Libra Men and Handling Rejection

This topic was created in the Libra forum by natural25 on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 and has 41 replies.

How Do Libra Men Handle Rejection and Disappointment

Libra men tend to handle rejection with a desire for harmony and balance. They may feel disappointed but often avoid confrontation, preferring to process their feelings privately. Their focus on fairness means they appreciate honesty and may return after taking time to reflect and heal. Understanding their need for peace can improve future interactions.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Well, to make along story bearable, me a Scorp (Sag in Venus and a whole lot of Libra in my chart) has gone on two dates with a Libra (Scorp in Venus). Our last date over the weekend and it was great. We had dinner, drinks and great conversation. He recently got out of a relationship and indicated that while he is not in complete opposition to cultivating a new relationship, he is not in a rush to get into one either. I completely understand this. He needs time to breathe and be single. I get it, no problem. Towards the end of the night, things got really hot and heavy as far as kissing, touching, etc. I stopped before we made it a homerun hitter. Lol. I explained to him that I did not want us to move too fast. He said that he understood and explained that he was highly attracted to me. But I could tell he was disappointed and his ego was a little deflated. So, my question is this, how do Libra??s handle rejection??_disappointment? Do you all think he will be back after he licks his wounds or tip toe to another woman who will spread her legs with a little more ease? Lol. Thoughts?

P.S. I was very nice about this and let him that I am attracted to him as well but just did not think it was the right time.

Profile picture of Nefer
@Nefer
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Dirty little secret about Libra men (most men, really).. they don't want what comes too easy, it has no value. The stuff they have to work for, that has value. Actually, that's kind of a human nature thing, eh?

You're doing fine, honey.. stay sweet and flattering, warm and open.. and stick to your guns, cuz a Leeb tends to jump headlong into "relationships" very quickly, and THEN takes a look around and goes OMG What have I done?! .. and starts waffling, weighing his choices.. is she The One? Is this love? Do I even want to be in a relationship with her?..

Also.. rejection sucks for anyone, yes esp Leebs.. but Libras will turn it over in their mind afterwards to see all sides.. and decide that you have very good reasons to not jump into bed with him, so that's cool - cuz you're being cool and sweet about it, not a haughty, laughing bitch rubbing his face in it. Plus, a woman who knows what she wants, states it, AND sticks to her boundaries.. mmmm that's a woman who triggers deeper attraction. She values herself, so he damn well better too.

And. If he WOULD be right pissed off that you wouldn't boff him by Date Two... even blow you off and go crawling to an "easy" woman.. do you really WANT that in your life right now? I mean, he's certainly entitled to do what he wants in regards to his sex life... but if he's in a place in his life where ALL he wants is easy, NSA sex... that doesn't match what you're looking for, and you shouldn't settle... so don't fret.

I think he'll be back. πŸ˜‰

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Lmao @ King!

Neger - thanks for the feedback. You raise some VERY true points. AND you are ABSOLUTELY right that if he only wanted to hit it, thati s not the man I need to be dealingwith anyway. Lol. We shall see what Mr. Libbra's next mvoe will be.

OldSkool. - What I meant is me pumping the breaks on his ass. I am not suggesting that he is sitting at work right now crying over me. Lol. However, like Nefer said, who likes to be rejected? Lol. No one! Men do not like being told "no". Especially, when they are turned on. Lol. That is what I meant. I do not mean his feelings were hurt. I think his EGO might have been hurt.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

I am just going by how he reacted to my pushing away. He APPEARED to be disappointed. I do not claim to reside in the man's head. Hence, this post. In fact, I hope he does not deem it as a big deal and we can continue to get to know one another.

It's not about "coming across" as being easy. He did not enter the gates because I am not easy. Not an issue of appearances. πŸ˜‰

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Wait a minute. I think that there is an ASSUMPTION that I turned him down for sex because I did not want to APPEAR a certain way. That is not it at all. The reason I turned him down for sex is because I take sex very seriously. I do not go around sleeping with various men. The men I have slept with, were men who I had developed some kind of foundation with and had built a certain level of trust with. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to appear a certain way. I know how I am once I have sex with someone. I attach easily after sex which has made me selective as to who I have sex with.

King and oldskool, why assume it is b/c I am trying to appear a certain way? What preconceived notion do you two share in regards to women and sex that you have imposed to my situation? Just curious...

