is probably not for you.

I got your point, he’s online studying a course then he shouldn’t really be online on Fb messenger... this is what got me worried.

Him inviting me to his country by justbsaying he is my new boyfriend. He didn’t even use the word we are exclusive. I wasn’t saying I’m not into him. I said I need more time for things to be more established. Let’s plan for a visit properly. I’m thinking may be sometime in July. As I have work commitment too I hope he can understand....

You'll need to relax or else your insecurities will burn this to the ground. Insecurities and LDRs don't mix. So what if he's on FB messenger? He could be chatting with other colleagues and/or online classmates. Even if he isn't, he may not want to engage you in conversation until he has the time to do so.

I personally spend multiple hours online working on my business, that doesn't mean I have the time to respond to everyone at a moment's notice. Just because people can see me online doesn't mean I'm available. I often leave messages unread until I have time to respond to them fully. It comes with being a busy person.

Also why would he use the word "exclusive" with you at this time? You told him that you needed to "think" about a relationship. To a Leo that practically sounds like a "No". Most people who say, "Let me think about it" or "Maybe" are just to nice to actually say, "No". Maybe that's not the case with you, but the Leo probably doesn't know that. To him your response sounded as if you're indecisive about him, which probably has him on guard.

Here's one thing to know. Leos are goal based people. We won't move unless we know what we're moving toward. We will create a path when we believe an opportunity merits it, but we won't act aimlessly. This means that the Leo probably won't pursue you much more until you come back with a solid answer. This is especially true due to the distance.

If you have concerns, then you need to state them clearly. Leo is not known for subtlety. I have a lot of close Virgo friends and one of the things I'll never understand is how Virgos often expect people to read their minds. Just know that how you perceive things and how this Leo perceives them are quite different.

I didn't mean to i need to think about the relationship. I said i need time to think for my trip as I need things to be more established between us. I see your point though. As he told me in his country girls take charge in relatioship I asked how? he goes the girls ask what are we now? So I asked ok what are we now? he said we are getting to know each oher.

the next day (2 days ago) he said he is my new bf and he is inviting me to a weding. I was like mmm ok 2 days ago you said we are just getting to know each other? he goes yes cos its new.

I will let him know my concern about eh trip as you adviced.

Got it, so you're moving at two different speeds then. One thing to take from this is that he's informed you about his current situation. If girls in his country are more forward (which is actually natural), that means he's probably used to that mentality. Just know that he lives in a place where women aren't shy to approach him. Granted he could just be saying that just to push you toward being more proactive toward him, but that's not entirely a bad thing.

What you now know is that he's interested, but not forceful. It's entirely up to you if you want to be with him or not. Most guys will chase a woman mindlessly to lock her down. This Leo doesn't feel compelled to do that. He wants you to have the strength to approach him. After all he's already laid out the groundwork.

Leos like direct people. We find strength and decisive behavior attractive. Once we're direct with you, we expect it back. So yeah you'll want to voice out exactly what's on your mind before deciding on that trip. Also know that if it doesn't work out, it's no big deal. Even the best LDRs are difficult. So don't worry if this doesn't necessarily launch.

click to expand

Thanks for the support, i did tell him I think this trip requires more planning which I will tell him later on the weekend when I don't have to rush to work. its convo that requires video call.

I will tell him all I want is him, not any other men. Plus all the concerns about work and where we at and how it relates to the trip etc.Also its a big risk if i buy my ticket and he meets someone else not only will I be heart broken... his country is not safe...

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

We spoke i told him about my concern about the trip, he said he is glad I'm worrying about those things cos he is too. He said for him to come back to my country he has to give up everything for me. so it has to be a solid relationship. Regarding the wedding in April he is not sure about the date he just wants me to visit lol I told him lets see how we go and for me to visit July will be better as it gives us longer to know each other.

He said he is glad I opened up and he likes this about me he said long term relationship is about problem solving together. Then his friends arrived his house and we had to end the call.

You guys were right about opening up and Leos are goal oriented. Looks like i have to keep opening up lol

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

We spoke i told him about my concern about the trip, he said he is glad I'm worrying about those things cos he is too. He said for him to come back to my country he has to give up everything for me. so it has to be a solid relationship. Regarding the wedding in April he is not sure about the date he just wants me to visit lol I told him lets see how we go and for me to visit July will be better as it gives us longer to know each other.

