Advice getting back in my Libra’s good graces

Don't be needy.

Posted by Quadeca

Don't be needy.

Agreed...I got insecure about the girl he was texting and became needy.

I didn’t see it at the time but now that I had time to think about everything I see it

Posted by GenerousLibra

Posted by Untitled23

This is a long one:

I met my Libra in Nov ‘18...at the gym...

We have started seeing each other regularly since then. We had already discussed marriage and kids, though he already has 3 and I 1 we both basically said we thought about having a kid together. Obviously not a real plan but anyways. He started acting shady and I sensed it had to do with someone else peaking his interest and I became extremely insecure. I found evidence in his phone we fought about it and from that night things went steadily downhill. And they hit a breaking point the other day. See the person he was pursuing I had actually offered a job [we both know her]. Him and I agreed to move past it he apologized expressed that he was just flirting and that he did want to be with me. However when the girl and I met to discuss the job he came up.

See she knew he and I were dating and there was this awkward air between her and I and so we talked about it to clear the air. I mean I can’t hire someone that I have this awkward tension with. In any event she told me some things that had me a little upset and so I brought it up to my Libra. Not in the best way either but I hindsight is 20/20. We were otw to the mall and I blurted out guess who I had coffee with before this. He guessed wrong and then I told him and blurted our what she had said. He shut down didn’t wanna talk which made me feel really nervous. I sat in the car and tried to get him to talk it out with me I didn’t wanna drive home like that. He refused to speak to me and said we were done. I’ve had some time to reflect on things and I see this was a HORRIBLE way to even broach the subject but even more him and o had already agreed to move past it and so I should never have even done this.

In any event he blocked me on a WhatsApp [we used to video message through there]. I reached out via text apologizing and acknowledging my wrong doing. He hasn’t responded to any texts and now I suspect maybe I’m blocked but I’m not certain. He is known to ignore texts....He has also stopped going to the gym at the same time as me. 😞

I don’t want this to be the end though I mean we both saw a possibility of marriage said we loved each other and now this...I truly care for him I’m still in love with him. I want to respect his space but I also want him to know that I’m sorry that I acknowledge my wrong doing. And I want to mend things between us 😢. How do I do this?

May I ask about your placements? What is ur sign? If you don't mind

click to expand

Gemini/Cancer cuspy is my sun sign

Born June 23rd but I truly am a cusp sign I exhibit traits of both

it may have been not an ideal way to talk about it but were you justified in feeling the way you did? what did this other woman have to say?

Posted by jeane

it may have been not an ideal way to talk about it but were you justified in feeling the way you did? what did this other woman have to say?

She confirmed it was nothing...

I wasn’t even looking for confirmation from her I wanted to just clear the air Bc we’d seen each other since I found out and it was awkward and we get along well so I just wanted to diffuse the awkward tension.

But in the process she showed me all their texts and I realized he was definitely flirting.

But again we had moved past it so I get why he was upset. In addition to HOW I even brought it up.

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

it may have been not an ideal way to talk about it but were you justified in feeling the way you did? what did this other woman have to say?

She confirmed it was nothing...

I wasn’t even looking for confirmation from her I wanted to just clear the air Bc we’d seen each other since I found out and it was awkward and we get along well so I just wanted to diffuse the awkward tension.

But in the process she showed me all their texts and I realized he was definitely flirting.

But again we had moved past it so I get why he was upset. In addition to HOW I even brought it up.

click to expand

hmm...going with tiz on this one. his reaction does seem extreme. i'd like to believe that if we are invested then we're going to do our best to work it out and put any hurt feelings/awkwardness behind us. if he has blocked you and is actively avoiding you, there's not much you can do. sounds like he is trying to avoid his awkwardness by just avoiding you entirely.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

it may have been not an ideal way to talk about it but were you justified in feeling the way you did? what did this other woman have to say?

She confirmed it was nothing...

I wasn’t even looking for confirmation from her I wanted to just clear the air Bc we’d seen each other since I found out and it was awkward and we get along well so I just wanted to diffuse the awkward tension.

