To Libra MALES

I am a Virgo woman trying to work things out with s long distance libra male. He is 26 turning 27 October 11th. The last time I saw him was May 17th and it ended on bad terms because I went through his phone and found out that he had been texting other girls.


Any way, things havent been the same since then but we still keep in contact. More him than me now since I expressed all of my feelings finally. I didn't bash him, nag him or anything I actually encouraged him by telling him positive things I see in him.

Am I dumb for not cutting him completely off?
Is this tactic a waste of time?
How do I get him to realize a good thing with out pressuring him ?

Lol that's my birthday. People get into arguments and forget. Move past it. Just give it time and eventually he'll see the good in the pursuit. Then there's the possibility that he's not interested

Okay so it's okay for me to initiate conversations or let him come to me for now?

Posted by youngifted
Am I dumb for not cutting him completely off?

Yes

Is this tactic a waste of time?

Yes. Why are you so desperate to keep a dude around who's fucking around with other chicks? I've been in this spot before and it's totally a waste of time to even keep considering him. He's a 20 something dude and those guys don't know what they want and want to run around being manwhores. They are not relationship material.

How do I get him to realize a good thing with out pressuring him ?

click to expand

This isn't your job. You worry about you. It's a waste of time to try to change a guy who clearly has other ideas of what he wants in life.

Posted by youngifted
Okay so it's okay for me to initiate conversations or let him come to me for now?

Do not initiate. By doing this, you're basically telling him, "Hey, you know when I saw that you were chatting up other girls? Well your shitty behavior and current lack of effort is no big deal and I forgive you. Come use me again. I'm showing I don't really put my foot down and you'll likely take advantage of me again at a later date. But that's okay. I'm desperate for your shitty presence in my life."

Posted by topes
Why are you resorting to these tactics? He would be foolish to not see this ingenuine front you're putting on. His question will be: 'how needy and insecure are you? Is this what i will put up with if we become an item? Jeebs!'

I'm not surprised. Her profile is set up like a dating profile. This one's desperate to settle down.

Desperate and needy by trying to work things out? I never said I needed him or needed things to work out. I asked if I would be wasting my time if I continued to talk to him and try and get past that.

I hope these responses were all from Libra Males .

Posted by youngifted
Desperate and needy by trying to work things out? I never said I needed him or needed things to work out. I asked if I would be wasting my time if I continued to talk to him and try and get past that.

I hope these responses were all from Libra Males .

If you have to ask if you're wasting time, then you're looking for a reason to stay.

That translates to needy and desperate. Most sane people would go "eff this" and walk.

But no, you're here wondering if you should hold out for this loser.

Posted by RoseLenses
You should probably cut him off. Considering this is long distance, this even gives him more room for play and you're just feeding his ego. If he is really interested in you, go completely mia and wait for him to initiate. When he does, give him vague responses and play hard to get. As a libra myself, i can't stand a woman without challenge since we love to chase..since you told him your feelings you're pretty much fucked. With that said, even if he initiates it doesn't mean he still actually is interested..he may just want that extra attention from and to scope out what's available to him. If he likes you, you won't have to play virgo games..you'll just KNOW.

So it was a bad thing to express the way I feel about everything? And okay I'll go MIA even more than I have been doing now. He's been texting me good morning and things like that. But that may be apart of him just seeing if I will answer?

I should like block his number and off social media and erase all of pics and everything now? Is that what you mean by going MIA?

Posted by youngifted
I didn't bash him, nag him or anything I actually encouraged him by telling him positive things I see in him.

Am I dumb for not cutting him completely off?
Is this tactic a waste of time?
How do I get him to realize a good thing with out pressuring him ?

This passive-aggressive/people pleasing tactic you're taking will create 'bigger' problems in the future.
Oh, and the term "A Good Woman" is subjective, it can have a myriad of interpretations depending on the observer.
Men are not not a monolithic gender. Every man has his preference, and his own views on relationships.

Libras can be indecisive at times, but when their minds are made up...that cardinal energy kicks in, they initiate, initiate and initiate!

And by the looks of this thread, it doesn't look as if he's chasing you.