He said he is glad I opened up and he likes this about me he said long term relationship is about problem solving together. Then his friends arrived his house and we had to end the call.

You guys were right about opening up and Leos are goal oriented. Looks like i have to keep opening up lol

Glad you got that cleared up. Leo's are pretty good. If we're serious about you and know you're 100% committed too, there isn't much you can do or say that will scare us away. We'll work through things as long as you're trying too. Just always be honest and don't be afraid of saying something wrong. If it's real love, he'll be there through all of the ups and downs. All the moods and insecurities, right beside you.

click to expand

yea he is the first guy who is not scare of anything I tell him. I already told him I think about him all the time, he looked surprised though. May be he really thought I wasn't into him? idk lol

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

is the Virgo and Leo dynamic about the virgo lead with opening up?

After the convo i told you guys previously he is way more afectionate now and also opening up about his worries. He said he is worrying about our future, he told his brother about us. His brother told him he is worrying too much.

Then he text me at 2am his time. Saying he can't sleep and thinking of me and he prefer to see me in April if possible if May nad June are bad. So i explained to him again and also shared my worries with him.

I asked if we didn't have the misunderstanding and got into relationship before xmas.. would he still have left? he said may be notl he would have stayed in my country.

Does this mean I might have to be the first to say I love you?

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

is the Virgo and Leo dynamic about the virgo lead with opening up?

After the convo i told you guys previously he is way more afectionate now and also opening up about his worries. He said he is worrying about our future, he told his brother about us. His brother told him he is worrying too much.

Then he text me at 2am his time. Saying he can't sleep and thinking of me and he prefer to see me in April if possible if May nad June are bad. So i explained to him again and also shared my worries with him.

I asked if we didn't have the misunderstanding and got into relationship before xmas.. would he still have left? he said may be notl he would have stayed in my country.

Does this mean I might have to be the first to say I love you?

Sounds like you're jumping the gun again. You aren't even in a relationship yet, why are you worried about who will say, "I love you"? You don't "love" this guy, you're just infatuated. You still need to get to know him. Let things unfold naturally and don't be become preoccupied with the tedium. That will only backfire.

As far as the Virgo and Leo dynamic, I won't lie to you, it's not easy. As friends it's great since both signs have a very similar approach to friendship. However romantically there are some pacing issues that you'll need to be aware of too. To be brief, yes you will need to be emotionally open if you expect to keep a Leo.

First Leo is a sign of passion. We'll initiate and open doors, but we also expect our partners to keep up. Likewise we are a sign of reciprocation. So we do expect our partner to initiate from at times. If a partner is too slow opening up to us, we may get bored and leave. This won't instantly break a relationship as long as their is understanding. However once a Leo becomes too bored, we may stop caring altogether.

The issue is, while Virgos can be consistent, they may not be the most expressive with their feelings. This often leaves the Leo confused and wondering what went wrong. By the time the Virgo decides to reciprocate, the Leo may have already left thinking that the Virgo wasn't interested from the start.

The other thing is Virgo is a very friendly sign. As a result the relationship may feel more like a friendship (not terribly unlike Aquarius) than a romance. While that's not to say that Virgos can't be outwardly loving, the more sporadic displays of passions from a Virgo may not be enough to keep the Leo's fire burning. The Virgo may be preoccupied with details, work, tasks, etc and less with the frequent love energy the Leo needs.

Another issue is that Virgos tend to overthink. If the Leo isn't making advances, then often neither will the Virgo. The problem is that the Leo will be thinking that his advances were already made when he invited you out (or asked to be your boyfriend, or asked you to come see him, etc). Meanwhile you'll be preoccupied with the fact that his tone changed in his last call or that his pattern of communication changed since he last time you spoke. You'll be overly cautious and therefore unwilling to make a move back. The Leo (comparing the Virgo to more aggressive signs) will see this as disinterest and back away.

