Dealing with my kids Libra dad without killing him

Sometimes we are cool and sometimes we are not. It generally starts when I once again make it clear that we are not going to get back together. (its been three years) When I do that he stops seeing the kids. It hurts me because it hurts them. They get all worked up to see him again and then he stops calling for months because he says I'm the one causing the problem 😢 over and over I've vowed not to let them see him again but they get so worked up when he calls.

And yes I Know that isnt about astrology all the time but maybe I can get some insight as to how to deal with him without hurting his feelings and keeping my sanity and all that would help. I like hearing other people's point of view. here are his placements.

Sun Libra
Moon Libra
Mercury Libra
Venus Scorpio
Mars Scorpio
Jupiter Leo
Saturn Virgo
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra

oooh, thats alot of libra. Is he slighty ditzy and space-ish by any chance?

I wouldn't say ditzyish but extremely indecisive. He would sit on the fence about of a lot of things and it would drive me crazy!!! He loved to party alot. He focused more on his mother, clubbin, and clothes which is why we broke up. He stayed in the mirror more than me. Me I checked for the occasional bugger before I left out the door whereas he had to make sure his outfit matched his shoes lol We would have arguments that would ruin a whole day. I always felt like I was talkin to a brick wall

LOL! Sounds like a true blue libra....their very into themselves.
Aries and libras are opposites, so Im sure you two frustrated one another to no end.


My libra friend is frustrating the hell out of me, atm. lol

I'm Libra and sometimes I can be that way, my way or no way. He just needs to move on and find someone that completes him and then he'll be more stable with the kids. Someone or something needs to be present for libras to react. But I must say WE LIBRAS DON'T DIE WE MULTIPLY!!!!!

Are you dating someone else, is he, or tell him that you and a friend (don't say male or female) or doing something with the kids. Don't be available for his every phone call. He will be around (probably hiding in the bushes) because we are nosey as hell when the attention is not focus on us.

Well usually a libra find's his wife more important than his kids
Must i , been a libra men myself , be in the same situation like him i would react the same
The only reason i would bond myself to the kids is to get closer to my wife
I don't think i can love kids of a woman that doesn't want me

I also have quit a lot of libra in my chart

Sun Libra
Moon Taurus
Mercury Scorpio
Venus Libra
Mars Libra
Jupiter Aries
Satrun Sagittarius
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Leo
Asc node Aries

"I don't think i can love kids of a woman that doesn't want me"


That's really fucking sad 😢😢


Honeypot .. here's how I would look at this situation ...


If this man doesn't WANT to love his kids, and participate in making a quality life for his kids benefit ... then his care for them isn't real.

Children learn from us, right? So, if the kids are exposed to the pretending of feelings on the superficial level to gain something in return .. then they won't learn how to love completely. Just because they are children, it doesn't mean they are stupid when it comes to relationships. It may be at this moment that they cannot decipher Libra man's feelings as being non-existant without your love for him .. but, in time, they will understand this, and they will RESENT you for it.

Once they reach more maturity, they will come back to you say, "Mom, you knew that Dad didn't love us, you knew he didn't want us .. why did you let him influence us like that". Teenagers defy because they don't understand why they aren't taken seriously, why their feelings aren't valued .... that's the ONLY reason why teenagers defy thier parents. For IF parents valued their word, and their integrity, then there would be no reason to be in opposition, would there? If parents valued thier integrity then these teenagers would feel like they had a support system with their parents .. and that would encourage them to be harmonious with their family.

The whole point is .... if this man doesn't WANT to LOVE his children, and if you allow him to be present in their lives to SHOW them through his treatment of them that he doesn't want to love his children ... then in essence, this is causing more psychologocial damage to them then if they had no father at all.


Have you any idea what it's like to know you have a parent who hates you? It is life-altering, they could actually be emotional damaged from it for the rest of their lives.

The only way they could be getting all excited about thier father calling (if his contact is random) .. is by YOU perpetuating their emotions to get excited. If you get them worked up, then they will be.

For what? Why do this?

So, they can be let down by their dad?

Why abuse their feelings like that anyway?

These are children .. not adults.

If their father isn't interested in loving them ... then what the fuck are you giving them this kind of hope for?

So they can crash and burn?

Okay, "Up" your time is Up! Love for your wife and love for your kids is two different kinds of love. It's hard for this dude to be around the kids at the moment because he wants the entire package like it once was. Remember libra (scales)this change has him unbalanced but he will get over it.

"Well usually a libra find's his wife more important than his kids
Must i , been a libra men myself , be in the same situation like him i would react the same
The only reason i would bond myself to the kids is to get closer to my wife
I don't think i can love kids of a woman that doesn't want me
"



I actually read this before in one of those astro passages. I know a few libra men who dont want kids at all. There kinda selfish with affection.

The answer is to cut dad out of the kids life ..... no contact.

Tell dad that when the day comes that he can, and wants to interact with the children because he loves them and this is what he desires to do because he loves them, for them ...... then contact will be reinstated.


If you say this to him, and then allow him access anyway .. then the only thing you'll be accomplishing is keeping him off-balance because your words are NOT in accordance with your actions.