Posted by youngifted
I asked if I would be wasting my time if I continued to talk to him and try and get past that.

I hope these responses were all from Libra Males .

And you also asked this question...

Posted by youngifted
Am I dumb for not cutting him completely off?
Is this tactic a waste of time?
How do I get him to realize a good thing with out pressuring him ?

click to expand

This is what is drawing the negative responses, the underhanded approach.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by youngifted
I didn't bash him, nag him or anything I actually encouraged him by telling him positive things I see in him.

Am I dumb for not cutting him completely off?
Is this tactic a waste of time?
How do I get him to realize a good thing with out pressuring him ?

This passive-aggressive/people pleasing tactic you're taking will create 'bigger' problems in the future.
Oh, and the term "A Good Woman" is subjective, it can have a myriad of interpretations depending on the observer.
Men are not not a monolithic gender. Every man has his preference, and his own views on relationships.

Libras can be indecisive at times, but when their minds are made up...that cardinal energy kicks in, they initiate, initiate and initiate!

And by the looks of this thread, it doesn't look as if he's chasing you.

click to expand

So just work on letting go? Or going MIA like the gentleman suggested above?

Take his advice.

He gave the PERFECT advice.

...And he also happens to be a Libra male. 😉

Posted by libraqueen
I just want to smack the living crap out of this dude. He was texting other girls? I understand your patience and understanding personality with him. I'm the same way and it works for me, so I'm not going to school you..but JFC texting other girls is so so rude..I would never be cool with that. If anything I would drop him without saying a word. Do you have guys friends? I do and I know how guys think. They either like you or they don't. He may end up liking you but just know he doesn't like you right now..so arguing with him isn't even worth it. Just drop him. Dropping him will probably get his attention..so since that's what you want to do..drop him.

Okay thank you for that I really appreciate your advice

Posted by RoseLenses

Posted by youngifted

Posted by RoseLenses
You should probably cut him off. Considering this is long distance, this even gives him more room for play and you're just feeding his ego. If he is really interested in you, go completely mia and wait for him to initiate. When he does, give him vague responses and play hard to get. As a libra myself, i can't stand a woman without challenge since we love to chase..since you told him your feelings you're pretty much fucked. With that said, even if he initiates it doesn't mean he still actually is interested..he may just want that extra attention from and to scope out what's available to him. If he likes you, you won't have to play virgo games..you'll just KNOW.

So it was a bad thing to express the way I feel about everything? And okay I'll go MIA even more than I have been doing now. He's been texting me good morning and things like that. But that may be apart of him just seeing if I will answer?

I should like block his number and off social media and erase all of pics and everything now? Is that what you mean by going MIA?

Sorry I just saw this. Don't go completely mia but change your pattern in the way you interact with him. Don't give him attention and if he does message you..reply back with short nonchalent answers. If he's interested and you pull back he will capitalize on it. If he doesn't he is not interested. Since you already proclaimed your feelings both you and him know where you stand. If he isn't interested in you, just move on..but if he is..libras like playing games especially when chasing women..so stay mysterious!

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I've been taking your advice! And it's working. I have to work on saying a lot but with a little words though. And yes he does like playing games for some reason , I think he wants me to chase him to see if I will react in a desperate way if that makes sense. But I haven't been weak, I've been standing my ground with this one. He's been asking me what I am doing and I haven't been texting him or responding how I usually would at all. So we shall see were this goes.

Okay see we've been dating for almost a year , so at the year make if this doesn't work I think I'm just going to let it go. And thanks a lot I will keep your advice in mind and use it

Because of my age, I consider a committed relationship to be marriage, otherwise if we haven't made a vow to be exclusive I expect a single man to be a single man.

Since you are still in your 20's commitment may look different.. So are you wearing his promise ring? Has he committed to you? Otherwise of course he is dating and texting other women. I might be missing something.

Are you two talking about marriage? This man is single, and it was quite invasive of you to intrude on his personal space and go through his phone. But the single man should have kept a lock on his phone. What is he doing. Is he driving or flying up to see as often as possible? What is his behavior?