Am I crazy?

I log into facebook, and I see my mother-in-law family post a professionally done family portrait with my children in it. I was just taken aback at the implications, and was more annoyed at the fact that they didn't ask me. Asked the husband about it, he said they asked him and he didn't think it was that big of a deal.

He says that people(namely my family) watch our children and take pictures of the children all the time and post them on facebook. It isn't any different.

Am I crazy?

Do I have to explain the difference between a candid shot with a camara phone and a professionally done photograph (im talking matching outfits, lighting, etc.)??

If MY family had done the exact same thing I would have the same response....why are they taking a family portrait without the parents in the picture? What are they trying to say? Do they not care about the parent's feelings??

ugh. ANd it's like not even the picture i'm more mad about its the fact that he didn't ask me and no one cared how I felt.

At this point he thinks i'm singling his family out and I'm being unfair..which is ridiculous....I don't even know how to explain it to him anymore. And none of my family would think to do something like that.

So what do ya'll think....am I wrong to be annoyed about it? If i'm not wrong, how can I make him understand because direct communication isn't helping at all.

I kind of want to say....

"Hey, my family wants to baptize our children, it isn't a big deal. People who watch our children, give them baths all the time...it's no different."

No you're not crazy at all, yes it's a crappy way of excluding you but then on the other hand they (the Grandparents) really wanted this to be about them and the kids and not about you and your feelings, I kind of have a gut feeling they expected this kind of reaction and just wanted to avoid that altogether so they went through your spouse for permission plus they are most likely old school and believe the man is the head of the household and that's who they should get permission from, if he says it's okay then it's okay. So many angles to see your situation from despite how you feel, although I do feel they should have included you in the asking process, I don't know your history with them, maybe they don't feel you're going to make this easy for them, I dunno and to be clear I'm just speculating, I'm not accusing you of being difficult, just throwing out a different perspective.

I'd say choose your battles sparingly, it's so close the holidays and it's not really worth a big fuss, definitely your problem is with your husband, so maybe you'll have to do some passive aggressive suggesting behind his back on your own to see how he reacts to that or you can just drop it, make it clear to him you're not happy about what he did and to not allow it to happen again.

I don't understand where the hurt feelings come from, at least not from the info provided here. TBS, you always seemed real sensable before and I'm sure there's more to it... but it is just a picture of grandparents and grandchildren.

If grandma is anti picture and normall avoids them, yes this would be odd. If she is anything like all the grandmoms I ever known, they all want pictures of their grandkids. It is good to be a grandparent, you get to have fun with them and then send them home.

To me, yes you would have to explain the difference with a camera phone picture and a walmart photoshop 'experience'. If you are okay with one why not the other? They had a few extra dollars and get joy out of a nice picture with their grandkids.

Oh! It might also be weird if granny was wearing a world best mom shirt or something.

Now if the pics had every other family member except you, there might be just course to be upset, However, this isn't the case...

Over reacting... why do you really feel hurt by this?

I think you're being a tad sensitive about all this, just like you have been in the past about the in laws. Get a grip on the insecurities. Grandma is allowed to get a pic of the grandkids.

Should they have asked you or should it have been mentioned? Probably. No need to get butthurt about it. It's all good. Let grandma enjoy her grandkids.

Posted by sweethearts
Now if the pics had every other family member except you, there might be just course to be upset, However, this isn't the case...

Over reacting... why do you really feel hurt by this?

It was a FAMILY picture with EVERYONE in the family EXCEPT me and my husband.

I don't really feel like explaining it anymore..it's just a matter if you feel that way or you don't.

In-laws...I always refer to them as outlaws! Who knows why they do what they do...whether to upset you or because they are oblivious to your feelings...all I've learnt is is better to turn a blind eye.

My sis in law will not under any circumstances come to my home, Christmas this year is at mine and even though she's invited she won't come and my brother , niece and nephew miss out as well...we'll have fun though 🙂

Posted by sweethearts
In-laws...I always refer to them as outlaws! Who knows why they do what they do...whether to upset you or because they are oblivious to your feelings...all I've learnt is is better to turn a blind eye.

I have not and will never mention this conversation to them. I don't dislike my in-laws, but I can't shake that the feeling that if someone had done half the things they've done to me, they would be cursing that person out, or make a big fuss about it. But they'll turn right around and not think two seconds about doing it to me..I don't understand that mindset. And I posted because I want people's feedback to see how others feel about it or whether I'm just over-thinking things, which I admit, I have a tendency to do. So, thanks everyone.

TBS you probably received the best advice here on the libra board.. Every idea has been stretched to fit your example you gave..

Another point to note: Taurus and Libra really think differently... it might be a small matter to him.. Libras a bit more of a social sign, this might cross your mind more than it crossed his

I feel you on this one! It's one of those inexplicable feelings you get when something just does not seem quite right. You're not crazy!

Posted by spica
TBS you probably received the best advice here on the libra board.. Every idea has been stretched to fit your example you gave..

Another point to note: Taurus and Libra really think differently... it might be a small matter to him.. Libras a bit more of a social sign, this might cross your mind more than it crossed his

I know, and I appreciate it deeply.

He's a Taurus with an aquarius moon...i'm finding EVERYTHING is a small matter to him.