Do Librans hold grudges?

My best mate, who I??ve known for 24 years, is a Libra. In March my GF of 8.5 years split up with me. My best mate is still bitter toward her about this. I??ve moved on and found a wonderful new partner but my best mate still hates my ex for what she did to me. Personally I don't care. I'm in a better place now and actually feel quite sorry for my ex because I know for a fact that life isn't working out well for her. My best mate is dying for a chance to give her a piece of his mind, but personally I wouldn't bother. What has happened has happened and I see no point in dwelling on the past, especially when my future is so bright. So, is it normal for Librans to want revenge like this or is his bitterness more because he cares about me? I'm Virgo on the cusp of Libra but I feel no desire to gain revenge.

Oh yes, we hold grudges! But that situation seems kind of wierd....Perhaps he dislikes her for some other reason unknown to you?! Maybe you should tell him where you stand that should resolve everything! : )

i don't hold many grudges on people who've done things to me. i'm wary of them. usually i'll blame myself for letting them do whatever to hurt me.

but if somebody hurts someone i care about, they're basically on my shitlist.

we're very protective of those we care about.

i'd always assumed the intense grudges i hold have more to do with my scorpio influence (mercury conj pluto, as well as venus and saturn). do you know if your friend has a lot of scorpio in his chart?

Firstly, it is really strange your libra mate holds the grudge FOR you. IMO, Librans don't usually hold grudges for something that did not personally affect them. They are self absorbed that way, because theyve got little energy for everything. Either spread out too thin, or placed somewhere important to THEM. Thus, your situation is fishy in itself. Perhaps it concerns him somewhat. Or that he really cares about you. But usually, he wouldn't take your burden, especially in relationships.

And "revenge" is not seen as such in a Libra-type mindset. It is more like a "balance". Your Libra friend probably knows that she will get back her dues somehow. His "grudge" is just there to show it is not forgotten.

You can be sure that if it is true injustice Libra will be angered. Because the world should be fair. To me, the world is still fair, if I can rationalise it away, I am satisfied. Thos that I can't, I'll make sure I rectify it somehow, or keep tabs to see karma in action. The world needs to prove it is fair, and it usually does. Libra likes to see karma turn it's wheel.

Of course saturn and pluto plays a part to intensify that streak.

Posted by curious visitor
i don't hold many grudges on people who've done things to me. i'm wary of them. usually i'll blame myself for letting them do whatever to hurt me.

but if somebody hurts someone i care about, they're basically on my shitlist.

we're very protective of those we care about.

i'd always assumed the intense grudges i hold have more to do with my scorpio influence (mercury conj pluto, as well as venus and saturn). do you know if your friend has a lot of scorpio in his chart?

This.

I'm usually very rational when it comes to myself and don't really take offense to people hurting me. Hurt someone I love DEMON girl. I am a total mother hen. I am tiny but have run grown men down and had them thrown in jail on behalf of a friend, something I would never have done on my own behalf. I have no problem standing up for the people I believe in. My rooomie, also Libra, is the same. Pretty much ever libra girl I know is this way, now that I think about it. One of my libra best buds even threw herself in front of a crazy street person who was trying to hurt another woman she did know.

I am more likely to be this way for others than myself though.

i was thinking about this the other day, and i realized it has less to do with hurting those i love and more to do with my intense need for the world to be fair. i demand justice, dammit!

one time a guy hit my bumper and drove off. i followed him for about 5 miles, bumper scraping against the road. got his plate. called the cops. he could've just exchanged insurance info and been off. instead i called the cops and he got caught on a dui. his windows were too tinted to see him. if i had, he would've got leaving the scene too. i mean, he had five miles to stop. and the only reason i let him go was because he was taking one ways the wrong direction and running lights and shit. dude was serious about getting away. but it's like dude, i saw your plate. don't be so stupid.

it was fair. and i was happy.

Whether or not we hold a grudge depends on what exactly they did example: When I found out my ex cheated on me....I simply stopped talking to him for about two years. I didn't break up with him nor did I make a scene.....I simply acted as tho he didn't exist because in my world he didn't. I can't speak for all libras but I know when I've been hurt I never let the offending party see my pain no matter how deep. My reason for this is if they were horrid enough to hurt me then I'm horrid enough to make it look like you're insignificant and inconsequential.

Posted by curious visitor
i was thinking about this the other day, and i realized it has less to do with hurting those i love and more to do with my intense need for the world to be fair. i demand justice, dammit!

one time a guy hit my bumper and drove off. i followed him for about 5 miles, bumper scraping against the road. got his plate. called the cops. he could've just exchanged insurance info and been off. instead i called the cops and he got caught on a dui. his windows were too tinted to see him. if i had, he would've got leaving the scene too. i mean, he had five miles to stop. and the only reason i let him go was because he was taking one ways the wrong direction and running lights and shit. dude was serious about getting away. but it's like dude, i saw your plate. don't be so stupid.

it was fair. and i was happy.

