My Libra man is driving me nuts

Disclaimer: Sorry if this post will be a bit of a long read.

Quick background: I'm a Cancer and my boyfriend is a Libra. We've known each for years and had a thing before (online) but have only been together this year. We have been a couple since February.

Things are really great between us and so intense! Our connection is unbelievably intuitive, almost pyschic sometimes. Sex is beyond amazing. BUT (heh!) two months after and things have started to get a lil wonky.

As intense as our love is for each other, that's also how spicy our fights get. And boy did it become frequent.

Anyway, I'm not gonna go into much details. Just think that we really didn't get a long most of the time anymore on that third month onwards to the point that the littlest things gets blown up and we argue almost every single effing day. We do get calm at the end of the day and still have that amazing sex (gosh, that one is just hard to say no to! It's just that good despite whatever shit had happened).

So well, I got pregnant. I thought he'd mellow down, but no. Still the same! And he is good at turning the table around and place all the blame on me saying I provoke him all the time and make him angry and that I have all these drama (yeah, sometimes okay when I get sad). Like whutt? I'm peace loving, dude! I don't like fights. Duuh.

Long story short, our relationship is turning toxic so I decided to go home to my grandparents and spend the early part of my pregnancy there 'cause I don't want to be surrounded by all this negativity and be stressed by him. He didn't want to of course but I persisted. We talk everyday until now (still away from him) but he still stresses me out. There's just always something to argue about and he can go hours just ranting to me. There was a time it took us two freaking days talking about issues and he's blaming me he couldn't work 'coz he feels bad. That was so draining.

Okay, Ima try to get to my concern. Our relationship seems to be on the toxic side now but we both can't seem to let go of each other because we still do care and love each other (and well, we're still very very much sexually attracted to each other). He's been very clingy and insecure and would want all my attention to him even if I'm on family events or socializing with friends. Part of me wants to keep this relationship 'cause well, we both want to build a family together especially now that I'm carrying his child. But another part of me is telling me I should end this because of all his red flags (plus he always tries to get me jealous saying he's suddenly surrounded with girls).

I am torn! One day he seems cheerful and loving and sweet, then the next he has issues with me again. So confusing! I just want a normal relationship. Not like this where we fight on the daily (oh god, that guy needs to chill!). Any thoughts or advice?

Libran, a very sensitive and loyal partner but Libran unable to make a decision itself. From the story I read above, it's seem like the Libran have something in his mind that still on going analyse or in consideration. As long he not yet get the answer for his self, he will easily confusing and doubt to this relationship. This is because something in his mind that he unable to dig from you, beside the thing that confusing him now will going to hurt you so deep if he directly to asking you. In other words, he don't want to hurt you by asking you and he try his self to dig until he get the answer but will lead him to frustrating while he is finding the answer. Libran man is kind, lovely and sweet. He look like flirting from other people eyes but actually is not. My opinion is to date him and sit down, give him some comfort and slowly start ask him what inside his mind. Tell him that you will always beside him and will together solve it no matter how big the problems or trial or doubt. REMEMBER that Libran like prove to make them feel secure. YES Libran will not hide their feeling but they will consider to hide and dig something that they wanted to know before they tell you everything after he get the answer that he want.The best way to make him touching is to date, sit together and hug him to give him feel secure and slowly start asking him in gentle way BUT not in rush. Give him time to say, while he was letting you know, let him finish what he want to tell before you want to say something.

Well, I didn't get pregnant, but I've been going though this exact same thing. I finally broke up with him and moved out so we can both get some clarify on the situation. It's so hard, I feel like I am missing my best friend, but at the same time - I don't want to go back into a toxic situation. If he can't change and grow up and do the things he needs to do, I am not sure I can stick around. He's so irresponsible, and it drives me crazy. It's a hard place, we still talk almost every day. I have no clue what will happen.

Is your boyfriend @LordComplexity??

