when libras go cold.........

http://songsdomain.tripod.com/librashadow1/index.html<BR>

depends on how much it hurt, how many times it's happened (both with this individual and in the past...the more they've been burned in the past the fewer chances they'll give new people), whether you were cruel or just got busy, how much they liked you in the first place, how many other people have warmed them up in the meantime, etc. either way, it's rare to warm a libra back up quickly. you'll basically be starting from scratch, and there's a good chance it'll be slower than the last time they warmed up. it's likely that some aspects will warm up, but their heart will stay cold a while longer.

it definitely happens, but that doesn't mean it will happen.

When a libra actually goes cold, it means they don't care if you live or die as long as they never see you again. It means they are completely done and usually fed up with you and how you have treated them and never, ever want to deal with you again. It is a white rage, followed by complete disinterest.

It usually comes out of nowhere too. People will push, push, push and the libra will accommodate, accommodate, accommodate till one thing pushes them over and they are done. And when a Libra is done, a libra is DONE.

Luckily for you, it takes a lot for a Libra to get to that point. You really don't want to push one to that point because there really is nothing left for you except contempt and indifference and puzzlement at why they ever bothered with you in the first place.

When I go cold that means I am done! *NO MORE*

Posted by little_sparrow
When a libra actually goes cold, it means they don't care if you live or die as long as they never see you again. It means they are completely done and usually fed up with you and how you have treated them and never, ever want to deal with you again. It is a white rage, followed by complete disinterest.

It usually comes out of nowhere too. People will push, push, push and the libra will accommodate, accommodate, accommodate till one thing pushes them over and they are done. And when a Libra is done, a libra is DONE.

Luckily for you, it takes a lot for a Libra to get to that point. You really don't want to push one to that point because there really is nothing left for you except contempt and indifference and puzzlement at why they ever bothered with you in the first place.

I know this is a few days old but I want to stir some conversation on these boards and this has to be the best description of our "going cold" I have ever seen. I can count on a single hand the number of people that have pushed me to this point but the number of amazed reaction I get once I do go cold are impossible to count. I read somewhere that Libras have the ability to "forget about a lost love with insulting quickness" and this is what I think it was referring to.

He HAS moved on. He IS "keeping going". You're the one still stuck, thinking and worrying too much about him and what he's doing, instead of getting busy with your own busy and fulfilling life. (

Nefer is right in our attitude after we have ended the romantic portion of the relaitonship. However, Jsshrack you are also onto something. I, personally as well as the other Libran frinds I have, do not date within the common social circle of an ex or even someone we have just had a sexual relationship with.

My guess is you are either dealing with a chronologically young or emotionally young Libra who is actually flautning hsi interractions with other women with some level of consideration of how it would make you feel.

I have had girlfriends that have ahd friends that I think I would be compatible with, or at the lest mutual friends between us that I think I would be compatible with. I also have no desire to create drama by persuing a person whom I know would be in teh category of open wound to someone I just ended a relationship with.

It is part of the Libran "moral high ground", we don't acutally or even want to "fuck your friends". There are plenty of fish in the sea and it's best if we play in different part of the oceans.

With that said.

If we can see one of thoe people as a SERIOUS possibility in long term compatibility we will persue it regardless.

Secondly: Your depiction of the situation is kind of confusing. If you both mutually agreed to remain friends then he expects that not only should be able to openly express himself and his desires (as friends do) but if necessary he should be able to come to you for advice on another girl, of whom you both do or don't know, on everything from how to please her in the bedroom to what kind of wedding you think she wants (as friends do).

When we use the word friendship or friend we are extremeley literal, like most other things. Agreing to remain friends with a Libra doesn't simply mean agreeing to remain friendly....it means that you are fully capable of being party to EVERYTHING that a friend would tpyically be party to....including watching him modify his behavior in attempt to catch a girl he likes.

Forgive me if I am a little confusing here (I am just home form a night at the bar and am a little angry for sleep).

He doesn't sound like he went cold on you. I am not even sure he is over you and/or your relationship. How long were your together? Married or just dating? How long between the breakup and these interactions? What were the general conditions of the breakup? I know this is a lot of questions but it could paint a entirely different picture. I you guys had been married for ten years and you randomly said you wanted a divorce a month ago... would be entirely different than if... you had been dating for two months and he left you for another woman 2 years ago.

From my experience (first person and watching friends) when a Libra is pushed to the point of shutting someone out it would take a good amount of time for them to consider a friendship with you. I typically try to remain friends after a break up but not right away. we need time to calm ourselves and collect our thoughts again. Sex is also a big deal to most Libras, we cannot instantly go from lovers/partners/spouses to "on as friends as if our intimate part didn't exist".

If he couldn't answer that his expectations are purely friendship, he is either playing games with you or he still wants you. Once I know, I am very quick to tell someone where I stand in any given situation.

LibraSid

We were together for almost a year and I broke it off and when I did he seemed surprised. We were not married. Part of me feels that he may not have gotten over me but I could be in some sort of fantasy world. I broke it off since I know that he has strong feelings for this other woman whom I know is a wonderful person and I don't want to be the one in the way if she is into him so I let it go. He denied that there was something going on but from his actions I know there was. When I broke it off with him he was very silent for most of the conversation and didn't answer or say a thing when I asked him if we could be friends since I like our friendship. Part of me regrets letting him got but I was having mixed feelings from him and he seemed to have been going in and out of it. At the time I didn't know that much about Libras, the being there and not being there part of being a Libra. For me, this one seemed to be a keeper BUT a few things just bothered me and then the other woman part pushed me off the edge. As a Leo, I have to be THE one and have the attention and I wasn't getting that from him at the time. Its been 3 months now and we've talked a few times between. I mean him no harm nor wish any revenge to get at him as that is just a phase of someone immature or still in high school. He's been on my mind more lately and can't seem to kick it.