If I were you I'd sue him for the damage to the car, the gas used to chase him down, and punitive damages......but that's just me.....But for his drunk a $ $ your bumper would still be in tact and you'd have more gas then you have now....

Libras CAN be very bitterly & very revengeful in the moment, BUT part of the reason it's not uncommon to see a Libra still holding communication with those from their past is because it's uncommon for them to hold grudges for long periods of time. But from what you've shared, it sounds like your best friend might be a little more mad than necessary. And of course it could be for plenty of reasons: 1. Libras care deeply about their best friends, thus when their friends are hurt it's almost like they themselves are just as hurt 2. Like someone said earlier, there may be other unknown (to you) reasons that your best friend is more angrier than you about your ex. If this is the case, I suggest finding out where the source of all that anger is. Who knows, some people find it easier to bring out their true insecurities through the situations their best friends face, moreso than the experiences they, themselves face. 3. Your best friend could be more angry at you for not being as angry/revengeful as he feels you should be, considering the circumstances b/w you & your ex. Either way it goes, what you go through is what YOU go through. Anytime other people, outside of the situation lose more sleep than the 2 people who were actually INVOLVED, there's a big problem. Maybe you ought to have a talk with your best friend & find out if all this anger towards your ex even has anything to do with your ex. You'd be suprised, his grudge may not even have anything to do with her. Yes, Libras are protective of their loves ones, but they are not SO protective that years later, they are still the main ones to want revenge over someone else's situation, especially if the main person (you) has already moved on

"Libras care deeply about their best friends, thus when their friends are hurt it's almost like they themselves are just as hurt"

I feel a need to comment on this statement. I feel that it is not quite accurate here. Libras are not feelers. They process situations cognitively. When friends hurt, they don't FEEL the hurt, but they do alot of things, thoughtful things, to hopefully make the other person feel better.
I think the key word is 'connection'. The closest I could ever feel for a girlfriend was a fellow Libra. The rest just go over my head.
I think Librans prefer a detached connection than a very close relationship. That is where they usually get manipulated. My closest friends are those who know how to maintain boundaries. I am usually very grateful.

But in relationships, it is a different matter. Libras tend to take on their partner's mental/ emotional hurt. That's why its important for Libras to find a healthy partner who knows boundaries.

"One of my libra best buds even threw herself in front of a crazy street person who was trying to hurt another woman she did know."

That is crazy. She does not care about her own well being; it does not make sense to sacrifice her life for someone else this way.

But in relationships, it is a different matter. Libras tend to take on their partner's mental/ emotional hurt. That's why its important for Libras to find a healthy partner who knows boundaries."

Well that's what I meant. Libras, deep down are very caring & compassionate. When their friends are going through something, it's not that they "feel" what their friends are going through, BUT they definetely understand their friend's frustrations & hard times just as much as they understand their own. Libras can be very protective of the ones they love, plus their mood can often be affected by their environment. When things aren't in good harmony in their own lives or in the lives of the people they care about, it almost messes with their sense of balance & harmony. I agree that Libras, although they constantly seek the best companionship/friendship possible, they can still be a little detached & aloof. But I've noticed that with alot of my Libra friends, even though they can be quite detached, they still never raise any doubts or thoughts in me that they don't care. Every time I'm going through something, my Libra friends are always the 1st to understand. Sometimes when I'm down & have a low tone of voice when I'm venting, they'll even start to have the same low tone of voice. It's almost as if they can't fully be happy unless the people around them are just as happy as they are

"It's almost as if they can't fully be happy unless the people around them are just as happy as they are"

No, no, no. That is crazy. I think that "harmony" is bullshit. Libra knows they cannot control another person's emotions/level of happiness. To ensure everybody is happy means that they have used up all their energy. That is an impossibility. Have you noticed alot of Libras are depressed o have a depressive turn of mind? If they cannot take care of their own mental health, can they extend thoughtfully towards others?

Also, Libra may know that "caring" comes in waves. It helps not to put them in the "mother theresa" frame because they jolly well know they're not.
You can care about someone without trying to ensure they are happy all the time. I bet you that Libra is more concerned about THEIR happiness and mental harmony. Not to say they're selfish this way, but they SHOULD be selfish this way.

"BUT they definetely understand their friend's frustrations & hard times just as much as they understand their own. "

Definitely, because hard times and frustrations are universal. They aren't necessarily unique. Plus, Libras are sensitive; they pick things up easily.

And of course other placements in a Libra's chart should be taken into consideration. The Libras that I know are always putting their happiness on the backburner for others. Yes, they always make sure that they get SOME kind of satisfaction from everything they do, even if it's just 1% , but like you said, I notice that alot of Librans tend to be inwardly depressed & it's usually around the time that others in their close circle are the same way OR when their environments are peaceful. That might just be how the Libras I know are. Everybody's experience & interpretation of them are different.