Posted by DiwaDewi
Disclaimer: Sorry if this post will be a bit of a long read.

Quick background: I'm a Cancer and my boyfriend is a Libra. We've known each for years and had a thing before (online) but have only been together this year. We have been a couple since February.

Things are really great between us and so intense! Our connection is unbelievably intuitive, almost pyschic sometimes. Sex is beyond amazing. BUT (heh!) two months after and things have started to get a lil wonky.

As intense as our love is for each other, that's also how spicy our fights get. And boy did it become frequent.

Anyway, I'm not gonna go into much details. Just think that we really didn't get a long most of the time anymore on that third month onwards to the point that the littlest things gets blown up and we argue almost every single effing day. We do get calm at the end of the day and still have that amazing sex (gosh, that one is just hard to say no to! It's just that good despite whatever shit had happened).

So well, I got pregnant. I thought he'd mellow down, but no. Still the same! And he is good at turning the table around and place all the blame on me saying I provoke him all the time and make him angry and that I have all these drama (yeah, sometimes okay when I get sad). Like whutt? I'm peace loving, dude! I don't like fights. Duuh.

Long story short, our relationship is turning toxic so I decided to go home to my grandparents and spend the early part of my pregnancy there 'cause I don't want to be surrounded by all this negativity and be stressed by him. He didn't want to of course but I persisted. We talk everyday until now (still away from him) but he still stresses me out. There's just always something to argue about and he can go hours just ranting to me. There was a time it took us two freaking days talking about issues and he's blaming me he couldn't work 'coz he feels bad. That was so draining.

Okay, Ima try to get to my concern. Our relationship seems to be on the toxic side now but we both can't seem to let go of each other because we still do care and love each other (and well, we're still very very much sexually attracted to each other). He's been very clingy and insecure and would want all my attention to him even if I'm on family events or socializing with friends. Part of me wants to keep this relationship 'cause well, we both want to build a family together especially now that I'm carrying his child. But another part of me is telling me I should end this because of all his red flags (plus he always tries to get me jealous saying he's suddenly surrounded with girls).

I am torn! One day he seems cheerful and loving and sweet, then the next he has issues with me again. So confusing! I just want a normal relationship. Not like this where we fight on the daily (oh god, that guy needs to chill!). Any thoughts or advice?

The 'dad' is no longer the issue. Tell him to straighten up and fly right or GTFO. seriously. Only baby and mama matter now. Fuck him. Sorry you got prego by an immature person... Next time use bc. Good luck.

Posted by LordComplexity

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Is your boyfriend @LordComplexity??

Lmao, none of my relations have ever had a real "fighting" problem.

My ex Melody would berate me and got physically abusive. She had Cancer Sun, Sag Moon. Pretty close to OP's set up. I was passive to her enough to let her wail on me. To observers they thought I was abusive but only because how manipulative she was. There was no real fighting. Just me confronting her about shit completely calmly and civilly(or otherwise breaking down emotionally, not getting angry), particularly when I had explicit evidence or I was just repeating things she herself said.

If you call fighting her constantly flipping around and telling me how worthless I was, especially compared to her ex and her friends. Me simply confronting her lies like claiming she didn't have phone service when she did, or claiming she hadn't been with anyone else after us separating for a short bit, etc. Her whackin me in the head demanding I leave. Etc.

But I never really took a tone that was against her. Only when she was completely insensitive to my emotions and overreacted to me confrontin shit, and it was always very short lived on my end as I ended up resorting more so to sad emotions, hurt, etc and trying to get her to see why I was hurt.

That's just one example. Relationships can be dysfunctional without couples constantly fighting. Especially if things really are 1 sided. Because in abusive situations, that's usually how it goes. So I won't say that my relationships have been all that great and healthy. But stop with the assumptions.