After being together for a year it isn't surprising that after just a couple months you still think about him. Make sure what you are really missing though. Is it HIM or just having SOMEONE?

The comment, "I don't want to be the one in the way if she is into him so I let it go" is very interesting to me.
It could mean a few things... the ones that jump out to me are:
- you didn't really want to be with him so you gave this as an "easy out".
or
- you have low self esteem and didn't think he would "pick you".

If he seemed shocked, maybe he was. Breaking up with him out of nowhere (in his mind) would most likely trigger the response you mentioned too. Silence, he would sit silently and listen then go somewhere alone and think.

You are very conflicted about your feeling and have been since before you broke it off with him. It is no surprise that he hasn't settled into a behavior pattern with you yet. He wants to know what is real with you but you aren't sure yet.

You don't sound like you are ready for a relationship at all. I am really trying to watch my words (something I am not good at) so I don't sound rude or hurtful. You should focus on yourself first.

A few general things I would like to say...

We have all been hurt in the past, I am just a few months out of a eight year marriage, I understand. Still, you cannot let yourself turn bitter or begin to believe that EVERYONE is the same as the ONE person who hurt you. Also, having a child is not baggage, low self esteem is. Do not compare yourself to anyone else looking for faults. Someone will always be prettier, skinnier, fatter, taller, shorter, etc. You are you, I am me, the guy who lives next door to you is the guy who lives next door. All you can worry about is being the best you that there is. The best parent you can be. Make the best life for you and your child. Don't worry about some guy and definitely don't worry about some other chick being "better".

If you don't love yourself how can someone else love you?

If you are too afraid to open up and be yourself, what would a partner being falling in love with anyway? An image?

Maybe I am way off the mark with you, but I don't think so. The last few posts you have been up and down, seeming unsure of yourself more than this Libra.

How long after your prior relationship did you wait before starting things up with this Libra? Did you get over that relationship fully or was this a rebound type thing? If it was a rebound type there can be very strong positive feelings attributed to the person simply because the helped maintain a sense of normalcy for you instead of forcing you to grieve over the lost relationship.

Wow I'm amazed.

First, if he is the one and you know it in your heart then sort it out and go for it. Second, I'm not sure if this is being a Libra or not but if I were him and someone who I have spent that much time with had pulled the rug out from under me, without me sensing anything was wrong, then I would most likely want to sit back and think about it as well, this is most likely the reason he was silent and all.

Third, as for another woman in the mix, well I can only say that if it was placed on my shoulders to chose between "Maryanne" or "Ginger" then I would always go for the "Maryanne" or "Betty and Veronica" if you don't know the last reference. I have always found that the best female weapon against me has always been how a woman interacts with her world and again I'm not sure if that's being a Libra or not so bare with me on that one as well. If he is like anything that you described here then I would say he has this character trait as well.

So all this gobbly gook about the "drop dead gorgeous Blonde Bombshell" is, and I'm sorry about this, just you being insecure. Remember, everyone likes to be around pretty people or at least the people I know do, and no it's not me although I would like to think it is... sorry about that back on topic. I'm sure he's in that same boat that most people are in. So what I recommend is to learn how to live past your insecurities and just be happy with you as a whole. Sorry for the rant it just erks me when I see and or hear people say things like that.

Just remember he was with you not her and it was then you that pushed him away. I recommend that you keep up the chatting/talking as to me it sounds like he may still be interested. Take your time with this so that you both have time to make adjustments. If it doesn't go anywhere then at least you will have a sure friend like no other. Ignore everything else out there that you may think is challenging that and just learn to trust him and also make sure to TALK to him if something is making you upset. The emphasis is on talk and not yell by the way.

Oh yes, one more thing young lady...

Forth, Remember these two things, a child is never baggage and being burned is the only way we can grow to learn what we really want/need.

Go for it. I do hope it works out and I hope that I don't come across as a raving lunatic.

Fox

think you hit the nail on the head and I've been confused for a while now so thank you for saying what you said and I don't think you are being hurtful or anything. at least it didn't come off that way. I need to see reality and not be living in some sort of distorted vision. I was alone for a year before dating. I thought I was ready but apparently not and he prolly was my rebound. It's going to take time. thanks for saying what you said since that is what I had to hear/read.

Fox

I didn't see your post when I replied earlier. Thank you for your comments as well. I'm usually a confident person by myself but when it comes to affairs of the heart then I get very insecure and I do need to get past that part. Another thing that I keep at the back of my mind that I need to just let go is that Libras do like to be with "pretty" people right? So that said, when I saw her I thought, well, I'm outta here.

I tried getting his attention a few days ago and he just kept it very short not allowing any other information by. He kept it very casual. I'll leave it as that and just let him be. Who knows, maybe he's still confused with the way I left. If he returns he returns. I don't know how badly I hurt him if I did at all. It's hard to tell. I do feel bad after reading posts about Libras and how to tell if they are interested in you or not. He went full force after me in the beginning and then slowly drifted in and out and that could have been something that both of us were feeling at the time.