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

LMAO! I am not justifying myself. Just stating the truth behind my choice. It is interesting that you and King automatically my decision was rooted in a concern about appearances and not something deeper and/or more meaningful.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Oh and Nefer. He already did contact me after Sunday. However, just via text. He contacted me yesterday telling me he had a good time and asked if I was still sore. Lol. I was really sore on Sunday because I have been working out a lot. Lol.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Frankly, I think the guy just wanted to get laid. He is just out of relationship. He is not looking for one. LISTEN to what he says. Don't HEAR what you want to hear, hear what he is actually openly saying. He will move on. If he will ask you out again and not score, you will never be asked out again. Very basic. Very simple.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Ame - Lmao! Right. I totally agree. Honestly, (physically) I wanted to go on with it. However, I had a feeling that afterward I might regret it, because again, I know me and I know I can become attached and it is WAY too early in the game for all that shit. Lol. Especially, since he has already told me that he is not looking for a realtionship .....not running from one but definitely not looking for one either. So, I can totally see him or anyone else being disappointed. It's completely understandable. I just had to stop it becasue I knew it probably wouold not be for the best to go there that night....

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Roaming - I listened to what he said very well and that is ONE of the things that stopped me from having sex with him. I believe him. I am not in the game of only hearing what I want to hear. Lol. No, I heard him loud and clear and believe what he says. You could very well be right about him just wanting to have sex. That is definitely an option. It's always an option with men, even if they tell you they want to be in reltiaonship. Some men will say whatever it takes to get some. I know this. Not all but some. So yes, I am aware that this is an option. That is why I posted on the libra board to make sure that I am not being an overly suspricious Scorpio like I have been accused of being in the past. Lol. But I am well aware that anything is possible.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by aquagirl24

Posted by natural25
Well, to make along story bearable, me a Scorp (Sag in Venus and a whole lot of Libra in my chart) has gone on two dates with a Libra (Scorp in Venus). Our last date over the weekend and it was great. We had dinner, drinks and great conversation. He recently got out of a relationship and indicated that while he is not in complete opposition to cultivating a new relationship, he is not in a rush to get into one either. I completely understand this. He needs time to breathe and be single. I get it, no problem. Towards the end of the night, things got really hot and heavy as far as kissing, touching, etc. I stopped before we made it a homerun hitter. Lol. I explained to him that I did not want us to move too fast. He said that he understood and explained that he was highly attracted to me. But I could tell he was disappointed and his ego was a little deflated. So, my question is this, how do Libra??s handle rejection??_disappointment? Do you all think he will be back after he licks his wounds or tip toe to another woman who will spread her legs with a little more ease? Lol. Thoughts?

P.S. I was very nice about this and let him that I am attracted to him as well but just did not think it was the right time.

thats so typical. they always play hard to get, and then they try put their hands on you... why they do thaatβ€”

click to expand

Riiight!

Profile picture of TheBeautifulStruggle
@TheBeautifulStruggle
15 Years500+ Posts

I know as a female, I take rejection pretty hard, but i get over it. i'm sure it's the same for men. I would never show them I'm upset about it though...so on your end, I wouldn't feel bad about it.

Now if you keep trying to go and stop...that's a bit messed up, I think. I can understand where you're coming from,(as far as taking sex, seriously and going at his word) so you should probably try to make sure you guys don't even get to that. ya know?

it hurts when being rejected, it hurts even more when being led on and then rejected again, consistently...that makes you feel used in a way, plus i know for guys it'll prolly start 'hurting' after a while.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Lol @ Ame!

TBS - Very true. Next time we go out, I will not allow it to get to that point bc it IS messed up to start and stop. I do not want to tease the man like that.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Q Libra - Lol. Right. I do not care what anyone says. I know he was upset. I am not saying he was upset because Iam oh so great but NO ONE WANTS to be rejected! I could tell it messed with his ego because I have to admit he is a serious cutie and he is probably used to getting what he wants.

Lol @ Ame.

Last night, he asked me out. Asked if we could go out on Saturday or Sunday.