THIS is why honest communication is key between Virgo and Leo. However that being said, don't be too critical of a Leo. Leos don't like feeling ridiculed or nagged. This is where the Virgo/Leo dynamic can also fail. Focusing on mundane details aren't always our forte (unless we have Virgo in our chart), so we may overlook them at times for the bigger picture. We are a creative sign and like having the freedom to achieve our goals. We want a partner who cherishes us, not one who will constantly point out all of our flaws.

As long as you're open and not keeping things in your head, the Leo will respect and trust you. We see that type of expression as a strength, not a weakness. You don't want to become neurotic and spill out all of your fears, but honest communication here will be a good thing.

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

click to expand

Honestly even if he didn't leave the country we wouldn't have make it with his commitment phobia, the beauty of the connection between us is we always speak whats on our mind and we both listen without judging and we take on feedback positively. Also no games played between us which is rare in these days.

now with this new insight its up to him to work on himself, he said he wants to but will see if he can committ to a plan, as he coudln't commit to hobbies / career an simple decision making in his life.

Of course I miss him, life is full of fleeting beautiful memories....

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

Honestly even if he didn't leave the country we wouldn't have make it with his commitment phobia, the beauty of the connection between us is we always speak whats on our mind and we both listen without judging and we take on feedback positively. Also no games played between us which is rare in these days.

now with this new insight its up to him to work on himself, he said he wants to but will see if he can committ to a plan, as he coudln't commit to hobbies / career an simple decision making in his life.

Of course I miss him, life is full of fleeting beautiful memories....

click to expand

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I was right about him didn't commit to the plan, he hasn't been working on himself at all. At first he was sad and he only came online for once a day and everytime he did that he was checking my FB page (not personal one) Then he stay offline for over 24 hrs and now hes back he is online a lot already. pretty sure he is chatting to whomever he was to create emotional distance between him and I. Possibly a few more ppl.

I'm not sure if I should unfriend him.or just leave him there for him to see my fabulous life, as he already google my instagram all the time.. so I guess i can unfrfiend him on FB?

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

Honestly even if he didn't leave the country we wouldn't have make it with his commitment phobia, the beauty of the connection between us is we always speak whats on our mind and we both listen without judging and we take on feedback positively. Also no games played between us which is rare in these days.

now with this new insight its up to him to work on himself, he said he wants to but will see if he can committ to a plan, as he coudln't commit to hobbies / career an simple decision making in his life.

Of course I miss him, life is full of fleeting beautiful memories....

click to expand

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I was right about him didn't commit to the plan, he hasn't been working on himself at all. At first he was sad and he only came online for once a day and everytime he did that he was checking my FB page (not personal one) Then he stay offline for over 24 hrs and now hes back he is online a lot already. pretty sure he is chatting to whomever he was to create emotional distance between him and I. Possibly a few more ppl.

I'm not sure if I should unfriend him.or just leave him there for him to see my fabulous life, as he already google my instagram all the time.. so I guess i can unfrfiend him on FB?

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

Honestly even if he didn't leave the country we wouldn't have make it with his commitment phobia, the beauty of the connection between us is we always speak whats on our mind and we both listen without judging and we take on feedback positively. Also no games played between us which is rare in these days.

now with this new insight its up to him to work on himself, he said he wants to but will see if he can committ to a plan, as he coudln't commit to hobbies / career an simple decision making in his life.

Of course I miss him, life is full of fleeting beautiful memories....

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I was right about him didn't commit to the plan, he hasn't been working on himself at all. At first he was sad and he only came online for once a day and everytime he did that he was checking my FB page (not personal one) Then he stay offline for over 24 hrs and now hes back he is online a lot already. pretty sure he is chatting to whomever he was to create emotional distance between him and I. Possibly a few more ppl.

I'm not sure if I should unfriend him.or just leave him there for him to see my fabulous life, as he already google my instagram all the time.. so I guess i can unfrfiend him on FB?

click to expand

Why would you unfriend him? It's not like you two were dating and then had a bad break up. If you don't want to see his posts, then I suggest unfollowing him. Unfriending seems far too dramatic for this.

He feels rejected. This seems pretty obvious to me, he is giving you space and is probably licking wounds.

