what is going on —

OK.got home this morning. My younger sister picked me up at the airport.

ex Libra left his house keys with her and wants me to go to his place. He is out of town will be back sunday.I have not been to his place since we brokeup 7 months ago and he has been comming to my place.

Any how... I am at his place now. And nothing has changed everything is the way I left it.Yes, I know I am wrong for doing this but I am snooping... here are women shoes, one pair of panties and beauty products here... is he crazy to ask me to go to his place—

Ok, also found stuff I left here(beauty products) next to the other woman's things... this is just too creepy.


what is going on—

He collects womens things? Move on Bella, just move on - that is creepy, insensitive and just plain awkward....let him go for good 🙂

Why did you accept goingn over there to begin with? Get out of there.

exactly, I dont understand that at all, nor that he invited you and gave you the key...again, that's just creepy

He's been coming to your place all this time for the last 7 months? But you haven't been going to his place? Now you go there because he asked you to and for you to see other women's things and your NOT upset?? WTF? What is your intuition telling you? Obviously you are just a toy for him while he is with "another woman". He obviously wants you to see that.

He WANTED you to see those things. He probably put YOUR things out so you'd see them and take them and it would validate for him you had been there and snooped. LEAVE YOUR THINGS behind forever (including him). And give him back his keys. Keep the knowledge of what you know to yourself AND MOVE ON!!! IN FACT: RUN !!!!!!!!!! This guy is a user and a loser.

Ok. I went there snooped. And yes, I was upset and dissapointed.After going home and taking a hot bath I wonder what the hell I am I doing.

I have done a lot of thinking Satuarday and Sunday.I should not have been so guilable. And it really is time to put him behind me.I didn't catch him when he picked up his keys.At my mom's house.

I should just face him and tell him the true.Just a coward stays away and doesn't say anything.

I met someone and are going to give him a chance.
Ex-libra knows that he "has" me and he also knows that I am not seeing anyone...Yes, I was holding on to him all this time....

Like we didnt know!! LOL


He did what he did though, to hurt you - why? why would somebody do that?

Give up, let go and move on - easy you say? no its not easy but its necessary

I am reading this again and I sound so pathetic...

I will not ask him about the stuff.I am sure that it belongs to another woman.Ex-Libra doesn't just let anyone stay over at his place unsupervised(by him)...not even his sistersor his girlfriends. Maybe his brothers.

Most of the stuff was hidden like the shoes and the panties and the beauty products... it was in a bag behind the towels.. The toner was next to "my" moisturiser in his side drawer.

I also don't understand why he gave me his house keys.Ag...He called last night.I told him that I need time to think...

Seriously Bella what exactly do you need to think about? I have a feeling you're going to let this guy continue to manipulate you, use you up and then toss you aside like some doll a spoilt little kid tires of.

You're not pathetic but you really are setting yourself up for so much pain. I know what its like, I've been there (most of us have) and you feel that you can hardly breathe knowing you may never hear/see from that person again but trust me, life does go on, the world does keep turning and in time you will laugh at HIM BEING PATHETIC and how happy you are that you got out of that sordid relationship (if you can call it one).

That guy isn't ready for somebody who cares about him...have you not read the stories on this board? your LIbra shows the classic signs of one that uses and abuses women....do you really want to love a man who treats you with such contempt? dont you deserve better?

Do yourself a favour and cut all ties...I thought you weren't going to answer the phone? I thought you werent going to answer the door? I thought you were going to be a strong woman? what happened to all of that? What the hell did he do that's so damned wonderful to drag you back into such a desperate state? NOTHING right? ABSOLUTELY nothing but give you more pain.

Think about it - that's all he'll ever give you - your call if you want to continue that rollercoaster but one thing I know for a fact, he will NEVER change and if he has caused you this pain now? just imagine the future....it aint so rosey...they dont change, they only get worse...if he loved you he would do ANYTHING to be with you, and he would treat you with respect and love and sincerity......do we see that at all? I dont

I told him that I need to think, because I was not in the mood to tell him once again that I don't want him... I am sure that even he doesn't take what I say seriously.I don't even think that I believe myself anymore...