Profile picture of TheBeautifulStruggle
@TheBeautifulStruggle
15 Years500+ Posts

Posted by oldskoolflavor
libras are mental-driven

if he can find an explanation to why you didn't give it up,
he won't feel like he was rejected.. nope

even though he coul be used to getting his way w/ women,
he can perfectly understand why a woman won't spread her legs too soon,
hence zero frustration or anything like that

oh that is true...if one could rationalize why..then it isn't so bad. But what happens if they can't rationalize it..what would be the de facto rationale?

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Lol. Yep!!

Now, that i think about it my Libra ex, who I was with for a while, was on my bumper for sex after the first few dates. The two of them have definitely been the most vocal and agressive.

Profile picture of FATH0M
@FATH0M
15 YearsCancer

Natural, I'm a water sign, too (Cancer) and going through a somewhat similar experience wit this Libra motherfucker. I have been readin things about Libra men left and right, honey. Knowing what I know now, I think it's because I denied his fine ass the sex he is sooo used to getting from anybody he wants it from that we are having such communication issues. With him, physicality comes first, then MAYBE emotions will follow (so backwards) and with classy folk like us we need the emotions to come before the physical interactions, and use sex the way it's supposed to be used; as an enhancement to an already existing connection. I knew he was some type of ho, but after reading so much on how Libra men work, and seeing a startlingly common pattern, it seems that sex is first and foremost ALWAYS, then they sit back and ponder why they did what they did until they get a text from another potential fuck, and go right back to what they do best. The CONSTANT reassurance they need to feel attractive is extreme. True, you probably have intrigued the hell outta him, though. He gon come back for a second try once he can get ALL his booty calls in order and bust a few nuts beforehand so he can TRY and get on your level.

Come on wit it, OldSchool. I already know your mind is tryna concoct a way to make it seem that your immature weakness is some type of misunderstood strength and blahblahblah.

Negro, please

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by FATH0M
Natural, I'm a water sign, too (Cancer) and going through a somewhat similar experience wit this Libra motherfucker. I have been readin things about Libra men left and right, honey. Knowing what I know now, I think it's because I denied his fine ass the sex he is sooo used to getting from anybody he wants it from that we are having such communication issues. With him, physicality comes first, then MAYBE emotions will follow (so backwards) and with classy folk like us we need the emotions to come before the physical interactions, and use sex the way it's supposed to be used; as an enhancement to an already existing connection. I knew he was some type of ho, but after reading so much on how Libra men work, and seeing a startlingly common pattern, it seems that sex is first and foremost ALWAYS, then they sit back and ponder why they did what they did until they get a text from another potential fuck, and go right back to what they do best. The CONSTANT reassurance they need to feel attractive is extreme. True, you probably have intrigued the hell outta him, though. He gon come back for a second try once he can get ALL his booty calls in order and bust a few nuts beforehand so he can TRY and get on your level.

I totally agree with this!! Physicality comes first for them and then the emotional connection. W/O sex, they are just gonna pounce on to the next girl willing to give them booty

Profile picture of FATH0M
@FATH0M
15 YearsCancer

Posted by oldskoolflavor
(not my fault you can't handle being considered as a booty-call)

I can handle being considered as ANYTHING, but I'mma need for you to be upfront about your intentions, cuz what I can't handle is bullshit and ulterior motives.

Motherfuckers get stitches over that πŸ™‚

Profile picture of FATH0M
@FATH0M
15 YearsCancer

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by FATH0M
Natural, I'm a water sign, too (Cancer) and going through a somewhat similar experience wit this Libra motherfucker. I have been readin things about Libra men left and right, honey. Knowing what I know now, I think it's because I denied his fine ass the sex he is sooo used to getting from anybody he wants it from that we are having such communication issues. With him, physicality comes first, then MAYBE emotions will follow (so backwards) and with classy folk like us we need the emotions to come before the physical interactions, and use sex the way it's supposed to be used; as an enhancement to an already existing connection. I knew he was some type of ho, but after reading so much on how Libra men work, and seeing a startlingly common pattern, it seems that sex is first and foremost ALWAYS, then they sit back and ponder why they did what they did until they get a text from another potential fuck, and go right back to what they do best. The CONSTANT reassurance they need to feel attractive is extreme. True, you probably have intrigued the hell outta him, though. He gon come back for a second try once he can get ALL his booty calls in order and bust a few nuts beforehand so he can TRY and get on your level.