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

Honestly even if he didn't leave the country we wouldn't have make it with his commitment phobia, the beauty of the connection between us is we always speak whats on our mind and we both listen without judging and we take on feedback positively. Also no games played between us which is rare in these days.

now with this new insight its up to him to work on himself, he said he wants to but will see if he can committ to a plan, as he coudln't commit to hobbies / career an simple decision making in his life.

Of course I miss him, life is full of fleeting beautiful memories....

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I was right about him didn't commit to the plan, he hasn't been working on himself at all. At first he was sad and he only came online for once a day and everytime he did that he was checking my FB page (not personal one) Then he stay offline for over 24 hrs and now hes back he is online a lot already. pretty sure he is chatting to whomever he was to create emotional distance between him and I. Possibly a few more ppl.

I'm not sure if I should unfriend him.or just leave him there for him to see my fabulous life, as he already google my instagram all the time.. so I guess i can unfrfiend him on FB?

You dumped him and diagnosed him as a commitment phobe... so i don't understand what you expect of him now 😕

click to expand

he did the google search and he found many matching behavior and diagnose himself too, I didn't just say you have an issue

Posted by GuardianAnu
He feels rejected. This seems pretty obvious to me, he is giving you space and is probably licking wounds.

well he told me our connection scares him, yet he didn't want to lose me. I said ok so I have to go all cold? when im nice to you you are happy then get scared ok I will remove myself.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

Honestly even if he didn't leave the country we wouldn't have make it with his commitment phobia, the beauty of the connection between us is we always speak whats on our mind and we both listen without judging and we take on feedback positively. Also no games played between us which is rare in these days.

now with this new insight its up to him to work on himself, he said he wants to but will see if he can committ to a plan, as he coudln't commit to hobbies / career an simple decision making in his life.

Of course I miss him, life is full of fleeting beautiful memories....

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I was right about him didn't commit to the plan, he hasn't been working on himself at all. At first he was sad and he only came online for once a day and everytime he did that he was checking my FB page (not personal one) Then he stay offline for over 24 hrs and now hes back he is online a lot already. pretty sure he is chatting to whomever he was to create emotional distance between him and I. Possibly a few more ppl.

I'm not sure if I should unfriend him.or just leave him there for him to see my fabulous life, as he already google my instagram all the time.. so I guess i can unfrfiend him on FB?

Why would you unfriend him? It's not like you two were dating and then had a bad break up. If you don't want to see his posts, then I suggest unfollowing him. Unfriending seems far too dramatic for this.

click to expand

already unfollowed. ok i wil just leave it as it is. having said that he asked a few questions that got me look into myself.. we both have commitment issues.. i like to thank him but i don't want to send a message yet as I want to make sure im only thanking him and not becuase Im expecting more.

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu
He feels rejected. This seems pretty obvious to me, he is giving you space and is probably licking wounds.

well he told me our connection scares him, yet he didn't want to lose me. I said ok so I have to go all cold? when im nice to you you are happy then get scared ok I will remove myself.

click to expand

He probably wanted some reassurance when he admitted that but if you only said "ok" that's like, DENIED.

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu
He feels rejected. This seems pretty obvious to me, he is giving you space and is probably licking wounds.

well he told me our connection scares him, yet he didn't want to lose me. I said ok so I have to go all cold? when im nice to you you are happy then get scared ok I will remove myself.

He probably wanted some reassurance when he admitted that but if you only said "ok" that's like, DENIED.

click to expand

You can't love a CP to cure. being around them they will want to run. They need professional help, he said he wants to go to this professional. Giving him reausrrance will also make them feel suffocated as he already said he is freighten of our connection he never felt that before he said we think so similar like you can read my mind

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I ended things with him, because I spotted some of his behavior is very comittment phobe, one of the example was he kept telling me he is my boyfriend and asking me to go visit him in his country next month to be his date in a wedding. I told him it has to be July then he kept asking if I can move it forward. He said it should be 3 weeks. The distance began right after he put a label on us.

then I asked my boss for leave approval and he approved. As soon as he heard my boss approved it and he said lets make it 2 weeks. I confronted him and he said he's done this to all girls in the past. He didn't know what commitment phobia is then he looked things up online and he said he does have all the behavior that they listed on the site. He thanked me for giving this insight as he never had a clue why he does thing the way he does.