He got clever.He calls me from a private number. And not from all his other numbers I have on my phone for him.

1. Yes, it took me a long time to realize that he has no feelings for me.
2. I just love him...wish I didn't but I do
3. I know that he is manipulating my affections for him.
4. And it really just hurt now.
5. just really need time on my own.

Things has just gotten so out of hand that I hate myself for going back to him everytime.

So, I just need time to deal with me. He is not the problem anymore I am.

? He probably put YOUR things out so you'd see them

Oh please! I doubt there was any thought behind it at all. It was probably pushed to the back of the cupboard and forgotten about. I am sure if you dug around I have some of my ex's stuff. I definetely have some of his socks. And he is NOT getting them back. Hee hee. Probably a couple of t-shirts, maybe a CD or two. My other ex I think I have some photos of his, a couple of his movies, a couple of his books. And I haven't been with that one in ? 6 years? I have a man's razor which I now use. Stuff just collects. It doesn't mean anything.

My bf had girlie products in his bathroom, some undergarments, a pair of slippers. So? I took what I wanted and threw out the rest. A part of modern day relationships is staying overnight with your partner. When you break-up sometimes things get left behind. It really doesn't mean anything.

Now onto the question. Why did he leave you his key? Why did he want you to go over there? There is something missing from your story because it doesn't make sense that he left you his key for you to go over there when he wasn't home unless you were house-sitting or something. And then he is an idiot because he should have known it would upset you.

I asked that question and have yet to get an answer. There is something missing to this story. Your sister just gave you his key? He just gave his key to your sister? Under what motive? If some guy gave me a key to give to my sister, I would question that.

I believe we have a selective storyteller here....

((He just gave his key to your sister? Under what motive? If some guy gave me a key to give to my sister, I would question that. ))

Believe me if I knew.I would dish. And like I said I have NOT been to his place for 7 months.

ok if he is so "clever" then change YOUR number....its not that hard 🙂

Changing my number that is not so easy. I would need to change business cards, stationery etc.Anyway, I will be getting a "new" number to use after 17:00.

After reading this post last night.

I called and asked him why he left his keys for me.
He replied " Why is it an issue? I didn't ask you to stay on".Then I asked him what exactly am I to you? To which I relpied I am busy working is there anything else. I said No and hung up.

This morning there is a text msg on my phone from him " I am stupid.Forgive me".(Whatever that means)It's done...

can you see the pattern? as per my previous post, he will only continue to play these games and til now youve shown him that you'll be the other player....let him go - be brave 🙂

* " Why is it an issue? I didn't ask you to stay on".

That isn't an acceptible answer. I would push on it. Ask him again why he wanted you to have his keys.

I wouldnt push this...if he isnt decent enough to "talk" to give her answers? to do the things he has? get rid of him.

to be honest, I think this guy is showing signs of abuse...he does these things THEN apologises by TEXT?? he hides his phone number so she'll answer? is it not clear to him that she wants him to leave her alone? these actioms to me, given what bella has disclosed here (and Im sure there is more to the story), he is abusing her...not physically but mentally...

Bella you are a grown woman, stop being the victim and move on...if he calls, hang up (its really not that hard to do). Him giving you the key and then THAT answer? come on!!!

I am not going to push for him to clarify why he left the keys. I am just tired and something just snapped for me when he gave me that answer."Why is it an issue? I did not ask you to stay on".What the hell?

Background:I was out of town or a while in Cape Town working.The last time we spoke before the key incident was when I told him to stay away from me since he has a girlfriend .after he told me that he doesn't, but he couldn't lie when I saw him in the newspaper with the girl.He called while I was in CT and wanted to see me, before he went out of town.I told him that I am out of the country and will be flying back the next day.He said that I must enjoy and he will see me when he gets back. My younger sister is staying with me during the week, I live 30 mins away the University that she goes to.So, when she picked me up at the airport and told me that he dropped his house and said that I must go there.And that he is comming back sunday morning. I was curious and I went and snooped... I send him a text his keys are at my place and he can pick it up there. As I had errands to run.