But in the process she showed me all their texts and I realized he was definitely flirting.

But again we had moved past it so I get why he was upset. In addition to HOW I even brought it up.

hmm...going with tiz on this one. his reaction does seem extreme. i'd like to believe that if we are invested then we're going to do our best to work it out and put any hurt feelings/awkwardness behind us. if he has blocked you and is actively avoiding you, there's not much you can do. sounds like he is trying to avoid his awkwardness by just avoiding you entirely.

click to expand

I guess what im looking for answers on is how do Librans perferr others to respond in conflict...

I have sent a bunchh of messages explaining my actions, apologizing, taking responsibility and expressing how much i miss him and asking if we can ever be on good terms again. None of them got a response which tells me he is either weighing his decision, or i am blocked. BUT should i see him agian is it best i stay away and give him ample space? Should i continue to reach out and express my regret and let him know that he is missed greatly?

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

it may have been not an ideal way to talk about it but were you justified in feeling the way you did? what did this other woman have to say?

She confirmed it was nothing...

I wasn’t even looking for confirmation from her I wanted to just clear the air Bc we’d seen each other since I found out and it was awkward and we get along well so I just wanted to diffuse the awkward tension.

But in the process she showed me all their texts and I realized he was definitely flirting.

But again we had moved past it so I get why he was upset. In addition to HOW I even brought it up.

hmm...going with tiz on this one. his reaction does seem extreme. i'd like to believe that if we are invested then we're going to do our best to work it out and put any hurt feelings/awkwardness behind us. if he has blocked you and is actively avoiding you, there's not much you can do. sounds like he is trying to avoid his awkwardness by just avoiding you entirely.

I guess what im looking for answers on is how do Librans perferr others to respond in conflict...

I have sent a bunchh of messages explaining my actions, apologizing, taking responsibility and expressing how much i miss him and asking if we can ever be on good terms again. None of them got a response which tells me he is either weighing his decision, or i am blocked. BUT should i see him agian is it best i stay away and give him ample space? Should i continue to reach out and express my regret and let him know that he is missed greatly?

click to expand

i'd prefer others to respond exactly as you have done. should you see him again, just behave normally.

regardless of sign, don't let someone, anyone, disrespect you. you deserve an explanation for being ignored. don't let him off the hook with that. you reached out. he gave you the brush off. if you see him again, just stay steady and friendly but don't be afraid to ask what the fuck man?

personally, i like to be called out. if my partner doesn't call me out on my shit then a) i lose respect for him and then as a consequence b) behaviour gets worse and resent him for that.

everyone needs to know where the line is.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

it may have been not an ideal way to talk about it but were you justified in feeling the way you did? what did this other woman have to say?

She confirmed it was nothing...

I wasn’t even looking for confirmation from her I wanted to just clear the air Bc we’d seen each other since I found out and it was awkward and we get along well so I just wanted to diffuse the awkward tension.

But in the process she showed me all their texts and I realized he was definitely flirting.

But again we had moved past it so I get why he was upset. In addition to HOW I even brought it up.

hmm...going with tiz on this one. his reaction does seem extreme. i'd like to believe that if we are invested then we're going to do our best to work it out and put any hurt feelings/awkwardness behind us. if he has blocked you and is actively avoiding you, there's not much you can do. sounds like he is trying to avoid his awkwardness by just avoiding you entirely.

I guess what im looking for answers on is how do Librans perferr others to respond in conflict...

I have sent a bunchh of messages explaining my actions, apologizing, taking responsibility and expressing how much i miss him and asking if we can ever be on good terms again. None of them got a response which tells me he is either weighing his decision, or i am blocked. BUT should i see him agian is it best i stay away and give him ample space? Should i continue to reach out and express my regret and let him know that he is missed greatly?

i'd prefer others to respond exactly as you have done. should you see him again, just behave normally.

regardless of sign, don't let someone, anyone, disrespect you. you deserve an explanation for being ignored. don't let him off the hook with that. you reached out. he gave you the brush off. if you see him again, just stay steady and friendly but don't be afraid to ask what the fuck man?

personally, i like to be called out. if my partner doesn't call me out on my shit then a) i lose respect for him and then as a consequence b) behaviour gets worse and resent him for that.

everyone needs to know where the line is.

click to expand

Agreed but I was in the wrong here and crossed a line. In addition he said we were done...so I’m trying to figure out how to work things out...