He told me he is very confused, and has been talking to his brother and best friends about me. They all told him he should come back and be with me but he is scared. Our unsual way of thinking and he feels like I can read him like a book has never happened to him before it scares him. What he wants most is what scared him. I said what your friends and family says don't matter. You have to want to come back and you have to want to work your fears out. Without working on yourself you will ended up doing this moving back and forward between 2 countries. Is this how you want to live? just escaping from one place to another?

I told him its great that he did research and found out he has commitment phobia it's the first step, but I can't cure him. I think its better we just don't talk now, after he worked himself out with a professional and I'm still single he knows where I'm at.

Good for you. No point in getting into an LDR with a person who doesn't have it together. You two didn't have enough solid history between you to warrant locking each other down like that.

Honestly even if he didn't leave the country we wouldn't have make it with his commitment phobia, the beauty of the connection between us is we always speak whats on our mind and we both listen without judging and we take on feedback positively. Also no games played between us which is rare in these days.

now with this new insight its up to him to work on himself, he said he wants to but will see if he can committ to a plan, as he coudln't commit to hobbies / career an simple decision making in his life.

Of course I miss him, life is full of fleeting beautiful memories....

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881

I was right about him didn't commit to the plan, he hasn't been working on himself at all. At first he was sad and he only came online for once a day and everytime he did that he was checking my FB page (not personal one) Then he stay offline for over 24 hrs and now hes back he is online a lot already. pretty sure he is chatting to whomever he was to create emotional distance between him and I. Possibly a few more ppl.

I'm not sure if I should unfriend him.or just leave him there for him to see my fabulous life, as he already google my instagram all the time.. so I guess i can unfrfiend him on FB?

You dumped him and diagnosed him as a commitment phobe... so i don't understand what you expect of him now 😕

click to expand

he coudln't handle our connection so I set him free, he said he wants to do something about his fear as he doens't want to live this way. He said his friends and familiy told him he should come back and be with me.

I said what they say don't matter you have to take action to sort it out or nothing is going to progress. I said if you sort things out you know where I'm at.. so balls is really in his court

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu
He feels rejected. This seems pretty obvious to me, he is giving you space and is probably licking wounds.

well he told me our connection scares him, yet he didn't want to lose me. I said ok so I have to go all cold? when im nice to you you are happy then get scared ok I will remove myself.

He probably wanted some reassurance when he admitted that but if you only said "ok" that's like, DENIED.

You can't love a CP to cure. being around them they will want to run. They need professional help, he said he wants to go to this professional. Giving him reausrrance will also make them feel suffocated as he already said he is freighten of our connection he never felt that before he said we think so similar like you can read my mind

click to expand

Sounds like somebody you should avoid.

Posted by Lioness18881
Ok this is all sounding insane now. If you have a fear about committing to each other, it's because you don't love each other. You don't love each other because you're making each other insecure with all the doubts you're pushing on him. Have you got lots of virgo pacements or something because this looks like self sabotage

We ddin't play any games with each other, im just looking back into my history, I only opened up more to him when i know hes leaving. So it was like setting myself to failure.

I have virgo in sun and mercury his lilith in Virgo

When someone tells you early on any sort of behaviors they have or feelings that are sketchy, that is their weird way of letting you know that they are a hot mess and that isn't going to change. They will just pull you through some intense push and pull and then leave you all crumpled in a heap and if you walk into that trap, it's your way of saying you will take that abuse.

Ghost that little shit.

Posted by GuardianAnu
When someone tells you early on any sort of behaviors they have or feelings that are sketchy, that is their weird way of letting you know that they are a hot mess and that isn't going to change. They will just pull you through some intense push and pull and then leave you all crumpled in a heap and if you walk into that trap, it's your way of saying you will take that abuse.

Ghost that little shit.

yes I made the right call, he is not that young. he is older than me LOL

i noticed his behavior but coudln't just write him off as I'm not professional. the only positive thing is he is open with me so now he knows his issues. i just feel disappotined when i didn't rpessure him to work on it, he was the one to tell me how much he wants to work on it. Yet he is not doing anything...