One of my best Libra female friends has always been a people pleaser. Does she just live her live for and through everyone else? No, but she often goes above & beyond her means to please & make happy those she loves. It seems that the Libras I know are never satisfied. Even when they have everything they want, there seems to always be some sort of mental battle going on in their heads.

"One of my best Libra female friends has always been a people pleaser. Does she just live her live for and through everyone else? No, but she often goes above & beyond her means to please & make happy those she loves."

She is seeking affirmation through others. One mistake Librans make. They seek others for their self esteem.

"Even when they have everything they want, there seems to always be some sort of mental battle going on in their heads."

The mental battle is due to a contradictory behavior. They are not getting what they want doing what they do.

Posted by VirgoFun
are libra's very inspirational people? they like to be inspired and inspire. They are able to get "everything they want" because they feel motivated and inspired to do so?

Libras are very positive people; we like happy and genuinely good energies. That is probably inspirational. Negativity saps strength and energy.

"get everything they want" is a bit of a stretch, but not entirely untrue. One reason why Libras seem to get everything they want, is because they believe and practice the "win-win" strategy. This is not like other signs (no mention here) that make you lose so as to win. The positive libra will always aim for a win win, because they know that is the best strategy, and it is in our personality.

Did your ex cheat on you— Personally I would hold a grudge and been vengeful if i was your best mate and I had been crushing on her but as my best friend wouldn't go there...And she was flirting and leading me on but also wouildn't go there because of you...

And then to turn around and cheat on you with someone else it would feel like a direct slap in the face to me too!!!

Of course I could be way off base here but just putting myself in the situation and why I'd feel that hateful!

Posted by Hypnotic—

Posted by spica

Posted by VirgoFun
are libra's very inspirational people? they like to be inspired and inspire. They are able to get "everything they want" because they feel motivated and inspired to do so?

Libras are very positive people; we like happy and genuinely good energies. That is probably inspirational. Negativity saps strength and energy.

"get everything they want" is a bit of a stretch, but not entirely untrue. One reason why Libras seem to get everything they want, is because they believe and practice the "win-win" strategy. This is not like other signs (no mention here) that make you lose so as to win. The positive libra will always aim for a win win, because they know that is the best strategy, and it is in our personality.

agreed on the win-win part..
we can't help it but be that smart..

😢

click to expand

But not everyone sees it that way, for a 'win-win'. Some see it as manipulative. They didn't know they would benefit as well, if not equally, then a bit more.

Posted by sweethearts
Did your ex cheat on you— Personally I would hold a grudge and been vengeful if i was your best mate and I had been crushing on her but as my best friend wouldn't go there...And she was flirting and leading me on but also wouildn't go there because of you...

And then to turn around and cheat on you with someone else it would feel like a direct slap in the face to me too!!!

Of course I could be way off base here but just putting myself in the situation and why I'd feel that hateful!

That was what I was thinking, she probably was linked to the best mate somehow.

"ahem.. speaking from experience:
scorpios are the ones likely to think that..

in their mind, there's a winner and a loser..
one will try to have the upper hand at a given time..
no draw game or win-win..

libra has to give up on the idea of potential collabo..
for scorpio to realize he was planning a win-win situation..

well, that's a libran perspective ^^"


Scorpio wants control no matter what.. and you're right - it's either a no draw or they win. Even when they lose, they will make it seem like you lost.
Aries will pull for a win-win, BUT they actually want to win at all counts, and do not care if you lose.

Posted by spica
"Libras care deeply about their best friends, thus when their friends are hurt it's almost like they themselves are just as hurt"

I feel a need to comment on this statement. I feel that it is not quite accurate here. Libras are not feelers. They process situations cognitively. When friends hurt, they don't FEEL the hurt, but they do alot of things, thoughtful things, to hopefully make the other person feel better.
I think the key word is 'connection'. The closest I could ever feel for a girlfriend was a fellow Libra. The rest just go over my head.
I think Librans prefer a detached connection than a very close relationship. That is where they usually get manipulated. My closest friends are those who know how to maintain boundaries. I am usually very grateful.

But in relationships, it is a different matter. Libras tend to take on their partner's mental/ emotional hurt. That's why its important for Libras to find a healthy partner who knows boundaries.

Excellent points Spica.

Posted by krysrenee7
And of course other placements in a Libra's chart should be taken into consideration. The Libras that I know are always putting their happiness on the backburner for others. Yes, they always make sure that they get SOME kind of satisfaction from everything they do, even if it's just 1% , but like you said, I notice that alot of Librans tend to be inwardly depressed & it's usually around the time that others in their close circle are the same way OR when their environments are peaceful. That might just be how the Libras I know are. Everybody's experience & interpretation of them are different.

that definitely could describe me.