I totally agree with this!! Physicality comes first for them and then the emotional connection. W/O sex, they are just gonna pounce on to the next girl willing to give them booty

click to expand

You ain't never lied. But they'll keep you in the back of their head for years and years and act like nothin ever happened, and no time has passed, should you be "round the way" again.
Puh-leeez

Profile picture of FATH0M
@FATH0M
15 YearsCancer

Posted by oldskoolflavor
in less assholic terms:

an off-the-chain sexual chemistry will **shadow** the nagging & the other good stuff that comes with commitment
emotional connection is more like a big bonus lol

(shame on us)

Ain't no shame in that. I can't even bitch at you for this one πŸ˜›
Can't be mad at nobody when they keep it real.
Take it or leave it

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by oldskoolflavor

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by FATH0M

I totally agree with this!! Physicality comes first for them and then the emotional connection. W/O sex, they are just gonna pounce on to the next girl willing to give them booty

you gotta try the ride before buying it lol

click to expand

LOL. If everyone was trying the ride before buying it, then nobody would buy it since it's common commodity now. People only buy or try to possess those things that are rare or not in common use πŸ˜‰ Even Plato would agree πŸ˜‰ lol

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by FATH0M

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by FATH0M
Natural, I'm a water sign, too (Cancer) and going through a somewhat similar experience wit this Libra motherfucker. I have been readin things about Libra men left and right, honey. Knowing what I know now, I think it's because I denied his fine ass the sex he is sooo used to getting from anybody he wants it from that we are having such communication issues. With him, physicality comes first, then MAYBE emotions will follow (so backwards) and with classy folk like us we need the emotions to come before the physical interactions, and use sex the way it's supposed to be used; as an enhancement to an already existing connection. I knew he was some type of ho, but after reading so much on how Libra men work, and seeing a startlingly common pattern, it seems that sex is first and foremost ALWAYS, then they sit back and ponder why they did what they did until they get a text from another potential fuck, and go right back to what they do best. The CONSTANT reassurance they need to feel attractive is extreme. True, you probably have intrigued the hell outta him, though. He gon come back for a second try once he can get ALL his booty calls in order and bust a few nuts beforehand so he can TRY and get on your level.

I totally agree with this!! Physicality comes first for them and then the emotional connection. W/O sex, they are just gonna pounce on to the next girl willing to give them booty

You ain't never lied. But they'll keep you in the back of their head for years and years and act like nothin ever happened, and no time has passed, should you be "round the way" again.
Puh-leeez

click to expand

Lemme get this straight. Are you saying that the librans keep you at the back of their mind for years and years to come while simultaneously pretending like they did you no wrong? And if you are ever up their alley, they'll come approach you as if nothing happened?

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by everevolvingepithet
I agree with both you and he, although I don't remember him mention his cycling skills that much (it's been a while since I've read any though)πŸ™‚

He mentioned the common commodity rule in Republic. Machiavelli and Hobbes mentioned that as well in their respective books.

I'm falmiliar with the rule, my bad humour :/πŸ™‚
I do agree though, it everyone's had a shot at it it's not like the commodity in question is that rare nor desirable. What's new to learn if it's there for all and sunder ?

click to expand

Precisely that too πŸ˜‰

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by oldskoolflavor
to own the rare/fancy ride isn't a guarantee of satisfaction

Sadly the territorial aspect of the buyer, which I personally believe is innate, kills it for them. Yeah, the buyer would never refuse to ride as many cars to test it but given the mileage on the "car", it just might deter the buyer from buying, and lead him towards window shopping or even continue to keep on trying all these different cars. Options are vast especially when trying one comes without a commitment.

Kinda like that saying that goes for girls: Why would one buy an ice cream truck when you're handing out the popsicles for free. LOL

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Basically why buy at all. Just keep testing because there is so much more excitement in that. Buying a car is filled with headaches, pain, commitment blah blah blah. You know how it goes.

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by oldskoolflavor
aqua09:

it was very low of him to cheat, regardless of what went on btwn you two
let's hope that scar will heal w/ time

Aww thanks πŸ™‚ Yes, I agree cheating is for lowlifes. Hopefully time will heal my wound/ego. Yea I'm surprised by the niceness too considering you're not very nice to people on here. lol. When am I going on your favourite list? lol