How to help a Libra out of depression/anxiety

I feel like I'm posting on this thing once a week now lmao. So following my previous post about my music producer boyfriend being immersed in his phone and not paying me any attention. He and I finally had a talk about it and he told me that "this" is too
hopelesscapricornMay 16, 2018 12:16am
6 replies
  • hopelesscapricorn
    "Capricorn Sun, Aries Moon, Virgo Ascendant, Mars in Taurus and Mercury and Ven
    27 years old female from United States
    I feel like I'm posting on this thing once a week now lmao. So following my previous post about my music producer boyfriend being immersed in his phone and not paying me any attention. He and I finally had a talk about it and he told me that "this" is too much. He said I have too many expectations and require too much attention. He said it's a bad time in his life right now and he can't think straight with so much going on and not being where he wants to be. I told him that I would ease up and stop pressuring him. and he thanked me for understanding. It isn't clear whether we're still considered boyfriend or girlfriend, but I'm not gonna press the issue because I don't want to add to the crazy indecision he's already facing.

    The thing is though, since we had our talk, he's been improving with communication and though it takes him several hours to respond to me, he still checks in with me like I asked him to. He's been revealing more to me about his racing thoughts (which surprises me because he usually shuts me out from how he feels) and I don't know how to help him. He's in a really tough spot financially and just not his best self. And I feel totally helpless because contrary to him, I'm doing alright (steady income, a car, saving for a house etc etc.) But he has amazing talent and he's been a great bf to me (besides the one lie I caught him in, and having his ex still in the picture). I know he can succeed and I know he can do better. However he hates for people to help him. So I'm stuck. He just needs a pick me up and I don't know what to do or how to make it better. Should I remove myself completely to let him think things through? Or give him more love? I'm just afraid he's over this situation and I on the other hand want to keep fighting for it.
  • tiziani
    Vorrei guardati ancora ballare se lo stereo e' spento
    It sounds like you are doing just fine as you are.

    I'm not qualified to suggest how anyone deals with depression.

    But as you say just being a friend (for lack of a better word) to listen without reacting or worrying "what's in it for me?" And he's opening up a lot more, which I'm sure is helpful to him.

    Obviously look at for your own needs too. If he can't meet them he can't meet them, don't go sacrificing yourself. But having some redeeming part to your relationship where you can be supportive of one another, it's much better than arguing over sex and attention. I had a music competition I was very anxious about and instead I was having a woman try to break my balls over sex and attention, and it just wasn't the right time.
  • i second what tiz says but i would add, i've found it useful to ask;

    "what can i do to help?"

    and

    "what do you need from me at this time?"

    it takes a lot of the guesswork out.
  • I would just leave him alone because it sounds like you are causing him stress. Stop contacting him and leave all of the contact up to him. Libra's normally don't keep exes in the picture after they're done with them and the fact that his ex is still in the picture is a BIG RED FLAG. He may still be hung up on her or she'd be gone by now.
  • hopelesscapricorn
    "Capricorn Sun, Aries Moon, Virgo Ascendant, Mars in Taurus and Mercury and Ven
    27 years old female from United States
    Posted by DonnaLibra
    I would just leave him alone because it sounds like you are causing him stress. Stop contacting him and leave all of the contact up to him. Libra's normally don't keep exes in the picture after they're done with them and the fact that his ex is still in the picture is a BIG RED FLAG. He may still be hung up on her or she'd be gone by now.



    I'm thinking it's a red flag as well. However, they work on music together. He also has told me she's his friend and I have nothing to worry about. Idk tho
  • Well maybe not. Just be cool and wait and see. I would pull back on contacting him though.
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Libra Details

PEOPLE

Libra, Libra Man, Libra Woman, Libra First Decan, Libra Second Decan, Libra Third Decan, Libra Cusps

RELATIONSHIPS

Libra and Aries, Libra and Taurus, Libra and Gemini, Libra and Cancer, Libra and Leo, Libra and Virgo, Libra and Libra, Libra and Scorpio, Libra and Sagittarius, Libra and Capricorn, Libra and Aquarius, Libra and Pisces

PLANETS

Libra Moon, Libra Ascendant, Libra Mercury, Libra Venus, Libra Mars, Libra Jupiter, Libra Saturn, Libra Uranus, Libra Neptune, Libra Pluto

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