Posted by Lioness18881

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by Lioness18881
Ok this is all sounding insane now. If you have a fear about committing to each other, it's because you don't love each other. You don't love each other because you're making each other insecure with all the doubts you're pushing on him. Have you got lots of virgo pacements or something because this looks like self sabotage

We ddin't play any games with each other, im just looking back into my history, I only opened up more to him when i know hes leaving. So it was like setting myself to failure.

I have virgo in sun and mercury his lilith in Virgo

This is how i imagine virgo brains:

click to expand

haha that's funny it says every girl though. we are not like this, we are very open and nothing dramatic

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu
When someone tells you early on any sort of behaviors they have or feelings that are sketchy, that is their weird way of letting you know that they are a hot mess and that isn't going to change. They will just pull you through some intense push and pull and then leave you all crumpled in a heap and if you walk into that trap, it's your way of saying you will take that abuse.

Ghost that little shit.

yes I made the right call, he is not that young. he is older than me LOL

i noticed his behavior but coudln't just write him off as I'm not professional. the only positive thing is he is open with me so now he knows his issues. i just feel disappotined when i didn't rpessure him to work on it, he was the one to tell me how much he wants to work on it. Yet he is not doing anything...

click to expand

More than likely he will continue not doing anything.

Yet if he does, the healing process for him will put him through a lot more fear, since with therapy, it isn't like you only take positive steps forward. There are plenty of pitfalls... it's painful, it's trying, and it is up to him to sort it out. Anyone he will be involved with romantically will merely be his guinea pig, whether he acknowledges that or not, he probably likes you but he isn't scared enough to be the best he can damn well be.

If he can stop listening to his loins and just focus on healing himself for a couple of years he might improve, but I wouldn't wait around for it. You did make a good call. Now you just have to have the strength to shut him out, which is often easier said than done.

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu
When someone tells you early on any sort of behaviors they have or feelings that are sketchy, that is their weird way of letting you know that they are a hot mess and that isn't going to change. They will just pull you through some intense push and pull and then leave you all crumpled in a heap and if you walk into that trap, it's your way of saying you will take that abuse.

Ghost that little shit.

yes I made the right call, he is not that young. he is older than me LOL

i noticed his behavior but coudln't just write him off as I'm not professional. the only positive thing is he is open with me so now he knows his issues. i just feel disappotined when i didn't rpessure him to work on it, he was the one to tell me how much he wants to work on it. Yet he is not doing anything...

More than likely he will continue not doing anything.

Yet if he does, the healing process for him will put him through a lot more fear, since with therapy, it isn't like you only take positive steps forward. There are plenty of pitfalls... it's painful, it's trying, and it is up to him to sort it out. Anyone he will be involved with romantically will merely be his guinea pig, whether he acknowledges that or not, he probably likes you but he isn't scared enough to be the best he can damn well be.

If he can stop listening to his loins and just focus on healing himself for a couple of years he might improve, but I wouldn't wait around for it. You did make a good call. Now you just have to have the strength to shut him out, which is often easier said than done.

click to expand

You nailed it there, thats how I feel, even though I'm sticking with no contact I can't stop thinking about him. Yet I understand it takes 21 days to form a habit and I've been talking to him for a year for work and personal reasons..I should stop taking ppls word too seriously as he has proven himself to be a broken promise man.

He probably will prolong it cos he can never stay committed to any decision he makes. Also it's a lengthy process, even if he goes he might not stick around long enough to see the full effect. As some sessions are ground breaking and some are scratching the surface.

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu
When someone tells you early on any sort of behaviors they have or feelings that are sketchy, that is their weird way of letting you know that they are a hot mess and that isn't going to change. They will just pull you through some intense push and pull and then leave you all crumpled in a heap and if you walk into that trap, it's your way of saying you will take that abuse.

Ghost that little shit.

yes I made the right call, he is not that young. he is older than me LOL

i noticed his behavior but coudln't just write him off as I'm not professional. the only positive thing is he is open with me so now he knows his issues. i just feel disappotined when i didn't rpessure him to work on it, he was the one to tell me how much he wants to work on it. Yet he is not doing anything...

More than likely he will continue not doing anything.