Hell I didn't even abandon the chick I /allegedly/ knocked up. I mean never mind that Melody conveniently had a miscarriage, and someone I met predicted that, that would happen. Which kinda proves said person knew what they were talking about and knew all about that kind of crazy bitch. He was right, she was just bullshit. Stop making me out to be the villain. I was the one manipulated into believing I had a child, and how did I ultimately react to that idea despite being financially rock bottom and never having wanted children beforehand?

By wanting to stick by Melody's side and raise it together. As well in the long term, 6 more kids that she already had with other guys. I was literally the exact opposite of guys who actually do shirk responsibility and run from that shit. Anyone with a brain knows that if I was as you guys suggest, I would have claimed I was going to the store never to return. Herpderp.

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Yea it was all her fault. MEHHH WRONG. I am grateful there is no longer a kid involved though.

Omg I feel very sorry for you - damn birth control is so important!!! Getting knocked up by dudes they barely know, barely compatible with, dudes who always somehow are immature, who they have struggle with on a regular basis, not even that serious beside the good sex - why is being on proper birth control so difficult for many women? I had a stupid libra ex too and DANG girl, imagine if I got preggo by him. I would have hated my stupid self every damn day for being tied to this mofu my whole damn life + bringing an innocent child who deserves way better into such a toxic environment with a dad like him!

Back then it was said females mate with the potencial best... so many unwanted pregnancies fathered by males not even close to "ok lets give it a shot"

Anyways.. all the best for you! I hope your parents can assist you and give you emotional stability to endure all that. You can do it and I'm sure you can be a great mum if you want to. ❤️

Posted by LordComplexity

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Yea it was all her fault. MEHHH WRONG. I am grateful there is no longer a kid involved though.

Abusive situations are almost always one sided. There are a rare few exceptions like my sister and her girlfriend. But usually abusers only pick on weak and vulnerable prey. They usually don't like a taste of their own medicine so they usually don't try to get with other abusers.

Victims are victims, end of story. Stop fucking blaming victims for what their abusers do you sick fuck.

There's a reason my ex kept making note of "how innocent I looked and seemed". I always thought it was weird at the time. But only now do I know why she put so much stock in it. I rationalized that she cherished that I wouldn't hurt her. But that was only half the picture. What she really cherished was that I most probably wouldn't fight back if she abused me. Which is exactly what ended up happening. She just didn't estimate that I would walk out the door.

Actually you know what. I don't know why im explaining this shit. By your response, you're obviously an abusive cunt yourself. You're literally trying to tell me that abuse isn't all the abuser's fault. You're the kind of person that rationalizes that abuse can be deserved. Go get aids or something cunt, I ain't got time fo yo retardation.

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No, i am not, I but what i am is tired of ABUSIVE men blaming women constantly when they are indeed the ones to blame. Ive read your posts and sorry but you are no angel. You're also young af and need way more life experience before shooting your mouth off.. So tired of men who gas light and play victim.. Its bullshit. Once again SOOOOOO glad an innocent child is no longer involved.

my thing is, how and when did you tell him you were prego and having the child? I kno me personally as a libra you can't throw something like that at me and exspect me to be okay. It would throw me off balance. I need time to think things through. Which is also why you use protection. You shouldn't have thought that having a child together would help ya'll situation. That's naive. I'm not excusing his actions but my best friend is Libra male and he would freak out and have a defensive wall up if a girl tried that with him. Also a libra isn't going to put themselves or want to be put in a situation where they haven't had time to think the entire thing through and the possible future outcome. How is it gonna affect them and their everyday life. And if he has a Virgo moon then it's even more difficult. You need to look at things from his perspective as well instead of being wrapped up in your own. And also EVERY ACTION CAUSES A REACTION. It's a 2 way street so he isn't the one to blame completely in this matter

I understand that 100% because I feel the same way. That's ignorance. You can't get mad at an outcome if both parties are not willing to come to a compromise. Anyone is entitled to state their opinion in a relationship and the other isn't entitled to agree with it BUT relationships are based around trust communication and compromise W/o that you end up with situations like these