WHERE IN DA HELL IS HONEYPOT!?!?!!?! Is she reading this FREE good advice or is she talking to the EX now. lol

OH HHHOOONNNEEEYYYPPPOOOTTT!!!!! LOL

"A good friend's mom pulled that, because his dad wasn't showing up on time, wasn't participating as his mom saw fit, and my friend hasn't seen his dad in over twenty years. You just don't do that."


Your story only PROVES that it's the right decision, Aquuaa ... for if this man REALLY LOVED his child, then he would have NEVER abandoned them.

One can NOT make another love their child, nor make them not love them .. and if putting him on the spot about it caused him to abandon the children .. then he never loved her in the first place. And if he never loved her in the first place, then being out of her life was the best case scenerio rather than presenting to her superficial love.

"Unless he was physically or mentally or emotionally abusive I won't tell him he can't see his kids.."


I agree with you Starfish .. however, when I posted this comment ..

"Tell dad that when the day comes that he can, and wants to interact with the children because he loves them and this is what he desires to do because he loves them, for them ...... then contact will be reinstated." ....... it was referencing that dad was indeed emotionally abusing his children because he would abandon them with contact for prolonged periods of time if he was pissed off at mom.

That IS abuse ... and the only way to stop it is to stop contact completely and tell him that when the day comes that he WANTS to have a relationship with his kids because he LOVES them, is the day he will be allowed to.


If you had children (which you do), and thier dad continually disappointed them and tore their hearts up because he would forsake them every time he was pissed off at you = taking his anger of you out on the children by forskaing them ... then certainly you would discontinue him the opportunity of hurting them again.


don't take my meaning out of context to believe I was saying that this woman should just strike this man out of the kids life for no reason.

Their hearts are dependent upon the mother for nurturing in this situation and if the father is hurting them emotionally by neglecting them when he is angry at her .... then that is not loving his children, that is using his children as a pawn to get to the mother.

Yes I am reading this lol and thank you. Its really hard for me to cut him off from them because I know how they feel about him but I'm really working on it. Yes I'm still seeing some one I've been seeing the Aqua for 3 years. He knows about the whole situation and has been very good and patient with it. He was feeling a bit insecure about the situation but after 3 years he knows there is nothing to worry about. The libra knows I'm seeing someone but he never asks if I am. Its just been assumed. When he asks when will we get back together I say I don't know that I'm very happy with my life at this point. What I really want to say is we will never get back together and to just leave me alone. Little by little I hint at having someone else because frankly I'm sick of it. I shouldn't have to do that. I should be able to talk about whom I'm seeing freely. If it wasn't for the boys I would be much more vocal by now. My father gave me the same advice ( An Aries with Cap moon lol) that P-Angel has given me. I feel it is the right thing to do-when I think about it without emotion. I don't want me or my kids to feel the constant stress of whether he's having an okay day or a bad day. I've already told him one day that I was sick of his ups and downs because he can't get what he wants. I really got angry with him and told him regardless of whether he has a conflict with me that he has a choice to either see the kids on a regular bases or not at all . So far he's been cool we will have to see...I think I'm on my last hanging thread with him.

"that is using his children as a pawn to get to the mother"

and this is exactly the feeling I get. Frustrates me to now end.

"Sounds as though he has all or nothing thinking (black and white thinking)."

Thats exactly how he is

sounds like he's being passive aggressive, but his kids damn!

Venus and Marus conjunction so he must have been irresistable sexually but this conjunction is in potentially sadistic Scorpio so uhhhh I dunno what this feels like other than he is playing mind games with you.

Its possible that the two of you are playing mind games against each other > he craves intimacy > you don't wan't him no more and so he is intrested in hurting his kids > this is bad as hell good luck and good night.

the immaturity and mind games is why we broke up. The beginning of the end came when he was afraid of me leaving him so he hid all of my clothes that he thought I looked nice in because he was afraid I'd wear them with other men. I found out he was going through my things like crazy women do who don't trust their men. He was throwing away phone numbers of friends of mine and the craziest was reordering a detailed listing of my home phone bill so he could see who I was calling and who was calling me. That was a no no. I don't have to worry about any of that with my Aqua. He really does respect my space. I can actually breathe now lol. I'm seriously leaning towards not letting him see them. He's too adamant in his actions. He puts on his best behavior a little while but It always reverts back.

I doubt that I'll deal with another Libra again.

my kids father is a libra. he makes me nuts. he spends and spends. he calls the kids on sundays and he sends them money for childsupport. but then he spends his money up then says he wants to see them but he is broke...when i tell him he cant stay he got mad.... I have tried everything with my kids libra dad. but he will not chnge his way. he says I am his problem because I will not shut up....so I am going to leave him alone and see what happens. he suppose to come see the kids next month sometime. and gues what he has to stay here because he cant afford a hotel. so we will see.

Man screw mars in Scorpio lol ( My current guy has this placement-why I go for this I don't know) I know him very well. He just called me a million times while I was at work on my cell trying to get back with me. I don't know wtf is his problem but I got tired of the begging and just hung up in his face. I feel like its a cycle of BS.

Your story is a rerun of my ex husband. Sigh.....

He will always be in your life. You have children together. I only talk to him as it relates to our daughter. She is 5 so she can speak to him directly. No need for much contact between he and I. We are mostly cool now especially since he has a gf. I am happy now he has slacked off of getting on my nerve!!!! LOL!!!