Something just is not right here and I really just need to get Mr Libra out of my system. For my own good.

houstonpeach74, me and Libra have been having a on-again off again thing for months everytime he is going through something difficult . He rocks up at my place. e.g When his mom died, mothers day, his mom's birthday, when he was sued. when his younger brother got sick etc. And because I love and care about him I am always there for him it doesn't matter when and what time.

There are times that I think he loves me and then there are times when he looks at me and it is like he hates himself for being there with me.

Iam in such a crappy mood , it's like my environment\surrounding it irrating the hell out of me...

Dont feel bad, its NOT your fault that you love a man who is unable to give what you want/need/deserve...its HIS problem not yours...yes he has hurt you, you've allowed him to hurt you but you most definitely need to be strong now and dont continue this cycle.

After 8 months my Libra has surfaced...I was beginning to wonder if I was the exception to the rule that Libras always come back but whoah, from nowhere, there he was waiting for me and then we spend 3 hours chatting, just very briefly about what happened but then about utter crap (as we always did)....these guys are the masters of doing that. we forgive all the hurt, the sheer pain they cause...the only good thing is that it did take him 8 months and that was enough time to allow me to actually move on. I still love him deep down and if he truly has changed as he said he has, I'd probably take him back in a flash because if he wasn't so "broken" as he was before, he'd be the most perfect partner...why did he tell me he's "changed"? my guess is as good as yours....I guess in 8 months maybe one can change. Why did he tell me he hasnt been with anybody else (which I know is true, dont ask, its not worth it)?

I kinda know the answers to all the questions above...he may perhaps want to give it another try.

Bella, my Libra did the right thing by me - he stayed away for me to heal, for me to move forward, yours isnt allowing you to do so....you need to be the one who does it for him, the sex may be utterly amazing (and trust me i miss that more than anything with Libra), but sex is not everything...at this point, your LIbra is using you for just that....to make himself feel better.

If you keep your distance for a few months and allow yourself to heal and to enjoy other men, you will see that he isn't so great (coz he's not or he'd not have treated you so badly). Who knows? perhapsthe distance, the time apart will in fact trigger some sort of normality in your man and he will realise what he truly lost and will come back....if not? at least you are on the road to moving on and perhaps finding a wonderful man to replace this dud one.

I am going to do the same...be strong and unless my Libra has changed and shows me he'd work at a committed r/ship, keep my distance although every ounce of my body right now wants to go and see him, to have a drink and a laugh and to kiss him....but no, not this time, never again will I allow myself to be used, charmed, lured in for his gratification only.

Chatz!! My little grasshopper!! I have taught you well!! Go head girl, speak!!

you just put it down...real talk d:

I'm on and off with DXP, sometimes I have nothing to say and remain quiet for weeks or months, then after being so quiet I unleash it all depends on the season. Love the sarcasm, good job!! Oh and I never claimed to be wise but I get your point.

Tiki, I had a great deal of help from you and cant thank you enough. Yes you taught me so very much and as you can see, Im so much stronger now but man that Libra still does it for me.....but I stand firm on what I feel - maybe, just maybe he'll turn out to be the man I always thought he could be but if not? Im ok with that, I think with my head these days not my heart 🙂

He didnt appear last night for no reason - there's more to this story and I will keep you posted.

As for Bella though? she's going to have to be very strong herself and I wish her all the very best....maybe there will be a happy ending and trust me Bella, if my Libra (after all we went through and the time apart) can come back now? and put his pride behind him? yours will too.....I am testimony that they do come back even though I thought it'd never happen LOL

Enjoy your freedom because it is precious

Thanks, Chatz

I am staying away from him. And I have not heard from him either.
My soul just feels so entwined with him.
I can do this. I will and can get over him.And I just need to give myself time.

ran into ex-Libra while I was having lunch with Cappy. Since all the drama in this thread.

then I get a text mgs for ex-libra " have fun with him"

to which I replied :"Yes,I am. What do you care anyway".

What the hell. anyway, if I don't care about someone I will ignore him and bs to my friends about it.And just ignore him.

((And just ignore him.)) saying it too much!!!

why do I let myself give in to these "games". I feel bad now after that texte msg!!!I feel like a a crazy person.

But Bella you're not ignoring him....you answered his text and with a question too—

You're not "crazy"...but you need to totally let go