Yet if he does, the healing process for him will put him through a lot more fear, since with therapy, it isn't like you only take positive steps forward. There are plenty of pitfalls... it's painful, it's trying, and it is up to him to sort it out. Anyone he will be involved with romantically will merely be his guinea pig, whether he acknowledges that or not, he probably likes you but he isn't scared enough to be the best he can damn well be.

If he can stop listening to his loins and just focus on healing himself for a couple of years he might improve, but I wouldn't wait around for it. You did make a good call. Now you just have to have the strength to shut him out, which is often easier said than done.

You nailed it there, thats how I feel, even though I'm sticking with no contact I can't stop thinking about him. Yet I understand it takes 21 days to form a habit and I've been talking to him for a year for work and personal reasons..I should stop taking ppls word too seriously as he has proven himself to be a broken promise man.

He probably will prolong it cos he can never stay committed to any decision he makes. Also it's a lengthy process, even if he goes he might not stick around long enough to see the full effect. As some sessions are ground breaking and some are scratching the surface.

click to expand

There it is. You already know what his deal is, never doubt your intuition.

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by StrawberryJam

Posted by GuardianAnu
When someone tells you early on any sort of behaviors they have or feelings that are sketchy, that is their weird way of letting you know that they are a hot mess and that isn't going to change. They will just pull you through some intense push and pull and then leave you all crumpled in a heap and if you walk into that trap, it's your way of saying you will take that abuse.

Ghost that little shit.

yes I made the right call, he is not that young. he is older than me LOL

i noticed his behavior but coudln't just write him off as I'm not professional. the only positive thing is he is open with me so now he knows his issues. i just feel disappotined when i didn't rpessure him to work on it, he was the one to tell me how much he wants to work on it. Yet he is not doing anything...

More than likely he will continue not doing anything.

Yet if he does, the healing process for him will put him through a lot more fear, since with therapy, it isn't like you only take positive steps forward. There are plenty of pitfalls... it's painful, it's trying, and it is up to him to sort it out. Anyone he will be involved with romantically will merely be his guinea pig, whether he acknowledges that or not, he probably likes you but he isn't scared enough to be the best he can damn well be.

If he can stop listening to his loins and just focus on healing himself for a couple of years he might improve, but I wouldn't wait around for it. You did make a good call. Now you just have to have the strength to shut him out, which is often easier said than done.

You nailed it there, thats how I feel, even though I'm sticking with no contact I can't stop thinking about him. Yet I understand it takes 21 days to form a habit and I've been talking to him for a year for work and personal reasons..I should stop taking ppls word too seriously as he has proven himself to be a broken promise man.

He probably will prolong it cos he can never stay committed to any decision he makes. Also it's a lengthy process, even if he goes he might not stick around long enough to see the full effect. As some sessions are ground breaking and some are scratching the surface.

There it is. You already know what his deal is, never doubt your intuition.

click to expand

yes also the credit I have to give him is he never deny anything like other boys I have dealt with. he is always open and honest, and this is what he is looking for a real connection yet this scares him.

conenction doens't mean a good partner. Just have to leave him be, if he comes back to this country, which is very likely as he has a histroy of moving between 2 countries... also CP needs contsatn change of environemnt. if he is back and has worked on himself he knows where i'm at.

Meanwhile i just have to learn to not think about him,

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881 @GuardianAnu

Spoke to him on video call, hes been reading the book and also had a coaching session and will go back for more. He was telling the truth as those things he told me were the content of the book and also can tell he worked some of the things through.

He said he feel more at home there as his parents are there, in my country he felt like he never fit in as he only have friends from his country. I asked so your decision of coming back to my country is final? he goes he can come back to my country for money but he woudln't feel at home. He said if he can't get a job in his country he will come back to mine. He added we got close towards his departure I did make him doubt his decision, but he left cos he felt lonely in my country, even he has a brother.

I told him we moved too fast, he just put a label on it too quickly and our unrealistic expectation made us jump to all the worse outcome. We should be more real and take it a day at a time. He goes yes why didn't i think of that, so he said he wants to read this new book I'm reading.

I told him since we are not in a relationship, we never had sex and we are so far away, he is free to date or sleep with others but just have to be upfront about it, so we know where each other stands. If things are going well up until June then we will decide if I'm visiting in July. He said this is so mature idk what to say. I said yea just keep being authentic with each other and take it day by day.