Something tells me if I give him grief about ignoring me that wouldn’t be the best approach.

I wonder of people ever read the shit they themselves write about “how to get my man back” on here.

Can you please re-read and explain to me again why you want this loser back?

Why would you place your dignity to the side, to work things out, with someone who has stated that he was done with you? How does that work? Stop. Please. Sometimes you just have to move on. Go through the rough patches, with your head held high and move on. He initially started shading you by pulling back and flirting with another. So.....seems to me, he initiated a lot of the fallout #shrugs

So no, giving him grief is the same as begging, thus, I agree. It would NOT be the best approach. SMH

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

Posted by Untitled23

Posted by jeane

it may have been not an ideal way to talk about it but were you justified in feeling the way you did? what did this other woman have to say?

She confirmed it was nothing...

I wasn’t even looking for confirmation from her I wanted to just clear the air Bc we’d seen each other since I found out and it was awkward and we get along well so I just wanted to diffuse the awkward tension.

But in the process she showed me all their texts and I realized he was definitely flirting.

But again we had moved past it so I get why he was upset. In addition to HOW I even brought it up.

hmm...going with tiz on this one. his reaction does seem extreme. i'd like to believe that if we are invested then we're going to do our best to work it out and put any hurt feelings/awkwardness behind us. if he has blocked you and is actively avoiding you, there's not much you can do. sounds like he is trying to avoid his awkwardness by just avoiding you entirely.

I guess what im looking for answers on is how do Librans perferr others to respond in conflict...

I have sent a bunchh of messages explaining my actions, apologizing, taking responsibility and expressing how much i miss him and asking if we can ever be on good terms again. None of them got a response which tells me he is either weighing his decision, or i am blocked. BUT should i see him agian is it best i stay away and give him ample space? Should i continue to reach out and express my regret and let him know that he is missed greatly?

i'd prefer others to respond exactly as you have done. should you see him again, just behave normally.

regardless of sign, don't let someone, anyone, disrespect you. you deserve an explanation for being ignored. don't let him off the hook with that. you reached out. he gave you the brush off. if you see him again, just stay steady and friendly but don't be afraid to ask what the fuck man?

personally, i like to be called out. if my partner doesn't call me out on my shit then a) i lose respect for him and then as a consequence b) behaviour gets worse and resent him for that.

everyone needs to know where the line is.

Agreed but I was in the wrong here and crossed a line. In addition he said we were done...so I’m trying to figure out how to work things out...

Something tells me if I give him grief about ignoring me that wouldn’t be the best approach.

click to expand

i can only give you my opinion. ultimately you have to use your own judgement. besides, it's not about giving him grief, it's explaining that you too are deserving of respect.

in my experience its everyone's responsibility to teach others how they wish to be treated. by not mentioning it, you're in effect saying its ok for him to ignore you.

I don't see where you did anything really wrong other than telling him what the chick told you. I'm a Libra and when I break it off with someone, the problem has already been weighed on the scales, and I mean it when I say it's over. I do not want to be pursued further. I don't know what your boyfriends placements are other than a Libra sun; but you can't get more Libra than me and when I'm done it's over. Whatever you do stop apologizing and begging him back as he will quickly lose respect for you. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he does want to at least sleep with that girl and was angry with you because you talked to her about him and may have messed up his chance. At any rate his actions are not that of a man who is in love, ready to marry and have kids. You would do best when he does or if he gets back in touch with you to tell him to go kick rocks. Be sure that now you have given him the power in your relationship because you are apologizing to him when he should be apologizing to you.