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881 @GuardianAnu

Spoke to him on video call, hes been reading the book and also had a coaching session and will go back for more. He was telling the truth as those things he told me were the content of the book and also can tell he worked some of the things through.

He said he feel more at home there as his parents are there, in my country he felt like he never fit in as he only have friends from his country. I asked so your decision of coming back to my country is final? he goes he can come back to my country for money but he woudln't feel at home. He said if he can't get a job in his country he will come back to mine. He added we got close towards his departure I did make him doubt his decision, but he left cos he felt lonely in my country, even he has a brother.

I told him we moved too fast, he just put a label on it too quickly and our unrealistic expectation made us jump to all the worse outcome. We should be more real and take it a day at a time. He goes yes why didn't i think of that, so he said he wants to read this new book I'm reading.

I told him since we are not in a relationship, we never had sex and we are so far away, he is free to date or sleep with others but just have to be upfront about it, so we know where each other stands. If things are going well up until June then we will decide if I'm visiting in July. He said this is so mature idk what to say. I said yea just keep being authentic with each other and take it day by day.

My advice is to let it go and find someone in your country.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by StrawberryJam
@Chuckcem @Lioness18881 @GuardianAnu

Spoke to him on video call, hes been reading the book and also had a coaching session and will go back for more. He was telling the truth as those things he told me were the content of the book and also can tell he worked some of the things through.

He said he feel more at home there as his parents are there, in my country he felt like he never fit in as he only have friends from his country. I asked so your decision of coming back to my country is final? he goes he can come back to my country for money but he woudln't feel at home. He said if he can't get a job in his country he will come back to mine. He added we got close towards his departure I did make him doubt his decision, but he left cos he felt lonely in my country, even he has a brother.

I told him we moved too fast, he just put a label on it too quickly and our unrealistic expectation made us jump to all the worse outcome. We should be more real and take it a day at a time. He goes yes why didn't i think of that, so he said he wants to read this new book I'm reading.

I told him since we are not in a relationship, we never had sex and we are so far away, he is free to date or sleep with others but just have to be upfront about it, so we know where each other stands. If things are going well up until June then we will decide if I'm visiting in July. He said this is so mature idk what to say. I said yea just keep being authentic with each other and take it day by day.

My advice is to let it go and find someone in your country.

click to expand

already started looking have a first date tonight. That's why i suggested he is free to sleep with others, if he ask I will be honest about it. He should be mature enough to handle this. Meanwhile I like to keep talking to him as this connection is beautiful I'm not sure if I want to cut it entirely

@Chuckcem @Lioness18881 @GuardianAnu

always trust your intution, even we resumed contact and he told me about the work he's done with his psycholgist and such. I sensed something is not right, I confronted him of having someone else before I broke up with him he said yes and no. He started considering a friend from the past but he hasn't is not chasing her as he is now aware he is comittment phobe.I said you did hang out with her alone right? he goes wasn't planned just that other ppl ddin't turn up.. yeah right..

he said is not sure why he even consider he as she is not really attractive,he said he is not sure about what he wants but if he wants someone local he should look locally. He said he just doesn't want to be alone. He added his feelings for me has shut down since I dumped him last week, so now he can't switch it back on. But he is not sure why and not sure why he considers the new person. he goes noen of the grils in my country are nearly as attractive as you are, we have attraction and connection but idk why I can't feel it for you now.

He goes our issue is distance, i said if the relationship was right i would then consider relocating. I'm not relocating for someone who said we are in a relationship and already starting moving onto someone else.

He goes what you would consider relocating? you didn't tell me before. this is a hard decision can I talk to my therapist?

His facebook remains normal but he deleted his whatsaapp account, I knkow he dind't block me as he just disappear from contact list. and same for other who has his number.

the issue is not distance, its his intergrity so he locked me down to be in realtionship with him while considinrg other ppl. Then he will jsut repeat this with many other ppl. As I knew he would have somsone in the past as commitment phobe often cheat with ppl from their past. At least he is honest when I confront him. Done and dusted finally can cut all ties.